Fair warning: this episode brings the heat. This is a topic I’ve felt compelled to discuss a lot lately, and I’m not holding back.
As adults with ADHD, our brains are reactive. This means that when there’s a stimulus (aka phone notification, a child calling for you, etc.), our brains are naturally triggered to react. We lack impulse control, so our instinct is to respond immediately.
Someone who’s proactive, on the other hand, will slow down first. They’ll take a breath and decide when it’s in their best interest to react. They don’t act out of impulse, and they aren’t constantly putting out fires or managing other people’s issues at their own expense.
So, how do you morph into someone proactive as an ADHDer? First, you have to take care of your most basic needs. Be sure you’re medicating, staying hydrating, getting into nature, and moving your body in a way that feels good to you.
Secondly, you MUST decide what you want and be willing to fight for it. You cannot create or control a situation if you don’t know what you want. Give yourself the space and time to find out what you want. And remember: to live the life you want, you can’t keep pleasing other people.
In this episode, I’m breaking down everything I wish I’d known years ago about being a proactive human, including why it’s important to stop saying yes to everyone else’s request so I can start living in reactive mode.
If you want a safe space together where you can feel seen and heard as you go through this work, I invite you to check out FOCUSED, my group coaching program for adults with ADHD. Inside FOCUSED, I can take care of you and support you as we work through this together.
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