I HAVE ADHD PODCAST - Episode #255

March 19, 2024

Your ADHD Questions, Answered

Every once in a while, I struggle to know what to do for a podcast. This was one of those episodes.

So, I decided to take questions posted in the FOCUSED Slack by our community members and answer them publicly. And you know what? This ended up being so much fun.

Because those of us with ADHD are very similar. We’re human beings with ADHD brains. And that is a common experience that just binds us together. 

So, I know reading these questions and answering them will be helpful for you.

We’re covering topics like…

  1. What to do if you feel like medication isn’t working for you
  2. How to avoid binge eating when you struggle with ADHD
  3. How to transition into intimacy with your partner when it’s unexpected
  4. All the challenges of parenting with ADHD

There’s a reason I chose the questions. I know so many of you struggle with them. So, if you resonate with any of these topics, you don’t want to miss this episode.

AG 1 by Athletic Greens



Featured Download


This totally free printable includes a psychologist-approved list of symptoms that adults with ADHD commonly experience. This could give you the answers you’ve been begging for your entire life.

Welcome to the I have ADHD podcast, where it’s all about education, encouragement and coaching for adults with ADHD. I’m your host, Kristen Carter and I have ADHD. Let’s chat about the frustrations, humor and challenges of adulting relationships working and achieving with this neurodevelopmental disorder. I’ll help you understand your unique brain. Unlock your potential and move from point A to point B.

To What’s up, this is Kristen Carter and you’re listening to the I have ADHD podcast. I am medicated, I am caffeinated. I am regulated and I am ready to roll. Welcome to the show. So glad you’re here. Thank you for pressing play on this podcast. It is a dreary March day. I hope that wherever you are, is not as Jerry as it is here because gosh, dang, is bad. I cannot wait for spring. Let’s go. I need warm weather, I need hiking, I need access to Sunshine, please, for the love of God, I just need some sunshine, please. I don’t know if this is everyone. But the weather certainly affects me my mood, my ADHD symptoms, all the things. So I feel that means that I should probably move to California or to Florida or to somewhere that is always dry and sunny and warm and beautiful. But that is not in the cards for your girl.

This is not the way it is. So here we are. We’re stuck on the East Coast of America, which is whatever, it’s great, but it is damp and cold and not nice. Okay, moving on. I want to say a heartfelt thank you. I have been so full of gratitude. The last couple of weeks, I asked you all to consider rating the podcast, and perhaps even reviewing if you had the capacity and you all showed up. And I just want to acknowledge you and honor you for that and say thank you so much ratings went way up. We also then started to climb the podcast charts, I need you to know how important that is. And like what a difference it makes. We also moved up in our rating on Apple podcasts from 4.8 to 4.9. So you really moved the needle there for me and for the show. And I want to say thank you, it made such a difference. It just really does make a difference. I know it seems like a really small thing I know. It’s just kind of like why bother? You might think why bother? What’s the big deal? What difference does it make, but for the show, it makes a very big difference. And that means that for me personally, it makes a really big difference. So thank you so much for showing up and for rating, reviewing your kind words, your five star ratings, they they do mean the world to me, I am just a human, I’m just a human with ADHD who needs positive feedback that is just the way it is. There is no other way to give that positive feedback other than a rating or review. And so thank you, I really do appreciate it. My ADHD brain appreciates it, my soft little smushy heart appreciates it, the show appreciates it, my company appreciates it. Thank you, thank you, thank you, if you haven’t been able to do that yet, and you feel compelled to please do just go ahead and hit that five star rating, especially if you’re listening on Spotify or Apple podcasts and just just know how much it truly does mean to me and to the show. Thank you really appreciate you ADHD we’re really though, okay, today, we’re doing something pretty fun.

I struggled to know what to do for a podcast, every once in a while. I’m so inspired. And I’m like, this is exactly what I’m going to do. This is exactly what I’m going to say I get so fired up and it is really fun. And then other times it’s like doo doo doo, I have no idea what to say what to do. And I’m required by law just getting to have a pod, like what am I supposed to do when I don’t have an idea? You know? And so what I thought would be fun is to take some questions from my community members within my focused ADHD coaching group. And you know, just some questions that have been posted in our Slack community and answer them publicly. What I know about all of us with ADHD is that we are very similar. There’s not that many differences between us although we would like to think that we are magical, unique unicorns. We’re really just very similar. We are human beings with ADHD brains, and that is a common experience that just binds us together. And so I know that me reading these questionsand answering them, I think it’s really going to be helpful to you.

Taking care of your health isn’t always easy, but it should at least be simple. Like, why isn’t it more simple. And that’s why for the last two years, I’ve been drinking ag one persistently, pretty much every day. It’s just one scoop, mixed in water once a day, and it makes me feel so much better. I’ve noticed improved, focused, better mental clarity, better concentration. And what I just learned about it is that it supports healthy hormone production, which is so important to me now that I’m in perimenopause, I truly do feel so much better. And that’s because each serving of ag one delivers my daily dose of vitamins, minerals, pre and probiotics, and more. It’s just like a really powerful, healthy habit that’s also powerfully simple. And it has to be simple, right? Because I have ADHD, if it’s not simple, I’m telling you, I’m not going to do it. That’s just the truth. This is so simple. Now, you all know that for decades, I have reached for the coffee pot, the instant that my eyes open. And when I introduced the I use the word habit very loosely the habit of drinking at one. I’ve done that later in the day. But to my absolute shock, I’ve been able to change that. Now I drink ag one first thing in the morning, which is recommended for optimal nutrient absorption. I literally picture my like gut and my cells just like absorbing all of the goodness first thing in the morning. And I’ve got to tell you, I do feel a difference. I fill up my shaker with extra cold water. My eyes are not even open yet. I add one scoop of ag one I shake it up good to go. It takes me 30 seconds max from start to finish. And I am not exaggerating it. It’s so simple, or I wouldn’t do it. And it’s helped me feel so much better, especially in the mornings. If there’s one product that I had to recommend to elevate your health, it’s ag one and that’s why I’ve partnered with them for so long. And exclusively. They’re the only product that I’ve allowed to have ads on this podcast because I believe in it so much. So if you want to take ownership of your health, start with ag one, try ag one and get a free one year supply of vitamin d3 k two and five, free ag one travel packs with your first purchase exclusively at drink. Ag one.com/i have ADHD. That’s drink ag one.com/i have ADHD, check it out.

All right, let’s just start out right away. Question number one, I feel like medication isn’t working for me. How do I know? How do I measure if it’s working? I think this is such a good question. Especially for those of you who are maybe new to your ADHD journey. And you’re considering medication or you’ve tried medication you just are like, I don’t really know if it makes a difference. I want you to know that there are varied experiences when people take ADHD medication. Sometimes, and this is of course, best case scenario, you take a medication and it feels like everything changes instantly, it feels like you’ve put on a pair of glasses, you can see the world clearly, a lot of people experience it, like the volume is being turned down on all of the noise in their brain. And for the first time ever, they can think without all of the distraction and noise in their brain. And that’s an awesome experience. Like hello, that’s amazing. That’s the dream. That is not how it is for everyone, though. And so I don’t want you, dear listener to expect that to be the case for you. It might not be. For me personally, I have been on a stimulant medication and a non stimulant medication, not at the same time at separate times. And what I will tell you is that for me, when I took the stimulant, I did not notice any change at the first lowest dose, and we had to bump up the dosage three times before I did notice a difference. Once the dosage was at the proper place, I noticed a huge difference. And it was very clear to me that it was working with a stimulant medication.

The way that those medications work, you take it and it’s just like boom in your body. 10 minutes later, you feel different and that’s just like, there you go. And so once it was at the proper dosage, I did have that experience and it was wonderful. And it was clear to me that it was working even though I was 21 Probably I think 21 years old. I didn’t have a lot of self reflection but I was able to determine like, Yeah, this is making a difference. Um, then I was still in college. So my grades reflected that, which was really nice when I started taking a non stimulant medication, which was in 2016, so not too too long ago, and I was a grown woman I was in my 30s had a lot more self reflection available to me, just because of like, added maturity, I started taking a non stimulant, and I did not notice any difference, honestly. And we kept bumping up the dosage and bumping up the dosage and got to a level where, I mean, she was just like, Okay, we’re gonna stay here. And I was like, okay, and it was like six weeks, and I was like, I, I still don’t notice anything. And then, you know, a couple months went by I was like, I don’t know if this is working. And so I reached out to my bestie. And I reached out to my husband, and I was just like, do you notice a difference?

And both of them are like, Oh, my gosh, yes, you have to take, you have to continue to take this medicine. And I mean, of course, they didn’t mean I had to. But they were very adamant that they noticed a big difference in my ability to self regulate, they notice a big difference in my emotional regulation. And so once they started naming specific things that they saw a difference in, I was able to then kind of be on the lookout for that, and notice it and be like, okay, yes, this is helping me. And that was really, really, really helpful to get their input. And so I just want to normalize the experience of not really being sure if the medication is working, and I want you to know that this process takes time, and it is okay, that this process takes time. And please reach out to your trusted comrades, the people that you know, that are safe, and that you trust, reach out to them, and ask them if they notice a difference. A lot of times, because we struggle so much with self reflection, if we don’t see a huge, you know, remarkable difference, we’re going we as the ADHD or are gonna be like, isn’t really working, and then we’ll just stop. But that might not actually be accurate. And so I want to encourage you to reach out to the other people around you and ask them like, hey, what do you notice, another thing that I think is really important to understand is that even if a medication only helps a little bit, the cumulative effect of that medication working just a little bit, can make a huge difference over time.

So I think, as someone with ADHD, we want to see huge results. Now, yesterday, five days, we want them, we want big results, we want major dopamine, and we want to see it immediately. And I want to make a case for small changes, small improvements, accumulating over time, and kind of overall, improving the quality of your life. On a level that might be so small, or seemingly insignificant, that you you might not notice a whole lot, unless you let it go for a while and see that it has this positive effect over time. And so I really encourage you, if you have access to medication, if you have found a medication that feels good for your body, but you’re just not sure if it’s working, I would encourage you to reach out to ask trusted people in your life. And I would also encourage you to just look at small changes and how those might accumulate over the long haul and actually make a big difference over time. Okay, here’s the next question. And I want to offer a simple trigger warning with this question.

It’s going to be about binge eating. And so if that is not a topic that you want to discuss, or here, just do a fast forward of a couple minutes, and you can move on to the next one. So the question is how to not binge eat with ADHD? This is such a beautiful question and what I’ve learned through my coaching colleagues, you know, nutrition coaches, and people who specialize in ADHD and eating, what I’ve learned is that this is actually a very common difficulty for people with ADHD. And I want to make a little plug here that it is also very common for people who have experienced trauma, relational trauma, specifically, emotional neglect. Those of us who I’m going to raise my hand, who have been emotionally neglected will likely struggle with eating.

We will likely struggle with binge eating this is common, this is beginning to be a known fact. And so for me personally, is it ADHD? Or is it emotional? Like the effects of emotional neglect? I’m not really sure. But binge eating has been something that I have personally struggled with. And so to answer the question, how to not binge eat, there’s a couple of facets that go into this. First, I would be really curious about your medication journey, or your medication schedule. So if you’re taking medication, what is the schedule like? Is it a stimulant, that is, it stays in your body for X number of hours. And during that time, you perhaps do not feel hungry, and then it wears off at night, and then maybe you are ravenous. And so if that is the case, this might, might be a pretty simple fix, which would be make sure that you’re eating throughout the day, all of us, all of us should be eating about every three ish hours. And for some of us, that is easier than others.

And so if you struggle personally, with remembering to eat, and especially if you struggle with binge eating, those two might be connected. The fact that you forget to eat or your medication just makes it so that you’re not really hungry. And then all of a sudden, your body kind of catches up. And it’s like in a calorie deficit, and you literally need a lot of food to make up for that. And then you find yourself perhaps binge eating. So getting on a, as regular of an eating schedule as possible would be amazing. setting alarms, prepping food in advance asking for help. Food isn’t something that I am particularly good at. And I have just started using DoorDash. And I know that is so privileged, but my solution to being really bad at packing lunch being really bad at remembering to eat being really bad at like, all of the sudden, I’m starving, and there’s no food around them just like shoo, like I totally forgot, I have been employing this as an ADHD support. So like for me DoorDash goes into the category of ADHD support, because what it is supporting is my health and my ability to eat food today.

Is it terrible, I’m sharing this, I don’t know, we have a restaurant called Honey grow around us honey grow. And it’s relatively healthy. I mean, it’s fast food, but it’s still like relatively healthy. And so I got rice noodles and stir fry and then like a fruit cup. And that is that’s better than what I would have eaten at home. And so allowing myself the privilege, allowing myself the grace and space to make food quick and easy. Helps me stave off that ravenous, like binge eating at the end of the day. Another thing with binge eating that we should know about is that sometimes we are in a dopamine deficit. And we are wanting to eat or wanting that stimulation. So sometimes it’s not really about the food. It’s more about the stimulation. So I’m craving the crunch. I’m craving the dopamine of like sugar or carbs. totally valid. It’s just interesting to pay attention to that and to say like, am I actually hungry? Or am I in a dopamine depletion? Am I dopamine deficient right now? And do I just need some sort of stimulation that’s going to make me feel really good? And could that perhaps be going for a walk snuggling with my pet calling a friend? Obviously, if I’m hungry, I’m going to eat but checking in to see like, is this just a dopamine depletion? Or am I actually hungry? That could be really helpful. Another thing that I want to say about binge eating is that, you know, I said at the beginning, this could be tied to trauma, emotional neglect. And so what would be really beautiful would be, can you check in with yourself to see if you’re feeling a big feeling right now? And are you trying to use food to escape that big feeling? I will raise my hand high in the air and say that I was actually taught to use food to escape big feelings that was that was trickled down. And literally was taught to do that. And so of course, that was my most significant tool in my emotional processing tool belts for decades was like, I will use food to make myself feel better to self soothe. And I think a lot of us who’ve been under nurtured would relate to that. And so I would really encourage you if you struggle with binge eating, to look into it.

Do I actually just need to be nurtured right now? Am I hungry? Which if you’re hungry, please eat Oh my gosh. Or if it’s been three hours or more since you’ve last eaten, please eat, don’t restrict yourself just eat. But Do do you need nurture? Do you need to process emotions? Do you need connection? For some of us, we use food for that nurture and connection and emotional processing. And if that’s the case for you, that is one tool, but I would encourage you to develop other tools for emotional processing connection, and nurturing. Okay, hopefully everybody’s doing okay after that. Next question. This one is so good. This one is so good. Here we go. How do I transition into intimacy when it’s kind of unexpected?

This is such a good question. And I think that we need to really talk about it. Because for some ADHD brains, I believe spontaneous intimacy with your partner can be amazing, great, wonderful. But what happens when you are when you either have a plan for your day, or you are engrossed in something else, and your partner initiates intimacy, and you just struggle to get your brain to transition. We all know that as ADHD or as transitions are hard for us, hello, this is just like a very well known fact, what is so difficult about having ADHD and about transitions being difficult is that even transitioning into things that are fun that we want to do, that we know are beneficial, and that we enjoy? Even transitioning into those types of things can be really, really difficult. One of my biggest suggestions here, and it might not sound very sexy, but one of the biggest suggestions I can make is make a plan for intimacy. I don’t know why, like a schedule gets a bad rap. But if you live a busy life, if you have a partner that you do want to connect with, if you struggle with transitions, making a plan, and or asking your partner to be willing to make a plan can solve so many problems. It doesn’t have to be like let’s put it on the calendar. But it could even be something like, talk about it in the morning and make a plan for later. That can be really helpful or even talk about it at dinner and make a plan for an hour, even if you had an hour to kind of get your brain on board with what you already know you want to do.

That can be so so relieving and helpful. It can take out so much tension, and so much like resentment and the weirdness of like saying no, even though you want to say yes, but you’re like engrossed in something, and it feels awkward. And you’re just like, you kind of feel like you’re stuck between a rock and a hard place, if that makes sense. Like when intimacy is initiated, but you are already engrossed in something else, it feels wrong, to make yourself shift out of the thing. So that feels wrong. But then it also feels wrong to say no to something that you know, that you want, or that you know, would be good for the relationship. And so either way, you feel like you’re doing something wrong, I’m either abandoning myself and what I wanted to do and what I was already engrossed in, or I’m abandoning, like, what I know is good for the relationship. And so I just would love to say, if this is something that you struggle with, as an ADHD are in your relationship, be vulnerable with your partner. Be vulnerable with your partner, tell them the truth. Tell them the truth. Here’s the scripts that you can use. You can say something like, intimacy with you, my favorite thing in the world. Love it. Love it, love it. Let me tell you, it’s hard though. What’s really hard for my ADHD brain is transitions. And if I’m already engrossed in something else, or if I already have a plan, or if I’m just if it’s just not on my radar, and you initiate intimacy, I can just kind of get stuck. I can get like, I just I don’t know what to do.

I don’t really want to because my brain just isn’t there. But I know I do want to because like, I like it, and it’s fun, and which I know like it’s good for the relationship, but also just like I don’t know how to get my brain there. So, would you be cool with just giving me a heads up if it’s on your mind? Could you just tell me it’s on your mind? Could you just say, Hey, this is on my mind. Y’all wanna may plan that consent. That’s weird that I use that language, isn’t it. But I can’t think that’s what it is, it’s like, we need to consent and get our brains on board with it. That can be so helpful in a relationship. And also it’s letting your partner in to how you operate to how your brain works to what you need. And this is so interesting. I got real spicy on a call this week because one of our members asked this question on a call one of my focused ADHD coaching members. And I answered this question exactly the same as I am saying it to you right now on this podcast, and what was happening in the chat. So we’re on a webinar, people were asking questions, I was responding, but then the chat is going so our community shows up to the calls, and they chit chat in the chat with each other to chat in the chat. And it’s really fun, and they enjoy it, I enjoy it. It’s great. What I was seeing happening in the chat is a lot of people were saying, Yeah, I already asked my partner if they would be willing to schedule and they were not willing to schedule. I already threw out the idea of, you know, asking in advance and like kind of planning it in advance. And my partner was not willing to do that. And I, I gotta tell you, the fire of rage inside of me. It burn break. It burns really bright. Because when you express a vulnerable need, especially around the topic of intimacy, and your partner says, No, that’s stupid, I don’t want to do that. I want you to get mad about that. I want you to be mad. And if you’re not mad, why aren’t you mad about that? I want to know why the members who expressed that. And you’re probably listening to this right now, I want to know why you let that go. While you’re letting that go, you expressed a need, you made a very reasonable request, you were vulnerable about how your brain works and what’s going on now. Maybe you didn’t say it in the quote unquote, right way.

So maybe you could go back and have a redo and say, Hey, I know I’ve already said this before. Let me give you a little information. Let me give you a little more context. As to why I’m asking. The reason why I’m asking is because transitions are really hard for me. And when my brain is kind of like in one gear, it’s very difficult for me to switch gears. And I would really appreciate and I’m telling you, this is what I need. I need time, I need at least an hour or whatever it is for you. Personally, I need an hour, I need a couple hours, I need a day, whatever. I need some time to get my brain on board. So if this is something that you want, I want it to, but I need some time. Now. Here’s the thing. Here’s the thing. Here’s the thing, here’s the thing, and I literally said this to my community, why are we putting out for people who are not nice to us? If your partner says no, that’s stupid. I’m not making a schedule? No. Okay, well, I guess we won’t be intimate, then.

Silence intended, like, I’m expressing a need. And you’re saying no. So what are we going to do about that? I guess, that we’re not going to be able to be intimate. Hmm, yeah, I guess that’s the like, why isn’t that? Why wasn’t that your response? Does what I want to know? Okay. So I want you to understand that your needs are valid, that you are allowed to express a need to make a request to say, Hey, if you initiate intimacy, I might say no. And it’s not because I don’t like yeah, it’s because my brand is just not there. So if you want a guaranteed or a pretty much guaranteed yes, you’re going to need to ask me in advance. You can still initiate last minute, but the answer is probably going to be no. Hello, anyone. Like I don’t know what’s happening. I wish I could see your faces. I wish I could see your faces. I need a little feedback right now as to what your thoughts are. But in my mind, this makes complete sense. It is reasonable. This is how relationships work. Relationships are not dictated by one person who says no, that’s stupid, and I’m not doing that you’re doing it my way. That’s not how relationships work, my friends. And so If you have a need, and this goes far beyond intimacy, if you have a need in a relationship you are entitled to express that need, and then kind of set a boundary to protect yourself around that needs. So let me give you an example of a non intimacy need, just so that we can talk about it kind of out of that context. Let’s say that your partner loves having people over and they bring people over, on announced, they’re entitled to bring people to their own home. Sure. But you have zero obligation to engage. And so you can express a need, and you can say, hey, I love it, when you bring people over, that’s amazing.

But I need 24 hours notice to get my head in the game of like being social. So if you want me to, like hang out with the people that you bring over, I’m going to need notice, you’re gonna have to ask me in advance, you’re gonna have to like run this by me. Now, if they continue to just bring people over unannounced, you are then 100% entitled, and actually, you really should just hold the boundary of No, I’m not engaging. Love, you have a great time I’m going upstairs. Okay, so that’s kind of like a non intimate example, could be relatable, you are allowed to express your needs in your relationship. And then you are also allowed to create boundaries, to protect yourself, if your partner does not consent to meeting your needs where you need them met. Okay, got real spicy. I’m gonna do one more question. I’m gonna do one more. All right, last question. This is kind of a longer one, but I think it’s going to be really helpful. Here’s what they said. They said, parenting with ADHD has been a special struggle for me. And I’m curious if others have had these experiences. I value time with my kids. But I’m honestly bored and zoned out very often, I struggle to set and hold boundaries. And I often give in to poor behaviors due to feeling overstimulated second guessing my first response, or plain old forgetting what I said earlier. At times, seeing my kids upset, has been extremely distressing for me, and contributed to my inconsistency. But this is improving with age. I am often on automatic, and I respond to demand without awareness.

Hello, ADHD parents unite. Like is this not the most relatable thing ever? So I just wanted to speak into this a little bit, because I think parents who have ADHD have a special struggle, we have a very specific and special struggle. And I believe that this focus member really did articulate it really, really clearly. We value time with our kids, but we’re bored and zoned out very often. I cannot express to you clearly enough, how boring playing with my kids is. And when they were little I struggled to do it so much. Now I understand that part of the reason why is because I was a parental FIDE child. And I never really did know how to play that maybe is beside the point here. But I think having ADHD means that dopamine is really important. And there is not a lot of dopamine when it comes to playing with your kids. So I just want to validate this experience. If you are an ADHD parent who has parenting children, and probably some of those kids have ADHD, getting bored and zoned out during playtime is so hard. What I would suggest here if you want a suggestion is to limit your playtime with them. But when you are playing with them be very present as much as you possibly can try to plan things. Try to do things with them that you enjoy. So like let’s say you enjoy roller skating. Take your kids to a roller skating rink. Let’s say you enjoy swimming, take your kids swimming.

So like not only things that they enjoy, but also things that you enjoy. But yeah, playing with you’re like sitting on the living room floor and just like pretending to be a superhero with my kids was the worst kind of punishment. And I feel badly. I really do. This is one of the parts of my motherhood journey that I am not proud of. But I do want to validate that this is really hard. The next thing they say is I struggled to set and hold boundaries and I often get into poor behaviors due to feeling overstimulated second guessing my first response or plain old forgetting what I said earlier. Same, same same and I still struggle with this. My husband is very neurotypical, systematic, methodical, really good at holding boundaries. And I am just like, first of all, I just don’t really care that much. Sometimes there’s no dopamine in a boundary, especially when your kid is pushing against it. When I’m overstimulated, it’s like, I will do anything to get out of that situation. And so letting a boundary go is one of those things. I’m just like, okay, whatever, go on your iPad, right there, just like please go, it’s fine. And then also a second guessing like, maybe the boundary is too strict. Maybe I didn’t do it right the first time, maybe I wasn’t clear enough, bla bla bla, that is so hard. I, I have started writing down specific boundaries for my kids. So that I don’t forget. So that is something that I can pass on to you if that’s helpful. But yes, all of this is really, really hard. I will also cosign how difficult it is to see your kids get upset when your kids are dysregulated.

And you have not learned the skill of self regulation. That is like an atomic bomb. It is just so explosive. And this is why I talk all the time, about emotional regulation being one of the top top top skills that we can develop as humans, because what I have learned too late, but at least I am implementing it is that a parent’s literal job, like one of the primary jobs as a parent is to be regulated, because children are allowed and expected to be unregulated. And hear all along. I thought that my kids were supposed to be regulated so that I could be regulated. Hello, Who Am I preaching to? I thought it was my kids job to be regulated so that I could feel calm. But it turns out as fate would have it, that it’s actually my job, as the parent as the grown up, to be regulated to learn the skill of regulation, so that my kids can be kids. So that my kids can act like kids, and how do kids act? They’re dysregulated, they throw temper tantrums, they’re wild, you know, I’ve two teenage boys, they can be really aggressive, like, kids are supposed to be allowed to be dysregulated. And as the parent, it’s my job to be regulated. And so for everyone learn the skill of self regulation, if you have no idea where to start, come join focus. This is not meant to be an ad. But here we are. Here we are, I have an entire course on emotional regulation. And I’m telling you, this is the number one skill that we need to learn. I can’t, I cannot stress that enough to you, especially if you’re a parent, I wish that I had learned the skill of emotional regulation before I had kids.

If I could go back and do one thing differently in my life, that would be it. If I had like, hand to God, if I had to choose just one thing, only one thing in my life that I could get a redo on, it would literally be learn the skill of self regulation before you have children. Now, it was too late for me. I didn’t learn it until my oldest was like 12. And that’s really sad. And that is a heartbreak. And I will spend the rest of his life making that up to him. And let’s be real, I am not always regulated, but I do have the skill. Now. It is available to me it is at my disposal, I know what to do when my body gets internally wild. And when my kids are all dysregulated I used to yell so much at my kids. And that was because I was having a big feeling in my body and I was trying to control them so that my feelings would be calmer. If I could just control them and stop them from being crazy, then I could feel good.

Now that is the hard way that is the long way around. Then I learned this skill of self regulation. And now they can be crazy and I can be calm. So highly recommend. This is fun. I hope you loved it. I had a really good time. I was thinking maybe it would be fun to have you guys like send in questions once in a while or whatever. I don’t know how we would do that. But it’s a thought in my brain that maybe answering questions on the podcast or like having a segment like whatever I made segments on the podcast. How would you all like that? I have no idea but that can be really fun. Like an Ask Me Anything ADHD related segment.

Okay. Anyway, I’m digressing. I heart Yeah, I can’t wait to talk to you next week. Have a good one. A few years ago I went looking for help. I wanted to find someone to teach me how to feel better about myself and to help me improve my organization productivity, time management, emotional regulation. You know, all the things that we adults with ADHD struggle with, couldn’t find anything. So I researched and I studied and I hired coaches and I figured it out. Then I created focused for you. Focus is my monthly coaching membership where I teach educated professional adults how to accept their ADHD brain and hijack their ability to get stuff done. Hundreds of people from all over the world are already benefiting from this program and I’m confident that you will to go to Ihaveadhd.com/focus for all details.

Are you sure? Take a deep breath and ground yourself in your body.
Yes, I want to cancel

I'd rather pause my membership.