Kristen Carder 0:05
Kristin, welcome to the I have ADHD podcast, where it’s all about education, encouragement and coaching for adults. With ADHD, I’m your host, Kristin Carter and I have ADHD. Let’s chat about the frustrations, humor and challenges of adulting, relationships, working and achieving with this neurodevelopmental disorder, I’ll help you understand your unique brain, unlock your potential and move from point A to point B. Hey, what’s up? This is Kristin Carter, and you’re listening to the I have the ADHD podcast, I am medicated. I am caffeinated. I am regulated because I am here with someone that I love very much, and I’m ready to roll today on the show, I have my friend and colleague, Paula Engebretson, with me, and I am so looking forward to introducing you to her and to her work. We’re going to talk about productivity. We’re going to talk about chatgpt. We’re going to talk about managing emails and like figuring out how to be a human with ADHD and Paula and I were just chatting off air that we kind of complement each other’s work in that I don’t really love talking about productivity. It is not my ministry. It is not something that I’m like passionate about, and she’ll coach on relationships, but she doesn’t love talking about it, and so our work is really complementary to each other, and I love that about just being friends with her. I have spent a lot of time with Paula. I’ve traveled with her. I’ve just had so much fun getting to know her as a colleague and a friend and fellow coach, and I’m just so happy she’s here. So before we get started today, I really want to encourage you, if you’re listening to this podcast and it is resonating with you, my friend, do me a solid and hit that rating button. Hit that five star button. This matters so much to the podcast and to just our ability to get out there in the world and for other ADHD ers to find us. And also don’t forget that you have ADHD so you will probably forget that the podcast exists if you don’t hit follow or subscribe. So go ahead and do that as well. I am so glad that you are here. I know there’s a million podcasts for you to listen to, and the fact that you press play on this one, it matters. I’m so glad so let me tell you a little bit about my guest today, Paula Engebretson is an ADHD coach and a productivity expert with a mission to empower adults with ADHD, Paula helps her clients step out of the neurotypical box as they embrace their strength and make time for what they value most. She’s the host of the I am busy being awesome podcast, and she delivers fresh, actionable episodes every Monday. Go on and subscribe to her pod as well. Her podcast is a valuable resource for listeners seeking practical tips, reliable frameworks and genuine encouragement as they navigate the complexities of living with ADHD, and that’s exactly what she is going to be giving us today as well. So Paula, my friend, my colleague, my fellow Coach, welcome to the podcast.

Paula 3:16
Thank you. Thanks for having me. I’m so glad to be here.

Kristen Carder 3:19
I’m so glad to be here with you as well. And should we tell the listeners all of the fun places that we’ve traveled together? I

Paula 3:27
think that’s a really great place to start. Yeah.

Kristen Carder 3:29
So we in 2021 went to Sedona. I took my team, and then invited a couple friends to come along as well, and we did some hiking, one particular hike where I thought maybe I would die. Did you also think that maybe you would die?

Paula 3:46
Oh, for sure. I mean, I think we have video of me literally complaining, I’m going to die.

Kristen Carder 3:55
It was maybe the most intense hike I’ve ever done. We hiked down like a ravine to a body of water, I guess it was a river, and that was wonderful. We got in the river, but then we had to hike back up. Of course. We went in the middle of the day because we have ADHD. We don’t get up early till it

Paula 4:12
was in August. In August, Let’s not miss that part August, Sedona in Arizona, yeah, in the desert.

Kristen Carder 4:19
Not that smart. If we had a neurotypical friend with us, they probably would have been like, do you want to rethink this? But instead, we just, we winged it, and it was great. We survived. And then just a couple months ago, we were in Mexico together, and that was delightful. And you you missed out on the near death experience in Mexico, which is good. It’s true, you opted out of that one.

Paula 4:46
I opted out, although we did have that water tornado that came across the ocean while you were out in a kayak, so that was a thing, too.

Kristen Carder 4:54
Oh my gosh. It’s just like traveling when you have ADHD. I. Things are just not thought through 100% I would say they’re thought through like 87% and we do a great job, and we have a great time, but the safety and precautionary aspect, I mean, I feel like that’s what you bring to the table as a friend is like, Hey guys, we need to be careful here, but still with the flavor of ADHD.

Paula 5:21
Right, right? The Enneagram six with ADHD.

Kristen Carder 5:27
If you’ve listened to this podcast for any length of time, you’ve definitely heard me talk about the fact that I don’t have a morning routine. I have what’s called a please don’t die list, Kristen, could you please not die. And on that list are things like eating, taking my medication, making sure I’m clothed. You know, the very, very basics morning routines are so hard for adults with ADHD and I have just thrown in the towel and dropped all of the drama around it. But I want to tell you something fascinating I have been able to be so consistent with the routine of drinking ag one every day. I kid you not. I drink it every day. I wake up, I come down the stairs, and the first thing I do is get my little shaker out, fill it with water, add a scoop of ag one, and I’m telling you that it makes me feel so ready to take on the day, like I’m doing something so good for my body. And my body is like, oh, actual nutrition. I appreciate you. Thank you so much. Speaking of that nutrition, AG, one is a foundational nutrition supplement that delivers daily nutrients and gut health support. Now this is so important because we’ve talked about this before. Diet and nutrition are very difficult for those of us with ADHD, we are prone to lean toward the sweets we want, the chips we want, the dopamine. But if we can make sure that we’re doing something good for our bodies every day, it will make a difference. What’s so cool about ag one is that it’s backed by multiple research studies. That is not nothing you can really trust what you’re putting in your body when you take ag one, because unlike so many other products, their entire formula is backed by research, not just the ingredients, but the whole formula over 14 years. AG, one has been focused on innovation with a trusted, nutrient dense blend. That’s the perfect complement to any diet, whether your diet is healthy or you struggle with nutrition. AG, one is the perfect complement no matter what. Now you know, I’m a Research girly. That is so much of what I do for this podcast. So I do care about the details. And with ag one, I can trust their research and how they’re validating the product working in the body. If you’ve heard me talk about ag one before, you may have heard me say that I’ve actually noticed that I need less coffee in the morning, which is wild, because coffee is literally the reason I get out of bed in the morning. What’s cool is that their research backs this after 60 days of taking, eg, 190 1% of people in a research study notice that they need less coffee as well. So I’m not the only one listen, if there’s one product I trust to support my whole body health, it’s ag one, and that’s why I partner with them and them alone for so long, it’s easy. If it wasn’t easy, I wouldn’t do it. I promise you that. And it’s satisfying to start your day with ag one, knowing that at least you’ve got the foundation of a little bit of nutrition right there. So you can try, AG, one, and get a free one year supply of vitamin d3, k2, and five free. AG, one travel packs, which are going to be amazing for summer travel. By the way, you can get all of that with your first purchase at drink. AG, one.com/i, have ADHD. That’s drink, AG, one.com/i have ADHD. Go check it out.

All right, Paula,

tell us your ADHD story. Because one of the things that I don’t understand why it’s not in your bio is that you are a PhD. You are a former college professor and you are a published author. Like why I as your friend? I have no idea why that is not front and center in your bio. But can you tell us a little bit about how you discovered you had ADHD in the midst of all of this academic life?

Paula 9:38
Yes, yeah. So it was in the midst of this academic spiral of chaos that I got diagnosed. So it was in 2016 I had finished my dissertation, finished my PhD, I was working. I had a postdoc, and was in a. Training for adults with and students with learning differences. And was watching the different slides that came up in a slide for ADHD comes up, and I went, Oh, my that is me right there on a slide, okay. And that, of course, took me down the rabbit hole, because all my career, from in all of grad school, masters, PhD, all of it, I was always scrambling to keep up. You know, it was such a shame spiral that I just lived in of like I can’t keep up. I’m not smart enough. I shouldn’t even be here. I can’t even remember what I just read. And I was constantly masking and trying to hide who I was, and, you know, the struggles that I was facing to see this, you know, slide. It’s like, here’s all the things that you’re struggling with. Paula, angebra was written directly to me, and I went, got diagnosed shortly thereafter. And Sarah working with a psychiatrist and therapist and coach and and all the things to to let things fall into. Was that validating

Kristen Carder 11:05
for you, or was it depressing for you? Like, what did you feel when you were diagnosed? Because, again, just to remind everyone, she has a PhD, she’s a published author. She’s, I mean, in my mind, outside looking in, like, wow, wildly successful, very smart. How do you feel when you’re diagnosed with ADHD,

Paula 11:28
yeah. So as you know, it’s always a different journey for everybody with the diagnosis process. But for me, it was incredibly validating and a huge relief, because for my entire life, and especially college onward, it was clearly that I was just too stupid, like that was my story. I’m not smart enough to be here. I’m too stupid. I can’t do this, and to go, Oh no, that’s actually not it. You just don’t have supports for your brain. Like the the world of academia is not built for your type of learning and your type of getting things done. It is a very specific type of approach, and to be able to, you know, have that as the reason behind it, that is not just me was so affirming and empowering actually, because there’s some power about it. Yeah,

Kristen Carder 12:21
that’s wonderful. I love that. You know, you mentioned that the experience is different for everyone, and I’ve, you know, come across that, of course, in my work. But for me as well, it was so relieving and empowering to feel like, oh, there’s something I can do about this. Like, not just broken, there is some there’s a pathway forward. There’s something that can be done to help. And, you know, there’s grief involved for a lot of people, and that’s so valid, but the relief is also so huge. Yeah, so how did you get into coaching? How in the world did you tell like your mom or your husband? Hey, I know I have a PhD. I know that I that I’ve been a college professor. I know that on the outside, you know, I’ve got this, like, perfect American life, but I’m gonna go be a life coach for people with ADHD, Cool, good, yeah, with you. Did it go like that?

Paula 13:25
Totally like that. And everyone was like that. Sounds like a really good idea, and well thought out. And it makes a lot of sense, totally. And here I am so for doing it, yeah, yeah, right. No, it was not that, you know what? My husband was all on board the whole time. He was really supportive of it, like, I was really lucky with that. He’s also an entrepreneur. So I think we kind of have that where we both kind of lean in to it and and support one another. But my colleagues, my father, like, real are you? Are you sure? Are you sure you don’t want to just try a different university or teach somewhere else? You know, it’s just a lot of, like, questioning, are really? And I’m like, yeah, really, I don’t want to do this. I never wanted to do this. I did this because my composition professor in undergrad said, change your major, which was music ed. No, it’s gonna be a band teacher. Change your major. You’re gonna be bored. And I was like, okay, so I went on to get my PhD. I like my word talk about self, trust and not like, really knowing what you need and what you want. Someone just told me to so I did. Oh,

Kristen Carder 14:45
that is so relatable. Do you regret not becoming a band teacher like, do you? Do you sometimes think about that because as a parent of a child who is obsessed with band and marching band and drumline and all those things band. And band teachers are awesome.

Paula 15:02
They are pretty awesome. I don’t regret it. I think the I think this whole journey, like going through my first degree in education and then into academia, I truly think it all kind of prepared me to get to do what I do here as a coach, because it helped me to become a strong teacher, to be a strong researcher, to learn how to put these things together and to teach them to an audience, you know, and to help in that way so I don’t regret it. Especially, I could never imagine trying to do all the band stuff during covid. I can’t even totally but, yeah, I think it all set me up. Set

Kristen Carder 15:51
me up. Amazing. Now I love that. So today there are two areas that I really want to highlight for my listeners, two areas that I’m, for sure not an expert in, that I would love to bring in your expertise. The first one is emails and email management, and please help me, because I am dying in the abyss of, you know, my inbox. And then the second is completely different, but just the use of chat GPT to support people with ADHD. So let’s talk about emails first this morning. And this is not just a bit for the pod. I swear to you, this morning, I found an email from someone that I am so embarrassed I did not respond to, and it was written on July 5, and that that was weeks ago, and I’m getting hot just remembering what it was like to find that email in my inbox and be like, Oh my gosh, I never responded to this. I am so embarrassed. I think that’s a very common experience, just for humans in general, but especially the ADHD population, who struggles with working memory and organization and prioritization and planning the sheer volume of emails that come into our inbox is so hard to manage and then finding the ones that can be saved for later and need to be responded to now and not overlooking things help help us. Paula, yeah,

Paula 17:27
so the first thing that I would say, and I don’t think we’ll probably get into this part, this is they can join focused if they want to get into this part. But first there’s going to be the the mind management and the around the anxiety and the overwhelm when we just think about the inbox, because that’s a whole thing. That is a whole thing that I think there can be a lot of coaching around and regulation, like regulating and all of that that can really help and to start though, maybe to even do, like a thought, download around. What do I think about my inbox? About answering emails, about reading the emails. Because what is really interesting I think about inbox management is that there’s a lot of different roles, because we have to read stuff, because we have emails that come in that are just informational. Maybe you could stuff about your your kids band performance, or when soccer practice is, or when you need to be at this thing. So we have to take in information and process it. Then we have emails that we need to act on, like my tax person might say, Hey, can you send me what your numbers? So you can, I can get your q4 whatever. And then there’s things that we need to, like, respond to. You know, maybe somebody emails you and writes a question, and you have to think through some sort of logical response. And sometimes people will send an email that’s like, oh, just real quick. Could you answer this? And it’s like, no, I can’t answer that real quick. That’s a 47 bullet point summation. No, no. And so to even clarify for your brain, first, what do I think about these three different types of roles? Is there one that feels more challenging for me? Which one has the most friction. For me, it’s always, it’s answering emails, it’s the ones that have these complex questions that come through and from there. I think what can be useful is to this is more tactical, but setting up in your inbox to not folders, but like tabs. You know how Gmail Can you have the tabs up at the top or whatever, when we can set up two separate tabs and you have to train your email provider or whatever for a little while, maybe a week or something, but you just drag everything that’s not an email that requires a response into the Information tab. Mm. Hmm, then you’re only focused on the stuff that needs responses, and you can set aside time on whenever you want to, to do the informational reading. So that way, the email from July 5 at least, wouldn’t be buried in sales from Nordstroms. And you know the whatever.

Kristen Carder 20:18
I’m so sad about that email. You brought it up again, and that’s fine, but my heart again, it like, sunk, yeah, yeah. Like, if I had had that front and center and I kept it unread, because that is my one thing, I’ll just mark it on red, and that ought to do it. But, like, no, that’s not enough. Yeah.

Paula 20:42
So the other one, the other strategy that, like, I might use in a situation like this, and for anybody who tends to go, oh yeah, market is unread. I am an unread marker too. That’s what I do. Is when we’re responding to emails starting from the bottom. A lot of us tend to start from the top down, but then we’re just firefighting on the top. And the people who emailed us from the bottom, who like got pushed down to the bottom, keep waiting and waiting and waiting. But if we make a practice of answering from the bottom up, you’re helping to ensure those ones that are important but maybe require a little bit more thoughtful response. Do get answered,

Kristen Carder 21:26
that’s huge. I’ve never heard anybody suggest that before, that if I had done that, my email from July 5 would not still be sitting there. That’s so true, because we are, just like you said firefighting at the top, just to kind of like putting out those fires, maybe daily or weekly, but never really getting to the things that we’ve like left unread but haven’t dealt with yet.

Paula 21:55
Yes, and especially because I am very much a mark as on redder with our type of memory, and we start to kind of just see past stuff the same way you put up a yellow sticky note. You don’t see that yellow sticky note. After a little while, we kind of stop seeing the unread email. We’re like, oh yeah, there’s a couple down there that I haven’t gotten to yet. I’ll get to them eventually. And so working from your way up can be useful, especially if you compare it with if you know you tend to get emails that require some response time, even if it’s once a week or something where you know you’re going to dedicate X amount of time to answer the long emails. And you start from the bottom and you work your way up. It’s so gross, like now I had to do that, right? It feels so gross. And I’m not saying you have to do it on Wednesday at 430 but maybe you have a checkbox somewhere, of like, did I do email for an hour this week? And if you did, you check it? If not, then by the end of the week, we want to make sure we get it in so that they get responded to or whatever.

Kristen Carder 23:00
Do you recommend that we spend some time like, unsubscribing from sales emails and like, like, what are? What are your thoughts about that? Yes,

Paula 23:08
yes. I am a huge supporter of unsubscribing as much as possible, and to do it regularly. It’s kind of like how we tend to think of decluttering is like a one and done thing. But that’s not how it is, because we bring new stuff into our house all the time, like, if you want to keep the same level of clutter, you have to kind of do a one in, one out type of thing. Yeah. And the same is true with with emails. Is we need to unsubscribe, declutter that inbox on a regular basis. Now, I’m not saying it doesn’t have like that. It has to be a consistent every Thursday, no. But you know, when you’re sitting in car line or something, and you’re waiting for the car line to start, unsubscribe, do a bunch of stuff, yeah, but I do think that’s huge. And to check in of why am I subscribed to this? Do I want to be No, when’s the last time I’ve read anything from here? Has it been more than a month? Probably we can unsubscribe.

Kristen Carder 24:08
Yeah. Do you find that people have FOMO when it comes to unsubscribing? Because I think that for the clients that I work with, and just from what I hear in the community, the reason why we don’t want unsubscribe is because we don’t want to miss out on anything.

Paula 24:23
For sure, I did. Like, yes, I can tell you, for me, I’m I’m like, Oh my gosh. But if I unsubscribe from this newsletter that I haven’t read for the last four months, I might miss one productivity tip or something, right that I have not heard of yet, or whatever. And so it’s true, it’s there. And what I tend to think about is flipping it of but what about the FOMO of everything I’m missing out on? Because this is just more visual clutter and tiny clutter and Stuff Clutter, and it’s like if I didn’t have to deal with that. I imagine the the brain space that opens up hundreds to manage it, you know? Yeah,

Kristen Carder 25:07
that’s not something that I even struggle with anymore. Like, even if I buy a product and they throw me on their email list, I immediately, I will unsubscribe from your list so fast, but you won’t even be able to like, count to 10. I see that email come in. I’m unsubscribed already. Like, yes, I liked your product. Thank you so much. I will find you when I need you, but you do not need to be in my inbox.

Paula 25:33
Yes, I will also say, this might just be a me thing, okay, this might just be a me thing, but I sometimes feel bad when I unsubscribe. Oh, you’re

Kristen Carder 25:43
so cute. Oh, my gosh. I with my personality. I do not resonate with that. I do not feel bad, but I get it. Yeah,

Paula 25:55
I’m like, Oh, I really do. Like, I value you. I think what you’re saying is important, but I just don’t have space, and I like feel bad about it, because that’s whatever. Okay. So if there’s anyone else like me who deals with that, I just want to offer what I remember is okay, but these people are they’re literally paying for me to be on their email list. And if I’m not reading this stuff, I’m going to save them money by unsubscribing it helps me feel a little less guilty about unsubscribing from an email that I’m not reading. So if anyone else can relate

Kristen Carder 26:29
totally those of you who are not entrepreneurs, you might not know that, like we entrepreneurs, pay our email service provider for the number of emails sent. So if you have 10,000 people on an email list but only 2000 are reading your email, you’re still paying for the other 8000 people that are on the list but not opening your emails. So yeah, that’s a really good point. I love that. Yeah, that is so funny, if you feel bad for unsubscribing so cute, and that therein lies the difference between you and me. I love it. Talk to me You mentioned at the beginning like the feelings around our inbox. And I do think that that is a huge and maybe the biggest component here. Can Can you just talk to me about that a little bit like, what do you see as the primary emotions that come up when it comes to email and inboxes and and how do you help your clients soothe those emotions?

Paula 27:32
Yeah, so the main emotions that I tend to see come up are overwhelm, then underneath, there’s an anxiety and or chain, those are tend to be the main thing. So first we have the overwhelm, because there’s so much, and the brain is literally like, oh my word. Where do I even start? I have no idea. And underneath that, there’s often, like, that kind of fear, anxiety, but what if I miss something? What if I? What if I? What if, like, the what if parade comes along, and then underneath that we have often, if you’re like me, shame of, oh my gosh, but I didn’t even this person. I told them, I get back to them, and I haven’t yet, and it’s been weeks, months, you know. And so I first like to start with the overwhelm piece, just to help people ground a little bit like we might just do a verbal processing, just get it all out, tell me all the things that feel really overwhelming. And we’re not judging it. We’re not it’s just like, of course, it feels overwhelming. There’s a lot of stuff here that makes sense. Let’s talk about it and get it all out. And if you’re doing, if you’re listening and you’re doing this on your own, you could grab a pen of paper, you could voice text yourself. You could talk to a friend about it. You could boxer yourself, you know, just get everything out. And then from there you can go, Okay, this is what we’re looking at now what matters. And usually something from that overwhelmed download will come to the foreground. Usually it’s some sort of anxiety or or fear or but I can’t, can’t keep on top of all of it. I’m still behind. We can miss these deadlines, and then we can help soothe that fear part of okay, that makes sense. We want to make sure that we get the things done. Let’s look at that. If we have all of these emails here, what are the ones that actually need responses this week? Let’s just start with this week and kind of pull out and then there’s maybe 10 or something. Of course, if you working your job is processing emails, you’re gonna have a lot more than 10, but generally, like, maybe there’s 10 that warrant a longer response. Okay? Anything else coming up? Usually there’s the well, this person’s been waiting. Since May, and I just keep putting it off and marking it on as unread, and I keep shame spiraling, okay? What do we want to do here? Right? And I often find one of the most powerful things we can do is to take that first step. Maybe you email them, and it’s not the whole answer. It’s I want to let you know I just got to this email, and I’m going to sit down and start responding, but I want you to know I saw it and it’s on my radar. Yep, right

Kristen Carder 30:31
now I’ve employed that tactic hundreds of times, yes,

Paula 30:34
yes, because it’s like, I see you, yeah, and I’m setting a deadline for myself, but let’s make sure it’s one that you can meet, not like set from shame of, Oh, I’ve just got to this. I’m going to get it to you in 30 minutes. No, give yourself a couple of days. Give yourself time. I’ll get this to you by the end of the week, if it’s a Tuesday, yeah, you know. And then have the space to write it and again, if you can body double with someone, if there’s a lot of activation around it, I know in focus, you have body double so people can pop in and, like, work together. That’s such a great space for that, or a friend or a colleague, or your whatever, having someone else body double with you can be really helpful, or like using something like chatgpt, speaking of that topic too, you can use that to help kickstart the ideas, you know, some words on paper, because often the blank page is the hardest part. It’s like, hey, now what like? What do I say after dear so and

Kristen Carder 31:40
so, you know, so true. Yeah, I think that when you’re looking at an email inbox of like, 200 or 2000 what, from my perspective, is the hardest part is like, how do I even know what the priorities are like, obviously, this is all late. Obviously, it’s all stuff I’m quote, unquote behind on, how do I even know where to start? How do you help your clients tap into their intuition and knowing where to start? What’s the process for that?

Paula 32:13
Yeah, so I think what can be really useful is to start with what do you know? So what do you know you have to get to this week, like when you look at just this first page? And I also, if it’s not work related, I know sometimes people just get flooded with with work emails and stuff, but if you have an inbox where you have 1000s of emails, can we archive everything from a month later. You know, like anything that’s not older than I’m saying that backwards, but you know what I’m saying, like anything older than a month, archive anything

Kristen Carder 32:51
older than a month. Obviously, I’m not curing brain cancer here with these emails. And we’re just gonna say bye, bye, bye. I’ll find you if I need you. Very much. Like unsubscribing, I will come to you, yes, if I need you, but like, until then you got to get out of here,

Paula 33:10
yes, 100% and then from there, and it might even be like two weeks, I don’t know. Depends on how many things you’re subscribed to, and all of that kind of stuff. But you know for sure, anything other than a month, archive it or put it in a folder. If your brain’s really uncomfortable with the archive, put it in, you know, up until July 30, anything up into your whatever. Love it, yeah. And then from there, what do you know you want to make sure you get to. So looking at this list, what do you know is for sure, priority. And priority can be a sticky word, but you know, what do you want to make sure you get back to? And then from there you can start building

Kristen Carder 33:53
I love that, because our brains know we just give them a tiny bit of space. Our brains do know what happens is we get stuck in the spin cycle, like, oh my gosh, there’s so much, it’s overwhelming. I don’t even know where to start. Oh my gosh, it’s so much, it’s overwhelming. I don’t know where to start. And we’re just like, spinning, spinning, spinning. But if we can stop, and if you can just pause and say, Okay, what do I know needs my attention immediately, you can make a list of five things, yep,

Paula 34:22
and I find too. If the decision is hard, I will even say so. I’m a person who I sometimes I’ll need someone to make a decision so that I can decide if that’s the right thing or not. So I’ll be like, where should I start? And arbitrarily, Ryan might be like, Well, why don’t you just respond to this? And I’m like, No, that’s not it. It’s this one, okay, well, that’s great. He’s like, okay, he doesn’t care. But to have someone say something so that you can react to it and notice in your body, oh yeah, that’s it, yep, that’s right. Or that’s not it at all. It’s clearly the second email, you

Kristen Carder 34:57
know. And that is a way of it. Employing self trust is asking for someone’s opinion and then testing with your body whether or not you agree with that opinion. So good. I love it. So you mentioned using chat GPT to help kind of kickstart an email help get it going. I am 43 years old, and that is not old by any means. However, chatgpt is not something that I have used. My team is now using it here and there, largely in part because of your influence. So thank you for that. And yeah, and I’m I’m curious, like, if someone is in my shoes where it’s just like, what is it? What are you even talking about? Can you give us an overview, and then, like, a little intro into how it might be helpful for somebody with ADHD?

Paula 35:55
Yeah, yeah, for sure. So what I will first say is AI, right? And there’s just been this huge explosion of AI stuff. And it can feel unnerving, a little bit uncomfortable, like, what is this? What are we doing? But the thing is, we’re interacting with it all the time. If you’ve chatted with Amazon’s bot, because you had to make a return to something you’re working with, AI, you know, if you are asking a question from the little question mark at the bottom of someone’s website, you’re chatting with AI, right? It happens all the time. Chatgpt is just like a website dedicated to having this kind of back and forth interaction, and chat has access to basically the internet. I like to think of it like a really robust library, and chatgpt is your librarian. So you go to the library and you’re like, hey, library, and really well, read librarian. I have this question, or I’m working on this. Can you help me find some resources? And it can, like, pull all of these different things together and help you sort through it. Now, not everything will be relevant, because you know your field better than the librarian does, but they know some stuff, and they can help you pull it together. And so for the people who haven’t been to chat, AI, it’s basically like a text message. It’s, you know, it’s just a blinking screen, and you send a message, and then it responds back to you, and it’s just like you’re chatting with somebody, like, if you ever chatted in the chat room when AOL was a thing or whatever, you know, it’s like you’re chatting back and forth, yeah. And so there are so many different ways that you can start using chatgpt, and one of the things that I especially love it for is helping get started on things when I’m facing a blank slate. Because for me, that’s a really hard thing to process words in my mind into paper and have them actually make sense from for me personally, takes a lot of battery, takes a lot of my executive function, and so, for example, let’s say I have an email in my inbox that I just keep marking us on red, and get to it and I’m like, I can’t mark us on red, but like, next week or whatever, What I will do is I will go to chat GPT, and I may even copy and paste, without any personal information, just like the message, into chat, and I will say, I want to say something like this. I can’t do it right now. It sounds like a great opportunity. Can you follow up and please write this in a friendly tone, and it will write back to that person in a friendly tone those three points, and it will have connecting sentences and commoditization, That’s not weird, and you know that kind of thing. So that you can then go in and go, I don’t talk like that. And you can change some words, but you’re not starting from scratch. Love

Kristen Carder 39:02
I love it so much so all the ADHD or needs is to have a general idea of what they’re looking for, and then you can utilize chat GPT as a tool to synthesize, to kind of categorize, to even maybe prioritize, and make it sound like a human being has written it, and not like a seven year old who’s like struggling in school. Because sometimes when I’m looking at an email and I’m wanting to respond, I feel like that seven year olds, where I’m just like, I don’t really know, and like, I want to respond, but I have all this emotion about responding. I have the shame of, you know, not getting to it in time. And I have the anxiety of, like, the deadline, and so to just be able to say to someone like, Hey, can you respond to this and say these three things? The friendly town,

Paula 40:01
gosh, yes, and especially going all the way back to academia. I wish I had this because not for my research, but for responding to emails I would always take on the apologetic I must be the wrong one. I, you know, and defer to everybody else. And it would be so helpful to be able to say, I would like to respond to this with confidence and kindness, because mine always had 47 different stories in it, and like apologies and whatever and exclamation points, because that’s what I did and and to be able to shift that into a more professional tone of how I want to be conveying my information would have been such a gift, you know, at that time, wow, yeah,

Kristen Carder 40:53
I love that you’re saying. It can even help to change a tone from like apologetic to professional. So maybe you know exactly what you want to say, but then you notice that you have a lot of apologies. And this is probably like mostly females that are going to be struggling with this, but maybe not, and just being able to say to chat, GBT, like, take out the apologies. Make it sound respectful, but clear and assertive. Mm, hmm. Yeah. The ways that you use chat GBT in your business or in your life, you know, on a daily or weekly basis? Yeah.

Paula 41:30
So I definitely use it for emails, like to respond to things in that kind of area. Can

Kristen Carder 41:38
you tell me how so do you do you put in the original email and then say how you want to respond. Is that, like, kind of just what you’ve already told us? Yeah, yep. So

Paula 41:48
somebody might email, or whatever, or, you know, people, which I love, like, they’ll email and talk about an episode that they hear and, like the different things, and then they’d have questions about it. And so I can even drop my entire podcast transcripts in chat GPT, drop the email into chat GPT, say, these are the things I want to say, Please pull from the transcript and put it in my voice, because it can pull from the transcript what my voice is and put together a version of an email which I Still want to clean up, but

Kristen Carder 42:20
that’s like, magical, right? Because it’s

Paula 42:23
all my words. It’s literally my work. Yeah, it’s not like, I’m, you know, having chat, make up stuff. It’s like, No, this is literally from my transcript. It’s literally a response from what I want to say. And it’s doing the heavy lifting of my brain, having to put the thing, the words in order. So that’s a huge, a huge one for me, I also love it for mapping out projects. So for any, even if you’re not an entrepreneur, for me, I like to use it for launches, to help me break down the steps and see what’s going on and when they need to be done. But for anybody with any type of project or presentation. You might say, I need to give a presentation on this date. I need slides. I need this and that help me break down the process over the next three weeks. I’d like to front load it so it’s not as heavy on the back end, right? And they can chat. Can help you to really break down. You’re

Kristen Carder 43:21
not saying complete the project. You’re saying plan how you’re going to do the project,

Paula 43:27
right? Because that’s usually what stops us, yeah, right, because we don’t have that on ramp. If I’m like, Okay, I need to create a presentation. What I can’t right? Just make a presentation on Tuesday. What does that mean? But if I put it into chat, chat goes, Okay, well, we better start with some research. Let’s take 30 minutes and do some research on these topics. Okay, got it no and it can really help you to break down that process.

Kristen Carder 43:55
Wow. So you use it for responding to emails and you use it for creating processes. Yes,

Paula 44:07
right? Yeah, processes, workflows. Oh, here’s another one. Speaking of workflow, actually, what I will do when I’m if I’m training someone on or I’m creating a tutorial or something, or if you’re teaching a class, you can literally pull the transcript from zoom or whatever, put it into chat GPT, and have it outline main points, outline ideas, outline the step by step of that tutorial, so that then you have a written workflow for your team and the loom video or whatever for your team. So it can for different learning styles. You have the visual and the written.

Kristen Carder 44:50
That’s amazing. Yeah, the way that my team has implemented it mostly is with show notes for the podcast, and that. Has been great because, again, it’s it is not making up ideas. It is taking the words that I’ve said or the show notes for the podcast that you’re listening to right now, if you go and check it and you multitask while you’re listening, those have been generated by AI, and what I know my executive assistant does is she pops the transcript into whatever program it is that she’s using and gives it prompts. And she’s had to really play with it like, you know, write in this tone and break up the main points. And we only want it this long, you know, so you do have to kind of teach it like you’ve already said. But once that happens, there is very little editing that we have to do regarding these show notes. And it might seem simple, but you know, once you’ve already created a podcast, you’ll have to go back then and write show notes. I just I could cry just thinking about it. It’s so hard. And or we’ve paid people who have been wonderful to create show notes, but then we’re having to pay them to listen to the podcast and to write the show notes. And so this is just like you drop it in there, you tell it what you want. It creates something that’s pretty darn good, and there’s not much editing that needs to happen, and then, boom, you have what you need.

Paula 46:21
Yeah, yeah, it’s, it’s so helpful. And to your point, there’s ways you can really help teach chat, you know your your voice and whatever like I have dropped in a handful of different podcast transcripts, and I will say, Read these transcripts and learn, and then describe the tone, voice, style, approach, and write it out in like a clear form. And then, if I want to write a response to an email, I will say, here is my and I copy that like in my apple notes or whatever, course, and it’s, you know, friendly, informative, you know, succinct, whatever. And I put that in and I say, right in this style, this is my tone.

Kristen Carder 47:07
Dang, I love it, yeah, yeah. That is so brilliant. What do you see for the future of people with ADHD, as you know, AI, chat, GPT, all of this is kind of like at our fingertips. Now, what are your hopes and dreams for you know, professional or not even professional, just like ADHD adults, what do you see the next 510, years looking like for us?

Paula 47:35
I mean, I think that it could really be an excellent support that scaffolding of our executive function, with the planning, prioritization, time management, that kind of thing. I remember one time just a couple of weeks ago, I had written down a schedule, and I was thinking, this seems a little bit ambitious. Paula, this seems like a lot for a Tuesday. And I dropped it in chat, and it responded with, yes, I agree. This does seem quite ambitious. I would put it over four days, and I was like, oh, okay, there we go. Guess I was a little off on that one, because I was doing something new, you know. So I just never have any idea. And and then, to your point, I think both professionally and personally, I use chatgpt Personally, meal prepping, meal planning, create a meal plan. These are some things I have on hand. Make it dairy free, whatever it will map out stuff. You know, in so many ways, yeah, there’s a lot of what I would tell everybody think through your life, where’s the friction? That’s one of my favorite questions. Where’s the friction? Where do things feel hard and then go, if I could just make this easy, if I could just and then fill in that, right? Like, if somebody could just tell me what to make, then go to chat GPT and see if you can do that. Can you just tell me what to make? I have a can of beans and I have some chicken, and I don’t want to cook any longer than 15 minutes, and it will be like what it’ll say so nicely. Well, yes, you could make it delicious. Blah, blah, blah. It’s all really supportive and stuff.

Kristen Carder 49:16
Is it kind of like the BFF that we always have needed by our side. I

Paula 49:21
mean, I think it can be and needs a little training sometimes, sure, sometimes it’s like, yes, you can do this in 15 minutes. And it can’t, yeah, yeah, when you’re doing something like chicken or whatever, you know, whatever, of course. But yeah, I do think it is just this wonderful support and that you can keep iterating with it. And you know, you’re not actually driving anyone crazy, because it’s just AI, right? Like, but could you reread this? Could you read this? Do you see anything here? What about this? You know, and you can keep iterating. That’s another thing. Is, if people tend. To overlook the details in emails or something, right? You could pop in whatever you have written. Maybe you have a harder time with the perfectionism side. On the other part, like you can get started, no problem. Because some of us were like, Oh yeah, I just get started. I write stuff, but then I miss the commas and the periods and the spelling. Throw it in and go, Hey, could you edit? Could you act as a copywriter and edit this for you know me to send out, and it can go through and edit the things so, yeah, it can incredible support where you need it.

Kristen Carder 50:31
You have an episode specifically on this topic in the show notes, so people can go and hear more about it. Because I think that’s just, it’s so important that you know, you’re even just opening up my eyes to like, how much I could utilize it in my own life. And I think the more that we offer just this free support to people with ADHD like, the better. Like, we should all be taking advantage of this to a certain extent. Yeah,

Paula 50:59
yeah. I for sure, and I do have as well in that episode, it’s like a guide that provides literal prompts that people can copy and paste into chat. You don’t have to do anything but copy and paste nice around prioritization and time management and productivity and meals and schedules. So yeah, it could be a great place to start. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, if you’re like, oh my gosh, but it’s weird, and I don’t do tech, this is a great place to start. Yeah, that’s

Kristen Carder 51:30
awesome. Thank you so much. So if people need more of you, which I think they do, how can we find you? How can we work with you? Tell me all of the things. Yeah, so

Paula 51:40
if you want to check out the podcast, it’s called, I’m busy being awesome. My website is, I’m busy being awesome.com. I also work with people both one on one and in small groups. My small group program is called, we’re busy being awesome. And then one on one is, yeah, just regular one on one coaching. But yeah, all of that is on my website. I’m busy beingwesome.com

Kristen Carder 52:03
I love it. And one of the things that I forgot to say is you have been coaching in my focus program for years. You are you have two calls a month that you do, and we are obsessed with you the whole community. We love you, and I’m leaving it to you in my will, so I hope you don’t mind. Oh, my God,

Paula 52:26
I love being if I go first,

Kristen Carder 52:28
it’s yours

Paula 52:30
focus. Just so fun, such a fun place to be. So incredible, such a incredible group of humans in there. So special. Yeah,

Kristen Carder 52:39
yeah. Thanks for being here, honey. Really appreciate it. Thanks

Paula 52:42
for having me.

Kristen Carder 52:44
If you’re being treated for your ADHD, but you still don’t feel like you’re reaching your potential, you’ve got to join focused. It’s my monthly coaching membership where I teach you how to tame your wild thoughts and create the life that you’ve always wanted, no matter what season of life you’re in or where you are in the world. Focused is for you. All materials and call recordings are stored in the site for you to access at your convenience. Go to Ihaveadhd.com/focused for all the info you.