Podcast Episode #31: ADHD + Autism Spectrum Disorder with Laura Brooke

This episode is sponsored by CURE Hydration. All right, I’m going to be real with you. Drinking water is boring. My ADHD brain is like, wait, we have to do this again? Like every day, multiple times. What in the world? And because I’m running from meetings to coaching calls to kid chaos, staying hydrated is not something I’m naturally good at. It’s not something I naturally think about. That’s why I’ve been obsessed with Cure hydration packs lately. Cure is a plant based hydrating electrolyte mix with no added sugar, only 25 calories, and it actually tastes good. The watermelon and berry pomegranate have been on repeat for me. I’m actually like really running low on those flavors, which is so sad. They’re refreshing without being too sweet or artificial. It feels like my water finally has a little bit of personality, which I enjoy. I really do. What I love most is that CURE uses a science backed formula that hydrates as effectively as an IV drip. So when I’m scrambling through my day forgetting my water again, CURE helps me to catch up fast. I throw a few packs in my bag and it makes drinking enough water simple, which for my ADHD brain is basically a miracle. So staying hydrated isn’t just about water. You also need electrolytes. And that’s why I love Cure. It’s clean, tastes great, and it actually works. And bonus, CURE is FSA HSA approved. So you can use those funds to stay hydrated. The smart way For I have ADHD podcast listeners, you can get 20% off your first order@curehydration.com IhaveADHD with the code IHAVEADHD and if you get a post purchase survey, make sure to tell them that you heard about CURE right here on the podcast. It really does help to support the show. Don’t just drink more water, also upgrade it with cure. Welcome to the I have ADHD Podcast where it’s all about education, encouragement and coaching for adults with adhd. I’m your host Kristen Carter and I have adhd. Let’s chat about the frustrations, humor and challenges of adulting relationships, working and achieving with this neurodevelopmental disorder. I’ll help you understand your unique brain, unlock your potential and move from point A to point B. Hey, what’s up? You are listening to The I have ADHD podcast episode number 31. My name is Kristen Carter and I am your host. I am medicated, I am caffeinated and I am ready to roll. I am also 100% hungover from Halloween. And by hungover, I mean completely exhausted. Mothers with ADHD should never have to take their kids trick or treating. Okay, can we just make that rule in the world that mothers and fathers with ADHD should not have to take their kids trick or treating? Too much. Too much organization, prep time, getting everyone ready, managing the feelings, the stimulation of, like, having to go around the neighborhood and all of the people and the interactions and then coming home and the candy everywhere and then all of, like the sugar high that everyone is on and trying to get people to bed. I am telling you, it has taken me forever to recover and I don’t know that I’m still. I don’t know that I’m there. I don’t know that I’m at the recovery point yet. My theory is that you either thrive, you’re a Halloween thriver, or you’re a Halloween survivor. And I am 100% just a Halloween survivor. I did it. Everyone is still alive. My kids had a good experience and now I don’t have to do it for 363 more days. And I am very, very happy about that. So if that’s something that you also hate, it doesn’t make you a bad parent. It just makes you a parent with adhd. And that’s okay, friend. We can hate Halloween and still be good people. We can still do it for the kids, of course, because we love them. But oh my word, I hate it so much. I want to tell you that your ratings and reviews are giving me life. I mean that so sincerely. I am honored to have such nice things said about me and this podcast. Thank you so much. I read every single one of them and I’m telling you the truth, when I say that I read them over and over and over, they do something to my soul. They are just like a testament to the fact that I’m on the right track, that I’m providing content that you enjoy, that you find valuable. And I just want to say thank you so much to those of you who’ve taken the time to write me a little shout out love letter thank you note. I see you, I see your note. It gives me life and joy and I appreciate it so much. So today on the podcast, my friend Laura is back and I am super pumped about it. You will remember her from episodes 17 and 18. She’s a professional organizer who was diagnosed with ADHD when she was a child. Now, Laura recently received an autism spectrum disorder diagnosis as well. And the reason why I wanted to have her come on the podcast and share with all of you about her recent diagnosis is that there is a lot of overlap between the symptoms of ADHD and the symptoms of Autism Spectrum disorder, which we’re going to call asd. So just like there’s a lot of adults being diagnosed with ADHD as the medical community and researchers and everyone is learning more about what it looks like in adults, the same applies to asd. There are a lot of adults right now being diagnosed with asd. I was honestly shocked when Laura began talking to me about ASD and expressing that she suspected that she was autistic, because while I’ve only known her for about nine months, I’ve never once thought that she presented with symptoms of autism. Obviously, I’m not an expert, but I do work with neurodivergent kids and teens, and so I am around people on the autism spectrum, maybe more than the average Joe. And it was really shocking to me when Laura started expressing, hey, I think that this applies to me. So I, I needed to be educated. And when Lara shared the symptoms of ASD with me, especially how it presents in adult women, it was extremely eye opening. So I wanted to share that with the whole world because there are some of you out there who are diagnosed with adhd, but you feel like there’s just something more going on. You identify as adhd, but you don’t feel like that is the whole picture. And so this effort episode is for you. I also want to let you know that Laura has compiled a bunch of different resources for you if you are interested in learning more, including resources on the overlap of ADHD and asd. So if that is of interest to you, I want you to go to my website, ihaveadhd.com ASD. Remember, ASD stands for Autism Spectrum Disorder. So go to ihaveadhd.com to grab those resources. And now here’s my conversation with our old pal, Laura Brook. Hi, Laura. Thank you for joining me today. I appreciate it so much. Hey, thanks for having me again. Again, I’m so glad to have you back. And a lot has changed since you’ve been here. Yes, way too much. So much has changed. So I wanted to have you on because you and I have been talking over the last couple months about all of the transition that you have been, not just with yourself, but with your family. And I thought it would be really amazing for my audience to get some info and some updates from you. So can you give us some idea of what’s going on? So I have, over the years, I remember on the last podcast, I had mentioned that I felt like I had the worst ADHD ever, which I have said multiple times my whole life. And in May, my son had some issues at school. I just noticed some things going on with him and I always felt like his school just never really had his back kind of thing. And I had him tested and he was actually diagnosed with. On top of his adhd, he was diagnosed with autism Spectrum disorder and. As well as developmental coordination disorder, which is. I don’t even fully understand that one yet. There’s so much. But after his diagnosis, I was just in that zone like, okay, I’m going to be. I’m an autism mom now. I’m going to be a good one and do my research and figure it all out and figure out how to properly support him. And I was one day in a Facebook group for. For people who just had children diagnosed. And it’s actually autistic adults that are welcoming of, like, questions and things like that. A really cool group. And this one girl threw out this test and she’s like, what do I do? I just took this test. My son was diagnosed and I scored really high. And without even thinking, I just opened it. You know, as we do impulses, we just like, don’t even think about something and just open it and take the test. And it’s called the Autism Spectrum Quotient test, which is an actual diagnostic test that doctors give adults. It’s like a self report type test. And I took it and I scored a 40 out of 50. And I was like, whoa. Well, first, the first thing I did was I researched what kind of BS this test is. And I was like, no, it can’t be right. And then I look at, I’m like, okay, so this is like a real self report test that’s used for the DSM and the icd. So I was like, okay. And then I had my husband take the test and he’s very neurotypical. So I was like, if he scores high, we know something’s wrong with the test. He scored very low. He got like 13. And then. So I had to keep going. And I had my mom and my sister take the test and they’re both very neurotypical, like no executive dysfunctioning or anything. And they scored like, my mom literally scored a zero and my sister scored like a nine. And I was like, okay, what does this mean? So I went back to the group too, and I was like, I just scored a 50. What does this mean? And someone said, well, why don’t you Research female autistic traits and see what resonates with you and go from there. So that’s what I did. And when I tell you my whole world turned upside down, like, it was adhd, never fully was everything. Like, I definitely resonate with a lot of ADHD symptoms, but I always felt like there was possibly something more. And this was the first time where I read down, like, a list of traits, and I had, like, almost every single one, and it was crazy. And I was like, I’m autistic. Like, what does that mean? Do I even. I remember thinking, like, do I even have adhd? Like, have I spent my whole life? Am I misdiagnosed? Now I know I’m. I’m comorbid. ADHD and autism, I definitely see. Still am adhd. But the crazy thing is there is so many women right now who thought they just had adhd, and their kids are being diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder, and they are getting diagnosed with their kids like me in their 30s, 40s, and this is happening all over the place. That is fascinating. Thank you so much for sharing that. Yes. With the world. Here it is. Crazy. Exclusive for you, Kristin. I get an exclusive. That is so, first of all, like, I’ve seen you kind of go through this progression, and I feel like you’re coming out the other side, really owning your identity and who you are. And I just am really excited to kind of see that unfold as you kind of develop that more and more. Oh, thank you. Yeah. And. And I have relied on you heavily to code dump and, like, share all of my, like, oh, my goodness, what’s happening? You know, so. And you’ve been such a great help to me, so thank you. It’s been a privilege. So when you reach out for your diagnosis, first of all, how did. How did that process even work for you? So I wasn’t sure what I was going to do at first. I was very. So when you go online and you research stuff like this, you really only hear horror stories. And I heard of, like, all these women who, similar with adhd, you know, they’re going to get diagnostics done and the doctors are kind of, you know, what’s the word? Like, now it’s probably this or misdiagnosis or just especially women with adhd. I’ve heard a lot that the doctors are like, no, it’s just adhd, you know, So I wanted to be very firm in what I thought and how I was going to approach it. And I did not decide to get officially diagnosed until I was Fully self diagnosed myself. Oh, wow. So after. But that happened very quickly because that’s who I am. But I. I would say so. My son was diagnosed May 23rd, and I was officially diagnosed by July 1st of this year. Wow. Yeah. So I know very fast. I’m very lucky to live in Philadelphia where there’s plenty of, you know, the top specialists and pretty much anything in the world. A lot of people don’t have that luxury. And then also our major medical network in Philadelphia has an adult autism specialist program, which there’s only like a couple in the world, so that’s amazing. Very, very lucky with that. And most adults have to get diagnosed through someone who’s only studied autism in children, which makes it very difficult. Wow. Yeah. So does it look different? How different does it look in adults than in children? Like, very different. Completely different. And here’s why. So similar to adhd, when you are taught as a kid that, like, something you do is annoying, like fidgeting and things like that, when it’s something that’s even more extreme, it’s even more shameful. You know, when your parents or teachers or people in your life as you’re developing are telling you, like, don’t do that. Like, why do you do that? Um, yeah. And I think as a kid, your natural reaction is to what is called autistic masking, and it’s where you, like, hide things. But since most autistic people have processing issues, they really don’t even know they’re masking. And I just, at now 35 or I was 34 when I was diagnosed, just found out that I had been masking a lot of things for a long time. So it’s like one of those things where you’re struggling with something and you don’t even know why. And ADHD did make sense in a lot of ways for me, but I had that gut feeling that there was more. I’ve talked to many doctors. I’ve talked to family doctors, I’ve talked to therapists. I’ve talked to psychiatrists and said, I feel like there’s just something more than adhd. And they’ve always kind of brushed me off because I didn’t know what to say. Like, when they’re like, well, why do you think that? I’m like, I don’t know, I just, like, feel like it’s just not right. And then we just never really explored it because they probably were just like, huh, I don’t know, maybe you’re just anxious. I heard that all the time. Like, oh, ADHD brings a lot of anxiety, and if you’re thinking about something being wrong all the time, it’s probably that. So I just think that, you know, I didn’t even understand my struggles until they were hitting me in the face. Quite literally. Quite literally, yes. So when you say that a lot of adults with autism have been masking, and I think, you know, people with ADHD can do this too. But can you give us an example or a couple examples of what that would look like? Sure. So masking. So everyone puts on a mask in some way. Like you have like a workplace Persona or, you know, I think if, you know it’s a problem if you are a little different with every single person, you know, like, that’s kind of a deeper mask. Like, there’s definitely nothing wrong with putting on a professional face at work and kind of like putting your best face forward. But when it goes so far that it’s damaging in some way or you’re really hiding things out of anxiety, like, can I be this way with this person? Or you notice you have like a different mask for like a different group of friends or people, I would say that is more something to be mindful of. And it can be a little more damaging because you’re like, that’s very exhausting. Like, it’s. You don’t even know you’re doing it, but it’s so exhausting. And I do think people with ADHD do that to a certain extent, but I wouldn’t say to the extent where they are completely covering it all up. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. Yeah. You said something that I thought was really interesting. What? Just while we were chatting before we started recording, is that you. You never felt like ADHD was like the full picture, which you already said. And then you asked me, like, do you. And I really do. So. So I think that in itself is enough to say, like, huh, There could be more going on. Right, Right. Yeah, definitely. And I think it’s hard. Well, it’s so hard because especially in women, women with just ADHD are misdiagnosed. But women with all anything, mental disorders, mood disorders, developmental disorders, any neurotype, women are being misdiagnosed. And it’s just even more confusing. And we need to also ask why. Yeah. Oh, I don’t know. There’s a lot of. I’ve looked into it. There’s a lot of studies coming out, and it’s not just male doctors misdiagnosing women, it’s female doctors as well. So I think we could kind of look more at the system and how training is done in school for that. I don’t, I haven’t been through medical training, so I don’t know how things are being taught. I think a major thing is that women are. And I don’t want to say like it’s a system designed to hurt women. I don’t want to, I don’t want to like put that intention out there. I think it’s more the fact that in general women don’t want to participate in studies or they’re a little less likely for some reason, moms are more likely to invite their sons to be involved in studies more than daughters. I don’t necessarily think it’s like a system designed against us. I think it might be a little bit of like just natural tendencies of people, things like that. And maybe there are some people who misdiagnosed women due to like, you know, oh, she’s just dramatic or things like that. You know, like that’s definitely happening. I don’t think that’s happening, you know, across the board, but I think it has, It’s a lot of things, honestly. That’s so frustrating. It is. It just adds another layer to it. And I know there’s tons of late diagnosis ADHD females out there because they were passed up in childhood, because they weren’t the hyperboy that was, you know, getting out of a seat in school and they didn’t look like that. They were more daydreamers and lost in their thoughts and things like that. And autism is the same where you have this picture of a boy. And so in ADHD too, I want to point out it’s medically accepted that men and women have the same rate of adhd. And then autism, it is still medically believed to mostly be a boys disorder. So even though there’s no medical basis for that at all and it’s still talked about in the medical community and it’s very frustrating. And I just want to point out that my 2 year old daughter was just diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder as well. So, you know, it’s. I don’t believe that for a minute. I think that autism just looks so different in girls than boys and women and women look even different than girls. You know, it’s one of those things when you’re masking for a certain amount of time, if something starts making sense, you go to a doctor, say like you’ve never realized that you didn’t make eye contact or something, but it’s something that you’ve masked for so long. You know, if you go to a medical situation, you might, like, be masking and not even realize it. And the doctor who is looking for certain things isn’t seeing it, but you’ve already been a pro at covering them up, so it’s very hard. Am I blowing your mind right now? Seriously, no words. I know. Okay. It’s so tough. And I just. I have so much, like, empathy and heart for that, because as someone diagnosed. I mean, I was diagnosed at 21 with ADHD, and I really didn’t come into that diagnosis and, like, really identify with it until a late diagnosis. It’s still pretty late. Yeah. But I think to then get another diagnosis where you’re like, and we’re starting over, like, we’re going to process this again. Like, that’s a lot. It’s a lot. It was really hard. And I remember at first, I was like, are you kidding me? I just. I mean, on the podcast that we recorded, what, nine months ago, I was like, I just now feel like I’ve grown up and come into. You know, And I was like, the first. Literally, when I was diagnosed, the first thing I thought about is I just went on that podcast. I love it. Acting like I had it all together. That was my first thought. I love it. But I think you were super real. I was. I really was. Yeah. And that’s the thing. Isn’t it so crazy how this is, like, so coachy of me, but, like, I just love how we continue to evolve, like, the more we learn. And, like, that was the real you nine months ago. And, like, here’s another version of the real you today, and that’s so fun. So can you tell us. I know you don’t really want to be too specific with symptoms, and you can kind of explain that, but can you give us some. Maybe some key differences between ADHD and autism spectrum disorder? Right. It’s really hard because everything overlaps. And I think that’s why it was so hard for me growing up, or as I. I mean, particularly, I really struggled with transition to adulthood. That was my major struggle. And that’s when I really needed the most support, but didn’t know it, didn’t know how to ask for it. I didn’t. You know, you have these struggles, and you’re like, why is this hard for me? And I would say that if you are someone, this is hard, but struggling with certain social cues. I know ADHD people sometimes have social issues. I would say if you go a little farther and you kind of feel like people are always against you, or no one ever Understands you or you feel like just always an outsider. Like, even with the ADHD community, that is definitely something to start looking a little more into. Why? Because that is not necessarily an ADHD trait. There are. Everyone with ADHD is different, has a different personality, but there is no ADHD trait that is going to keep you from being a social person reading the people around you. And. And Autism Spectrum disorder is also very complicated, unfortunately, even more complicated than ADHD in a lot of ways. Even though ADHD is complicated, because every person with Autism Spectrum disorder is totally different. There are people with autism who don’t struggle as much socially, so you might never even know it. And then there’s people that struggle very, very hard. I’m a little in the middle. I definitely struggle more than someone with ad, but I didn’t know it until more recently. I also grew up in a very. I hope my mom doesn’t listen to this, but a pretty negative household. So I always kind of attributed my negativity to how I was raised instead of, you know, a developmental issue. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. So it was always something I was trying to work on and change my mentality on, and it was something that was very hard. Like, I always questioned social interactions and be like, is that what they meant? Like, I remember, like, looking back, it’s like, how did I not know? Because there’s so many things, but all of them overlap a little with adhd. So it’s really hard. But I want to point out some. Some myths and fallacies for your listeners of autism. Perfect. There is. So the understanding of autism is flapping. Like stimming is a common thing. So there’s flapping, jumping up and down in a repetitive motion, which you see a lot. There is toe walking or running back and forth in a. In a repetitive way, which is hard if you haven’t been medically trained. But it makes sense to me. Now that I have, I understand it a little better. There is, you know, a declined lack of eye contact, which is, if you’re not medically trained, is very hard to spot because I was told that I am not good at that. And that’s something that I never knew. And no one has ever told me that I’m bad at that. But I’m a little. Now that I’ve taken the mask off, I am a little worse than I used to be. I guess it was something that I focused on and I didn’t even know. Wow. But the truth is that I fully believe I started masking before I could ever Remember, I knew I was smart enough to know I was supposed to be a certain way, but I didn’t know why. So it was always like, let’s just do this. This is what makes people happy. And autistic people, as well as adhd, ADHD diagnosed people are people pleasers. Because I don’t want to say that we have deficiencies. I don’t think that is. But I think as a kid, you feel like you have deficiencies, so it’s natural to want to fix them or make the people around you happy. Especially as a kid, when you’re developing. Like, kids really look to their parents and teachers to how they’re supposed to be. And when you have a childhood where you feel like you’re definitely not measuring up to that, you’re gonna cover it up, you know, so eye contact, toe walking, flapping, things like that. You can 100% be autistic and never have done any of those. Wow. But that’s what typically shows up in specifically white boys when they’re younger, and those are the majority of the kids who have been studied. So that’s what you think of when you hear autism. There’s also a misconception in the autism world and in the world altogether about autism. And autism is not an intellectual disability in and of itself. It has nothing to do with intelligence. You know, Rain man came out and they thought everyone with autism must be a genius. But autism is not an indicator for anyone of intellectual ability or disability. A lot of the time, it’s comorbid issues. So when you get a diagnosis for autism spectrum disorder, or if your kid ever does or anything like that, it normally is given with or without intellectual disability. And most people think of what autism looks like with the intellectual disability because they need more support. You know, intellectual disabilities are a little more physical, so you can, like, see it. And if you have adhd, you know that people are very worried about what they can see. And if you try really hard at work to not show your adhd, most people are not going to believe you. And autism is the same way. Yeah. Yep. So there’s. There’s a lot of misconceptions. There is. It’s just tough. But specifically females. So I found the biggest thing that blew my mind with. I told. I talked about stimming. So stimming is something that really. Some of the things definitely I think ADHD people do, but it’s coming from a fidgety place. It’s not coming from a stim place. Interesting, right? So. So stimming is Doing things in an anxious way. But it can either make people happier. So, like, if sometimes the hand flapping for a kid is releasing tension for them and that’s why they do it, sometimes they are doing it almost like a communication way. It’s an indicator of stress. So it’s hard to really know. You have to, like, get to know the person. But I found out in specifically females, twirling your hair is a stimulus. And I did that my whole life. But you have to remember that sometimes that’s like just like a fidgety, nervous energy. I know a lot of women with ADHD twirl their hair. I mean, a lot of people twirl their hair. But it’s something that I did in stressful situations my whole life. So I always, the second I read that was like, oh, my goodness, that’s what that was. And I remember I did it so much that one time I cut my hair short in high school and. And I walked into, my teacher said, what are you going to do in my class all day? So it was like something that I did so much that, like, people noticed biting your nails also, but not just biting your nails, biting the skin around your nails as a stim. In a lot of cases, there’s all different things. I mean, looks very different to person to person. And just because you do a stim doesn’t mean that you necessarily. I mean, I would say if you flap, you’ve probably already been flagged. So unfortunately, that’s what everyone knows. Yeah, but yeah, there’s like less common stimming that no one talks about. But even more so, women are passed up because we are socially more interested in engaging and feel like. I think girls are taught, you know, there’s a certain way that you have to be. So it’s like almost like a cultural thing as well. That makes us a little more easy to be passed up because girl, like, boys are just. It’s okay to be a boy when you’re younger. And girls are more socially pressured to be a certain way. Like, I was definitely a tomboy. That’s a huge thing. A lot of autistic girls report being tomboys growing up. For me now it really makes sense. And the reason I was a tomboy, I think, is because I wasn’t good at pretend play. And that’s what the girls wanted to do. They wanted to. And that’s another symptom of autism spectrum disorder. They wanted to play house. That’s something I did not get. I was like, I’d rather run around and Play sports with the boys. But also, boys are just naturally more straightforward. It’s just jokes, and it’s light. I have no social questions, like, what did that mean? And as I grew up now I definitely want more female friends, but growing up, I wanted more guy friends, but I think that was because I felt like I understood them better and it was due to social cue issues, which I never even knew I had. And. Yeah. Like, just all these crazy, crazy, enlightening things that. That makes sense now. But at the time, I mean, who knew? No one. Right. Right. Yeah. So I want to know, since you don’t present with the typical, like, flags of autism. Right. And the people close to you had no idea. Friends had no idea. What are people like now? Yeah. Saying, hey, by the way, like, I also have this autism spectrum disorder diagnosis. Yeah. So this is so complicated because I think just the general world doesn’t really know much about it. So my. The general reaction for the very few people that I’ve told is like, oh, crickets. That’s it. That’s it. And then my mom and sister, like, I told you, like, I made them take that test, and they were kind of, like, aware of it the whole time, but they don’t really talk about it much. I’m still me, you know, they’ve known me forever. I’m in my 30s, so it’s like, I guess not the biggest deal, but they’re like, every now and then, they’re like, how are you with the autism? You know? And I’m like, I’m okay. But then since, like, you know, my son was diagnosed, and then my daughter. Now, she was just diagnosed, like, three weeks ago. Yeah. So I think, like, they’re just kind of like. We talk a little more about them than me, which is fine. I’d rather. Rather talk about them than me, anyway. Yeah. But I think. Yeah, I don’t. I think people don’t know how to respond. I think they’re. I think they’re almost like people are scared to ask questions like, are you okay? And things like that. They don’t know, like, what’s appropriate because it’s so. It’s so misunderstood. So. So it’s been very awkward. And I have not come out fully publicly yet with the diagnosis because with it comes so much education. Right. It’s very stressful, and I don’t want to educate everybody, nor do. I’m like, you don’t even deserve an education. So I’m still figuring out how and when to just kind of throw it out there. I’LL probably just do it on Facebook. I don’t even care. Yeah. I don’t know what is, like, the right response, do you think? I think it would depend on the person or the way someone tells you. I think in general, I think it’s okay to ask questions, but maybe ask and maybe just be honest. Like, honestly, I don’t know much about it. Like, can you explain it to me? Or so good. You know, I think coming to someone and allowing them to say, speak their. The narrative that they’re living instead of, you know, the. I think autistic people generally don’t. I can’t speak for everyone, but generally don’t want to be like, oh, yeah, my cousin’s autistic and blah, blah, blah, and he struggles with blah, blah, blah. And I think that is a very common reaction to want to relate by knowing someone else. But honestly, we’re all so different. That. And I know ADHD people can relate to that totally. Like, I’m getting fired up just right. And I definitely get that a lot. Or like, you know, like, oh, Leah, like, my. My niece is autistic and she poops her pants or something. Like, I’ve heard that. And I’m just like, okay, great. Like, you know, and there’s such. Just a wide range, but okay. So I also want. I want to throw out some stats. I know, like a lot of ADHD people like that information. I love statistics and all of that. Shocker. ADHD and ASD is between the two are the most common comorbid. And 50% of people with autism spectrum disorder diagnosed are also diagnosed with ADHD. 50%, but it’s not the same the other way. Okay. So people that are diagnosed ADHD are typically, I believe, personally, it’s probably 50% as well. But it’s the people that. This totally anecdotal guess, but I think it’s the people on the other. So most people diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder are the people that have comorbid intellectual disabilities and things where it’s like, very easy to see. And the rate of diagnosis is skyrocketing so much because they’re understanding it just like adhd. They’re understanding it better now. They are understanding what it looks like more in females finally and girls, which is so different. Same with adhd. So the rate of diagnosis is going up, up, up. But I believe that there is going to be more of a relationship with autism and adhd. Maybe possibly when the next DSM comes out, it might be closer in relationship. Wow. There are some rumors buzzing around and that’s not a bad thing. It’s not. It is mind blowing though. It is, it’s very much. They very much even. You know, when I got my adhd diagnosis at 12 in the 90s, no one was talking about autism. No one knew like Asperger’s was talked about, which isn’t even a diagnosis anymore. It’s all one diagnos. But that wasn’t talked about until I was out of high school. So I like never even heard about it till, you know, the early 2000s or mid 2000s. And so it’s very, very new. And then in 2013 they got rid of the Asperger’s diagnosis and now it’s all one diagnosis and that’s created a lot of waves and it’s made it even more confusing to some people. But you know, a lot of people with adhd, you know, struggle with some things that might be a little more autistic oriented. So if someone is listening to this and they’re like, oh shoot, this sounds like me. This totally sounds like me. What should their next step be? Next step should be to do research. If you are a female and you want to do research, I would say go to Google and look up autistic female traits. There are a few good websites. I can definitely recommend some to Kristen to post. Yeah, we can put them in the show notes for sure. Yeah, definitely. And then there is also another link that I think everyone should go to if they have any questions and that’s the autism quotient spectrum or the autism spectrum quotient. And that test is very good. There’s another one too that, but it’s called aspytest.org I believe. But we’ll post the link and take some tests, some self tests, figure out, you know, what you think. So you have to remember like autism is very sensory oriented, social communication, lots of anxiety with it. So if you, I would say if you don’t have any sensory issues, which most people with ADHD do. But if you don’t, if you’re very, if you don’t struggle with sensory issues, you’re probably not going to be a comorbid diagnosis of autism. And I would say the people listening that have ever questioned, you know, oh, maybe I’m on the spectrum, definitely go take that test. But anyone listening who’s like this is crazy, you should take the test. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that’s awesome. That was me, that was me. Oh no, please, please. But yeah, I think it’s just more like the lack of understanding of what Autism really is. It is not an intellectual disability. It’s the same as adhd. It’s in that way because it’s similar. It’s a little more developmental, you know, but. But still very, very similar. So what I mean by that is that ADHD is not an indicator of intelligence. Oh, yes, definitely. That’s what I mean, that it’s the same. It’s not an indicator of anything. Exactly. It’s an indicator of adhd. It’s a neurotype. It does not tell you what personality you’re going to have. It does not tell you your iq. It does not say, you know, what enneagram you’re going to be or anything like that. I love that. I could go down a rabbit hole with that. I’m gonna avoid it. I’m avoiding the rabbit hole. I love it. I thought I’d throw that out there. Yeah, I love it. So you. I would love to know from you what’s been the best thing about being diagnosed? Like, why should someone who suspects, why should they definitely go and check it out? I don’t think they should definitely go. Yeah, I think that before, for one, it’s not like adhd, where you have like, family doctors who can diagnose or like any, you know, there. It’s. It’s very different. There are strict. Even though there’s a lot of stigma out there, like, oh, everyone’s getting diagnosed with autism. Now, that is not real. And that is a stigma, but at the same time, it’s a lot harder to get diagnosed. It’s also as an adult, typically very expensive. Interesting. Yes. Most autism spectrum disorder, like, if you’re questioning it as an adult, you typically have to pay out of pocket for an evaluation. It’s very rarely covered by your insurance. For me, luckily it was because literally only because my husband was an employee or is an employee of that health system. So I was very, very lucky. Now it’s very different for children. Children are very covered by most. Yeah. So as an adult, I think you should be sure and you should be completely. You should do your homework. And I say that too, because to get the diagnosis, you’re going to have to advocate for yourself, because even doctors are very unaware of. Many doctors are very unaware of what autism looks like in women. And I think you really got to know your stuff. And I went to my evaluation with 20 written pages. I love you. I was like, okay, so this is all of my symptoms that I ever had. And this is why. And he actually, he really enjoyed it. I was so nervous, like, how he was going to. I was like, here you go. And he was like, oh, I love this. And I’m thinking people probably came unprepared so often that it was like hard for him. He loved it and I was happy, but I was like, this guy’s gonna think I’m such a freak. But then it ended up totally being an autistic trait that I didn’t even know was a thing. So it actually worked in my favor. But be prepared, know your stuff. Know why, like, be fully convinced. You know, the evaluation would have been $1,800 if I would have had to pay out of pocket. And I think that’s pretty typical. And it was a five hour evaluation. Okay. So as far as I understand, there’s no treatment, right? For asd. Correct. So I would love to know what the benefit of a diagnosis is. Like if there’s no treatment for it, what’s the benefit of getting or at least even coming to a self diagnosis? Like, what’s the benefit of that? Well, benefit to self diagnosis is that because autistic people are typically so mistreated in the healthcare system that autistic people do fully accept self diagnosed individuals as autistic, no questions asked. You mean the community? The community people. 100%. Wow. Yes. And I kind of wish that the ADHD world would be a little more like that. I think there’s a lot of women who know they have ADHD and it’s hard to get a diagnosis. And you know, it’s not the case for most people, so they’re kind of like thrown aside like, oh, maybe you have something else. But anyway, so I think self diagnosis is a valuable tool. But I think that for me, I was going insane. I was in it. I was in rabbit holes. It’s all I was thinking about. And when I say like rabbit holes, I was going like Internet, like looking things up. All of this. I was getting deeper and deeper and I got to the point where I’m like, I need medical confirmation. I need it. I was going crazy. That makes sense. And then also like having a son who was diagnosed with it, it was like I didn’t want to be like one of those moms that like, I have it too. Do you know what I mean? I don’t know. I was like, I need to like really know that I have it. I love that because, you know, there are those moms, her, like myself. I’m not, I don’t, I don’t. Like a doctor didn’t tell me I have it, but I Have it. Like, you hear that a lot, you know, So I don’t want to be one of those. And also there is not. So there’s no medication for it. Stimulants do, or even like other non stimulant ADHD medications do often work for certain symptoms of autism with certain people. So that is an option for some. I definitely still have just continued my medication that I’ve been taking forever and there is certain therapies that can work as well. It’s different for everybody, so it’s hard. So I do think having medical confirmation is a good thing. It’s not necessary. But also to have a therapist that’s understanding and can kind of be there with you through the diagnosis period, because it’s very complex and it’s very up and down. I think that’s a good thing. Or even it doesn’t even have to be a therapist, just like someone medically kind of there with you, helping you through it is always a good thing, no matter what diagnosis you get. So I do think that that’s really important. So it’s really just up to the individual though. Do your research, know what you want. But if you’re like me and you like have to have that medical confirmation, then get it. And if you don’t and you’re like, no, I’m avoiding that whole thing, but I know then you’re self diagnosed, totally fine. Yeah. Yeah. I love that. Are you still organizing? I am. Tell us about it a little. Are you still our guru? I. So that was always something I remember on your last podcast, you’re like, how do you have ADHD and do this? And I realized this, like, it all kind of like, that’s another first thing that I thought about. It’s like, oh, that’s why I love organizing so much because I’m a systemizer. Totally. I love my routines and I see patterns in places where other people don’t and things, you know, very like autistic things. Totally. So that the, the autism ended up kind of helping me in the areas where the ADHD hindered as professional organizing. But I am not organizing as much as I was because I’ve been like, just processing all of this. Like, one of the first things you kind of go through is like, how am I? Like, am I misreading every social interaction? Or, you know, like, what if I’m not? Like, it’s very. It’s hard because you’re like, what if, what if, like, people don’t see me? Like, I come off. I don’t know. You go, like, the anxiety is crazy. It just takes time to process. So what I did is I kind of stop taking clients. I took my time processing, and this was something where I’m like, I’m gonna give myself however long I need and do this the right way, especially because I had kids going through this at the same time. I call it the stage effect, where you have eyes watching you. It helps you be a better person, and that’s totally me. I never took care of myself until I had kids, and I’ve been so much better. But it’s the same thing where it’s like, okay, I’m gonna. I’m an example now. I have kids diagnosed, so it’s like, I want to do this right. I don’t want to, like, have a mental breakdown of, like, dealing with this in front of them and everything. And I don’t. I also don’t want them to think it’s a bad thing or, you know, no limits. Like, they’re still capable of whatever they love, you know, any passion they have and all of that. So I’ve really been taking my time. I’ve not been organizing as much, and I’ve been questioning everything. I love it. Like, what do I want to do from here? You know, I even started my own podcast where I literally just info dump on everyone and tell them everything about my late diagnosis of asd, and it’s called the Not Neurotypical podcast. But it’s just. It’s been very complex and confusing and not in a bad way. It’s just like, when you’re 35, I mean, anyone who’s gotten an ADHD late diagnosis, you understand, like, it’s. Your mind is, like, blown. Like, you have to all of a sudden, like, perception is your reality. Right. So, like, two years ago, I had no idea this was coming, and I was fine. Yes. And just the perception of me having this diagnosis and not see it coming, it just, like my whole world not falling apart. It’s just everything is different. Yeah. Yeah. So I actually love that I’m in a transition, I think, in my life as well. And I just. I think transitions can be so beautiful. Beautiful. Like such, like a morphing and a changing and a growing and becoming, like a newer, better version of yourself. But we have to change and morph to grow. Otherwise we’re just stagnant. Say this wants to be the same forever. Yeah. And if you do, you’re, you know, you need to. Need to bump up your game or something. I don’t know. I know. Come On, Come on. Yeah. I think living is growing and pushing yourself and to be the best you can be, whatever that is, you know, it’s. It’s always changing. So where can people find you? I am very active on my podcast. Like I said, it’s called Not Neurotypical. A neurodivergent podcast is the full name. You can go to www.notneurotypical.co.com.com was taken. Whoops. And also you can follow me on Instagram under my new side Instagram that I made just for processing my late diagnosis. And that is Arastan. L A U R A Z D A N And message me there. Let me know if you had anything resonate today and we can talk about it. I love it. Thank you for that offer. That’s really kind of you. I love it. I have people messaging me every day like, oh, my God, that. Because I make a lot of memes to process this, because I process with humor and making fun of myself. That’s how I, like, grow. And so many people message me like, oh, my God, that’s me. Oh, my God, that’s me. Like, what does that mean? And we talk about it, and I love it. The interaction helps me too, though, because I’m totally. And I think that’s how I process is just getting out there and kind of figuring it all out in that way. I love it. Thank you so much for coming on and just being really vulnerable. You’re hella vulnerable. Thank you for having me on. All right, my friends, I hope that you thoroughly enjoyed listening to our discussion, and I hope that your eyes have been opened to how different the symptoms of Autism Spectrum disorder present in adults versus children. That, to me, was so enlightening and so important for me to learn. I hope that you feel the same way. And if you kind of suspect that maybe there’s a little bit more going on, maybe you have something else in addition to adhd. Maybe ADHD doesn’t feel like the full story or the full picture. I invite you to begin to research ASD and see if that feels like it might also be a good fit for you. So again, you can go to my website, ihaveadhd.com ASD to find out more. And feel free to reach out to Laura with any questions or your doctor. Do your own research. Make sure that you’re really educating yourself and giving yourself the treatment and support that you deserve. I have enjoyed this so much, and I cannot wait to talk to you again next time. Bye. Bye.