Do you suck at managing your money? Can’t seem to save for the future? Don’t understand why you buy so many things without thinking? These are all characteristics of adults with ADHD! Join me on this episode as we chat about the challenges of taking care of our finances as adults with ADHD.
Here are the 10 bank accounts that I talk about in this episode
- Family Expenses – This is where all of your bills come out of: home, auto, insurance, utilities, groceries – I mean how much money does it take for your family to survive?
- Emergency Buffer – $1000 stays in this account at all times just in case a car breaks down or the roof leaks
- 3 Months of Expenses – This is an account to save about 3 months of expenses just in case something horrible happens and you lose your job – we are about halfway there on our 3 months savings…it is taking us forever but we’re trying
- Medical Bills – If you have a high medical insurance deductible, you need to have an account for this. I will tell you – my husband and I did not do this….our deductible is thousands of dollars and we didn’t have a special account for it. Well our son needed major knee surgery a few months ago and guess who’s trying to pay off medical bills now? WE ARE. You better believe I opened up a medical account for us so that we can save and never be in this position again. Because I am no longer the person who is comfortable being in debt. I have totally changed my identity and you can too! Take small steps.
- Taxes – If you pay tax bills, create an account to save for them.
- Fun Spending – If you’re married, you should have one for you and one for your partner. This is where money goes every month and it’s fun money – it’s money that you don’t have to feel guilty about spending. And you decide in advance how much is going to go in month, and then you set it as an automatic payment – it’s super easy. If you want to save it for a few months and buy something expensive, great, you can do that guilt free. This about knowing how much fun money you have to play with – because you can’t look at your main account and say oh we have $20000 in there, I can definitely afford this new purse or car or trip – you can’t do that! Because that $2000 needs to cover bills and school tuition and life that’s what you create a fun money account.
- Christmas – Especially if you have kids – create an account for Christmas savings
- Travel – If you like to travel, create an account for travel savings
- Home Stuff – If you’re renovating your home like I am, create an account for home renovations. Right now my husband and I are saving to renovate our bathrooms and my gosh it’s going to be thousands of dollars. How in the world are we going to afford it? We have an account just for the renovations – and I’m hoping we can do it this summer!
- Anything Else! Dude – you’re a grownup 🙂 you get to decide what to save for.
Here are the resources I used for this episode:
If you WANT to track every penny, I have heard amazing things about this budgeting tool. You Need A Budget (YNAB). Do not be turned off by the monthly fee – think of all the money you’re wasting by not tracking! (I’m not an affiliate). Enjoy!
Here is our super super super simple family “budget” I use that word SO LOOSELY! It’s just a snapshot of what’s going out, what’s coming in, and what our goals are. You do not have to make this complicated. Figure out what’s going to work for you!
[00:00:00] Kristen: Welcome to the, I have ADHD podcast where it’s all about education, encouragement, and coaching for adults with ADHD.
You are listening to episode ten of the I Have ADHD Podcast. I’m here with my son, Crosby to record this intro. Crosby say “Hi.”
Kristen: We are so pumped that we got to double digits. Aren’t we Crosby?
Kristen: Yes, we are. Enjoy the show.
My name is Kristen Carder. Your BFF with ADHD. I am medicated. I am caffeinated and I am ready to roll.
I am excited about today’s episode. We’re going to talk about money, money, money, money, and I love talking about money. I love having money. I love creating [00:01:00] money. I love spending money. So I’m excited about today’s episode.
I come to you today as a co-learner. I do not have it all together in this area of my life. I’ve made a lot of progress, but I definitely. Still struggle. I have been studying and learning and trying and failing and trying and failing for a really, really, really long time. I am going to link a bunch of resources in the show notes of this episode. So you can go to www.ihaveadhd.com/money and you will find a bunch of resources.
None of these ideas are my own ideas. They are all borrowed from different places that, um, have been really, really helpful to me in trying to figure out how to manage money as an adult with ADHD, because we are notoriously terrible at managing our [00:02:00] money.
Right. We put off paying bills because they stress us out and we want to pretend that they don’t exist and we don’t have to deal with it. Same thing with our taxes, we avoid paying taxes because we’re not sure how to do them, or it feels too overwhelming. And we just don’t know where to start. We write checks and forget to mail them.
We make impulsive and dumb buying decisions sometimes. I mean, really it’s kind of a train wreck. And a lot of us have tons of debt. I was reading an article online. I will link it in the show notes and it was all about how debt is kind of like this risk that our dopamine depleted brain. Crave. And so a lot of us will incur more debt than the average adult because we see it kind of as like a risky decision and that risk makes us excited and [00:03:00] it makes us have a shot of dopamine.
Uh, that’s not really good. It’s really, really not good. We also make career changes more often than most people do. And this could include moving, which is really, really expensive. Here’s a quote from another article that I’ll link with changing careers and jobs often, it makes it more difficult for people with ADHD to build a career and an income.
Fields with moving from career to career. People with ADHD tend to start at the bottom again and again. So their income level is consistently lower than their peers. Oh, how true, how true, how true. Okay. And then in addition to that, we’re making impulsive buying decisions. We are putting the now as more important than the future.
We have what is called by researchers at Ohio state university press. Bias. We are biased towards the present moment. So we may be, let’s say 35 years [00:04:00] old looking to a long future, knowing that we should probably be saving for retirement and all of these other things. And yet, you know, we are more concerned about buying things in the now we have a very hard time organizing our behavior.
Time to reach a long-term goal that applies to every area of our life and it applies to our finances. So the, for the first 10 years of my adult life, I never had enough. To be honest. I also didn’t really work that much. I don’t know what in the world I was thinking, but I thought that I didn’t need to work full time.
I worked part time and then I complained about not having money. I told myself that people and relationships are more, that more important than money and they are. I believe that, but you guys money’s important too. I had this. [00:05:00] Um, leftover thought process for my childhood, that was like, money’s unimportant.
Money is not everything. Money does not buy happiness. People are more important than money and all of those things are true, but. It’s also true that we need money to survive and having money is really fun. It opens up a lot of opportunities. It really cuts down on our stress. It gives us a lot of options when you have money.
You have options. You get to decide. If you want to take a vacation, you get to decide what kind of car you want to drive. You get to decide what kind of decor and furniture you want in your home. You get to decide what kind of school your kids go to. You get to decide what you want to wear. Right? So having money gives you options.
It opens up doors that you would not otherwise have. So. Well, I am [00:06:00] trying to teach my children that people are definitely more important than anything. I’m also trying to teach them that money is really important. Having money. It should be a goal. It should definitely be a goal. Now those of us with ADHD tend to take longer to grow up.
Right. And this was definitely true of me, for sure. I was in credit card, debt, student loan, debt, mortgage debt, and I didn’t feel like working full time. So I didn’t work full time. Like what in the world over the last 10 years, my thoughts and feelings about money and work have really evolved. And so I wanted to share some of that with you today.
Again, I’m a work in progress. I am still learning. My life is not altogether. I do not have this all worked out. Okay. I’m along for the journey. I’m struggling every day. Just like. So, so much of [00:07:00] this conversation comes down to this question. Who do you want to be? The choices that you make every day are setting you up to be someone.
So are you happy with that? Someone are you happy with the outcome? Do you want to be someone who has money? If so, are the choices that you make reflective of? Are you working as much as you can work? Are you saving as much as you can save? Are you resisting impulse buys as much as possible? Do you have accountability in your finances?
Okay. I know this topic is super overwhelming, so let’s take a deep breath today.
I know that if you were to make a few key changes in your life, you would be able to set yourself up for financial health. I believe that with my whole heart, I’m not an expert. I’m learning with [00:08:00] you. I’m on this journey and I am struggling. I have not. I’m not completely debt-free, we’re not reaching every single one of our financial goals, but I have figured out a lot along the way, and I’m making progress and you guys, that’s what matters.
We have this false idea that everyone has it all together except for us. And we allow that feeling to paralyze us and to keep us from making good decisions. So I’m here to tell you that no one has it all together. Lots of people are hiding piles and piles of debt. And honestly, it’s none of our business to even know about that.
So we need to stay in our own lanes and focus on our own finances, our small habits and decisions when it comes to. They matter, they really, really really matter each small decision matters. [00:09:00] So the first thing that we need to talk about, if you want to get a handle on your finances, the first thing we need to think about discuss is this.
If you’re not treating your ADHD, you will not be able to manage your finances consistently. You might be able to do it for. You might be able to do it for a week, but you’re not going to be able to do it over the long-term of your life. If you truly have ADHD, it will inhibit you from success with your finances, unless you treat it.
I say this in every episode, I’m going to continue to say it in every episode. ADHD is no joke. It’s a neurodevelopmental disorder that will ruin your life. If you don’t take it serious. So look around, think through your finances. Are you happy? Are you making good decisions? Are you in a good place? Are you in a [00:10:00] place of peace?
We can’t complain about being in debt or not having money. And with the next breath say that we don’t feel like taking medication or we don’t need to see a therapist or we can’t afford an ADHD coach, or we think a naturopath is stupid idea. We have to face the reality of the disability that we’re dealing with.
So if you’re wondering why you can’t manage your finances, the first question I want to ask is what’s your ADHD treatment plan? Like, are you taking care of your precious ADHD? I am trying to do a really good job of this. I take medication, I take supplements. I see a therapist and I’m finally starting to do a really good, consistent job with my finances.
So make sure you’re being treated and that’s just a given. Okay. So that needs to happen first, go ahead and [00:11:00] press pause on this episode. If you need to and call them, make an appointment, make an appointment with your doctor, a psychiatrist therapist, natural path, mentor, someone that can hold you accountable to making sure that you’re treating your ADHD.
Okay. All right. So let’s just assume that you’re treating your ADHD the way it deserves to be treated. I hope you are my precious friends. And now we need to face reality facing reality about our finances is really, really hard. It’s especially hard for those of us with ADHD, because we like to live in the alternate universe of avoidance and buffering and fun, fun, fun, fun.
Now buffering is a term that I learned from Brooke Castillo and maybe someday we’ll do a whole episode on it, but she uses the term buffering to describe the things that we do to make ourselves feel better in order to avoid reality or avoid our feelings. [00:12:00] So we binge watch Netflix or we over-drink, or we overeat and we do these things to make ourselves feel good.
While we’re avoiding the reality of stress or anxiety or debt or relationship issues facing reality is really, really hard. I know it is, especially when the reality of our finances is that we have a lot of late bills, way more debt than we want to think about. And we’re spending more than we earn, but friends.
If we’re going to make progress in this area, we have to know what we’re dealing with. So the first thing that I would encourage you to do is to get it all out on the table, figure out how much you’re earning and how much you’re spending. Now, your bank statement will tell you exactly how much money is going in and going out each month.
So, all you have to do is look at the last couple of bank statements online and see if you’re spending less than you earn. If you are [00:13:00] congratulations, you are some sort of magical miracle worker because, um, most of us are not really good at spending less than we earn. If looking at a bank statement or finding your bank statement or understanding your bank statement is way too overwhelming a step, then I would encourage you to.
Sit down with someone who can help you, a mentor, a friend, someone who won’t judge you. If you don’t have someone in your life who won’t judge you, then hire them, hire someone, hire a therapist, or a financial planner or an accountant to help you go through everything. But I think most of us can find the bank statements and at least look and see, okay, how much is going out?
How much is coming in? I’m going to link a bunch of resources on my website. I have adhd.com forward slash money. Um, you will be able to have everything at your fingertips. [00:14:00] Again, these are things that I have learned from other people. They’re not my own ideas. But there are things that you can use on a daily or weekly or monthly basis to help you keep track of everything.
My favorite money guy is Dave Ramsey. His approach is very extreme, Greg and I go in and out of using his methods. But overall, it’s basically like a combination of a bunch of things that I’ve learned over the last couple years. So here’s what I’m going to share with you. First of all, we need to just go back to the basics and acknowledge that we must make more, earn more money than we spend our income has to exceed our spending, or we will always be in debt, obviously.
I for some reason did not realize this concept until I was like 30 years old. So here’s what you need to do. You need to get a job. You need to get two jobs. You need to get a million jobs. We need [00:15:00] to work. I wish I could go back to my 23 year old self and smack her across the face. I would tell her to get a full-time job, even if it wasn’t the perfect job, even if it wasn’t in my field.
Now, of course it’s overwhelming and stressful and impossible to get a job when your ADHD is untreated. So I would also give myself a big hug and I would tell her to be gentle with herself, but honestly, I would tell the girl to get a job. Okay. So if you’re healthy, if you’re able to work, even if you’re the primary caregiver in your home, you should be figuring something out.
In this day and age of the internet, there are so many options for you. Maybe you’re the sole care provider of your children. Well, you can still make money online. We’ll do an episode sometime, um, on ways to make money. That’ll be fun, but that’s not really the point of this episode. So I just want to encourage you to work because no one encouraged me to work.
[00:16:00] Um, I wish that somebody had gotten in my face and been like, what are you doing? Increase your income out, earn what you’re doing right now, because obviously you’re not happy with where you are. Okay. So hopefully you can handle that sweets. Tough love for me. Um, and maybe you’re doing everything you can already and that’s great.
Awesome. So let’s move forward. The next thing is to save a thousand dollars as a buffer between life and your money. Do you ever feel that the universe just like knows when you have money? Like as soon as you get extra money, the car breaks down or a tax bill comes or you need a medical procedure and then poof, the extra money is all gone.
That has happened. Over and over and over and over. And it’s so defeating and it makes us just be like, what is the point? What’s the [00:17:00] point of even trying, why am I even bother trying? Because as soon as we have a little bit of extra income, it goes to something stupid, like a leak. So the best way to deal with this is to have a thousand dollars in the bank at all times, just sitting there to be used as an emergency buffer so that those unforeseen bills of broken cars or broken bones or taxes or a leaky roof don’t affect your everyday finances.
So make sure that you save a thousand dollars just to have on hand, just in case. Okay. So we’ve gotten everything out on the table, you know exactly what you’re dealing with when it comes to your finances, your income, what you’re spending your debt. You’re no longer avoiding congratulations. Okay. And you’ve committed to saving a thousand dollars in an emergency buffer fund.
Perfect. Now [00:18:00] what, right. What do we do with the rest of our money? This is so hard. So I want to discuss a concept with you that I only learned recently, but I’ve implemented it, not just in my home finances, but also in my business, my company grosses six figures. And it’s my job to manage that money and make sure that we have profit and money to cover payroll and that I’m able to take a salary for myself.
And it’s so tough. It’s really hard to manage it, but I read this awesome book called profit first. And if any of you out there are entrepreneurs or company owners, I cannot recommend this book highly enough. I will link it in the show notes, of course, but I’ve implemented this guy suggestions in my company, but also in my home finances.
And I’m telling you it, it changes everything. It is changed. Everything. So the thing is, um, let’s talk about home finances. Obviously. That’s like the concept that you and I are [00:19:00] going to be discussing together. For an ADHD brain. It’s really hard to keep track of every single penny. Right? So my husband and I, now my husband doesn’t have ADHD, but finances are not his strong point.
Cleaning, organizing strong point finances, not so much. So we’ve tried. Um, lots of different budgeting apps. We’ve tried to keep track of every penny that we spend, but it is so overwhelming. We share a checking account. There are so many transactions, every single day, it would take so much time. And I know, I know we can use things like mint that track it for you little.
I know, but for us it has not worked to track every single. So what ends up happening is we get paid and then we look at the money in the count and we think we’re rich. Oh my gosh, look at this. We are so rich. And so then we make stupid choices because we think that we have all of this money. Right. The problem [00:20:00] is that money has to go to like other things, obviously.
Okay. So here’s the concept in the book profit first. That is so awesome. Think about your money, right after payday as Thanksgiving day. Okay. When you look around the table at Thanksgiving dinner, it’s a feast. It looks amazing. You want to eat everything. You’re so excited. You feel like, um, nothing can stop you.
You’re just like, we have so much, I can eat as much as I want. And so can everyone else, we can all have huge portions and it doesn’t even matter because there is so much food here, right? That is our bank account. After like the day that we get paid. So we take a huge plate, right. For Thanksgiving dinner and we load it up because everything looks so good and there’s so much on the table.
And of course we’re taught to eat everything on our plates. So we do. But the thing is, [00:21:00] when you look at your Thanksgiving dinner of your bank account, you have to understand that obviously that money is needed for so, so, so many things. So the concept in the book is. Take smaller plates, use a smaller plate, like a little dessert plate.
Your use less food. And you might even be full after eating from that small plate. People who are trying to lose weight often kind of trick themselves into eating less by using a smaller plate. It’s a smaller portion. This isn’t a new concept. It’s been around for a long time. So we need to divide our finances into smaller plates so that we know exactly what we’re dealing with.
Just because you got paid yesterday, doesn’t mean that you can go on a shopping spree today, right? Because the money that you got paid with needs to be used for a lot of different things. So [00:22:00] let’s talk about that. Most people have two accounts, a checking account and a savings account. The problem with this is that we look at our checking again.
After we get paid and we’re like, dude, let’s go to Florida on vacation. And so we spend money impulsively except when our mortgage payment is due or our car payment is due. We don’t have enough money to cover it. And we can’t figure out why we need smaller portions. We need smaller plates. So I’m going to say something crazy.
The easiest and most streamlined way to manage finances is to open about 10 bank accounts. I’m not joking. I’ve done this in my business and I’ve done it in our personal finances and it has changed everything. It also makes it so that I don’t have to keep track of every single dollar of every single expense.
I can really [00:23:00] just have a much clearer picture of what’s going on without having to pay really close attention to every single detail. Dividing our money into smaller accounts is going to help us reach our long-term goals, which we all know we suck at, and it’s going to give us a clearer picture of reality.
So here’s what I mean, first, we’re going to talk about five accounts that are not so fun. Okay. But they will help us to be in tune with reality. So here are the five accounts that you need that are not going to be that much fun. Number one. You need like a family expenses or an operating expenses account.
This is where you’re going to deposit your money into and all of your bills come out of your home, your auto, your insurance, your utilities and groceries. I mean, how much money does it take for your family to survive? Hopefully now, you know, and all of [00:24:00] that is going to come out of that one account. The next account you’re going to open is an emergency buffer account.
We’ve already talked about this. A thousand dollars stays in that account at all times. If you have to use it, like if the car breaks down and it’s an $800 bill, you use the account from the emergency buffer, and then you work to build that emergency buffer up before doing anything. The third account is three months of expenses.
This is an account to save up about three months of expenses, just in case something horrible happens and you lose your job. Um, my family does not have three months of expenses saved. We’re about halfway there. Um, it’s taking forever, but we’re continuing to try and fail and try and fail and try and fail.
So we have an emergency buffer account and we have a three months of expenses account and we are working to build up that three months of expenses. Now number [00:25:00] four is why we’re not quite there yet. If you have account number four is for medical bills. If you have high medical insurance deductible, which I think everyone does right now, you need an account for medical bills.
I will tell you my husband and I did not do this. We have a really healthy family. We never meet our deductible. We don’t usually spend a lot on medical expenses at all. And so we did not. Oh, we did not save for our deductible. And guess what happened? My son needed surgery three months ago and it was an $86,000 surgery.
So obviously we met our deductible, which means that now we’re paying medical bills. I’m thankful to have insurance. It’s really, really wonderful, but we should have prepared for that. Okay, this is just the honest truth coming out. Girlfriend’s getting real. We should have had an account. [00:26:00] $10,000 in it so that we could cover our deductible, but we did it.
And so now we are in medical tech and we are fine. We are going to pay it off in a month. I’m totally stoked about that. It’s not a big deal, but if we had had that account already built up, it wouldn’t even be something that I had to think about. Okay. So you need to make sure that you’re setting aside money for medical bills because you are not inventing.
Your kids are not invincible stuff happens. And the next and last account, that’s really not that fun is for taxes. Now, my husband and I actually don’t need a tax account because, um, I have one for our business and we take care of it that way. But if you find yourself having to pay tax bills that are outside of your normal.
Then you need to open an account to save for those taxes because taxes are certain, they will come. They’re going to [00:27:00] come every single year. So don’t be surprised by that every year. Prepare for it, create an account for it. Okay. So your five accounts that are not really that fun are your family expenses, just all of your normal bills, your emergency buffer, which is a thousand dollars saved your three months of expenses, which is however much it takes for your family to survive times three as a goal to save up.
Um, number four is your medical bills or your medical issues. Um, and number five is for taxes. Okay. So those are things that you will have to pay for. It is just life. So don’t be like me and think that you’re invincible. Think that, like, you don’t really have to think about your taxes or all of these other things.
Like you need to think about it. So create those accounts and start dumping money into them. Now let’s talk about the fun stuff. This is a lot, lot, lot more fun. Okay. You have [00:28:00] those five accounts of things that are just reality. Now let’s talk about the fun stuff. What you can do is set up an account for spending money for yourself.
And if you’re married for your partner as well. This is where money goes into every month. And it’s just fun money it’s money that you don’t have to feel guilty about spending. And if you decide in advance, how much is going to go in each month and you set it as an automatic payment, it’s so easy. If you want to save for a few months and buy something expensive.
Great. You can do that. Guilt free. This is about knowing how much money you have to play with to be quote unquote impulsive. Because you can’t look at the main account and say, oh, we have $2,000 in there. I can definitely afford this new iPad or these new shoes that I don’t actually need, or a trip to Florida.
You can’t do that because that $2,000 needs to cover your mortgage and your car [00:29:00] payment and your bills and your life. So have a fun money account. Okay. This is about knowing how much fun money you get to spend as impulsively as you want. The second fun account is if you have kids, especially create an account to save for Christmas, Christmas comes every single year and December seems to be the month that we spend the most.
And we seem to be surprised by it every year, because we’re really not good about planning for the future. So create a Christmas savings account. Figure out how much you’re going to spend on Christmas. Let’s just say it’s $600 and put $50 a month in that account. It can be an automatic transfer that way you don’t even have to pay a fee on the account.
And boom, when Christmas rolls around, you have $600 in your account. Magical absolutely magical. If you like to [00:30:00] travel, create an account for travel savings. My husband and I, I mean, we like the idea of traveling, but we don’t have the extra income for it, but it is one of our goals. And so we do have an account right now.
It’s got nothing in it because everything extra is going to medical bills, which is fine. I am glad that my son was able to have his knee repaired, but if you do. Want to set, travel as a priority, create an account. The next account is for things like home renovations, I’m renovating, um, our home. So we have an account dedicated to that.
We are currently saving for, um, bathrooms and it’s gosh, like so expensive. It’s going to be thousands of dollars. How in the world are we going to afford it? We have an account for the renovations. And as soon as our medical bills are paid, we’re going to get back to funding that account so that we can renovate our bathrooms.
I’m hoping we can do it this summer. So stay tuned. And then the last account is just like anything [00:31:00] else you fill in the blank. What else do you want to be able to do? What else? Do you want to save for what are your other goals? So the fun accounts that we have are fun spending for him, fun spending for her, uh, Christmas savings, travel, home renovations, and then you can also create one that is just like, you know, whatever else you need.
All of these are flexible. You fill in the blank. What goals do you have? What do you want to save for? I know, it seems crazy to open all of these accounts, but I’m telling you, it will change everything for you. If you’re not meeting your financial goals, you need to make a change. Okay. So let’s talk about some logistical things here.
The only account that you actually need to be a checking account is that first family expenses or operating expenses again. That’s where all of your bills are going to be paid from. So other ones can be savings accounts. And [00:32:00] at my bank savings accounts are free. As long as you have a direct deposit going in there.
I mean, um, I’m sorry, a transfer going in there every month. So for me, that’s not a problem out of that. Um, like family expenses account. I have. Automatic transfers going into the other accounts. And so they’re all free because I’m going to be transferring money into those accounts. Anyway, right? Every time we get paid, we’re transferring money into all of our accounts.
We set it up automatically to avoid the fees. I worked it out with my banker. You can work it out with yours, but you do need to set aside a couple hours to do this. It’s so worth it. I’m telling you it is so worth it in the long run. Take one day of excruciating agony of going to the bank and setting up these accounts.
And then once or twice a month is all you have to look at your finances and it’s so amazing. I’m telling you it’s [00:33:00] amazing. You need to make your portions smaller. You need to face the reality of all the bills and all the things that adults need to save for like taxes and medical bills and a leaky roof.
The thing with ADHD adults is we’re concerned with the now and I get that, but life doesn’t care. If you’re just concerned with the now, it’s not going to be more gentle with you. Life still happens. Whether we’re prepared or not. Medical bills still come, whether we’re prepared or not taxes still come, whether we’re prepared or not.
So I encourage you split up your finances so that you can see how much is allotted into each account and know how much you’re prepared for. Okay friends. Are you still with me? This is going to be a longer episode than [00:34:00] normal. So I hope that you’re still with me a few more thoughts. Here we go. Them. I hope that you’re already doing this, but set all of your bills to auto pay so that you don’t even have to think about that.
Make sure you do have a list of them. So you know exactly how much money is coming out each month. This is the part of facing reality. That’s really hard. How much money does it actually cost you and your family to live each month? Do you know? Can you answer that question? You need to have a list of your bills, the ones that come every single month, including groceries, all the little things, and you need to make sure that you’re making more.
Then what it costs for your family to live. And if you’re not cut down on whatever expenses you can and go get another job. Now I’m going to do something weird and I’m not going to use any numbers, but I am going to link my family’s totally [00:35:00] simple, slightly like embarrassing, because it’s so simple budget on the website.
I have adhd.com forward slash money. Just to show you that we’re not fancy, I’ve used different apps and all these different things, but honestly, tracking every single expense makes me really, really stressed out. So I keep things super simple. I’ve divided up my bank accounts and I just keep a tally of all of our expenses.
How much does it cost to live? How much are we making and what are our goals? Because we have all of the different accounts, our plates are really small. And so I know exactly how much money we have for what types of expenses. It’s not perfect, but it’s working for us. And I know you can figure out a system that works for you, make sure that you’re treating your ADHD.
That is first and foremost, none of this is going to work. If you’re not taking your ADHD seriously and treating it, you will get motivated. You will [00:36:00] do it for a day, but you are not going to be consistent. So. Treat your ADHD, make sure you’re facing reality. Stop avoiding it. I know that you probably have a lot of anxiety around your finances, but I’m here to tell you that ripping the bandaid off, pulling the curtain back, make sure you know exactly what’s going on is actually more peaceful than avoiding it.
I promise you. Make sure to save that thousand dollars buffer for the universe and karma and all the annoying things that happen for your car that breaks down, or your roof, that leaks, or the toilet that breaks, make sure to save a buffer, bad things are going to happen. It’s just reality. Okay. It’s just reality.
And we need to be more in touch with reality. Divide your Thanksgiving, dinner of your paycheck into smaller portions. Use a [00:37:00] smaller plate. Don’t think that when you get paid, you actually have money because you don’t have money. Okay. You need to divide that paycheck up into all of the necessary accounts.
Make sure all of your bills are on auto pay and you know exactly how much money it takes for your family to live each. When you’re motivated, go for it, make all of the changes. Even if it’s at 2:00 AM, who needs to sleep, you know, you don’t really need to sleep. You can totally, totally get motivated and go for it no matter what time of day.
So when you’re motivated, take advantage of it. I look at our finances really seriously about every other month, but I have set us up so that we can kind of just, um, You know, everything is automatic right now. So I’ve set myself up to be able to do that, but it took work upfront. And [00:38:00] now when I’m motivated, I really, really go for it.
And when I’m not motivated, I give myself grace and I give myself space and I allow myself to mess up. It’s okay. It’s going to happen. No, that this is a process it’s not going to happen overnight. And you’re not the only person that struggles with it. Everybody does. Okay. So stop beating yourself up about it.
So I’m thinking that everybody has it all together. It’s not true. Start identifying as someone who has money start identifying as someone who is out of debt, start identifying as someone who loves having money. What would that person do? How would that person act? How would that feel? Start thinking about that.
Start feeling that way. Start making small decisions each day, knowing that they will impact you longterm, your small decisions matter. And when you mess up, [00:39:00] get back on the horse, you will be impulsive. You will forget to do the things you will make mistakes. It’s going to happen. It’s fine. Forgive yourself.
Start the process over. It’s not as hard as you’re making it out to be. It’s doable. You can ask for help and you can do this. Be willing to try and fail and try and fail and try and fail until you see progress. I’m telling you it’s. Make sure you visit. I have adhd.com forward slash money. We can do this together.
Know that I am coming from a place of being on the journey with you. I do not have it all together, but I am willing to try and fail. I’m not afraid to fail, not at all. And I want to invite you. To fail with me, have an awesome week. I can’t wait to chat with you next.[00:40:00]
Hey, don’t shut me off quite yet. I wanted to take a second to read the review of the week. This one comes from Dr. G L Bustillo. She says, I feel like I’m listening to my best friend, that this podcast has been incredible, empowering and reassuring. It’s freeing to find out that there isn’t something terribly wrong with me and that everything isn’t.
Sure. Some things like emotional regulation and consistency are more difficult for me than for some people, but I’m also good at many other things. Thank you girlfriend, for motivating me to take responsibility for my mental and emotional wellness. Thank you for helping me understand why I perceive and react to the world around me.
The way I do lots of love whilst. That made my day. Thank you so much for taking the time, effort and energy to review this podcast. It matters so much. It’s the only way that other people are going to find this podcast guys, about 16 million Americans have [00:41:00] ADHD that is American adults. So share this podcast, rate it, review it.
Let’s get the word out. Thank you so much. Bye.