In Episode 181 of I Have ADHD, Kristen continues the “ADHD and Relationships” series with a deep dive into boundaries featuring therapist and author Nedra Glover Tawwab. Boundaries are often one of the hardest parts of relationships for ADHDers—not because we don’t want them, but because many of us were never taught they were even possible. Add shame, self-doubt, and years of minimizing ourselves, and speaking up can feel like an impossible task.
Together, Kristen and Nedra explore what boundaries actually are (rules, expectations, needs that keep us safe and comfortable), and why so many with ADHD struggle to set them: the nervous system fight, flight, freeze responses when we anticipate conflict; the pain of being raised without boundaries; and the internalized belief that to ask is to be “too much.” They also discuss what it feels like physically when a boundary is crossed—how tension builds in the body, the throat, chest, stomach—and how acknowledging those signals is the first step.
Listeners will walk away with several tools: how to identify where you lack boundaries (at work, family, parenting, etc.), how to express limits even when uncomfortable, and how to stop confusing boundary-setting with controlling someone else. Boundaries are about you—your space, preferences, needs—and while pushback is inevitable, Nedra emphasizes it’s practice, self-awareness, and courage that make change possible.
