Strong-willed kids don’t respond to “normal” parenting—and that doesn’t mean you’re failing. In this episode, I’m joined by Kirk Martin, founder of CelebrateCalm.com and host of the Calm Parenting Podcast, to talk about what actually works with intense, demand-avoidant, emotionally reactive kids.
Kirk shares the personal story behind his work, including his experience raising his son Casey, and explains why traditional discipline, consequences, and power struggles often backfire with these kids. We dive into PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance), why labeling kids as “demand avoidant” can miss the deeper picture, and how strong-willed kids often seek intense emotional engagement—not because they’re manipulative, but because they’re dysregulated.
We also discuss:
- Why FAFO parenting doesn’t work for many neurodivergent kids
- How to avoid emotional collisions and stop taking behavior personally
- Why reducing demands isn’t always the answer
- The connection between accepting ourselves and accepting our children
This conversation is compassionate, practical, and full of paradigm-shifting insights for parents raising kids who feel “too much” for conventional parenting advice.
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