Podcast Episode #25: Summertime: A Rant

This episode is sponsored by Cure Hydration. You know that moment for me, it’s around like 2 or 3pm when my ADHD brain just decides we’re done for the day. We’re done here. The afternoon slump hits, the lights go off upstairs and suddenly answering an email or doing basically anything feels like climbing a mountain. That’s when I reach for Cure Energy. It’s a clean plant based energy drink mix made with 100 milligrams of natural caffeine and electrolytes so I get the focus and hydration boost I need without jitters, without a crash and without that like I drink battery acid Vi vibe that some of the energy drinks have. The peach tea and akai berry flavors are my current go to’s crisp, refreshing and they don’t taste fake, y’. All. They don’t taste fake. I’ll drink one before recording a session or when I need to get help through like that afternoon drag. And honestly I. I drink it anytime. My brain just needs to cooperate. What’s wild is that Cure Energy is only 25 calories and has zero added sugar. It actually helps me stay hydrated while giving me energy. Okay, I love coffee, but coffee could never. Staying hydrated isn’t just about water. You also need electrolytes. And that’s why I love Cure. It’s clean, it tastes great and it actually works. And remember, Cure is FSA HSA approved which is amazing. You can use that money to pay for cure and for I have ADHD listeners, you can get 20% off your first order@curehydration.com I have ADHD with the code I have ADHD. And if you do get a post purchase survey, make sure to tell them that you heard about CURE right here on the podcast. It really helps to support the show. Don’t just drink more, upgrade it with cure. Welcome to the I have ADHD Podcast where it’s all about education, encouragement and coaching for adults with adhd. I’m your host Kristen Carter and I have adhd. Let’s chat about the frustrations, humor and challenges of adulting relationships, working and achieving with this neurodevelopmental disorder. I’ll help you understand your unique brain, unlock your potential and move from point A to point B. Hey, what’s up? You are listening to the I have ADHD podcast. I am your host, Kristen Carter. I am medicated, I am caffeinated and I am ready to roll. I am so glad to be here with you today you guys. I am so so sorry that I have not been Able to consistently pop out episodes every Tuesday. This summer has been totally kicking my butt. And you know, it’s really interesting. Today we’re just going to kind of have a rant about summertime or insert for yourself. Anytime that your routine is completely different than the norm, it makes life so much harder, don’t you think? So this summer, you know, I have three kids and I own a company and my husband travels during the summer as well. Plus we have vacations. I’m doing air quotes for vacations because it’s really hard to relax anytime that you’re away and outside of your routine. So we have quote unquote vacations. We’ve been doing a home renovation. We hosted my in laws, eight out of towners from Indiana for a week. And you know, then just like the daily stuff of life. Does anyone else raise your hand if you feel like you are completely drowning this summer. Oh my word. Oh my word. So that is why I have not been showing up consistently. I had this dream in like March of this year that I was going to do all of these podcasts in advance and be totally ready for summer. And. And that simply did not happen. So that is going to be my goal for next summer where I can absolutely be working ahead and make sure that I have podcasts in advance so that there is not a lag. Because this summer I will have to tell you completely honestly that I have just had to let go of the things that are not urgent. And you know what? That is our privilege as human beings. We get to decide what’s important and we get to decide what can wait. And unfortunately, the podcast goes in the category of things that can wait. So my job that’s paying the bills that needs to go in the category of urgent of like, you better do your job so that you can pay your bills. My parenting, my three kids that needs to go in the category of urgent, even though it’s really not quite as fun as interacting with you guys and doing this podcast. Parenting is like the hardest part of my life, I would say. My kids are older now and so it is getting more fun for me. They are 11, nine and four, five. I have three boys. They’re wild, they are noisy, they fight all the time. But they’re also the best kids in the whole world and I love them so, so, so much. But parenting takes so much out of me. I think as adhders, we have to remember that there is only so much energy to go around. And so if you’re in a situation season where things are Intense. Then there’s just not so much buffer room for the things that are fun and give give you a lot of joy, like a podcast or interacting on Facebook or Instagram. Speaking of Facebook, the Facebook group has grown so much. I am, like, so shocked. A year ago, I started this account. No, this group. I’m sorry. I started the group a year ago, and it was like 40 people that I knew in real life that had ADHD and we would interact and it was super fun. It was great. Now, a year later, the group is at 2000 and we are welcoming new members every day. And I like, on one hand, I’m so excited. It’s so awesome. It’s so wonderful. On the other hand, I just want to run away and hide because, oh, my gosh. That’s so crazy and exciting and overwhelming. My gosh. So my dear friend Laura, shout out to Laura Brooke. You will remember her from episode 17 and 18. PHL organizer. She is helping me to manage the group. And then we have two other awesome moderators as well. So there’s four of us. And honestly, my job is not that big anymore, but it does still feel like, wow, there are a lot of people. It’s just a little bit overwhelming. So if you want to come and be a part of the craziness, we would absolutely love to have you. You can search in the Facebook groups. Our group is called I have ADHD Support for Adults. It’s really fun. It’s a great group. And do you know what I love about it? We have a lot of rules. I love rules so much. Okay, that’s not true. I don’t love rules so much, but I love it when groups are very heavily moderated because it makes it just really a happy place for everyone. So I think that’s the kind of group that we’ve created, and it’s a lot of fun to be a part of it. So I just wanted to hop on here really casually and just say that because it is summertime here in Pennsylvania because my kids are out of school and they’re home so much more often than before, There’s a lot more pressure for me to be present with them now than there is during the school year. And we are wrapping up a renovation. Um, I’m super, super out of my routine. My company is actually busier during the summer, and there’s a lot more expectation on me in the summertime. So instead of seeing students in our company from 3 to 8pm every day, we’re seeing students from 9am to 7pm every day. So it’s just like a lot more intensity at work. And so I am having to be present with my kids and with my job in ways that are just not quite as intense during the school year. So my plan is to produce a podcast whenever I can. That’s just my plan. Okay, so the every Tuesday thing is kind of out the window for now, and I’m just going to do a podcast when I can. I want to show up and say, hey, I want you to know that it’s okay to not do everything perfectly okay. So I was super rigid with myself and made sure that I got an episode out every week. And I’m really, really proud of that. But it’s just not possible for me right now. And that’s okay. I’m not beating myself up about it. I’m not making it mean that I’m a terrible person or that I have nothing to offer the world or that I’m not a professional. Actually, the contrary is, is true. I’m not showing up because I am a professional, because I have to show up for my company and for my kids. And so I am so excited for the next six weeks to be over. I’m not gonna lie. Summertime is not my favorite season. Although I love being hot. You guys, we’ve had this conversation. I’m not complaining of being cold. I absolutely love the heat, but I really enjoy being in a routine. Raise your hand if you love being in a routine. It’s just really hard right now where every day looks different, where there’s a lot more expectations, and where I feel like I just cannot breathe. So I am doing all of the things while my 5 year old is following me around, you know, like, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy. And that can kind of get taxing where you just want to run away and hide. And so instead of run away, running away and hiding, I am just trying to show up with my very best self. So, you guys, here’s what I want to say. Sometimes life gets crazy and that just is what it is. It doesn’t mean you’re a bad person. It doesn’t mean that you are, are weak or that you can’t handle things or that you’re not being an adult. It just means that we have to adjust and that is difficult. It can be really difficult. And that’s okay. So I do still have my coaching clients this summer. I have four coaching clients. I love them shout out to my coaching clients and I’ve been talking to a couple of them about routines and how a routine is just like a handbag, which is a really weird analogy. So if you’re a dude, let’s say it’s like, you know, I don’t know, a backpack. The routine is a useful tool that’s available to you whenever you need it, right? But sometimes you need a black bag, and sometimes you need a brown bag, and sometimes you need a colorful bag or a beach bag. Your routine is going to change just like a handbag, and that’s okay. All right? So right now, I am in a routine of summertime that looks completely different from my routine during the school year. And that’s okay. It doesn’t mean I’m a bad person. It doesn’t mean that I’m a failure, and it doesn’t mean if you have to change up your routine that you’re a bad person or a failure. So often we ADHDers make, quote, unquote, getting out of routine mean that we’ve somehow, like, failed. And then we get depressed and we get angry. Oh, my gosh, I can’t believe that I’m not doing the thing that I always am supposed to do. Guess what? It is okay to not be a robot. We cannot just program our brains to be exactly the same every single day, no matter what life throws at us. It’s just not possible. So I just want to invite you to give yourself grace, just like I am practicing giving myself grace. So I could easily believe that I’m a failure, that I’m not showing up consistently, that I am like a terrible example for the ADHD community, and I can’t believe that I was doing weekly podcasts and now I’m out of my routine. Oh, my gosh, I cannot believe it. This must mean that I am a failure. This must mean that I am a terrible person. This must mean that I am a bad example and I’m a terrible representation of the ADHD community. But I refuse to think of it that way. The way that I choose to think about it is that I’m just a human and that life looks different now than it did three months ago. And so, of course I’m going to show up differently now than I did three months ago. Am I going to work through it? Absolutely. Am I going to try to show up more often? For sure. But am I gonna beat myself up about it? Nope. I refuse. I will not do it. When we start beating ourselves up over our humanness, over our inability to be perfect all of the time, that’s when things start to spiral. That’s when we really stop taking care of ourselves. That’s when we just overload ourselves and work ourselves to the point where we just have no energy for the things that are most important in our lives, like self care, our jobs, our families. So I want to invite you, my friend, to take really good care of yourself if you are going through a crazy season like I am. Take good care of yourself. Make sure you’re taking your medication. Make sure you’re eating healthy, make sure you’re taking any supplements that are going to be helpful for your brain and for your health. Make sure you focus on the things that really, really matter, like your job and your family and maybe even relaxing once in a while. As a human, it’s your privilege to be able to prioritize things that are most important and put to the side the things that can wait. And so I invite you to do that without making it mean that you’re a failure. I invite you to make decisions on purpose that will help you to be the person that you want to be. And I invite you to let go of the things that do not necessarily need to be top priority right in this moment. It doesn’t mean you’re a failure. It doesn’t mean you’ve done anything wrong. It means that you’re making conscious decisions to focus on the things that are going to propel you forward in this particular season. And guess what? When things calm down a little bit, you can pick those other things right back up. I really enjoy this part of my life. The podcast gives me so much life. Hearing your stories of how you use this podcast as a body double. How it has inspired you to either seek out a diagnosis or get medication or go see a therapist. I mean, there have been so many stories from you guys that, that this has made a difference in your life. And I love that. That is like the biggest high ever, the best dopamine hit ever. And so I just want you to know that I miss you. I love you, and I can’t wait to get back to this regularly. Six weeks and counting. It’s gonna be magical. Have an awesome rest of your summer. I hope to be back really, really, really soon. We shall see. Make sure that you are being kind to yourself, that you’re not beating yourself up, that you’re not expecting yourself to be perfect or a robot. Allow yourself to be human. Allow yourself to focus on the things that you decide are most important. And have an amazing week. I will see you next time by. Hey. I know you hate interruptions and so do I, but sister’s got to pay the bills. So bear with me for one second as I tell you about my website, ihaveadhd.com on it you’ll find a psychologist approved list of symptoms and tons of resources for you or your family member who has ADHD. So make sure to go check out ihaveadhd.com.