This episode is sponsored by Cure Hydration. You know that moment for me, it’s around like 2 or 3pm when my ADHD brain just decides we’re done for the day. We’re done here. The afternoon slump hits, the lights go off upstairs and suddenly answering an email or doing basically anything feels like climbing a mountain. That’s when I reach for Cure Energy. It’s a clean plant based energy drink mix made with 100 milligrams of natural caffeine and electrolytes so I get the focus and hydration boost I need without jitters, without a crash and without that like I drink battery acid. Vi vibe that some of the energy drinks have. The peach tea and akai berry flavors are my current go to’s crisp, refreshing and they don’t taste fake, y’. All. They don’t taste fake. I’ll drink one before recording a session or when I need to get help through like that afternoon drag. And honestly I I drink it anytime. My brain just needs to cooperate. 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And don’t forget their Hero Hawaiian rolls. With 4 grams of protein and 0 grams net carbs. HeroBread has you covered with 0 to 5 grams net carb and high fiber options so your holidays stay delicious and balanced like their 3 grams net carb pain au chocolat. Herobread is offering 10% off your order. Go to hero dot and use code fall25 at checkout. That’s fall25ero co. All figures are per serving of Herobred contains up to 17 grams of fat per serving. See the product nutrition panels on Hero Co for more information. Welcome to the I have ADHD Podcast where it’s all about education, encouragement and coaching adults with adhd. I’m your host Kristin Carter and I have adhd. Let’s chat about the frustrations, humor and challenges of adulting, relationships, working and achieving with this neurodevelopmental disorder. I’ll help you understand your unique brain, unlock your potential, and move from point A to point B. Hey, what’s up? This is Kristen Carter and you are listening to the I have ADHD podcast episode number 95. I am medicated, I am caffeinated and I am ready to roll today. This episode is for my entrepreneurs. Those of you who are in business for yourselves or you have a side hustle or you’re dreaming of being an entrepreneur. But if that is not you, listen, if that is not you, this episode still has so much valuable content in it. Because anyone who struggles to do the things that they want to do, to follow their schedule to accomplish things in a timely manner, who feel paralyzed by fear and self doubt, any one of you who struggles with any of those topics are going to benefit from this episode whether or not you are actually in business for for yourself. I love coaching on business. It is one of my favorite things to do and one of the reasons why I am so passionate about this is because in my experience, adults with ADHD are under earners across the board. Most of us are making less money than we want to and less money than we’re actually capable of making. So I define under earning as as making less money than you want to or less money than you’re actually capable of making. And I think that that is very common, is very typical in adults with adhd. And I want to be a part in changing that. I want to help all of the ADHDers make all of the money so that we have options. It’s not necessarily about being wealthy for me, in my estimation, it’s about having options. Having the option to opt in for coaching, having the option to get therapy, having the option to be medicated, having the option to outsource the things that you want to outsource because you suck at doing them and they steal all of your joy and your energy. So like, being able to make more money in your life is such a catalyst for having the option to take care of yourself. Well, it’s one of the most prominent reasons why I just really want to help all of the people make all of the money. Now, I am someone who truly believes that there is enough money out there for all of us. So I have no problem helping and encouraging my community and all of you to go out and make more money. Because I don’t think that takes anything away from me. In fact, I think that the more money that I make, the more money that other people make. The more money that you make, the more money other people make. I just think that it just kind of perpetuates itself and we have so much more abundance, abundance in the world. So I cannot wait for you to hear this coaching call because I think it will be very, very helpful to you. I wanted to share with you today a business coaching call that I did in Focus last week. It was a really beautiful call. Lots of helpful info was shared, and if I’m going to be super honest, I did not have the emotional bandwidth to record like a podcast for you today. I love you and I like you, but I couldn’t do it. There is a lot going on in my personal life right now. All good things, all things that I’m excited to share with you. But oh, my goodness, lots of transitions happening and my brain has been overloaded with, like, the real life stuff going on. Plus, Pennsylvania has gotten like three feet of snow in the last month. What in the world is happening? Actually, my kids are outside shoveling right this second, which is why I have the 30 seconds of space to record this intro for you, because they are outside shoveling. You all know what it’s like to be off of your routine and out of the structure of your normal everyday life. And we have had so many days like that in the last month. So that coupled with all of these transitions that are happening in my life, it was just too much. And I really knew that this focused business coaching call was going to be the thing that would be so helpful to you this week. So I can’t wait for you to hear it. I can’t wait for you to get all of the goodness out of it. Listen, if you are an entrepreneur who is wanting to make all of the money, come join me in Focused. I would love to coach you. I would love to help you make all the money. Let’s go. Okay, here’s the business coaching call. I can’t wait for you to hear it. Welcome to your business coaching call. Today we are talking about all things business. My name is Kristen Carter. I am your coach today and I cannot wait to coach you. If you want coaching today, all you need to do is raise your hand if you have questions for me about business. Ask them, pop them into the Q and A. Ok. All right. Before we get started, I want to talk to you about three things. I learned this from my coach, Stacy Bayman. These are not my thoughts, these are her thoughts. But I want to pass them on to you. Ok? The three things that you need to build your belief in if you’re going to increase your business and make money. You first have to build your belief in yourself. You have to believe that you are the expert. You are the expert. I think a lot of us think that it is kind and generous to talk down about ourselves and our business. And we just think that that’s like the way that a nice human acts. Let me know if you can relate to that. Like, nice people don’t believe that they are the best at something. Anybody. Is anybody with me? I want you to know that there is no room for insecurity or talking down about yourself when it comes to business. Imagine if I said, I mean I’m an okay coach. Like focused is like, I mean you might like it, you might not. And like I’m, I’m okay. I’m definitely not the best. Like, you know, I’m just, I’m just okay. How compelling does that sound? And how likely would you be to invest in my coaching and this program if I was like, I mean, I’m just, I’m just okay. I’m not that good. How much does that make you want to, you know, give your monthly fee? If I’m like, it’s like, it’s okay, I’m okay. Right? So instead I have spent a lot of time building my belief in myself. I’m an amazing coach. I am the expert that serves me well and it serves my clients well. Okay? So I want you to think about yourself. How could it serve your customer if you really believe that you’re the expert? Why is it best for your client, for your customer, that you really believe that you are the expert? Okay, next step. You must believe in your product and service that it will be helpful. If you don’t believe that what you’re selling or offering is going to be helpful, you’re not going to sell a whole lot of it. You’re not going to sell a whole lot. You must really build your belief in, I can help people. This product works, right? So like, let’s say I’m selling, I don’t know, conditioner. Like, you gotta really love the conditioner. Like it really helps people, it helps me, it helps My people, it matters. It can change your life. Right. So building your belief in yourself is most important. Building your belief in what you have to offer, what you’re offering to your customer or to your client. And then lastly building your belief in your client. I have spent a lot of time building my belief in my client. Building my belief in you, you know, before you decided to invest in this program. Like I believe that there are so many ADHD ers out there that want what I have to offer. There are some that don’t, but there are a ton that do that want what I have to offer. And not only do they want what I have to offer, but they also are like ready, happy to pay today. They’re happy to pay. Like so excited to just be like, yes, I’m in, let’s go. They’re ready and happy to pay today. A lot of us get into our clients or our customers model and we start thinking thoughts like they don’t have the money. They, they’re not gonna, they don’t want to pay me. Nobody wants to pay me for this. They don’t have the money for this. We get into our clients wallets as if it’s our business. Right. Of course there will be people that can’t afford your services. Of course there will always be people that don’t want to pay for what you are offering. That’s not a problem. That’s just like the circumstance. That’s the sea line. Right. And then there’s a whole group of people that are ready and willing and just waiting for you to make an offer. They’re so excited. They want what you have to offer. Ok. Who raise your hand if you want coaching. And I am looking at who is here and who has been coached last. And I am going to come for. Hi. Hey. Yes, I’m definitely not on your list because I’m new, I’m pretty new to focus. So although thank you so much for. I feel like I’m already getting so much out of it. I really appreciate it. I’m so glad. Yeah. Great. How can I help you today? Well, I started a business a few years ago with some friends. Some friends and I worked together for many, many years at a university and we started our own business kind of doing what we were doing for that university for other universities. Okay. When I worked there at the university I had a whole team around me and I had, including I had a wonderful assistant who was just like a rock star and she, I think I had kind of suspected I’d had adhd. My Whole life. But I hadn’t been diagnosed until like last March. So it’s almost a year since I’ve been diagnosed. But she was the one who kind of kept me from like having that be an obvious problem. And so. And she was great. I miss her every day. But. But now I’m working with these guys who worked with me and knew me as a really competent person. But they, I feel like they didn’t know the degree to which I have challenges if I don’t have somebody supporting me. And so, you know, I’m really forgetful. I, you know, I have all of, just all of the symptoms of adhd. Kind of hyperactive, you know, starting a million things. I’m trying really, really hard. I’m in coaching. I went to a psychiatrist and got the medication and all of that. I’m just having a really hard time like forgiving myself and kind of giving myself a break. Like I just feel like. And something happened with one. He, one of the people is one of my best friends and he is in this business with me and he kind of like a couple years ago just sort of lost his patience with me and kind of blew up. And now I’m always like petrified I’m going to upset him. And so I just feel kind of like I’m a little bit like I’m afraid all the time that I’m going to screw something up and it’s paralyzing me. Yeah. Okay. It’s so good that you see, you just basically gave me your entire model. So I know you’re new to focus, but what we always love to come back to is the self coaching model, which is like we have these thoughts, they create this emotional response and that always is going to drive action or inaction. So you gave me your model. Right. In that one sentence. I’m afraid that I’m going to screw something up and I’m paralyzed. Yeah. Right. So your thought is I’m going to screw something up. Yeah. That causes the feeling of fear, that drives the inaction of paralysis, which then your result is you screw it up just because you’re scared. Right? Yeah. Right? Yeah, totally. Yeah. Okay. So I just want you to know that that model, I kind of like to talk about it as if it’s like something you can hold. Like that model is here with you and it’s kind of like always working. We have this thought, I’m going to screw something up. It causes this fear, this intensity, like this emotional response in my body. I am then procrastinating, avoiding hiding Paralysis. Right. And then it works down the line, it works down the model into. The result is, I screwed up. Not because I’m incompetent, but because I have all of this fear that causes paralysis that drives me to not take action. Yes, totally. Yes. So I think that awareness is going to be really helpful for you, because when you notice that happening, you’re like, oh, here’s that thought. Oh, here’s that fear. Oh, look, I’m hiding. Like, this. This is happening. This is my reality right now. And I can stay in this model where I’ve been a million times. Right. It’s not like we’re like. We were holding the model in our hand, and now we’ve kind of, like, hopped into it. Like, okay, I can stay in this model where, like, it’s comfortable because I know what happens. My brain has the certainty of, like, oh, if I think this, then I feel this, and then I do this, and it’s just like. It’s just this certainty. And it’s kind of, if you picture it, like you’re jumping into the hamster wheel. Yeah. Right. Where it’s, like, exhausting, and it’s, like, taking all of your energy, but you’re getting nowhere. You’re paralyzed. Yeah. Yeah. And I think it feeds off itself. So, like, one of the things that you have helped me realize that I do just listening to you coach other people is like, you know, the idea of just, like, trying to do all things at the same time. Right. And so I’m trying really, really, really hard to just pick one thing. But I think that’s. That’s what gets me spinning is, like, when I get this. This, I get afraid that I’m going to screw something up, and then I start thinking of the totality of things that need doing, and without any prioritization, like, just all of them, you know, just like. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I guess, really, I don’t know what I’m. You know, this is. This totally makes sense. And I think the issue is I just need to kind of learn to be a little uncomfortable, like, to just sort of sit with the discomfort of worrying that I’m gonna screw something up or that I’m gonna disappoint people or, you know, so tell me what’s so bad about screwing it up? I am. Because we’re in business as a group. We literally. It’s like divide and conquer. So, like, we. Everything we make, we split, and that’s what we’re all living on. So I feel like if I don’t pull My. If I’m not contributing enough, then I’m not, you know, doing right by my friends. And I think talking to my friend that I’m closest to about this, who’s in the business, he says that I am being unfair to myself. He thinks that I’m contributing as much as everybody else. But I feel like all the times that I kind of spin or that I have an unproductive day, I feel really guilty about it and feel like I can’t. And it’s like, again, feeds off itself. Like, it makes it almost harder, if that makes sense, 100%. Okay. So what you’re doing is you’re making a connection between, like, I have an unproductive day, which is just like, yeah, of course. And then you make that mean something. Here’s what that means. My unproductive day means. Yes, I’m not contributing. Yeah, I’m screwing it up. I’m not pulling my weight. Right. I’m not a team player. They’re better off without me because blah, blah, blah. Whatever. It. You know, whatever. All that drama is totally. And in fact, it’s even like, it’s. It. I let it define myself. Like, it’s like, I’m bad at this. I should. You know what I mean? Like, it’s. It’s really gross. When I finally, like, actually decided to get help, I read the symptoms of ADHD for the first time, and I started bawling because I was, like, 47. And it’s like a list of things I’ve been mad at myself about my whole life and been, like, thinking that it was, like, a character flaw, you know? Yes. Yes. And so I still. After all that time, I’m still really, like. It’s really locked in my head that this is a character flaw. You’re just in the habit of that. Yeah. So one of the most powerful things that I’ve learned through coaching is that I get to assign meaning to things. Meaning doesn’t just exist as truth. I assign the meaning. So, for example, an unproductive day. I didn’t know. And I’m sure that your brain is the same way, where it’s like, that just obviously means that I’m not pulling my weight. Like, we just think that’s the truth instead of questioning and being like, no, no, I get to assign meaning to this. Here’s the meaning that I assign to my unproductive days. Ready? So these are thoughts that I have kind of worked out and chosen on purpose. Number one, some days my brain is not available to me. It’s Just not available. Like, I’m very lucky if I’m fully clothed and my kids are, like, safe. And like, that is like, we’ve accomplished a lot today because some days my brain has just left the building. And I will say to my husband, my brain has left the building. I’m like, so not available. So another thing that I always remind myself is that I am so productive when I’m on. Yeah. I’m allowed to be off because when I am on, like, look out, I’m going to get more done than anybody. Yeah, totally. And I think that that’s true too. Like, I keep trying to remind myself that in some ways it’s kind of a superpower. Like, I kind of have known that my whole life too. That that’s part of what makes me a creative, like, problem solving type person. Right, Definitely. But what you’re doing is you’re. You’re like, why don’t I have my superpowers today? This is so stupid. I should be able to just access it whenever I want. I should just blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And you beat yourself up for the ebb and flow. Yeah, there’s ebb and there’s flow. There’s. There’s the, you know, the up and down. And that is the normal part that like, you can begin to work into your acceptance and work into your self concept. What does this mean about me? What does this mean about my productivity? What does this mean about my contribution? What does this mean about my work? My guess is that if you do the hard work of dropping the drama and you just let your unproductive days be unproductive, you will, like, be able to pick it back up the next day and you have so much less that you’re dragging along with you. Yeah. Yeah, I think you’re totally right. And I think I’m already starting to, like, the best thing about listening to your podcast and being in focus, just like, like starting to begin the process of kind of forgiving myself for things that. You know what I mean? And I’m working really hard at that. But I think that’s the. That’s the key, is just kind of letting myself define what it means. Yes, yes, I would love. We don’t have time for it today, but I would also love to coach you and so maybe you could put this in slack. I would love to coach you on why you don’t have an assistant now, and I’m sure there’s lots of reasons that we could talk about, but I would love for you to think that through and how much money is it actually saving or costing? Because I think that this radical self acceptance and unrelenting forgiveness of self could lead you to a place where you’re like, I am going to make this investment in an assistant so that on the days when my brain is trash, he or she got my back. Yes. On the days when my brain is incredible, he or she is like taking like all the notes and categorizing it and storing it and implementing systems that I will never want to or be able to implement. But they’re going to be like the driver of that. I’m the idea. I’m the visionary. They’re the driver. Yeah. So just bring that to Slack and just pop it in there and we can have a back and forth about like, why not have an assistant now? Why not have the support now? Yeah, that’s a really. I never even questioned that. But that’s a really good question. This is for all of you entrepreneurs. All of you. Okay, thank you. I’m so glad you raised your hand. Thank you. You’re welcome, honey. Guys, you all need assistance? I spent way, way, way, way too long without one. And I kept myself so small and I kept my business from growing because I was like, I had a couple thoughts. My thought was like, I’m just starting to make money. I’m not about to give it away to somebody else. Isn’t that a terrible thought? Like, terrible. My other thought was, it’s going to. I don’t even know how to get this to someone else’s brain. It’s going to take too long. It’s going to be too hard. And that is a complete lie. It is so amazing to go through the pain and the effort of finding the right person and getting that person and delegating and being able to work in your magic zone and allow someone else to work in their magic zone. Love, love, love. Let me see if you have any questions. How do you cope when a client says they need you but they can’t afford you and they ask for a discount or a fixed or reduced rate. I gave away a 25% discount today. Okay. I will tell you what I do. It’s not. This is just what I do. I decide if they can’t afford me that they like, I’m not the right person for them and they’re not the right person for me because I believe that there are so many people out there who want my services and are ready to pay today. And so if somebody wants my services but they’re not ready to pay Today, then they’re just, we’re not the right fit. We’re not meant to be working together. That’s always what I. That’s the thought that I practice. If I think, oh, there’s not a lot of clients that want my work, there’s not a lot of people out there, I better take what I can get. Then I start lowering my prices or doing things that are not in alignment with what I’ve decided are for my business. Right. So it’s really important to me that these two things go together. My client wants what I have and they’re not just like ready to pay, but they’re happy to pay. They’re not just like, they’re just like, yes, let’s go. I’m in. I’m ready. This is a no brainer. And if that’s not the case for them, then they’re just not like, we are not meant to work together. And that doesn’t mean anything about them and it doesn’t mean anything about me. All right, you are not on my list. Let’s go. Hello. Hello. How are you? Good. First time being coached by you. So excited to be here. So glad you’re here. How can I help you? Okay, so I have a side hustle of teaching yoga. I used to teach yoga at a studio prior to everything about being in person changing. And this past year I decided, you know what, screw it. Like, as of January this year 2021, I’m going to teach yoga online. I’m going to do my own thing, I’m going to make it happen. But I’m like running into issues on the how, like, I know how to teach yoga. I know how to like set up a zoom. What I don’t know, or I think I don’t know is how to like market myself. Like, how to come up with like a way to talk about what I do that’s not just like, I teach yoga because, like, everybody teaches yoga these days. So, like, what makes my yoga good? And like, how do I find my people? And like, if you knew how to find your people, how would you do it? Good question. My immediate answer was, like, I would do it, but what would you do? Exactly. So I don’t know if this is answering the question, but what’s coming to my mind is like, I would be able to talk confidently about what I teach and why so that people could know if it was for them. Okay, how else I would actually follow through on setting up, like collaborations with like other companies. Like, I used to collaborate with brewery to Teach, like, brewery yoga. And I have not responded to an email about that, so. Okay, how else would you find your people? This is where I get stuck, because part of me wants to say, like, oh, I would just go on Instagram and I would find my people and I would get followers and they would buy my stuff. But then, like, I look at who takes my classes, and I don’t know if they’re, like, buying things on Instagram. So, like, how would you find out? Don’t know. Like, would I just do it and find out? Like, try things? I love it. That was the most profound thing. Yeah. See, our brains want to know the how before we take any steps. It’s like, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. We can’t do anything yet because we don’t know how. But how do you find the how? Try it out. You just try a bunch of and see if it works. So I guess one of the things that I struggle with, like, I will try things. Like, I’ll just, like, put things up and try them. And, like, I’ve heard you talk about, like, several times, the idea of, like, doing it and then evaluating it and seeing what works from there. So, like, that’s a place that I felt like I’m realizing the answer is gonna be the same here, probably. I feel like I don’t know how to evaluate. Like, I just have all these things from how to do it. How do you evaluate something? So I guess I have a hard time because part of me is like, oh, yeah, that post got a lot of likes, or, like, that post didn’t get a lot of likes, but I’m not necessarily doing it to get likes on Instagram. Ideally. Why, you know, sticking with the posting things, like, why I’m posting things is to help people become aware of what I’m teaching, and then hopefully they like what I’m offering and sign up for classes. So so far, like, if I were evaluating my success, I would say I have not been very successful at getting people to sign up for classes because, like, right now, it’s literally like, friends and family, which is great. I love teaching to them. Probably not, like, sustainable to only, you know, like, friends and family. So how long do you think you would need to. So let’s say go all in on something like Instagram? How long would you need to go all in from the. Like, create engagement, create awareness, create the know, like, and trust factor, like, all of that? How long do you think you would have to do that in order to truly evaluate if it’s working or not working. Like, months to a year. How many months? Like, the number that jumped out was six months. Like, I just. Six months. How long have you been all in on Instagram? Like, all in. Realistically, probably, like, zero months. Like, I. Isn’t that so good to know, though? It is. It is. Like, I will go all in, but I don’t, like, stay. Yes, because your brain tells you I don’t really know how. I don’t know if this is working. I don’t even know how to evaluate if this is working. Yeah. And I’m also realizing that, like, I say I don’t know how to evaluate when I’m working or, like, what’s working, but what I mean is, like, I think it’s not working. Like, I’m, like, doubting all of it. Like, I do know how to evaluate it, or I think I know and I’m evaluating it negatively. So then I don’t want to do it. I want you to notice that I haven’t answered any of your questions. You have answered all of your questions. Every single one. You have the answers you already know. You’re just believing the lie that you don’t know, that you don’t know how, that you. That you’re just. You’re like, I haven’t, like, given you anything, and you’ve come up with all of it. I’m going to talk about it so that people know what I teach, why I teach it, and how they can, like, opt in. That’s what you told me. I would set up collaborations. I would go all in on Instagram and truly evaluate whether it’s working without my doubt involved. Right. Like, actually objectively evaluate. I would give it six months of all in before I really make a decision of whether or not it’s working or not. That didn’t come out right. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, that. That was all you. I said none of this scary. Like, a good scary, but still. So why do you doubt yourself? If I’m being really honest, I think it’s because, like, I compare my. I want to compare myself to others. And two, I think I tell myself a story of, like, well, other people did it first or other people. And I guess this is still a good comparison. Like, I give myself all these reasons that, like, it wouldn’t be successful. Yeah. How fun is that? Not fantastic. How many people are in the world? This is what I like to do when I think about stuff like that. Seven billion or whatever. Insane number of people, right? How many people Would you guess practice yoga? I don’t know. I actually used to know this number, but not 7 billion, but a lot. What would your best guess be? 50 million? I don’t even know. I’m just. I have no idea. Let’s just pretend. Yeah. 50 million people practice, you know, from teen through, like, old age. Yeah. 50 million people practice yoga. And. And then how many yoga teachers do you know of that you Compare yourself to? 50. I don’t know. Okay. A lot. So I have a question. Do each of those 50 yoga teachers have 1 million clients? No, they don’t. So there’s people out there in the world for you? Like, there are your. Like your people might be out there. Yeah. Oh my gosh. Yeah. And then I also though, like, I feel like it’s reached a point where like every. And I realize these are all stories as I’m saying. Yeah, yeah. Everybody teaches yoga now. And people aren’t gonna want to sign up for, like, my class, they’re gonna want to sign up for other people’s. And then that means they won’t sign up for both of them because, like, I’ve never taken classes from more than one teacher in my life. Yeah, you’re just forgetting how gigantic the world is. And you’re just believing the stories that are keeping you safe. Because if you believe those stories, then you don’t have to put yourself out into the world and you don’t have to do anything embarrassing and you don’t have to make offers and say, hey, I’ve got this thing. Do you want to pay me for it? Right. You don’t have to do the uncomfortable work of being visible and being vulnerable and being a potential target, you know, for whatever. Hate. Right, the trolls, whatever. Right, right. Yeah, but is that. So that’s true. And it’s kept you safe, but is it serving you? No, it’s not. Because, like. Like, even though it keeps me safe, like, I still use it to like, beat myself up. And is it serving your people that are out there waiting for you to find them? No, no, I need to believe they’re there. But it’s. But it’s not. Yes. I think that these, like this belief work would be so powerful for you, building your belief in yourself. Like, yeah, there’s a lot of yoga teachers out there. Great. But my people are going to be attracted to me and their people are not meant for me. Like, there’s enough people in the world to go around those frickin 7 billion people. Right. So, like, I feel this way about coaching, like, I never get thoughts about, like, oh, no. Like, I’m just like, there’s so many ADHD years that need help, and we are an underserved community. The more coaches, the better. Like, everybody be a coach. Everybody go get clients. There’s no competition because there’s like, 16 million adults with ADHD, right? There’s so many people that need help. And, like, I want you to be thinking about that, too. Especially in a pandemic, especially when the studios are closed, especially when nobody can go to the gym, right? And then believe that, like, people need yoga right now. Right now. Now. They need it now. And then my people are out there, right? And they’re gonna resonate with me and my message. And maybe you start to define what is your message. What are. You know, what. What is the thing that kind of is quirky and weird about you that might draw people in? Like, oh, yeah, she resonates with me. Yeah, go ahead. Oh, I was gonna say. So I guess, like, that’s another place where I tell myself, oh, I don’t know how to do that, B. S. Yeah. And I think it’s also, I’m mentally noting things to myself. Like, I think sometimes I also think, oh, I don’t know how to do that. And even if I did, I wouldn’t. If I did that, I would do it wrong. And then I would, like, narrow it down too much and no one would want to come. Like, yes, I just don’t. And obviously, I want you to, like, really begin to identify that doubt connected to. Like, I want you to find doubt in your body. Where is it? Like, I want you to spend time getting to know doubt. Because right now it’s kind of like, no, it’s not kind of. It’s running the show, right? And in order to have authority over it, it’s like, I need to find it and notice it and acknowledge it and process it and then be like, you’re not the boss of me. Like, you’re here and you can come along with me, but you’re not going to drive the bus. You can be on the bus, right, but you’re not going to be the driver, because I’m the driver and you’re just a passenger, right? You’ve got some good work. Do not believe your story that you don’t know how. You do know how. You have all the answers. I’ve given you zero answers. You’ve had all of them. I’m going to write that on my whiteboard in front of me. All the answers. Goodbye, honey. You’re so welcome. See ya. Oh, you guys. I could do this all day. Oh wait, I do do this all day. Who next? Let’s go. I don’t think I’ve ever coached you before. I. I had a feeling you want to pick me up. You knew. Just knew it. How can I help you? First of all, I just want to thank you for all that you do and all your coaching. Loving it so far. And all that you say that everybody is coaching. There’s a nugget for you. I so, so believe that. And that’s why I’m on every call and because everybody’s called is something that you know is there for me to learn from. So love it. Oh, I’m hugging you. Thank you. I’m a coach myself. I’m going to show you something. Okay. I wrote here alter ego Kristin Carter and although. And although I might have spelled your name wrong, but I’m like here in my head when I’m coaching my clients. So just, just want to put it there. Love you so much. I’m so glad that you are here. I’m so glad. How can I help you? Tell me how I can help you. Yes. So I’m a health coach too and I was an investment banker but then I took a break to be a mom and then I went back school for health coaching and I became a health coach. But after I came out of the school, I realized that there is a business aspect of it and you know, no matter how good you are and how good you are as a coach and how well you know your stuff, you need to be like working towards the marketing part of it. And for the past one year or so I have been doing it, but I’ve not been very successful in monetizing it in a way that would replace like a full time income. Right. So I worked in corporate and I hated it. So I wanted to do something and which was exactly the reason that I started my journey of becoming a health coach. But then if your passion is not able to also get your income, it lasts only so far. So I don’t know. But what I figured out in all these years is I know there are a lot of moving parts that go in a business and I feel that I will be in a much better situation if I’m working with a coach, like a business coach because I work very well with outer accountability. So I see that happening and the kind of coaches that I’m eyeing or who I think would be a good fit for me for my business, it’s. It’s quite an investment to work with them. And I have already like spent so much in my certification and everything that I’m not in a place to do that right this moment. So what I have thought about is to like bite the bullet and like I’m thinking about getting a job on the side to get some income and be able to use that income for the coaching and you know, building my business. Totally. So I just want, I don’t know, assurance or like some coaching on this idea of mine because I thought of going back to a nine to five kind of a work or like desk work or anything like that. Like it sucks my soul, you know. And so, so that’s why I’m looking more towards jobs that are similar to what I do right now. Like it has to be in a health or wellness field. Like I could totally be like working towards newer things and like get into it and like probably like kind of get a job which could pay me higher than like a side health kind of a job. But I still want to do something that I’m passionate about. Right. Otherwise it just. I get burned out. Right. So I just need a little bit of coaching towards this approach that I’m leaning towards. Is it right? How will you know if it’s right? I’ll only know it if I take the step and I go forward with it. Yeah. How will you know if it’s wrong? It won’t work. What does that mean, it won’t work? What would that look like? It would look like that I would get two complesent in the job and the security of whatever pitch I could get and then, you know, not move out of my comfort zone of like being an entrepreneur which is like sometimes working and doing the things which are not generally, always revenue generating. Yeah. Right. So. So you’re saying that you’ll know it’s not the right thing if after you take the job you get. You’re doing less in your business. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I might like. I’m afraid I’m. I might probably just like, like shun this idea completely and then get back to the comfort zone of being like just earning my salary from the job. Yeah. And I would hate that. I would just hate that. I just want to use it as. Just don’t want to have any emotions attached to it and just look at, look at it just as a way to fund my business and like build a life that I want to actually build, you know. Let’s do that. Okay. When will you know if it’s working or not working? If it was the right thing or the wrong thing when I don’t know if there’s a timeline to it, but if I see myself kind of forgetting about the business idea and like just getting complacent that, oh, this is like already tough, like I have enough on my plate, I can’t, I can’t do anymore. So if those kind of thoughts start to come and I become complacent with those feelings. So. Yep. Then I would say that I’m. I have taken a wrong. A step in the wrong direction. Yep. And then how would you self correct if you’ve taken a step in the. In the quote unquote. I don’t really believe in right and wrong here, but like let’s. I’m doing your quotes for everyone who’s listening. In the wrong direction. If you’ve taken a step in the wrong direction, how would you self correct? It will become very difficult because I’ll see some income coming and so that would mean like giving up on that income. It will become like, like right now it’s easier, but then it’ll become very difficult to like leave that income on the table and like get back to like building, building the business part of things. So I’m afraid like if I, I’ll be able to self correct. Yes. I think that’s the actual problem. Yeah. But then it stops me from taking these steps to like do the job too. Right. So you’re not taking the steps to do the job and you’re not really taking the steps to do your business and you’re kind of like in this, in between doing nothing. Right. It’s like I won’t be able to self correct. And right now you’re not self correcting. Correct. Correct. What do you want? I want to be financially independent, doing the stuff that I’m passionate about. What’s the fastest way to do that? Have a coach, a good business coach. The fastest way to get a business coach? Be able to afford them. What’s the fastest way to afford it to get a job? Let’s do it. Let’s just keep the motions away from what will happen or not. Maybe just block it. Like, okay, six months of salary would give me enough funds to like invest. Yeah, I’m just looking forward to work for six months. What if you decide to check in with yourself every three months? Like make an appointment with yourself, put it on the calendar, set reminders, tell all of the people I have an appointment with myself in three months. I’m going to ask myself these questions, you know Am I making the money that I want to make to be financially independent? Am I on my way to pursuing a business coach? Am I whatever, whatever questions you need to really dig in and answer. Make an appointment with your future self to redecide. Okay. Am I in the right place? Am I doing the right thing? Am I on the right track? And then in three months again and it’s just this, like, I mean, it could take you 10 minutes. Am I in the right place? Am I doing the right thing? Am I on the right track? Yeah. So my question is, what does that, when I say these words, what comes up for you? What does that feel like for you? That feels that I need to be very disciplined every three months of doing this reassessment, regroup and like reassess this because I don’t trust myself because I change my mind, you know, after three months. If I’m feeling something else based on what my reality is, then, then I might just change my mind, you know, that I might forget what I thought about what I planned, that this was a long term goal. You have to stick with it. It’s feeling good in the moment right now. It’s feeling comfortable and I might just change my mind. So I’m feeling that I need to be like, I need somebody to keep me accountable and like disciplined that. No, girl, this was a plan and we are not like going back on it until whatever time we have decided to, you know, let’s say we have given us six months or year. We will, we will. This is a container that we will stay in for this decision. We will not change our decision. So it’s so interesting you. We don’t have much time, but I’m going to go there. I want to point out that your thought of like a business coach, like, that’s what I need. I need a business coach. I need someone to hold me accountable. You’re putting your results and your power outside of yourself. Yeah, like the business coach is the way that I’m going to do it. Someone else holding me accountable, that’s the way I’m going to do it. A different job. That’s, that’s how it’s going to be done. Because I feel that if you’ve read the book the Four Tendencies by Gretchen Rubin, I just feel that if I am not accountable for anything, if somebody keeps me accountable, like I have a personal trainer that I pay heavily, although I know everything and I can train people just so that I show up every three days a week to train with him. If somebody keeps Me accountable. Like, I’m the best person. Showing up, like my emotions are not attached to it and I’m like showing up like my best self. But if there’s no accountability, like, the delayed gratification is very difficult for me. It’s. I can’t trust myself with that. So I want to point something out here, that accountability is just a thought. So here’s what I mean. I pay my trainer heavily. But your thought is what makes you show up. They don’t come to your house and like put on your body and like, right, yeah. They’re not. Like, there’s no guns involved or like there’s none of that. You’re going on your own will. Right. Because of a thought that you have. Not because of money, not because of the person, but because of a thought that’s like, there’s accountability here. Exactly. What you don’t believe yet is that you can use that same thought with yourself. Self accountability. So you’re like, oh, I gotta go pay someone and have this other person so that I can have thoughts like, oh, well, I’ve invested a lot, so I need to go do this. Like, what if you just believe I’ve invested a lot and I need to do this. Someone is waiting on me. Like, that’s the thought. With a, with like a trainer. Right? Like they’re waiting for me. Yep. What if you believe your people that need help are waiting? So just notice that. I’m not saying don’t get a coach. I’m not saying. But I’m saying that really it’s your thoughts holding you accountable. I promise you. And that’s so powerful. I have just not. I just don’t have evidence for. You know it that. But you do. You show up to your trainer three times a week and they’re not, they’re not dragging you out of your house. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You’re like. But it’s different. Like, just start thinking that. Like, what if it’s not different? What if I can trust myself? What if. What would it. What would it translate into like intangible terms if, like, you know, what would you do if you could trust yourself? Like, block our. Block the hour in the day, then do what I’ve decided to do for that container of time. Because you’re someone who can trust yourself because people are waiting on you, because you’re accountable to your own business. Got it, Got it. That’s like a mind effort, isn’t it? Like, yeah, yeah. What I’m learning here is that keep working on the investment part because of course it’s going to, like, give you results that are unmatched. But, like, don’t completely give out your power to somebody else, a trainer, a coach, to take you forward in life. Because ultimately you need to learn to leave their hand and walk on your own. So because you’re the one creating the result, like, so pay me, right? Yeah. But I mean, I’m not coming to your house being like, let’s go, it’s time for a coaching call. Yeah. You show up on your own because of your own thought and your own power and your own decision to get yourself a result has nothing to do with me. Right. Like, that is on you. That is your. That is your powerful place. That has nothing to do with me. When you look at Kristin Carter and you’re like, oh, she’s the reason I’m making progress. Or like, that’s why I’m showing up to focus. No, it’s not. You are. You’re the reason. You’re holding yourself accountable. You’re using your own thoughts to get yourself a result. You can trust yourself. You have totally got the power in the situation. I’m just getting a little thought. Could it be, like, when there was somebody involved, like a trainer or a coach or like you here, it just kind of becomes more interactive and more fun. Sure. So it becomes easier to do it. Totally. And so then the question is with your business, how can I make this more fun? How can I make this more interactive? How can I make this, like, even better for me? Because I like interactive things and I like fun things, Right? Yeah. All right, I gotta go. I love you so much. I’m so glad you came. This was fun. Thank you so much. This was really helpful. This is really helpful. So glad. Okay, bye. All right, friends, that was the best. Thank you for being amazing. I am going to see you very soon. Hey, adhder. I see you. I know exactly what it’s like to feel lost, confused, frustrated, and like, no one out there really understands the way that your brain works. That’s why I created Focused. Focused is my monthly coaching program where I lead you through a step by step process of understanding yourself, feeling better, and creating the life that you know you’re to meant meant for. You’ll study, be coached, grow, and make amazing changes alongside of other educated professional adults with ADHD from all over the world. Visit ihaveadhd. Com Focused to learn more.
