Podcast Episode #84: When You Get Nothing Done

This episode is sponsored by Cure Hydration. All right, I’m going to be real with you. Drinking water is boring. My ADHD brain is like, wait, we have to do this again? Like every day, multiple times. What in the world? And because I’m running from meetings to coaching calls to kid chaos, staying hydrated is not something I’m naturally good at. It’s not something I naturally think about. That’s why I’ve been obsessed with Cure hydration packs lately. Cure is a plant based hydrating electrolyte mix with no added sugar, only 25 calories, and it actually tastes good. The watermelon and berry pomegranate have been on repeat for me. I’m actually like really running low on those flavors, which is so sad. They’re refreshing without being too sweet or artificial. It feels like my water finally has a little bit of personality, which I enjoy. I really do. What I love most is that CURE uses a science backed formula that hydrates as effectively as an IV drip. So when I’m scrambling through my day forgetting my water again, CURE helps me to catch up fast. I throw a few packs in my bag and it makes drinking enough water simple. Which for my ADHD brain is basically a miracle. So staying hydrated isn’t just about water. You also need electrolytes. And that’s why I love cure. It’s clean, tastes great, and it actually works. And bonus, CURE is FSA HSA approved so you can use those funds to stay hydrated. The smart way for I have ADHD Podcast listeners. You can get 20% off your first order@curehydration.com ihaveadhd with the code ihaveadhd and if you get a post purchase survey make sure to tell them that you heard about Cure right here on the podcast. It really does help to support the show. Don’t just drink more water, Upgrade it with Cure. Save over $200 when you book weekly stays with Vrbo this winter. If you need to work, why not work from a chalet? If you haven’t seen your college besties since, well, college, you need a week to fully catch up in a snowy cabin. And if you have to stay in a remote place with your in laws, you should save over $200 a week. That’s the least we can do. So you might as well start digging out the long johns because saving over $200 on a week long snowcation rental is in the cards book now@vrbo.com. Welcome to the I have ADHD podcast where it’s all about education, encouragement and coaching for adults with adhd. I’m your host, Kristen Carter, and I have adhd. Let’s chat about the frustrations, humor and challenges of adulting relationships, working and achieving with this neurodevelopmental disorder. I’ll help you understand your unique brain, unlock your potential, and move from point A to point B. Hey, what’s up? This is Kristen Carter and you are listening to The I have ADHD podcast, episode number 84. I am medicated, I am caffeinated, and I am ready to to roll. Today’s podcast is going to be a little bit different in that it is just me telling you all of the things I didn’t get done today. Zero accomplished today, completely 100% off schedule. Got nothing done that I plan to do. Zero. It is 12:25pm and I have been sitting on my couch since. Since 8:30. And prior to that I was just trying to survive my morning. I had an appointment this morning to get my blood drawn. We’re just getting like our life insurance renewed and I had to get like the typical blood draw type thing. So when I woke up, I couldn’t drink coffee. Or at least that’s what I think. I know she said don’t eat. I wasn’t sure if she said don’t drink and I just wanted to be on the safe side, so I didn’t drink any coffee. So I was up for like an hour and a half before she got to my house and then she came. I already had a headache by then, you know, trying to parent three children and get them out the door to school, having not eaten or had coffee or been medicated. Like not super easy. And then she left and I just sat on the couch and drank my coffee and like four hours later, here we are. Here we are, my friend. So today is zero accomplished and we’re totally fine with it. I had high hopes, including recording several very value rich podcasts for you. And I almost didn’t even press record on this podcast because I was like, what do I really have to say? But here’s what I know to be true when I show up as a human. Not carefully curated, not perfectly consistent, but 100% as a human. You get to see what’s possible. You get to see what’s possible for you. It’s possible to lose four hours of your day and be totally fine. Like, it’s just, there it goes. It’s already gone. It’s 12:30. And you know what? It’s okay. It is okay. So two things that I did do, number one. I spent probably three of the four hours on Instagram doing a very important task, and here’s what it was. Adding highlights. You know what that is, right? Like, you have your Instagram and then you can add story highlights. Well, I’ve never done that before, and I wanted to add highlights, and. And I spent hours and hours doing it because that seemed like a useful way to spend my time. But while I was doing that, I was finding all of these amazing testimonials about Focused because I often, you know, will just, like, repost them in my. I will post them in my stories. So I went into my story archives, and I was just, like, looking through and adding things to different highlights, and I found an amazing testimonial about Focus that I want to read for you now. So this is from my client Courtney, who also happens to be a coach. She said, I joined focused 20 days ago, and I’m already seeing a tremendous difference. For 15 years, I looked at my diagnosis as a deficit and as a shameful secret. I built systems and routines that worked for me. And then the pandemic happened, and they no longer existed. For months, I floundered, spun, and grew frustrated with why I couldn’t get it together. Now, in Focused, I’m accepting where I’m at and learning that it doesn’t mean I can’t change or grow or improve. Plus, I’m surrounded by kind, smart people who are facing similar obstacles. It helps to know that we’re not alone, especially right now when isolation is very real. Thank you for creating this community and providing immense value that just clicks. That’s so fun, my friends. I just love, love, love to be a part of a community where we get to cheer each other on and be so similar to one another that we just totally get each other, which is one of the reasons why I love showing up here and being like, you guys. I lost my entire morning. I don’t know where it went. It’s just gone. And I know that you listening like, you get it. A neurotypical is not going to get that. They’re going to be like, excuse me, I do not understand. But you, my dear listener with adhd, I know you get it. I know you’ve had mornings where you’re like, I spun out and did absolutely nothing, and now my house is a mess, and, like, I have nothing to show for anything, so it’s totally fine. A year, two, three, four, ten years ago, I would have totally beat myself up. I would have told myself that, you know, I Wasted my time. I need to get it together and I need to do all of the things to make sure that I’m productive. But here is what I know to be true. Productivity ebbs and flows. Doesn’t look the same day to day. Today was an ebb. There was no flow. And I can make space for that. I can totally make space for the ebb. Because when the flow happens, I welcome it. I jump on that train. I am super productive when that happens. But today was totally not that way. Zero accomplished. Remember, we are not robots. We are humans. We are adults with adhd. And sometimes that looks like hours disappearing without our even realizing what is happening. Another thing I did today, just because we’re kind of like shooting the breeze here, is I have been researching charities for focused members and myself to support in December because I thought it would be really fun to kind of rally around a cause. And so I’m kind of, I’m researching charities right now that are not politically or religiously, religiously affiliated with anybody. And so I just really want to make sure that we are keeping things neutral up in here. And so I’ve been on various websites watching videos and researching and bawling like a baby because there are so many amazing humans in the world doing so many good things. So I was on probably six or seven websites today, researching, fact checking, taking it over to charitywatch.org making sure that the organization is like legit and that their money is being spent or they say they’re going to be spending their money. But I’ve also been watching their videos and reading their testimonials and just like, it’s just incredible to know that there are humans out there dedicating their lives to helping get people out of slavery, helping get people out of sex trafficking, making sure that people have clean water, making sure that women in Africa have access to mental health and depression resources like that. Those kinds of things just remind me that there is so much goodness in the world. And so I just wanted to bring you a taste of that because, you know, it’s 2020. We all need a reminder that there is goodness in, in the world, that there are selfless people in the world doing amazing things. So I have a huge pile of tissues sitting here. And I am not a crier. You guys know that. I am an enneagram8. I have like a heart of steel when it comes to. I just, I just do. It doesn’t mean I don’t love. I do love deeply. But one of the things that helps me to be a really good coach is that I don’t let my emotions get swayed by everyone’s drama. Right? Like, that is actually one of my biggest assets. But it also means that, you know, I don’t get swayed by people’s drama, meaning I don’t do a lot of crying and feeling. And so today to just like sit on the couch, drink my coffee, research all of these nonprofits and ball like a baby. It was so cathartic and beautiful. Quite the mental picture, I’m sure, for you. But I enjoyed every second of it. So I just want to check in with you and ask you. How do you treat yourself when you lose several hours of your day? How do you treat yourself when you know that you had plans to do XYZ and it totally hasn’t happened and it’s too late now and it’s not going to get done until tomorrow? How do you treat yourself when ADHD shows up in a very big way? How do you treat yourself when you’re off schedule and you didn’t realize that it would be a thing, but it’s a whole thing? How do you show up for you? Are you safe in your own mind? Are you kind? Are you gentle? Are you nurturing and loving to yourself? Or do you beat yourself up and judge yourself and tell yourself that this is just more evidence that you’re never going to get it together? Because I just want to offer to you that we often think that the judgment is necessary. We think that we’re doing ourselves a favor. We think that we’re holding ourselves to a quote, unquote, higher standard and making it so that we will be more accomplished, that we will be more productive. And I just think that that shit does not work. It just does not work. Do you know what works? Being kind, understanding. Knowing that ADHD is a whole thing. That sometimes no matter how together you think that your life is, it creeps up on you and it steals six hours of your life. Sometimes it just does that. The world is not ending. Everything is fine. I believe with all of my heart that the things that I was going to get done today, I’ll get them done. It’s okay. I will get them done and they will be good. They will be high quality, value packed things. Right? But today it’s not going to happen. I’m not going to force it. I’m not going to beat myself into submission. I like myself too much to do that. I’m wondering, do you. Do you like yourself enough to not beat yourself up? Do you like yourself enough to accept Yourself. Do you like yourself enough to, instead of judging yourself, encourage yourself? So here’s what I plan to do. I have a consultation in 20 minutes and then a Focus Business and side Hustle call after that, which, by the way, is my favorite call of the month. We get to talk about money and business and I get to help all the people make all the money. And it is so much fun. But anyway, here’s what I’m going to do. I’m going to wrap up this podcast. I’m going to send it over to my podcast editor who I love, shout out to Karen. Hi. Love you. Okay? And then I’m going to do a thought download. I’m going to get all of my crazy thoughts out of my head. I’m going to encourage myself with the truth. And the truth is that I am valuable, I am worthy, I am lovable, no matter how productive I was today. Then I’m gonna make a plan to get this stuff done tomorrow or Saturday. Yes, I will probably have to work on Saturday because I lost six hours today. It’s okay. It’s okay. Did I lose six or four? I don’t know. The number is changing. My husband says that I exaggerate to prove a point, and he is 100% right. I totally exaggerate to prove points. So I guess I lost four hours today. Let’s be honest. Kristin Carter. I’m going to make a plan for that time lost. I’m probably going to work on Saturday. It’s not a big deal. Not going to complain about it or beat myself up about it or tell myself I should have done it a different way. I shouldn’t have done it a different way. This is the way I should have done it. How do I know that? Because this is the way it happened. This is the way I did it. It’s fine. This is reality. One of the best and most important things that I’ve learned in the last couple years is to accept reality, not fight against it. When I fight reality, I lose, but only 100% of the time. Anybody name the amazing woman who said that? Byron, Katie. Byron, Katie. When I fight with reality, I lose, but only 100% of the time. So fighting reality in this situation would be like, I wish this didn’t happen. I shouldn’t have done that. Why was I so stupid? I should have done. And, you know, list the things I should have done. I should have made a better plan. I should have set an alarm. I should have, whatever, set a reminder. That would be fighting reality. I’m so stupid. I can’t believe I let this happen. I’m never going to get it right. I’m never going to get this done. I’m never going to finish that workbook. Fighting reality. This is what accepting reality looks like. Well, I just lost four hours. I’m glad that I took care of myself. I totally understand why it happened. I was off of my schedule. I didn’t have coffee or meds or food until much later than usual. And I just was not in a normal place. And that is okay. Let’s make a plan. Let’s take care of ourselves and let’s move forward. Friend I invite you today to remember you have adhd. You are not a robot. Your life is not a curated Facebook or Instagram feed. You are a human with highs and lows and ebbs and flows. And you can accomplish nothing today and still be totally okay. Have an amazing week. I will see you next time. A few years ago, I went looking for help. I wanted to find someone to teach me how to feel better about myself and to help me improve my organization, productivity, time management, emotional regulation. You know, all the things that we adults with ADHD struggle with. I couldn’t find anything, so I researched and I studied and I hired coaches and I figured it out. Then I created Focused for you. Focused is my monthly coaching membership where I teach educated professional adults how to accept their ADHD brain and hijack their ability to get stuff done. Hundreds of people from all over the world are already benefiting from this program, and I’m confident that you will too. Go to ihaveadhd.com focused for all the details.