Episode #281: The Bully in Your Brain: How ADHDers Can Quiet Their Inner Critic

Listen or Watch this episode on:
Kristen Carder

About This Episode

This episode is personal for me. Over the past six months, I’ve explored the ADHDer’s inner critic intensively, drawing insights from influential books like “Healing the Shame That Binds You,” “Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving,” and “Rethinking Adult ADHD.” While the inner critic isn’t a formal symptom of ADHD, it profoundly impacts those of us with the disorder.

In this episode, we start by examining how negative self-talk, often rooted in childhood criticism and toxic relationships, affects adults with ADHD. This inner critic can lead to self-hate and hypervigilance, causing toxic shame and hindering personal growth. I share my own struggles with shame rumination and the challenge of cultivating a positive inner voice, emphasizing the importance of self-compassion.

To combat negative self-talk, I suggest strategies like journaling, verbalizing criticisms, and using thought-stopping techniques. Recognizing and documenting positive aspects of life can foster a healthier self-perception. Additionally, support systems like trauma-informed therapy and specialized coaching programs play a vital role in managing the inner critic and associated shame.

Managing the inner critic is challenging but achievable with the right strategies and support systems. Want my help? Join FOCUSED for an entire course with a step-by-step process on how ADHDers can quiet their inner critic. 

Here are the 2 studies I mention In the episode:

Pre-Order Today

You're Not in Trouble

The ADHD Guide to Building Healthy, Connected Relationships

An empowering self-coaching guide to help ADHDers understand, repair, and build healthy relationships — with friends, romantic partners, family, and at work — from the creator of the I Have ADHD podcast.

Get The Best of the podcast now with our Podcast Roadmap.

This is a clear and easy podcast roadmap so that you can know for SURE that you’re hearing the very best of the I Have ADHD podcast.

Related Episodes

Episode #443: When They Don’t Believe Your ADHD Diagnosis

Episode #442: Hey ADHDer, You’re Not Bad at Boundaries. You’re Ignoring Your Limits.

Episode #440: 5 Reasons to Cancel Me Before the Book Comes Out

Stop Struggling Alone.
Start Thriving With FOCUSED.

A proven coaching program designed specifically for adults with ADHD who want to gain clarity, build confidence, and take control of their lives.

Join a community of hundreds of ADHDers

Learning About My Brain...

Changed Everything

Hi, I’m Kristen Carder—ADHD expert, podcast host, and certified coach who’s been exactly where you are. Diagnosed at 21, I spent years cycling through planners, courses, and systems that never quite worked. Everything changed when I discovered the power of understanding my ADHD brain and the transformative impact of community support.

Now, after 15+ years of research and experience, I’ve helped thousands of adults with ADHD thrive. I’m here to show you how understanding your brain can transform your life, just like it did for mine.

ADHD Tips That Actually Make Sense

Follow @i.have.adhd.podcast and join our Instagram community for daily strategies, relatable content, and real talk about ADHD