This episode is sponsored by CURE Hydration. All right, I’m going to be real with you. Drinking water is boring. My ADHD brain is like, wait, we have to do this again? Like every day, multiple times. What in the world? And because I’m running from meetings to coaching calls to kid chaos, staying hydrated is not something I’m naturally good at. It’s not something I naturally think about. That’s why I’ve been obsessed with Cure hydration packs lately. Cure is a plant based hydrating electrolyte mix with no added sugar, only 25 calories, and it actually tastes good. The watermelon and berry pomegranate have been on repeat for me. I’m actually like really running low on those flavors, which is so sad. They’re refreshing without being too sweet or artificial. It feels like my water finally has a little bit of personality, which I enjoy. I really do. What I love most is that CURE uses a science backed formula that hydrates as effectively as an IV drip. So when I’m scrambling through my day forgetting my water again, CURE helps me to catch up fast. I throw a few packs in my bag and it makes drinking enough water simple, which for my ADHD brain is basically a miracle. So staying hydrated isn’t just about water. You also need electrolytes. And that’s why I love Cure. It’s clean, tastes great, and it actually works. And bonus, CURE is FSA HSA approved. So you can use those funds to stay hydrated. The smart way for I have ADHD podcast listeners, you can get 20% off your first order@curehydration.com I have ADHD with the code I have ADHD. And if you get a post purchase survey, make sure to tell them that you heard about Cure right here on the podcast. It really does help to support the show. Don’t just drink more water, upgrade it with cure. Welcome to the I have ADHD podcast where it’s all about education, encouragement and coaching for adults with adhd. I’m your host Kristin Carter and I have adhd. Let’s chat about the frustrations, humor and challenges of adulting relationships, working and achieving with this neurodevelopmental disorder. I’ll help you understand your unique brain, unlock your potential and move from point A to point B. Hey, what’s up? This is Kristen Carter and you’re listening to The I have ADHD podcast, episode number 100. I am medicated, I am caffeinated and I am ready to roll you guys. 100. Your girl did it. Shocking, really. It is shocking. But whether you’ve been listening since day one or this is your first time pressing play on the I have ADHD podcast, I want to welcome you warmly and let you know that you’re in the right place. You’re among friends. I am your people, and you are my people, and I’m so glad that you’re here. Now. I want to use this episode 100 and the next few episodes as a sort of do over, as a way to add more value into the world, but definitely do over. I started this podcast at the very, very end of 2018, and the work that I put out there, it was definitely B minus work, y’. All. It was B minus work. I had no idea how to podcast. I hadn’t found my voice yet, you know, like my host voice. And I was just the very beginning of my journey into understanding thoughts and feelings and mindset work in general. So I want to do over, y’. All. Can I. Okay. So, like, it’s fine that the first couple episodes were B minus work. It’s totally fine. It’s been impactful. There’s a lot of evidence for it having a positive impact on the world, but having the opportunity to record a do over episode or couple of episodes, it’s really important to me because I want the episodes that have, like, the very basics of adhd, these important foundational concepts to be recorded by a professional podcaster. You know what I’m saying? Which is me now, I’m not a newbie podcaster anymore. Not the version of me who spent two months cursing and crying and agonizing over getting her first podcast out into the world, which, by the way, ended up being 9 minutes and 45 seconds long. When I think about that, you guys, 9 minutes and 45 seconds. All of the effort and discomfort and like I said, crying and cursing and the work that went into recording that first episode, and it was nine minutes long. Bless my heart. Bless my heart. So anyway, today I’m going to reintroduce myself as if this was episode number one. And we’re going to do a deep dive into what ADHD looks like in adults, okay? We’re going to cover the symptoms and the impairments and the qualifiers for adult adhd. And it’s going to be A plus work, not B minus work. And I’m really excited about that. So let me just reiterate. B minus work is awesome. It definitely can change the world. But I want to go back, I want to have a do over and put some A plus work out there, okay? So first, let me introduce myself. My name is Kristin Carter, and I have ADHD. I was diagnosed and medicated at the age of 21, but I had no idea, you guys, I had no idea the extent to which ADHD affected every single aspect of my life. So because of that, I lived most of my life thinking that I was a bad person. Or maybe not a bad person per se. Maybe not bad, but definitely not as good as everyone else. I wasn’t as good as those people who could organize or show up on time or remember people’s birthdays or follow through with what they said they were going to do. So it wasn’t until I started to research ADHD symptoms for my day job, which was a learning center that I owned, that I truly began to understand the scope of adhd. And as I began to understand the symptoms of this neurodevelopmental disorder, I was able to gain so much more awareness and compassion for myself. And the journey to stop hating myself and judging myself led me to becoming a life coach. So I’m now a certified life coach, certified by the Life Coach School. And I help adults with ADHD reach their potential. And it’s the most fun I’ve ever had. Like, it’s so freaking fun. So today we’re going to talk about the symptoms and impairments of adhd. And before we do that, it’s important for you to know and understand that I’m not a doctor, I’m not a psychologist, I’m not a psychiatrist. Okay? I’m a woman with adhd. I’m an entrepreneur, and I’m a life coach who has coached hundreds of adults with adhd. Right? I’ve read and I’ve researched extensively, but nothing in this or any other episode of the I have ADHD Podcast should ever be used in place of medical advice or medical treatment. Okay? So, like, you are all grown adults, and I trust you to filter this information through your adult human brain. You know you best. You know what’s best for you. So as we go through this episode, I want you to really try to balance everything you hear with your own internal knowing, with your own internal authority. Okay? All right, cool. So as we get rolling here, I want to let you know where I’ve gathered my info from. So we’re going to go deeply into all of the symptoms, and it’s important for you to know, since I very clearly stated I’m not a doctor or a psychiatrist or a psychologist, where am I getting my info from? All right? So first and foremost, my. My absolute favorite ADHD researcher and clinical psychologist is Dr. Russell Barkley. Love him. He has done so much good on behalf of the ADHD community, and we are forever indebted to him. So Barclay’s book, Taking Charge of Adult adhd, Total Game Changer, highly recommend. And a lot of the ADHD symptoms and impairments that I will speak about today come from his research. Okay. In addition, Dr. Russell Ramsey, who co founded and now directs UPenn’s adult ADHD treatment center, has several really, really incredible books on ADHD. Adult ADHD, that is including one of my favorites. It was designed for clinicians, but I found it really helpful as a coach. And that one is called Rethinking Adult adhd. And I’ve used that in the compilation of the symptoms that I talk about on this episode. And lastly, Dr. Ari Tuckman. I believe he’s at Westchester, so I love that two of these dudes are Pennsylvania peeps. I think that’s amazing. So Dr. Ari Tuchman, his book More Attention, Less Deficit was really helpful to me in gaining a more complete understanding and a broader perspective of adhd. Again, highly recommend. And I’ll be using some of his ideas, findings, perspective in this episode as well. And of course, this isn’t a comprehensive list. Dr. Edward Hallowell has some incredible books which I reference often in other episodes. And even Dr. Amen, who I know is controversial, but he deserves a shout out here, too, and there are many others. Okay, this is not an exhaustive list of ADHD experts, but I do want you to know, like, where am I getting my info from for this episode? And then you can go and do your own research. Research. Because, again, you are a smart adult with adhd. Okay? So those three books taking Charge of Adult adhd, More Attention, Less Deficit, and Rethinking Adult ADHD are my primary sources. Love them. And if you want a simple printout so that you can, like, circle the symptoms that you identify with or maybe even take them to a diagnostic appointment to discuss with your doctor, you can grab that resource from my website, ihaveadhd.com so I’ve compiled the symptoms that we’ve talked about today into just, like, a very simple printout. All you do is go to my website, click on the symptoms, and the printout’s there for you at the bottom. All right? Okay. So let’s get into it. What does adult ADHD look like? For years and years, there’s been this stigma that only white boys have adhd, right? So we can all picture that kid in the classroom bouncing off the walls and shooting spitballs at classmates while their teachers like, trying to teach. And sure, that’s one of the ways that ADHD might present itself, but I hope that this podcast, this episode, but especially just like all of the episodes in this podcast, help us all to move past that stereotype, that stigma, and we just kind of broaden our perspective of what ADHD looks like and how it manifests itself. Okay, There are two things that we need to deeply understand. Number one, ADHD does not discriminate. You don’t have to be a white 11 year old boy to have ADHD. It can be any race, any gender, any age, any socioeconomic status, okay? It doesn’t matter. ADHD does not discriminate. And then, number two, ADHD is a spectrum, okay? It has varying degrees of severity. And while we probably all do share some very common threads, there might be some things that some of us struggle with more than others, and that’s totally okay. So if I list, you know, some things here that you don’t identify with or relate to, that’s okay, right? It’s not like you have to have every single one of these symptoms or impairments in order to qualify as being adhd. Okay, before we get rolling here, I just want to talk very briefly about the difference between an ADHD symptom and, and an ADHD impairment. So, according to Dr. Russell Barclay, in his book Taking Charge of Adult ADHD, symptoms are the ways a disorder expresses itself in thoughts and actions. Impairments are the adverse consequences that result from showing those symptoms. Okay, so we’re going to talk mostly about the symptoms. Let me just first, though, give you some examples of impairments. And so again, this is, according to Dr. Russell Barclay, typical adolescent and adult impairments of poor functioning at work, frequent job changes, risky sexual behavior or increased teen pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases, unsafe driving like speeding and frequent accidents, difficulties managing finances, problems in dating or marital relationships, and less common but notable antisocial activities like lying and stealing and fighting that lead to frequent policing, contact arrests, and even time in jail. Okay? Often associated with a greater risk for illegal drug and abuse. Generally, less healthy lifestyle like less exercise, more sedentary self entertainment such as video games, et cetera, et cetera. So while those are not symptoms per se, they would never be used as, like, diagnostic criteria. They are common impairments. And again, remember, an impairment is the adverse consequence that results from showing the symptoms. Okay, I just wanted to make that distinction because nobody had ever taught me that before and I was completely fascinated by it. So let’s chat about the symptoms. Okay? Impulsivity is huge, right? We have a lot of trouble stopping and thinking. We do not have brakes. Okay? I think it’s Dr. Hallowell who says, we have a Ferrari engine. Bicycle breaks. Okay? We interrupt people a lot, make rash decisions, jump to conclusions, have very little patience for waiting our turn. We react too quickly and often impulsively start projects without considering the steps involved. Right? And then we get frustrated or bored and then we impulsively quit the project or task. Oh, yeah, yeah. Impulsivity is a huge, huge, huge thing. Okay? Obviously distractibility is a huge component of adhd, okay? It’s not that we can’t pay attention. We actually pay attention to too many things. Hear me, hear me so hear me so good. It’s not that we can’t pay attention. We have plenty of attention. We have trouble constraining our attention to the right things at the right time. We pay attention to too many things. We have the inability to ignore irrelevant noises and conversations or visual stimulus around us. Inability to block out unnecessary thoughts in our minds. Our minds just race and race and race and race, and we’re completely distracted by our thoughts. Sometimes inability to focus on what’s most important, which most of the time is the task in front of us, right? We can’t seem to stick to just one thing until it’s finished. Something more exciting or more interesting always distracts us. And maybe I shouldn’t use the word always, but that would be very common Now, I’ve titled this section Gratification Junkie. We are gratification junkies. And here’s what I mean. Here’s how Dr. Russell Barclay puts it. He says we struggle to resist short term pleasure in exchange for long term reward. Right? So maybe you can’t seem to make yourself do the things that you really don’t like doing. You have no tolerance for boredom. Tedious menial tasks make you feel like you want to die, you don’t see the value in it, then it won’t get done. And this is really important. This one right here, you’re controlled by the now, okay? Now is what’s right in front of us. And we really struggle to care about the future. So like Barclay says, we struggle to resist short term pleasure in exchange for long term reward. Most of us are going from short term pleasure to short term pleasure to short term pleasure. And we’re not getting the long term reward of accomplishing major goals. Okay? There’s a lot of restlessness involved, especially with the hyperactive type of adhd. Okay, so maybe as a kid, you presented as being really hyperactive and energetic, but it probably looks different now that you’re an adult. Okay, so maybe your thoughts are constantly running a mile a minute, and you have trouble resting and relaxing and settling down and sleeping. Right? Maybe you fidget, you tap your foot or your pencil. You chew gum. You have trouble sitting still. You hum the same song lyrics over and over and over and over. Right? You think too fast, react too fast, drive too fast, speak too fast, act too fast. Like, everything is just really fast for me, because I am the hyperactive type. It’s like this internal agitation. And until I switched medications, I really had trouble quieting that internal agitation. And another thing that was really helpful was all of the mindset work that I do, because when your thoughts are racing and you don’t know how to manage them and control them, then you’re just agitated all the time. You’re just going from one agitating task to the next. Yeah, it’s not super fun. All right, let’s move on. Time blindness is a huge component of ADHD, no matter if you’re 12 or 24 or 94. Okay. It’s more than just poor time management. So I want you to, like, yes, poor time management is how it manifests itself, but actually what’s happening is we have zero awareness of time. We have this deficit in our executive functioning that doesn’t allow us to understand the measurement of time. So here’s how that looks. We can’t accurately estimate how long a task will take. We’re always running late. We always think that we have more time than we do, and we procrastinate or put things off until the last minute. And we never learn from that mistake. Like, we just. It’s just constant. Are you relating to this, Arya? Okay, good. Me too. A big part, which I wish someone had told me when I was diagnosed, is that controlling our emotions is not something that comes naturally to us. We really struggle to understand, identify, process, and manage our emotions. So maybe you get more upset than what is, quote unquote, normal for the situation. So, like, everyone else is, like, frustrated, but you’re, like, over the top. Like, you’re just, like, exploding. Speaking of exploding, that is kind of like a characteristic of this emotional dysregulation. We tend to be explosive and unpredictable, and we seem to feel things more intensely than the people around us. Now, of course, that can’t be proven right, because nobody can hop into your body and then hop into somebody else’s body and, like, measure how intensely we feel emotions, but it, it just seems like we feel them more intensely. And I would argue that this is probably because we don’t know how to understand them, identify them, and process them in a way that’s really healthy. Of course, this means that we can get riled up really easily. And this can be on the negative side of emotion. And on the positive side, we can get really excited really fast, which can be really fun. And then on the flip side of that, we can also get really mad really fast. So that emotional self control or emotional regulation is something that has to be learned, that is not innate. It is not something that we just get automatically. It’s something that we have to learn. Another thing that has to do with our executive functioning is our poor working memory. So this, this is a fun one. This is not. No, it’s not fun. So this is like we can’t hold what we need to do in our mind long enough to accomplish the task at hand. So it’s like we set out to do something and poof, it’s just gone. Right. So we forget to do the things that we say we’re going to do. We have so many projects unfinished because we started something and like literally forgot about it. You start something, maybe get distracted. Yeah. Just never remember to go back to it. And this is also really frustrating because it’s the same with our goals. Right? So like we can’t remember our goals long enough to stick to them and see them through to completion. Now that little fun characteristic there combined with being a gratification junkie who struggles to set aside the short term pleasure in order to gain that long term reward. That combined with like poor working memory, it’s like so many of you are frustrated and feeling like you’re not reaching your potential. And I want to normalize that and say, this is why. Okay. This is why when you combine a poor working memory and that desire for immediate gratification, you’re gonna really struggle to reach your goals. Okay, I have three sections left here. So we have zero self reflection. So we have a really hard time assessing how we’re doing, learning from the past and appropriately planning for the future. So managing our behavior across time is very, very difficult. This is why so many of us seem to make the same mistakes over and over and over and nothing seems to improve. Even when people ask you to change, even when you have the conversation and you have the best of intentions, you’re like, yes, I am going to change. I want to do better. I promise I’ll do better and then you just don’t. Because again, poor working memory, right? Combine poor self reflection with poor working memory and there you go. Like, we’ve got a recipe for disaster here. We can’t organize our behavior over time and just like, strategically make changes. This was so frustrating to me before I found coaching. I was always so frustrated, even medicated, like, I’m on medication. What else do I need to do? Why can’t I just get these things done that I want to do? All right? And a huge part of that is because the self reflection component is not natural. It has to be learned. This is also connected with our hyper focus on now, right? So we’re controlled by now, past and future. They’re like, they’re of no importance to us. So we really struggle to reflect on the past. First of all, we have trouble remembering it. And secondly, it’s just like, is it there? Like, time blindness is a real thing. So it’s like, what, what have I done in the past? I’m not even sure. I don’t even know, right? Not very fun. Okay. Organization is a whole thing, right? So like, not just organizing your stuff, but organizing your mind. Okay? Everything just seems really chaotic. There’s really no, like, method or system. So you have trouble organizing your thoughts, your emotions, your tasks, your schedule, your finances, your home, your car, your relationships. Everything just seems jumbled and unorganized. Now this is connected to our inability to prioritize. So prioritization seems really impossible because everything is kind of jumbled and unorganized and everything seems really important. We have a really hard time putting things in order of importance. So when we have, let’s say, five tasks that need to be accomplished most of the time, that leads us to feel paralyzed and not take any action because we tell ourselves, I don’t know where to start, like, which one is the most important. It’s like everything is on the same level of importance and they’re just all screaming at us at once. So organizing them into priority, a list of priorities or whatever, Very, very, very difficult. So organization is a key component to how ADHD manifests itself in most of us. And I want you to keep in mind it’s not just organizing your stuff, it’s organizing your thoughts. It’s understanding and organizing your emotions and time and schedule, like all of those things and figuring out priorities, all of that kind of falls under that umbrella. Very, very difficult to us. And now one of the hallmark traits of an adult with ADHD is that we have trouble with task initiation and task completion. So we have a lot of trouble starting things that are overwhelming or hard or boring, right? And then once we start, we have trouble finishing things. So here’s how that might look like. You can’t just do something because you quote unquote, should do it, right? You need a deadline or a major consequence or a major reward. And even then, sometimes it doesn’t get done. We have a very hard time activating. Okay. You have a hard time motivating yourself to stick with anything but starting a project. Sticking with a project, like, motivation is so fleeting, and we don’t really know how to navigate life without motivation. And so we just tell ourselves, like, oh, I’m just not motivated, and we move on to something else. Okay, this is a really huge one. Persistence. We struggle to persist, to follow through, to finish things that aren’t interesting or that we feel like we haven’t done perfectly. We really struggle to persist in things that are not going according to our plan. And of course, Old Faithful, we can’t resist the urge to do something more fun when we’re supposed to be working or even like, doing something that we want to do, like writing a book or starting a business. There’s this urge to do something more fun. And again, satisfying that urge because we are gratification junkies, that seems to take priority and precedence over the task completion. All right, Some other things that I think are really worth noting. One thing is that most of us with ADHD do not have an internal monologue. We do not have the ability to self talk. This is fascinating because I did not realize this until I was well into my 30s that, like, most people can hear their thoughts and have kind of like a back and forth convo with themselves to figure out and solve a problem. I did not have that capability. I’ve developed it through coaching and through like, a lot of journaling and really bringing awareness and mindfulness into my life. But it’s still not perfect. And yeah, I would definitely say, like, it’s still underdeveloped. And so if you struggle and don’t, like, have this inner monologue that might look like you talking a lot to a lot of people and always needing to process your thoughts and your feelings out loud with someone else, which can be exhausting to other people. Am I right? Yes, I am right because I’ve lived it. See? Yes. Okay. So according to the latest research, and this is from Dr. Barclay’s book Taking Charge of Adult ADHD, the following nine traits can be indicative of adults with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. Here you go, here are the nine traits. You are easily distracted by extraneous thoughts and stimulus. You make decisions impulsively. You have difficulty stopping activities or behaviors when you should do so. You start a project or task without reading or listening to directions carefully. You have difficulty organizing tasks and activities. You fail to follow through on promises or commitments that you make to others. You have trouble doing things in their proper order or sequence. You drive much faster than others. Or if you don’t drive, you have difficulty engaging in leisure activities or doing fun things quietly. And last but not least, you have difficulty sustaining attention on tasks or recreational activities. Okay, so according to Barclay, if you have four to six of the above symptoms and they occur often in your life and you’ve experienced like adverse consequences from these symptoms in your childhood, and it’s worth speaking to a doctor about the possibility of adhd. Now, the next episode is going to be all about how to seek an ADHD diagnosis, the best steps to seeking an ADHD diagnosis. So we’re going to talk more about that in the next episode. But I just wanted to give you a deep dive, a well rounded picture of what ADHD might look like for you as an adult. Because, listen, you do not have to be a small child bouncing off the walls in the classroom in order to qualify as having adhd. For some of you, it looks like being totally spacey and lost in your thoughts. For some of you, it looks like being extremely impulsive. For some of you, it looks like making rash decisions and hopping from job to job. Okay. There are many ways that it can manifest and yes, of course there are common threads, but I want to remind you that it’s a spectrum. It might look different in men versus how it looks in women. It just is going to depend on a lot of factors. So the only person that can diagnose you is a medical professional. And we’re going to talk all about that in our next episode. Okay? All right. Just a reminder. If you would like a printable of the ADHD symptoms and impairments that we discussed on today’s episode, go to my website. I have ADHD.com click on symptoms and you will find a little button there for you to click and download the symptoms list so that you can have it. You can circle which ones you identify with. You can take it with you to your diagnostic appointments or just sleep with it under your pillow or whatever you want to do with it. The whole point of the I have ADHD podcast is to discuss what ADHD looks like and separate our symptoms from who we are as valuable humans in the world. And I hope that today’s episode was the very beginning of that for you. I cannot wait to talk to you next week. I’ll see you then. A few years ago, I went looking for help. I wanted to find someone to teach me how to feel better about myself and to help me improve my organization, productivity, time management, emotional regulation. You know, all the things that we adults with ADHD struggle with. I couldn’t find anything, so I researched and I studied and I hired coaches and I figured it out. Then I created Focused for you. Focused is my monthly coaching membership where I teach educated professional adults how to accept their ADHD brain and hijack their ability to get stuff done. Hundreds of people from all over the world are already benefiting from this program, and I’m confident that you will too. Go to ihaveadhd.com focused for all the details.
