This episode is sponsored by Cure Hydration. You know that moment for me, it’s around like 2 or 3pm when my ADHD brain just decides we’re done for the day. We’re done here. The afternoon slump hits, the lights go off upstairs and suddenly answering an email or doing basically anything feels like climbing a mountain. That’s when I reach for Cure Energy. It’s a clean plant based energy drink mix made with 100 milligrams of natural caffeine and electrolytes so I get the focus and hydration boost I need without jitters, without a crash and without that like I drink battery acid vi that some of the energy drinks have. The peach tea and acai berry flavors are my current go tos. Crisp, refreshing and they don’t taste fake, y’. All. They don’t taste fake. I’ll drink one before recording a session or when I need to get help through like that afternoon drag. And honestly I I drink it anytime. My brain just needs to cooperate. What’s wild is that Cure Energy is only 25 calories and has zero added sugar. It actually helps me stay hydrated while giving me energy. Okay, I love coffee, but coffee could never Staying hydrated isn’t just about water. You also need electrolytes. And that’s why I love CUR Cure. It’s clean, it tastes great and it actually works. And remember, Cure is FSA HSA approved which is amazing. You can use that money to pay for cure and for I have ADHD listeners, you can get 20% off your first order@curehydration.com I have ADHD with the code I have ADHD. And if you do get a post purchase survey, make sure to tell them that you heard about CURE right here on the podcast. It really helps to support the show. Don’t just drink more, upgrade it with cure. Did you know you can opt out of winter with VRBO? Save up to $1,500 for booking a month long stay when thousands of sunny homes are waiting for you, why subject yourself to the cold? Put the snow shovel down, put the parka back in the closet and don’t you dare scrape another windshield. Slip into some flip flops, consider a sunless tan and use the monthly stays filter to save up to fifteen hundred dollars. Book your warm getaway at vrbo.com. Welcome to the I have ADHD Podcast where it’s all about education, encouragement and coaching for adults with adhd. I’m your host Kristin Carter and I have adhd. Let’s chat about the frustrations Humor and challenges of adulting relationships with, working and achieving with this neurodevelopmental disorder. I’ll help you understand your unique brain, unlock your potential and move from point A to point B. Hey, what’s up? This is Kristen Carter and you’re listening to The I have ADHD podcast, episode number 114. I am medicated, I am caffeinated, and I am ready to roll. How are you? How are you? It is summertime. The living is easy. Ish. It is hot outside. It’s like 95 degrees today in Pennsylvania and I could not be happier if I could just like live in an oven. I would be so glad. I love hot weather. I want to move somewhere warm, but for now I will be content with Pennsylvania summers. It is so super fun to be here with you today. Thank you for pressing play on this podcast. I can’t even begin to tell you how grateful I am to have people like you. Yes, you listening and resonating with my thoughts about life and adhd. And I just really feel so much less alone in this world because you are listening. So glad to have you here, my friend. This episode is all about the success that we can have as ADHDers, even though we are inconsistent. And I’m really excited to chat about this because I hit a huge, huge, huge milestone, a marker of success, last week, and I did it inconsistently. Inconsistently, not consistently inconsistently. So we’re going to chat all about that, all about the potential that we have as ADHD ERs to reach our goals, even though we are inconsistent. But before we get to it, I want to remind you that if you are an entrepreneur or if you have an entrepreneurial spirit, my course on becoming a successful inconsistent entrepreneur is happening in less than a week. You’ll want to go to my website, ihaveadhd.com to sign up for that, especially if you’ve been wanting to work with me me or get a taste of what it might be like to work with me. This is a very inexpensive way to do it. So for $49, you get five days of live teaching, live coaching, training. It will include guides and worksheets, and you’ll have lifetime access to everything. Okay? So I’m just going to let you know what you can expect from each day, what you’re going to walk away with. Okay? Because in order to make an investment of your time and money, you want to know what you’re getting. Day one, you’ll walk away with a very clear definition of entrepreneurship success. Your expertise and your offer. Day two, you’ll walk away with a whole new way of looking at yourself, your adhd, consistency and entrepreneurship. Day three, you’ll walk away with an understanding of procrastination and avoidance, like why you do it, how to self soothe and overcome the wall of awful. Day four, you’ll walk away with stuff certainty in exactly which tier of entrepreneurship you are in and what is essential to focus on right now in your business. And you’ll gain clarity on where to go next, like what’s the next step for you. Day five, you’ll walk away with a new attitude toward money, selling and overcoming objections. So you’ll leave with a deeper appreciation for yourself, your product and your customer. You’ll be ready to sell and and increase your revenue. It’s gonna be a jam packed week and it’s gonna supercharge your business into one that works with your ADHD brain, not against it. So visit my website, ihaveadhd.com, click the banner sign up. Gonna be super fun. So today we’re talking about the idea that you can be inconsistent and still be successful. I’m gonna sit here a minute because most of us, we have this idea that inconsistent success is counterintuitive. All of the messaging that we’ve received throughout our lives from childhood into adulthood has told us that consistency is what leads to success. Think about what your parents told you as a kid. Think about what your teachers told you when you were in school. Think about what your bosses have told you over the years, and even what your spouse’s or friends have said. Things like consistency is what we need. Consistency is what leads to success. Inconsistency is equivalent with failure, right? With not measuring up, with not meeting the mark. Now, I have to be honest, it’s a little bit painful for me to think about all of the times that I was told that if I were more consistent, I’d be a better person or I’d be a better version of myself. I wonder if that’s your experience as well. If you are experiencing some pain, some negative emotion. I just want to validate that, like this is a painful conversation or it has the potential to be a painful conversation. Because for a lot of us, we’re remembering times when we were shamed by others or we shamed ourselves for being inconsistent. And so over decades of socialization and being told that consistency is the only path, we’ve really made our patterns, our inconsistent patterns, equivalent with failure. Now even just the thought I should be consistent, which sounds true, it sounds good. It sounds Lovely. Or I wish I were consistent. Like, what emotion does that create for you in your body? Because even though it sounds sweet, for me, it creates the feeling of defeat. When I think I should be consistent or I wish I were more consistent, I immediately feel defeat because I know the truth. I know that I have an ADHD brain and I know that consistency isn’t a thing with me. Like, I’ve never really been able to point to a time where I’ve been really consistent, right? So that defeat gives me this sense of like, I’ve failed before I’ve even begun. I might as well not even start. Like, I shouldn’t even bother because I don’t want to set myself up for failure. So I’m out. Like, see ya. Bye. She’s out. So when someone like me, who is a very. I would say, I’m like, I have this desire to be a high achiever, right? And when I hear a leadership guru like John Maxwell say, small disciplines repeated with consistency every day lead to great achievements gained slowly over time. Here’s the cycle that I go through. So I don’t know about you, I’m guessing you can relate. Here’s the cycle that I go through. Number one, I’m like, that sounds smart. Sounds right. Like, he’s really successful. He must be telling the truth. So in that moment, when I hear something like that, or somebody like Rachel Hollis, who’s like, super problematic, but whatever, she’s someone who talks about consistency all the time, right? Consistency is the only way to get you to success. I’m like, well, she’s got a seven figure business. She must know. And so in that moment, I agree to believe these people, right? I don’t realize that I’ve made an actual decision. It happens in a split second, but it is like a choice that I’m like, making a choice to believe them that what they’re saying is true. And so then the next thing I do is I fantasize about what my life would be like if I were to be more consistent. And I indulge in, like, this perfectionist fantasy of all the great things that I would do and all of the amazing success I would have. And then I start to formulate a plan. So I start to make a plan. Like, okay, I’m going to do it. I’m going to be consistent. And usually this plan is very perfectionistic and it’s bedazzled. It has like, sparkles and gems and it’s really, really pretty. Plan, right? And then I go to implement the plan and Maybe I implement the plan like a handful of times, just like a very small maybe like once, maybe like five times, but I implement it a handful of times. And then I realized, like, wait, there’s no way that I can sustain this. I can’t do this long term. Or I just totally forget about the plan altogether and it’s like it didn’t even exist. And so I totally abandon it, right? I abandon the plan, the consistency plan, right? And then there’s this moment where I realize that I’ve abandoned the plan. And then I’m like, well, crap, I’m not being consistent. I’m not, I’m not someone who’s gonna get success apparently, because consistency is the only way to get to success, says John Maxwell and Gary V and Jenna Kutcher and Rachel Hollis and all these other Amy Porterfield, whatever, blah, blah, blah, right? All of these successful people are saying that consistency is the way to go. I wasn’t consistent, therefore I’m going to be a failure. And I label myself as inconsistent. And I like to throw in the judgment of undisciplined as well. Like just kind of like this added icing on the cake that I like to give myself every once in a while. So not only am I inconsistent, but I’m also undisciplined. And then what happens is I start on a major self judgment spiral, right? And so I start beating myself up. Self loathing, self judgment and it’s just this downward spiral. And I like, in conclusion, I, I’m not going to be successful. I won’t ever be able to accomplish great things. I’m destined for a life of frustration and misery. And so I might as well stop trying. And I give up. Whoo. You guys, like, do you relate to that or what? But my dudes, this, like, this pattern is not working. Like, this is not working out well for us. We have ADHD brains. We’re going to be inconsistent. As Dr. Ned Hallowell says, we are consistently inconsistent. That’s the only consistent thing about an ADHDer is that they are inconsistent. It’s a hallmark trait of adhd. And guess what? It can’t be cured. It can’t be cured. So this is why I’m on a mission, because I want to call BS on all of the consistency propaganda out there. Consistency is great. Like it’s great, wonderful. It is one pathway to success. But it’s not the only pathway. It’s not the only way that we can reach our goals. So if you’re like, okay, Kristin, I hear you but all I’ve ever interacted with are thoughts on consistency leading to success. So, like, how in the world does someone be inconsistent and reach their goals? Number one, you’ve got to take your ADHD seriously. You need to be diagnosed and treated for adhd. I spend a lot of time in my earlier episodes, like, 1 through 100, or especially like, 1 through 50. I spend a lot of time trying to persuade you that, like, ADHD is a real thing. It needs to be taken serious, seriously. Right? It’s a neurodevelopmental disorder, and it deserves a proper treatment plan. So I’m not going to spend a ton of time now since I do that in previous episodes. But if you want to be an inconsistent success, you definitely need to start with taking your ADHD seriously and hopping on a proper treatment plan that works for you. Okay? And then the next step is understand. Like, really, really understand and accept that you will not be consistent. Like, just stop striving for it. Like, what if you just stopped wishing for it, hoping for it, planning for it, striving for it? If you’re willing to drop the idea that it’s even a possibility, then. Then lean in here. This is important. Then you can make plans for its absence. Okay? So, like, hear me out. If I know I’m inconsistent and if I’m not wasting my time and my energy beating myself up about it, then I can actually solve for it. But if I’m spending all of my time and energy beating myself up, judging myself, wishing and hoping for things to be different, then I can’t actually solve for the fact that I’m inconsistent. So the thing is, a lot of the times, most of the times, I would say, like 99% of the times, we are asking ourselves the wrong questions. So here are the questions that I used to ask myself. Why can’t I be more consistent? How can I be more consistent? When am I going to be more consistent? What is that thing out there that’s going to help me be more consistent? But those questions are fruitless. They lead us nowhere, because consistency is not available to us. A better question. Listen, a better question is, now what? That’s the question. I’m inconsistent. Now what? Right? So, like, instead of spending your energy on the meaningless quest of striving for consistency, spend your energy actually solving for your inconsistencies. So, as usual, I’m going to give you an example from my own life. I started this podcast about two and a half years ago, at the very beginning of 2019, actually, truth be told, because I didn’t know anything at all about launching a podcast. I dropped my first two episodes at the very end of December 2018. But anyway, I set out to record weekly. That was my goal, my plan, which is adorable, but weekly, like, my word, there are 52 weeks in a year. Did you know that? Like, that’s a lot. So in 2019, I released 35 episodes. I was not consistent at all. Right? So there’s 52 weeks in a year. I released 35 episodes. My consistency rate was a 67%. 67% consistency rate. If that were a grade in school, it would be a D. Hear me? I got a D, y’. All. Okay, in the summer of 2019, I released four episodes total. So there’s usually, like, 12 weeks of summer. I released four episodes in those 12 weeks, all summer. That’s it. Now, if I listened to and believed Rachel Hollis, who direct quote, said, success doesn’t come from what you do occasionally. It comes from what you do consistently. If I had believed her, what do you think I would have done? I promise you, I would have given up. I would have said, there’s no point in continuing, because if consistency is the only way to get you to your goals, and I obviously can’t be consistent with this podcast, I only have a 67% consistency rate, then what the hell is the point of even trying? But, but, but, but. Thank God I found. Thank God I found the life coach school and Brooke Castillo’s work, because she was the first person ever to tell me that B minus work was perfectly fine. And even though I was super inconsistent, I thought maybe, just maybe I could reach my goal inconsistently. Maybe it didn’t have to be perfect. Maybe it doesn’t have to look like everyone else around me. My friends, we hit a million downloads on this podcast last week. One million downloads. Could you just take a second and do a happy dance with me right now? Let’s, like, bust a move, because that is a huge accomplishment. Now, I did some research because I’m not really sure how to measure podcasts. And, like, how do you even tell how well your podcast is doing? I don’t know. It turns out that most podcasts have about 141 listens per month, and based on my podcast listens, I’m in the top 1% of all podcasts. Top 1%. What in the freaking world? How is that possible? How is it possible that I can help people have a successful podcast and be inconsistent? Not just slightly inconsistent, like a 67% consistency rate. Like, I got the grade of a D. How is it possible? Here’s the answer. Ready? I was willing to be persistent. I was willing to. When I noticed that I wasn’t being consistent and I wasn’t being super on the ball when I could only do a couple podcast recordings that first summer, I didn’t allow myself to spiral out in shame and self loathing. I was willing to let go of the lie that consistency is the only way to get yourself to your goal. I was willing to disbelieve the quote, unquote experts out there that say that consistency is the only way. And instead I put my energy to answer this question, now what? I’m inconsistent. Now what? So at the end of 2019, I looked back and I said, okay, I did 35 episodes. There were 52 weeks. I. I’m inconsistent now what? So the answer to that question was, for me personally, it was hiring a team of people that can help me. It was making my life easier. It was making it so that my deficiencies were made up for. And in the last year, I’ve hired a podcast editor, I’ve hired an assistant, and once I record this episode right now, so, like, you’re listening, you know, a week later, but I’m sitting here recording, I’m going to send, I’m going to upload it to Google Drive and they work together to edit it, schedule it, write the show notes, and make sure it’s up when it’s supposed to be. I don’t even have to think about that part because I saw my inconsistency. And instead of quitting, instead of shame spiraling, instead of saying, well, apparently this is never going to be success and I’m getting a grade of a D, and so I might as well just quit right now. Instead of doing all of that, I ask myself, hmm, you’re inconsistent. Okay, now what? Where do I need help? Where do I need support? And I believe that in the last year since hiring a team, I’ve only missed one week of episodes, meaning I’ve dropped episodes 51 out of 52 weeks in the year. That’s a 98% consistency rate. So I’ve gone from a D to an A. Not by trying to be consistent. Really hear me, I hope you see the difference here. But embracing that I’m inconsistent and implementing support, my friend, I need you to hear me. You don’t have to be consistent in order to be successful. Small, persistent steps toward your goal, irregularly, it’s enough. Give yourself the gift of releasing yourself from shame and judgment about the way your brain works, give yourself the gift of noticing your inconsistencies and asking, now what? And if you’re an entrepreneur, give yourself the gift of joining me for my course next week. The inconsistent and very successful entrepreneur. I can’t wait to talk to you again soon. I will see you next week. Bye Bye. If you’re being treated for your adhd, but you still don’t feel like you’re reaching your potential, you’ve got to join Focused. It’s my monthly coaching membership where I teach you how to tame your wild thoughts and create the life that you’ve always, always wanted. No matter what season of life you’re in or where you are in the world, Focused is for you. All materials and call recordings are stored in the site for you to access at your convenience. Go to ihaveadhd.com focused for all the info.
