I HAVE ADHD PODCAST
January 24, 2023
The Aspie World Meets I Have ADHD
Episode 195 welcomes Daniel Jones from The Aspie World as a special guest! PLEASE NOTE: There is strong language used in this one.
Daniel has been diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome (Autism Spectrum Disorder Level 2), ADHD, OCD, and Dyslexia. He’s especially passionate about providing education, support, and diagnosis access to any and everyone.
In this special episode, we chat through the differences and similarities between ADHD and Autism. Daniel shares tips for tricking the ADHD side of his brain into staying focused for longer periods of time and expresses why it’s so important to love each other and not feed dissension amongst our neurodivergent community.
You can find Daniel across all your favorite social media channels @theaspieworld.
My group coaching program FOCUSED is a great place for folks with neurodivergent conditions like ADHD, and we believe we’re better together!
LEARN MORE ABOUT THE TOPICS DISCUSSED IN THIS EPISODE
PRINTABLE ADHD SYMPTOM LIST
This totally free printable includes a psychologist-approved list of symptoms that adults with ADHD commonly experience. This could give you the answers you’ve been begging for your entire life.
Kristen Carder 0:05
Welcome to the I have ADHD podcast, where it’s all about education, encouragement and coaching for adults with ADHD. I’m your host, Kristen Carter and I have ADHD. Let’s chat about the frustrations, humor and challenges of adulting relationships working and achieving with this neurodevelopmental disorder. I’ll help you understand your unique brain. Unlock your potential and move from point A to point B.
Hey, what’s up? This is Kristen Carter and you are listening to the I have ADHD podcast episode number 195. I am medicated I am caffeinated. I’m in a new office. And it’s so quiet and lovely. And I’m ready to roll. I am so excited. I am moved offices and I don’t have to worry about recording in a noisy space anymore. I’m so excited. So here for it. How are you? How are you? Welcome to the podcast. I’m glad you pressed play today I have such an amazing episode for you. Daniel Jones from the ASPI world is here with us to talk about all things autism and ADHD. And let me tell you, we’re gonna get spicy. So if you don’t love curse words, you may want to skip this episode. Or at least make sure you’re not listening around your kiddos. I mean, you do you but I just wanted to let you know.
But before we get started, I wanted to make sure to tell you that if you suck with money, if you suck with money, you need to join focused immediately because in the month of February, we’re going to be doing a Total Money Makeover focused is my coaching program for adults with ADHD, where ADHD airs from around the world gather for coaching and support. And we don’t always do a monthly topic. But I know that money is a huge issue within the ADHD community. I support people in that capacity every single day. And I really wanted to spend an entire month focusing on this topic. So in February, I’m going to teach you how to forgive yourself for your past money mistakes. And then I’ll give you practical tools to manage your money moving forward. And not only that, but I’m going to take you by the hand, and I will lead you step by step. So I want to let you know exactly what you get. When you join focus in February 1, you’re going to get four live classes on ADHD friendly ways to manage your money taught by me, accursed and Carter, you’re going to get four coaching calls specific to managing your money as an ADHD ear. And these coaching calls will be about like the practicality of it. But also, there’s so much shame that we carry around there’s so much forgiveness that we need to offer ourselves for our stupid money mistakes or the quote unquote holes that we’ve dug ourselves into regarding our money. So we first need to get to a place of acceptance and forgiveness before we can really move forward. If you’re not moving forward with your money, it’s likely tied to the shame that you feel around your debt or your spending or your income to debt ratio, or whatever the case may be. In addition, you’re gonna get for budgeting calls, where I will teach you how to budget and hold space for you literally while you do it in real time. So it will sound like this. Okay, now everyone open up your bank account, let’s take a look what it’s like. Obviously, you’ll be doing this in the privacy of your own home, you will not be on camera, everything will be very, very private, but I will lead you through step by step so that you have someone like taking you by the hand and helping you. And in addition to all of this, which is going to be happening live, you’ll obviously have access to the replays and the private podcast and the recordings, etc. But you’ll also get early access to the money course that I taught in 2020. So I’ll be teaching everything live in February. But also if you want kind of like a binge worthy course you’ll get that as well. And of course, we have our very supportive and engaging community on Slack where you’ll bring all your money drama and get coaching from me and support from your peers in the program. So if money is a big issue for you, and you want to make a huge change if you want to pivot in 2023 Join focused, I’m going to help you take the first steps. So go to Ihaveadhd.com/focused to sign up. I can’t wait to welcome you in and to support you.
Okay, like I said today’s episode is a real treat. Daniel Jones is an international best selling author and video influencer with an award winning YouTube channel called the ASPI world and he is here with us today, y’all. It’s going to be so awesome. Now his channel the ASPI world is the biggest YouTube channel dedicated to autism from an autistic person in the whole world. The channel is dedicated to autism awareness and understanding from an autistic person’s point of view, creating engagement with real people to create real change in a positive and uplifting way. And also, the channel helps raise money for charities like the National Autistic Society. Daniel has diagnoses of autism, OCD, ADHD, and dyslexia. And he uses his influence to help educate people about autism, using his skills of video and social media influence, and I cannot wait for you to hear from him. Please join me in welcoming Daniel Jones. So Daniel, thank you so much for being here. I’m so glad to be chatting with you today.
Daniel Jones 5:41
My pleasure. It’s actually Yeah, it’s really nice to be invited on. So thank you so much for inviting me.
Kristen Carder 5:45
That’s great. I’ve been kind of stalking you for the last couple years, I love your YouTube channel, you put out so much good content on social media, I just appreciate the contribution that you make to the neuro divergent world. It’s just amazing.
Speaker 2 6:00
Thank you so much. Yeah, like I, I tried, you know, I try my best. And I try and be as fair as possible. And cut through a lot of the work, let’s call the crabcake. Because there’s a lot of crabcake out there, like straight in the middle and just see it as it is man. You know, I mean, and I support everybody, every single person deserves support. And that’s what I do.
Kristen Carder 6:17
Yeah, that’s great. So tell me a little bit about your diagnosis. You have more than one. So just a brief intro about who you are.
Speaker 2 6:24
Okay, so I was diagnosed with, I talked to those originally with Asperger’s syndrome, and ADHD when I was 26. Right. So it was in 2013. I was diagnosed, I suppose in ADHD, which was kind of shocking, because I didn’t know anything about autism or Asperger’s or anything when I was diagnosed, which is quite funny, isn’t it? Because like, my entire brand now, but at the time, I was like, holy smokes. And then and that’s kind of what led me on the path because then I kind of like went to YouTube. It was like, you know, what is Asperger’s syndrome? And then I couldn’t find anything. So I was like, Okay, well, maybe I can put some videos out, you know, talking about my experiences, since I have, you know, this diagnosis. That’s kind of fun. And then I recently had an update, because I actually, sorry, before the diagnosis of Asperger’s and ADHD, I actually have a diagnosis of dyslexia. And I was, you know, casually going back to like, the 90s, when I was in high school, and it was all a bunch of rubbish, like, nobody could really diagnose you, especially where I was living, you know, it was quite suburban and kind of like, in the middle of nowhere, really. So yeah, so I had the ADHD and the, and the Asperger’s and the dyslexia. And then recently, I did an update diagnosis. And it showed me I had all kinds of very intricate parts, like pathological demand, demand avoidance, and alexithymia, different things like that, you know, and then it was ASD level two, rather than Asperger’s Syndrome, because the nomenclature for the DSM five have changed in 2013, almost after, almost immediately after I was diagnosed, which is fun. Because I have this debate with a lot of people. It’s not a thing. It’s like, well, it is a thing, you know, I suppose it still is a thing, you know, people still use the term, you have to appreciate that. So yeah, that doesn’t, that’s what that was. So yeah, that’s my diagnoses. In a nutshell.
Kristen Carder 8:04
I’m curious what led you to get reevaluated recently.
Speaker 2 8:10
really simply, a friend of mine runs a neuro division clinic in South Africa, whilst a young, South African, but it’s like worldwide because online and stuff and they do work and stuff. And he’s a great clinician, and I want to partner with him to make autism and ADHD diagnosis accessible for everybody. So we are opening an online, you know, specific clinic soon. And so I said, Hey, let’s go through the process, I’ll be a customer, you know, how’s it gonna work? And, and the reason I did this, because, you know, if you want to get a diagnosis in the UK, privately, it’s gonna cost you like, I don’t know, four 4000 pounds really roughly, in the US, it’s like five grand plus, right? And I was like, well, this needs to be way more accessible for people. Right? So we’re currently looking at getting it under $1,000. So you know, that that’s, that’s cool. Right? You know, that’s achievable, right? For people. So this is, this is my aim. And for kids even less like four or 500 bucks for kids, right? So yeah, what we’re really going to, we’re really going to do that, and that and as long as a long process, but we’re gonna get there. And when we open it, you know, everyone knows. So yeah, so I was like, I’m gonna pretend to be a customer. Let me go down the line and do the things. So that’s why I got reevaluated. I thought, well, if I’m going to sell a product, if I’m going to be part of a service, I want to know exactly what it’s like, I want to know the ins and outs, like, you know, so do me. And so he did, and yeah, it was good. It was good. It was good fun. And so it’s really interesting, because working with somebody who really, really knows a lot about autism and ADHD, which is like mind blowing, because it was like, oh, you know, you do all these things. It’s like, whoa,
Kristen Carder 9:40
so yeah, like insight into who you are.
Speaker 2 9:43
Yeah, it was pretty crazy. And then we have like, and it was cool to go sit down with my partner. She was sitting there, and like, was able to kind of listen into his feedback, right. And it’s funny, I actually, for legal reasons, I can’t release it yet, but I videoed my diagnosis feedback with him and so I’m gonna release that Whole thing and so, but I haven’t I have to wait with there’s a lot of legal jargon we have to go through before I can do that. But yeah, it was cool, you know, and I am completely open and transparent about everything. So yeah, I’m gonna, because a lot of people say like, oh, who thinks, you know, people will call my videos and be like you think you Asperger’s and ADHD? Who is diagnosed? I’m like, Oh, definitely you will you can I mean, like, Lady man 69. Like, get away. So I’m like, you know, just, anyway, so yeah, so I thought the video would be a cool thing. So can just be a form of people to find relatability into something that would be kind of uncomfortable for a lot of people, you know,
Kristen Carder 10:35
for sure, I cannot wait to see that. Because I think that that would give kind of like a brain map, so to speak, for people who’ve never been through it, what to expect what it might be like. There’s a lot of fear, I think around like the diagnostic process and the evaluations and what is it going to be like to sit down with the clinician and my partner? And like, what are they going to say about me, like, those kinds of things. So you’re providing a map for that. And I think that’s, that’s amazing. So can you give us a brief, just like a really brief definition or overview of autism spectrum disorder, like, how do you define it?
Speaker 2 11:16
It’s really interesting, really, because, you know, the name really tells you a lot about autism spectrum disorder. Now, Autism is a spectrum. And, you know, initially it was called Kenna, infantile autism. Right, that was the original name from Leo Kanner. And he was the guy who was doing research simultaneously to Hans Asperger in 1942, roughly around that time, and then obviously, Lorna Wing kind of picked it up in the late 80s. And she did a bunch of stuff. And, you know, now we have all these kind of, like, dsmz. And, you know, so it’s kind of like, it’s changed, it’s deeper understanding over the years, because obviously, more research, you get more understanding, and the deeper things go into the more complex it becomes. But in its integrity is very simple. You know, autism is a new neuro type, a neurodevelopmental condition that has basically it, you know, it’s kind of like, Hey, your brain was growing inside, you know, when you will, tiny baby and feet as well, and the neurological gospel growing, and they kind of just put the burped a little bit, and it kind of just slightly rocked out of place, and then it kind of fused in a different way, not a bad way, just a different way. And then that different way, you know, rewires you to think of things slightly differently, you know, you’re more susceptible to, like sensory stimuli, or smells, and all that kind of stuff. And then you may not be able to understand social interaction a lot, you know, you may find it difficult to make friends, you may find it difficult to be in the moment, even holding your body up, you know, proprioception, and all that kind of stuff is quite difficult. And lack of eye contact, and lack of social interaction is definitely one of the big things with autism. And understanding the current format of dialogue between people is very difficult, right? So when people you know, you know, I used to be, I used to work in an office, like typical kind of boss would come in and be like, can you do this, this, this and this, and I’m like, I have no idea what you just said to me. So it’s like, write it down and bullet point to sell, tape it to my head, because I’m never gonna remember right? And that’s how I did it, you know? And so it’s kind of like it’s a different framework for understanding. Now, that’s one side of the spectrum, right? We’re talking about spectrum now you have autism, where people are so impaired socially, that they are nonverbal, and there are non speaking it should I say so. The non speaking autistic individuals, it doesn’t mean they can’t communicate just means that they have a an unusual wave of communicating compared to the new that neurotypical person. And I think that’s super interesting, because you have people like myself, who are verbally able to explain themselves, which is why I feel I have a duty in the world to talk about the way I see things. versus you know, my friend, Abby, who is the daughter of ASOS, another one of my friends from a YouTube channel called fathering autism. Right? So Abby can’t, can’t, you know, verbally talk, which is, you know, she’s cute as a button like, and I get on really well with her, but like, she can’t verbally say things I can say. So it’s nice to have people like me be able to do that. But I find it fascinating that, that there’s a whole spectrum of it, you know, and then you have things like that, that go further up, you know, like, you know, ADHD, which is right, the other end, where it’s not as not as intense as autism doesn’t have a lot of the issues that autism has, but it still is neuro divergent. And then you also have then the other side of the spectrum, you have like Savant syndrome, you could have like severely savant people who, you know, can’t even like get dressed in the morning and things like that, you know, super difficult challenging lives. So it’s, it’s a, it’s a vast spectrum of different things. And I think that it is very beautiful, because it allows you to see the the evolution of the human mind going in different directions constantly because we’re all told that like, you know, everybody’s the same you go to school, we got a job just on the other, but autistic individuals build rockets to go to Mars, right? So like, and that’s the truth, you know, like build electric systems like Nikola Tesla, or you know, Bill Gates and build a computer systems that like just change the world and I flippin love this stuff like so. It shows you the evolution of the human mind that like, it’s not something that is copy and paste, and everyone’s the same. It’s very, very like this. Like, whoa, you can do amazing things. And so that’s why I think it’s really interesting and beautiful to see.
Kristen Carder 15:13
Love it. Tell me a little bit about the different levels that you were talking about. So you said, Did you say level or type you? So you said you were diagnosed with type two? Or level two? Level two? So that’s what you’re talking about with a spectrum? Like, yeah, different places on the spectrum or different levels?
Speaker 2 15:31
That’s correct. Yeah. So it’s, it’s all based on support need, right. So you may have like, high support needs, like so I have, I have different needs to you know, my friends who are autistic, and they have different needs to me. And, and it depends where you lie on your level of support needs and how, how emotionally deregulated you are, how badly your executive function is, which levels you in these kinds of tiers, right. And so you can have like, Autism Spectrum Disorder, with profound learning disability, say, and then you could have autism spectrum, disorder, level two, often spectrum disorder level one, and it just literally, it’s just a fraction out how much support you need, or where you are. And what’s really interesting about my, my autistic diagnosis, or, or my phenotype, which is how they kind of, like, assess, like, the brain activity, is that mine is more accustomed to females on the autism spectrum, it’s kind of not that common in males, that type of, you know, the chatting of autism that that I was diagnosed, which is really interesting, right? Because, like, you know, I’m not, I’m not a, you know, a trans person or anything like that, you know, I’m a born male, you know, and, but my brain works in that kind of way. And I found that just fascinating. That’s like, wow, you know, like, it’s crazy. It’s crazy. Good. I love it.
Kristen Carder 16:48
How many levels are there? How many, like distinguish yours?
Speaker 2 16:52
I think you’ve got, like, I think you have the, I think you have the main three. I mean, there may be more factions, but like, it’s kind of like, unless, unless you’re going through that. And the reason I say this, because like, there’s mainly because you have like autism, with profound learning difficulty, right. And that could mean that your nonverbal giving you that you have like, you know, other disabilities are comorbid. Within that, I mean, like, can be physical disability. And then you also have like, you could go down and faction out, you could have autism spectrum disorder with profound learning disabilities, you could have global learning disorder, Down syndrome, you could have all kinds of stuff stuck into that, right. So it goes as deep as you kind of want to be specific and Splinter that off, but I mean, the top level, then you have like autism, you know, ASD level one is the level two. And that’s kind of it I think, we don’t get we don’t get changes all the time. Like just, you know, that’s tough, isn’t it? It is, and, you know, it’s difficult because I just need to be working and I’m on the spectrum. Exactly. You know, that’s, it’s Diego, I want the spectrum somewhere on that spectrum. And it’s kind of cool. And, and so it probably will change again. And I think there’s a big argument in the community, between a small minority of individuals are trying to change stuff, and they think it’s wrong personally. They’re trying to change the language and how you use it, and who can who can use it and how you do it. And it’s not a disability and all this crap. And I think like, you know, honestly did and it’s a small minority of people, but they have such loud mouths. You’re like, what do you like what, you know, and I’m out here trying to like help everybody we like you’re all welcome. And somebody’s like, No, you’re not like we who you who’s like, Jack, somebody over here is like, I’m gonna do some spectrums. Like go diagnosis, no, I’m self diagnosed. I’m like, Well, come on, dude. Like, you don’t I mean, so it’s kind of like it really. Yeah, it’s really, it’s really crazy. Actually, there’s a huge tightening, and you know, and as people like, there’s loads of things like, I know, every charity has shady pasts, right? And like Autism Speaks, has has a bit of a shady past, I think, or just different paths to what we’d like to see now. But it was a different era, right? You know, you gotta go you and back to the 80s and 70s. It was crazy. We go back to the 50s. It was cool for a husband to slap his wife. And I mean, it’s just preposterous now. So everything has a shady past, because we’re learning we’re evolved. We are species,
Kristen Carder 18:59
right, everything has a shady facets.
Speaker 2 19:01
And so like, but then when people people recessed they’re protected with autism speech can’t use you can’t use a puzzle piece and use a lighter blue and they like freak out and like did one. It’s like, you know, Mrs. Jones from down the road who’s got a non verbal autistic son who’s doing her bid for a local community center? Why, like raise money for him iPads, they can speak, you know, who the hell are you to give her shit? You know what I mean? Like, just pay for the down and think reel it in, you know what I mean? Like, it annoys me. I’m like, Dude, you are not God. You don’t get to choose if this is good or bad. You know? It’s like, just calm down and do your thing. Like if you don’t like it, don’t participate, but just don’t hurt Mrs. Jones, because she’s doing the best she can. And I mean, and it annoys me, it really does annoy me. And like, and people like, you can’t use the term Asperger’s. And I was like, Why do you think you know the word police? Like, let me like, draw the, you know, the best one, Chris. And this is people like, oh, Hans Asperger was was a Nazi. I’m like, Okay, well We don’t know the exact ins and outs. Yes, he was captured by the Nazis because he’s Austrian. And yes, he was forced to work with the Nazis. I mean, we did do some eugenics stuff. And it was pretty creepy and gross, but it was in our 1940s. It was World War Two for Christ’s sake. And he was probably fighting for his life. I’m not going to justify his actions. And I don’t think Nazis are cool. That is like the worst things ever the scum, right. But let’s put some perspective. If you are going to disassociate with the term Asperger’s syndrome, and then put like, Damn on everybody for using it, then you should relinquish the use of Siemens product and Hugo Boss because he’s worked. He’s made the Nazi uniforms. You know, Siemens made the gas chambers were crazy. You know, did you know that Fanta, the orange drink was actually the Nazi party’s official drink because they couldn’t get the the ingredients into Germany because of the sanctions that the rest of the world put on Germany, so they had to make it out oranges. And it was the Coca Cola sponsored the Nazi Party. People still drink Fanta, you know. And so it’s like, oh, you’re not going to drive a Volkswagen car. Because Hitler create the people’s kind of locks. It’s like, Dude, get your head around us realize that we are now in a progressive society that we judge people on the actions we take now, not the history and where it came from, is what we do with it. Now that defines how we move forward. Right? And that’s it. That’s all said, and it really bugged me.
Kristen Carder 21:12
I am. So here for this level of spiciness. I’m here for it like we are all cheering. Here’s where I want to go next, because you’re already fired up. So I want to know how you feel about the word disorder. what your thoughts are when people say it’s not a disorder disorder is a harmful word. I get that a lot. I call ADHD a disorder. I think it is the most scientifically accurate word, the most medically accurate word. And also, it is really an important word in my opinion. So I’m interested to hear what you think regarding autism spectrum disorder.
Speaker 2 21:54
Yeah, okay. So let me just talk about the word disorder disorder, older is a linear form of increments in a in a consecutive line, a progressive line, okay? A disorder would be a disassociation between A and B, and those points eight non linear association with a line when you when you have a condition that that doesn’t align your neurological paths to go from A to B, like autism, like ADHD, you have disorderly linear movement, or pushing off synapses from your myelin sheath, or whatever they call it. And that is exactly what a disorder is. So if it’s harmful, it’s only harmful because you’re a fucking snowflake, or whatever, or wherever people call each other. And that’s it. I mean, like, I looked at it, don’t get me wrong, I’m super left wing, right? Like, you know, I’m really like, you know, into socialism, a level of Bernie Sanders was great love Jeremy Corbyn, everything’s great, right? And I want everyone to have everything that I have, I love it. But at the end of the day, don’t be an idiot. Like, you know, it is disorderly. It’s just like, you know, like, you don’t want to get some perspective, okay? This is not a linear progression. If If I get angry with myself, I can’t control my emotions, and I hit myself in the head, a hit my head, this is self harm that I do not want to happen, right? That is not orderly, that is disorderly. Okay. So when you say, it’s not a disorder, well, it is a disorder because it’s not in an orderly fashion to hit yourself in the head is it? Let’s don’t beat around the bush here. Okay. And just because you don’t like a word, it doesn’t mean that somebody else isn’t gonna use it. And I got an idea how you use the word and Chinese? Will it still be the same? Stupid, like, It annoys the shit out of me? It’s just English. Do you know what it is? Is we have a generation of people who are who have no great war, no great depression, no great spiritual aspirations. They’re bored as hell, and they’re looking for something to do. Right. They’re sitting at home, probably, like, you know, I don’t know on like, Jobseeker’s Allowance or whatever it is you have in America, like, you know, like, Oh, I’m between jobs, because that’s No, we’re going to do my life yet. Or they’re in university and they feel like, they need to be part of something. So by jumping on a bandwagon, and calls and shit all the time makes them feel really wanted. And I’m really, really sad because I’m thinking Jesus, people really need some love in their life. Right? Yes. You know what I mean? And like I said, they’re picking on Mrs. Jones, because she said her son has a disorder, a disability, and she’s bought Autism Speaks because she’s able to raise money for the local, you know, the local kind of sector of Austin, speak to her up all the kids who can’t, you know, can’t verbally speak. It’s like, Come on, guys. Like what are you doing? You know,
Kristen Carder 24:26
like, I totally agree that we have so much time on our hands and and for the most part, as a society, we have a lot of money. And so it’s just like there needs to be a cause to get behind and sometimes this is the cause that people use right? Yeah,
Speaker 2 24:44
of course. And they get so wrapped up in it they become like what’s the term or hyper normalize the situation and the big news and like, you will realize it like a friend of mine right a friend of mine is a an influencer marketing influencer. Her name is agony or tea right. So actually, her name is Sarah Harvey. her online pseudonym is agony Aussie. And she went through this stage when she was like, you can’t use Asperger’s Syndrome. It’s so dangerous. I just got a text messages offer and stuff like, Dude, you’re dangerous. I’m like, what? Like, who is this? I’m actually like change your name. Should I rollback? Like no? Yeah, I don’t know you shit. I’m not doing anything. I mean, I help 1000s of people daily my everyday I refresh my inbox or somebody said to me thank you so much for helping you my son. I’m like, I write back to them with love hearts saying like, thank you so much. You know how how humbling it is to know that I’ve helped a parent when they’re struggling when they have no shoulder to cry on, cuz you got people like, you know, fucking Bob Jones or ESA, like you could use it to be like, dude, just like chill out, you know? And it’s true, like people will get so triggered by and I’m like, Dude, why don’t you want a neck and and help people rather than blame? Right? And so yeah, so it’s funny. Anyway, so funny turn of events, I love it. Love our sorrow turned around. And she was like, Dude, I was completely brainwashed by that part of the community very, very tiny. And she was like, who am I to impose sanctions on what you want to use as a term to describe your condition. And then me and Sarah good friends again. Now we did a talk. We did a we did a podcast on my channel the other day on my Instagram. Right? So and it was we discussed this exact thing. I love it sucks. I think they just Yeah, yeah, if you don’t check it out, definitely watch it. I do a weekly show on on Mondays called mask off Monday, where I interview people. And this is she was one of my guests to not like not last night, the Monday before. And it’s perfect. It’s a perfect example of everything. Yeah, I get so triggered by it. But I love everybody.
Kristen Carder 26:31
Like I said, I’m here for the spiciness and so are my listeners. So we’re good. And now a word from our sponsor. Hey, Kristen here. I’m the host of this podcast, an ADHD expert and a certified life coach who’s helped hundreds of adults with ADHD understand their unique brains and make real changes in their lives. If you’re not sure what a life coaches let me tell you, a life coach is someone who helps you achieve your goals like a personal trainer for your life. A life coach is a guide who holds your hand along the way as you take baby step after baby. Step two accomplish the things that you want to accomplish. A good life coach is a trained expert, who knows how to look at situations or situations with non judgmental neutrality, and offer you solutions that you’ve probably never even considered before. If you’re being treated for your ADHD, and maybe even you’ve done some work in therapy, and you want to add to your scaffolding of support, you’ve got to join my group coaching program focused focused is where functional adults with ADHD surround each other with encouragement and support. And I lead the way with innovative and creative solutions to help you fully accept yourself, understand your ADHD, and create the life that you’ve always wanted to create. Even with ADHD. Go to I have adhd.com/focused to join. And I hope to see you in our community today.
I would love for you to help us understand the difference between ADHD and autism. What are the differences? What are the similarities? What are your thoughts?
Speaker 2 28:22
Okay, I’ll give you like some some really simple examples. So autism is a neurodevelopmental condition, whereas ADHD is a neurological condition. Right? So what I mean by that is ADHD is behavior based. And your real like reaction behavior base, right? So if I want to sit down and write a piece, like I just finished writing my second book, right, so and that was like sitting on, right, like, you know, trying to edit this stuff, and I’m like, hey, hey, I think I hear something outside. And I’ll go outside and call my hands and knees like, you know, in the kitchen of my conference, like get on the floor, you didn’t know what you should write a book, dude, I’m like African he, like, there’s a draft coming through that, you know, and it’s like, you get completely distracted by the craziest stuff because your brain is thirsty when you’re, when you just have it at your brain is thirsty to be occupied constantly by many different things. So you can’t just do one thing, it wants to do 10,000 things at once. And I love that. Whereas also on the other side is you want to be you want to be entertained by something, but you want to really focus and narrow that focus on something. So that’s like a really good example. And so, you know, this is how I’m going to give you guys a hack right now. So I was specifically I needed to sit down and write my book and FYI, guys, you’re probably thinking, Okay, this guy’s dyslexic, right, like super dyslexic, how the fox’s YouTube works. And this is very simple, very simple. I use voice dictation software. So I dictate to my phone and it like puts it out into text. Excuse me, then I go in and I use an app called Grammarly to tell me where I completely messed up talking. And then I send it to my editors and it’s done. So, so yeah, thank you. And so I’m sitting here I’m like, Dude, my brain is like thirsty because like, because having autism and ADHD you have this. I want to hyper focus on something really Do you like just sit down and do it for hours, then you also have entities in here want to make a cheeseburger like you know, it wants to do something, right. So I’m, like conflicted constantly. This is why the frustration a lot of the time happens, you’ll notice that people who have autism and ADHD are very, very, like, up and down, up, down, up and down, right? Because they have this pulling each side of the brain just like your brain is constantly reading. So I was like, How do I do this? I gotta. And then I remember I read The Odyssey read, I’ve listened to an audiobook by a Buddhist. And he was saying what your mind is like this child, and you need to settle the mind. And if it runs away, you pull it back, and sit it down and pull it back, sit. And I was like, Okay, well, that only works if you’re meditating. But I’m trying to write a book here, bro. Like, how can I apply this and I was like, holy shoot, I need to trick my ADHD brain into being satisfied with something while also focusing on like my work. So this is exactly what I did. I was like, I love Fight Club, the movie Fight Club. I even made this fight club hat. And I love it. My entire offense is FICO memorabilia over it. I have action figures all because I even got a piece of the film here. I love it. And so I was like, Okay, I know Fight Club. So I don’t need to concentrate on watching the movie because I already know every single line in the movie. So I put it on on my iPad here. And then I got to work, right. So I’m working here go through a block. And I it is evenings, like, hey, I want to go do some stuff has caused some havoc, and then I look around. And then my brain catches the iPad because it wants to be fulfilled with something that’s not the thing I’m focusing on. It notices that it’s Fight Club, it knows that I’ve already seen it. So it goes okay, I’m satisfied. And they go back to focusing my work. That was like, Holy shit, like that blew my mind works every single time it works.
Kristen Carder 31:37
I cannot wait to implement that, dude. Like,
Speaker 2 31:40
seriously, like, and I did it. I do it as well. So I was talking earlier before we started like, I so I do I run every day, I try to run every day. So I run at least four times a day, four times a week. And four times a day. I used to run two times a day. I would I would I would literally run four times a day if I could but we have work to do. So you can’t do it. Running is so runnings amazing. I always say the expression of after you pass a mile. It’s like you touch the hand of God. And then you just go and it’s amazing. So running is cool. But the only thing about running is that when I’m running and I’m listening to music, I’m like I’m trying to skip music constantly, right? Because like, it’s deep, and I just like it would be like that was the whole song. What was that one part or you can’t do like you’re running? Oh, I need to drop my iPhone. So I’m like, Oh, shit. So I’m running. I’m thinking like, I want to do something. But I also have this excessive thirst for knowledge. So I fused audiobooks with running. So now when I’m running, I’m listening to audiobooks. So I’m learning and so my ADHD brain is like, yeah, we’re learning new stuff, because the book is constantly changing, because somebody’s talking to you. It’s amazing. And like, I could literally run for, I think, like seven or eight miles and let’s do a whole book was amazing. Yeah. Oh, my word.
Kristen Carder 32:44
I used to run so much. And I have not ran since my third child, but you’re really selling it to me, you’re really selling it?
Speaker 2 32:55
I, you know, I’ve no and I, as I say I like people say like, you know, you know, how do you how do you get? How do you get closer to God or whatever. You know, like, I mean, God like the universe, like, you know, whatever you want to call it allowed God, you know, your whole world, the universe wavering. And I say I go running. And it’s because it’s, it’s it’s so euphoric. Because what it does is it aligns you with, with physical movement. It aligns your mind with being outdoors, you can see like stuff in real life, you’re not changed somewhere, you’re constantly moving. And if you’re not moving forward, you’re kind of declining, really. So you know, practice makes progress and progress goes forward, right? So I’m always wanting to move forward. So running makes me move forward. This is why I always move. The thing I always have to talk I have to move. And so yeah, so running is great. Virtual physical mentors is awesome.
Kristen Carder 33:41
All right, you’re selling it, dude, we’ll do it together.
Speaker 2 33:44
I’ll hold me accountable. I’ll text you. I’ll be like, Chris, get off the couch. But down the chips will
Kristen Carder 33:51
tell you this morning, I sat on the couch and I looked at the outside world and I was like, Nah, I just
Speaker 2 33:59
died. So and that’s the thing. It’s so fulfilling. Like, you know, and this is another thing this goes back to train the ADHD like when I’m when I’m when I’m coaching people, I always say like, Oh, I’ve got no no, no motivation to do anything. Right? And I’m like, Okay, I know, that feels like, it feels like your feet are made of lead. And you you’re you feel worthless. Because like, Look, I’m not good at anything. We’re gonna sit here, we’re gonna leverage another day. Let’s just break it down. Let’s have one thing achieved. Within that day, we’re gonna get a list, we’re gonna get a piece of paper, I’m going to write down today I need to make my bed, right? So you get out of bed. You make the bed and you go the list. I can take it off the list and you go shit. I’ve accomplished something. And by accomplishing just that one, you say, Okay, I’m gonna put two things on my list tomorrow, right? And so just say we’re running like I feel. Sometimes I look outside. I’m like, it’s cold. Like today. It was snowing, right? It was snowing. It’s ice everywhere. I’m like, it’s cold as balls. I shouldn’t I should really just just gagging No, I’m gonna go I’m gonna go running and that’s it. Now I’m going to do it and I make like, I like Don’t, don’t don’t you slack out on it down. You know? I mean, you have to hold yourself accountable. Both and if you can’t hold yourself accountable, like how you do anything in life, right, so like, dammit. So when I’m like on the run, I’m starting to read I’m like, this is stupid idea. And then like a mile and I’m like, This is great. Like it just changes like that is awesome.
Kristen Carder 35:11
It’s so good. Okay, tell us some specific characteristics of autism. So we’ve got emotional dysregulation, yes. Yep. Hyper fixation on like a special interest. Yes. trouble making eye contact often Yes, yes. trouble understanding social cues. Yes. Am I missing anything what else
Speaker 2 35:34
you’d be. So they have this thing called sensory processing disorder, which comes with autism, right? You’re totally interesting about sensory processing disorder is that you can’t get a diagnosis of sensory processing disorder, outside or independently of autism. But you can get an Yeah, you can get an autism diagnosis independently of sensory processing disorder. Okay? So but like, so it’s like, not all fingers, toes, or thumbs up, or thumbs or fingers, wherever, that kind of thing. So it’s kind of like, not everybody with autism has sensory processing disorder, but everybody was sensory problems are definitely has autism. Right. So it’s really, it’s really interesting. But then it goes deeper. So sensory processing disorder, but then you have executive function, which is basically like, you know, how do you do the washing go to fucking go to the store and buy shit, right?
Kristen Carder 36:23
We know all about executive function over here.
Speaker 2 36:27
Love of routine. This is super specific for autistic people. I know everyone loves routine, right? Humans are humans of habit and routine causes ease of survival, because our binary impulse is to procreate and survive. We’re erased. That’s all we do. You know. But in autism, it’s specifically routine based comfort, because and this is why this is why a lot of people don’t know so Oh, yeah, absolutely. People will routinely Why Why was this? We were already taking delivery routines. I’ll tell you why. Because the entire world is so flippin chaotic. You need control of something, and how do you get control? You control the environment you exist in, and that environment is your routine. And that’s it. And that’s basically the simple part of it. And so yeah, that’s that’s kind of that’s, that’s what we I think we’ve covered most of the things in a natural way.
Kristen Carder 37:09
What about stemming, I sense that it’s probably similar to sensory processing disorder, where not everyone with autism stems, is that true? But everyone who stems has autism? Yes. Well, you know, I guess, to your stimuli, too. So yeah.
Speaker 2 37:24
So stemming, actually, stemming stands for it’s short, it’s a short term. And I’ve you know, it’s because the short term for self stimulatory behavior. And so this could be restless leg syndrome, you know, people sitting down there shaking their legs, I mean, I know neurotypical people use Energica legs. And it’s because they have, a lot of adrenaline goes through the body, because the thought process is going 1000 miles an hour. And you don’t have to be artistic or PhD to have that. But you can have that whilst being autistic and ADHD. And so stemming for autism is a reaction or an impulse reaction to either emotionally positive or emotion negative situation. So say you’re excited to go to theme park, or some people might like, you know, Father hands or, or kind of like stem or rocks or forwards. And because they’re excited, because the, they can’t regulate that emotion. Again, it goes back to emotional regulation, right? It’s a byproduct of that. And then if you’re, say, really sad, see, somebody comes up to you like, Hey, man, you’re a dick for shit. Like, you know, in any field threatened, you’d stem because it’s comfortable, right? And so again, you don’t know how to deal with that situation. But the thing you do know how to deal with is the, you know, controlling your environment, like I go back to earlier. And so if you can control how you feel and can create a create a sensation in your body and mind that you feel safe, and okay, and you know, self service, you behaviors is that key, then that’s how stimming happens. And so stimming is interesting, like it and stimuli has changed over the years for me, like when I was a kid, like, you know, I, I do a lot of different things. Like, you know, I’d like rock rocks and forwards, like, flick my eyes and stuff like that. And I actually shake my eyes quite a bit. That’s kind of like a big stim. Not everybody can shake their eyes, but like, do that, which is really weird, right? My son can do it. He’s like, Hey, check this out. I was like, holy smokes, I could do for my partner. She can’t do either. And I’m like, the club. But um, but yeah, but now my stems are definitely rocking, rocking backwards or forwards. Like, my legs can’t see still. And my hands will flap sometimes as well, or my fingers Twitch like this. And so it’s kind of like, it just evolves because like, I don’t even know doing this is something very interesting. I see a lot of autistic people saying like, Oh, I’m gonna go with STEM. I’m like, Dude, how, what are you talking about? Like, I don’t even know I’m doing until somebody points it out and says like, Oh, you did this? Oh my gosh, yeah. Like, you know that there’s, there’s so many like, there’s there’s so many Miss construed kind of versions of stimuli. People say I’m going to do stim dancing is like, what are you talking about? Dude, you’re what I am very much in favor of doing physical activity to to regulate kind of proprioception and get kind of like, you know, all those things going and it’s really good for you, buddy. But I don’t think it’s really it’s a stimming right? It’s really weird. People say this stuff. So, you know, maybe just maybe I don’t Maybe I don’t know everything right, and maybe I haven’t come across that, but this is just my my input on it
Kristen Carder 40:05
as an ADHD or a lot of us stem when we’re bored, so I’ll like Trump, my GM, I have like a balance board here. So I’ll rock back and forth on my balance board like it, but it’s a it’s almost to keep me engaged in whatever it is that I’m doing. So I’m always like, chomping on a piece of gum when I’m writing a podcast or I’m always like laying on the couch and my feet are like, just doing it my husband’s leg and he’s like,
Speaker 2 40:30
really, it’s the iPad thing I was telling you about, right? Your your, your, your soothing or pacifying, a restlessness or an irritability within the brain. And that’s exactly what you’re doing is exactly it. And so like when I fall asleep, to go to sleep, and I fucking hate Sleep, sleep is like the dumbest thing ever, because it’s the most kind of, like, unused time of your life, like you spend most of our life sleeping as I was pointing out, but like, but like, I rub my feet together to go to sleep, like, you know, so I have to stim to go to sleep. And I don’t know, I’m doing it. It’s like, dude, like, you know, I mean, and so it’s really funny, like, yeah, it’s not exclusive to autism. But I’ll tell you something. That’s that is, I think, I have never seen it outside of autism and Tourette syndrome is ticking. So, so ticks and I thought my tics was stems are initially when I was first started making videos, but then I realized that there were two different things, right, because like, oh, and but because I can, because like when I actually I haven’t, I don’t take that often in works on medication. And so it really helped with the text, which is kind of crazy and help with the hitting of the heads and stuff and stuff. Really, really Excuse me, do you like medication is just like amazing. Oh, excuse me, even though like, like, I’m each their own. Like somebody’s like, I don’t get toxic or stuff. My body? I’m like, Yeah, did you do you, man? You hug you know, and I’m cool about it. But like, for me for years, I didn’t it was only 2020. I was like, Look, you know, I need something. I need something. Goodness.
Kristen Carder 41:55
Yeah. Regarding ticks, people with OCD can tick as well.
Speaker 2 42:02
Yes, yes, that is true. That is true. And yeah. Oh, so I do have a diagnosis of OCD as well. So that was my, when I first diagnosed with Asperger’s, it was asked what is ADHD and OCD? Sorry, I should have said that again. And there is a huge difference between Asperges and repetitive behavior and OCD. Because there’s a massive difference. People always think like, and this is another thing people think of OCD is like, I have got a clean house. I like have my shoes, and I’m like that’s not OCD dude. Like, you know, my dude, like, seriously, like, I couldn’t leave the house sometimes to go to my university classes on time, because I’d be so worried that if I didn’t want this stuff, someone’s gonna die. You know, like, so it’s kind of like, you know, having a clean house is one thing, having things put in a certain way in a certain order. How many times is the always and it’s just, it’s crazy. And it was so like, crippling like Elon, it made me sad. You know, and I can I can see why the life expectancy of people on the autism spectrum kind of like depreciates. You know, because if you’re surrounded by that all the time, it’s not it’s not good. Yeah. I’ve had some really tough times.
Kristen Carder 43:00
No, that’s, that’s so hard.
Speaker 2 43:03
That is the worst. Sorry, no, I’m just saying that is the worst part of it, that OCD is probably the most I can do. I can deal with anything I can deal with, you know, hitting myself self harm trauma, but like OCD makes you almost really like and it’s deep, but it makes you almost want to not exist like that’s it, it gives you like I just rather not, I just rather not have that pain is painful. So I anybody listening who has OCD, you can overcome it. So
Kristen Carder 43:26
I would love to have you back to just have a chat about OCD because I have one of my kiddos. I got him evaluated when he was, I don’t know, 12 ish. And I truly thought that we were going to have an autism diagnosis. And it instead it was an OCD diagnosis. And as we have treated, the OCD, his life has become so much better. The tics have stopped, he’s so less, less aggressive, the compulsion to like hyper focus on his other people’s behavior to make everything perfect. I mean, it has just improved so much. So yes, anyone with OCD? Listening, it can for sure improve. And for him, it was a combination of medication and therapy.
Speaker 2 44:15
There’s some fantastic medication out there for OCD. I haven’t been medicated for OCD actually use a different approach. I went to see, I went to see a doctor, like the clinician, and I was like, dude, yeah, he’s probably OCD. And he’s like, Well, basically, this is my advice. Don’t do it. See what happens. I was like, Oh, my dad is like a world’s worst advice, right? Yeah, I was like, okay, so I left the meeting. I was like, that’s it. We’re doomed. But you know, one thing I will say about it, it’s living hell it’s, or OCD is something tell. I’ll tell you what OCD is like vine’s it will just spread and seep into everything and when you feel you have control of it, it will just bleed into something else and it takes control your life and it’s suffocates you. It’s It’s horrible. I never use this word. I hate OCD. And I never use that word.
Kristen Carder 45:06
Wow. Wow. Okay, I have noticed that with a lot of my clients, I coach a lot of adults with ADHD. And I’ve noticed that about 15 to 20% of them kind of in their introductions or as I get to know them mentioned that they, they believe they have some autism tendencies, and like, maybe there’s some overlap. But a lot of that some of them have been diagnosed, but a lot of them have not been diagnosed. And I’m curious to hear your perspective. Do you think there’s a benefit to seeking an evaluation and getting a diagnosis of autism? Or is it kind of just like, yeah, if you, if you think you have it, whatever, like, what are your thoughts on? Is it worth it to seek an evaluation? Yeah, well, let’s
Speaker 2 45:54
to this, you know, I do a lot of videos on this, this question, and there’s two. Okay, so first of all, ADHD, and autism, there’s a very fine line between them, they they’re very, very close. Because, like I said, you know, you you’re, they do similar things, like, you know, autistic people want to kind of like, have very calm monotone talking, but then ADHD wants you to talk really fast and all over the place. And so we have very similar, they run parallel to each other, almost so close that, you know, and so, I think that there’s, there’s more autistic people than there is ADHD, people who just don’t know it yet. You know, the, the ADHD people just don’t realize it, because then they’re managing very well, on their own. They’re doing the, and the ADHD therapy that they do get all the coaching with you get helps forces them to write. And so I think that, you know, and I get some my clients as well, so I, so I, I’d say like, I run courses and memberships and coach people, and people ask me, Is there a benefit? Like, what what? Can I get off an autism diagnosis? Look, what do you need? You know, like, do you want peace of mind? Well, you’ll get it from an awesome diagnosis, maybe? Or maybe you won’t, but it’s if saying yes or no pleases you then get it? Do you need additional support that you can only get if you have a black and white on paper that you have autism? Then go for that? You know, like, so it’s all down to? So there is benefits? Yes. Excuse me, but on the same word, like, there’s a bunch of people I know, who, who would say that they, you know, they definitely only instruction, but they won’t get a diagnosis. They just like, like, I don’t need that’s prevented into me, because I am who I’m gonna save my life. I don’t want any support. I don’t want any help. I’m trying to do me until I die. And that’s fine. And so it’s kind of like, okay, cool. You know, for me, it was kind of like, you know, I didn’t do it, because I was like, Hey, I think there’s something wrong. There’s something wrong here. Like it happened it like I had a huge meltdown at work, and then cascaded down, or I had to work from home or school for therapy with a therapist, my doctor, my doctor referred me to autism unit, and then I got a diagnosis. And that’s how, that’s how it happened. But, you know, a lot of people, maybe they, they know that their kid, you know, they can see it, they watch my videos, or you know, whatever. And they go, because definitely not some spectrum. And I really need to get them into this therapy, you know, or, or the school, whatever. How do I do and say, well, what’s the requirements? Is it really a nice day, at least at at least neither diagnosis and like, well, that you guys your first point, and this is why we’re trying to make the autism diagnosis process accessible for everybody, no matter where you are. If you don’t take something else we’re going to do is we’re actually going to, we’re doing like a, like a scholarship fund where, where every month, we’re gonna be able to pay for someone who is on the bone to their ass to get the diagnosis. So So you’re a mom and you’re broken. You’re like, look, I’d love to, but I don’t have like 900 bucks, we’ll be like, we’ll do it. We’ll do it for you. You don’t mean? So that’s like, that’s what we’re gonna do. I honestly, my overall goal, you’ll love this. My overall goal is, and this is my world goal, I’m going to become a billionaire, right? And I am going to buy out the American healthcare system and implement social care. Like, that’s it. That’s my goal I want to give I want to give free health or universal health care to everybody in America because it’s difficult. You’re in a scam. It’s they’re scamming you out with stuff. They’re selling you stuff you don’t even need, and they’re way over charging for it. I mean, even if you go down to Guantanamo Bay and go across into Cuba, and get some health care there because universal, right? You for an inhaler for asthma, because you’re like 15 cents in America. $25. So what, like it’s the same product? Who the who’s putting that tax on top of it.
Kristen Carder 49:13
horrible word. Oh, my word. I am so excited about the work that you’re doing. And I’m just, I don’t ever want to stop chatting.
Unknown Speaker 49:23
So sorry. I just feel like I’ve been talking at you.
Kristen Carder 49:26
Amazing. I love it. So much. So your YouTube channel is an amazing resource. And I’m curious, like, Do you have any other resources that you recommend? Well, definitely like your YouTube. I know you have every social link to you have everything so every social
Speaker 2 49:42
media platform you can go on. It’s the same name at the ASPI world so it’s just you know, th e SPI e wo rld. So it’s just as well and yeah, like I put I literally upload videos every single day on Tik Tok, Instagram, YouTube, Facebook and Twitter like every single day, dude, do Don’t do two videos a day on YouTube.
Kristen Carder 50:02
I am so in awe. I am scared to break into YouTube in any sort of way. And the fact that you’re putting two videos out a day is just it’s so impressive.
Daniel Jones 50:16
Do those four videos a day on Facebook?
Kristen Carder 50:19
So you’ve really, you’ve really pared back. Yeah, no,
Speaker 2 50:23
I have I’ve kind of gone from four to two, you know, but YouTube is like we have such an advantage now, with with social media. And the longer I was there for the taking, if you want to work hard to do it is achievable. There’s nothing stopping you, right? Like I started with zero subscribers, I have 223,000 subscribers plus right now, right? I’m gonna have five and a half 1000 subscribers every 20 days, right? It’s still good. And I do that because I can work out I never paid a single person to advertising or paid an agency. I did it all on my own. And I have my own in house staff right then. And I teach them I actually coach businesses on to how to optimize their channels and YouTube growth. And so anyone could do it. And how I did it sat down every single day, until three o’clock in the morning, learning how they worked. Every single day. You put the work in you get out thermodynamics, dude, like energy and vs energy out, like, put it in, you get it out. It’s just how it works.
Kristen Carder 51:18
It’s amazing. Daniel, thank you so much for being here. I love chatting with you. I love the spiciness. I’m here for all of it. I just appreciate your time and everything that you have shared. I just I know my listeners are really gonna get so much out of it. So I appreciate you.
Speaker 2 51:34
Yeah, dude. Honestly, if anybody wants to talk to me, you can just email me if anybody let me know your listeners has any questions or anything I’m doing. I want to ask you a question. I always message everybody back so you can email me the ASPI [email protected] So yeah, just let me know honestly, dude, because like, you know, how many YouTubers don’t message people back predicting or how busy you are. I’m like, dude, these people need help. Like, who am I to take that away from them? Ridiculous.
Kristen Carder 51:58
Beautiful. Daniel, thank you so much for being here. Hey, ADHD, or I see you I know exactly what it’s like to feel lost, confused, frustrated and like no one out there really understands the way that your brain works. That’s why I created Focus. Focus is my monthly coaching program where I lead you through a step by step process of understanding yourself feeling better and creating the life that you know you’re meant for your study be coached, grow, and make amazing changes alongside of other educated professional adults with ADHD from all over the world. Visit Ihaveadhd.com/focused to learn more.