Kristen Carder 0:05
Welcome to the I have ADHD podcast, where it’s all about education, encouragement and coaching for adults. With ADHD, I’m your host, Kristen Carter and I have ADHD, let’s chat about the frustrations, humor and challenges of adulting, relationships, working and achieving with this neuro developmental disorder, I’ll help you understand your unique brain, unlock your potential and move from point A to point B. Hey, what’s up? This is Kristen Carter, and you’ve tuned into the I have ADHD podcast. I am medicated, caffeinated, regulated and ready to roll. What’s up, what’s up. How are you come in, come in. Come in, come in, get in the room. Get cozy, whatever it is that you’re doing. Just like know that for the next 40 to 60 minutes, you and I we’re going to be hanging out. I’m so glad you’re here. So glad that you press play on this podcast. Today. We’re talking about the changing of the seasons, guys, it’s August. How is it August? How is it I’m like the panic, the panic that is setting in. How is it August? I have no idea we’re going to be talking about it today. We’re going to be collectively together, self soothing and really trying to, like burn into our brains that summer isn’t over. We haven’t wasted it, no matter what like emotional soup we might be feeling about it being August, we’re gonna, we’re gonna be okay, and maybe you’re like, so happy that the summer is ending because you don’t like the summer. I don’t, I don’t know what kind of monster doesn’t like the summer, but I know some of you don’t enjoy being hot. I have heard, I have heard it rumored that that is true, and listen, that’s fine. All are welcome here. We do not discriminate. However, I do not understand, I do not understand that’s fine. And maybe even you’re in a different hemisphere. Maybe you’re in Australia, and it’s winter and you’re like, Excuse me, I’m freezing right now. Well, I’m, uh, this episode’s for you too, my friends, this episode is for you too. Here’s where we’re gonna go today. We’ll start with a voicemail, lots to say about that voicemail, followed by an unhinged story of my latest ADHD quest. We’re going to go into some research a resource, and we’ll end with a rant about summertime, and we’re going to all do the collective morning of like summer is coming to a close. It is about to change seasons. This is a jam packed episode for you, so let’s get rolling. We’re going to start out with a voicemail from Aubrey. Aubrey, she has a complicated question. I think it’s something that a lot of you will relate to. So let’s hear from Aubrey.
Caller 3:01
Hi Kristen, it’s Aubrey. I know that you’ve had several other careers in the past before the podcast, and I’m just wondering if you can touch on like, how did you know that this was the thing for you? Rather than just like a shiny new ADHD obsession, the podcast has obviously been very successful, which is awesome for you and for us, but I guess I’m just wondering, like, if it hadn’t been successful, how long would you have given it before trying something else? I feel like the dopamine of success and money definitely is a huge motivator, and being able to stick with something even when it’s super hard. But like for someone who isn’t getting any success or money from their endeavors, I’m just curious number one, how do you pick something when you could imagine yourself being happy and fulfilled doing lots of things like, what are the exact questions one might ask themselves to figure out their why and gain purpose and clarity. Number two, how do you not crash and burn after a few months or years of doing it? And number three, how do you ignore all the little voices of doubt and panic when the thing isn’t working or when you’ve lost interest in it. I’m sorry if this question is a lot just struggling in this like Groundhog Day loop of picking something up and then throwing it away. So thank you so much for your podcast. I have genuinely learned so much about myself over the years, and nobody does it like you. So thank you.
Kristen Carder 4:40
Oh my gosh, that was so nice. Thank you, Aubrey. That was such a compliment. I didn’t expect that at the end there, thank you. Okay, what I want to know from Aubrey and anyone who is resonating with what she’s saying, is, why do you keep throwing things away? You said, I keep picking things up and then throwing them away. I. I just want to know, like, Why? Why are we throwing them away? You asked me, How do you How did you know that this was the thing for you? I didn’t know. I didn’t know. I was scared. I didn’t I didn’t know. So for those of you who don’t know my story. I started podcasting at the very end of 2018 I was, at the time, running a tutoring company. So I owned a tutoring company. It was like a learning center in my hometown, and I was working with students who struggled in school. I was overseeing seven employees. It was great. I loved it. I was good at it. I enjoyed it. It took me a while, but I built it up to where I was making enough money to pay our bills, and we were living, you know, a comfortable ish life. And I was really happy with that. And then I started the podcast, and I was doing two things at one time, I was podcasting and I was running the tutoring business, and then I started coaching, and so I was podcasting and coaching and still running my tutoring business. I didn’t know that this would be a really good successful move, but I did know that people had started listening to the podcast, and a lot of people were requesting coaching from me more than I had time to serve. Like more people were reaching out than I had time to fulfill. And so that was great, but, but to leave something that you love, that you’re good at that is paying the bills to go to something else was such a hard decision. And I remember sitting in our family room, Greg and I sitting there, and me being like, I feel like I should make this change, but I’m scared, and I don’t just like you said, Aubrey, I don’t want it to be shiny object syndrome. Am I just like ditching the one thing for something that I think, like the grass is greener, and that decision was really difficult. Ultimately, there was no magic pill. There was no magic way to figure it out. And I think for those of you who are struggling to start, that might be a reason why that you’re waiting around for the magic. You’re waiting around for, like, I just need a sign from the heavens, or I just need to, like, be sure that this is going to work. And unfortunately, as humans, we don’t, we’re not afforded that assurance. We don’t get to know in advance if something is going to be successful. That’s just like the cold, hard facts. It sucks. I wish that wasn’t the case, but that is just what it is. So I will say, and I already said this, there was, you know, there were people listening to the podcast, there were people reaching out for coaching. It’s not like I wasn’t seeing success in those areas, but was it enough to make a career transition?
I don’t know, but Greg was so encouraging. He was like, Just do it. Just go for it. You like you are feeling this pull toward it. And so I had his support in order to make that change, that was huge. But I did. I worked two jobs for over a year, like building up the podcast and the coaching business, and working two jobs is not fun. That was not fun. I had two jobs. I had three kids. It was not easy. So when I made that transition, it did. It felt heavy, it felt scary. It was like embarking on something with very little assurance. So I don’t think that’s going to be helpful to you, because I think what you want me to say is like there are some clear, cut ways that you can know exactly when to make a switch. And I just there’s just not, and I’m sorry. I’m really sorry about that. Let me go to your next question, which is like, how do you not crash and burn when the dopamine wears off? And I will tell you that I do crash and burn. I do. Do you think that I wanted to come into the podcast studio today and record this podcast? I’m sorry. I love you. I love you, Aubrey and all of you listening. But no, I did not. It is a gorgeous day, and I was out, like, in my garden, puttering around, weeding, deadheading flowers. I was picking hydrangeas, and I did not want to come to work. Like, who wants to go to work? Do you know what I’m saying? So, like, I think again, that we have this idea that if I’m doing what I’m meant to do, that I’m gonna feel good about it all the time, and that, like, the dopamine will never wear off. And that is just not true. Like, I know that this is the job for me. I know that, like. Driving into Philly and coming here and recording the pot. I know this is what I meant to do, but did I want to do it today? No, was I dreading it even last night as I was, like, preparing, yeah, I was dreading it. Like, I’m sorry. I hope that’s not offensive to you. Like, do you think? Do you maybe you think that I’m just, like, on a dopamine high all day, every day, with my job. I’m not. I’m not. I just, I just want to, like, bum around and wear pajamas and putter in my garden. That’s all I want to do.
So, yeah, I think that, like we do crash and burn, but the why behind it has to be strong. So the why is, I want to help as many people with ADHD as possible. The why is, if I don’t podcast, then I won’t have a podcast. That’s just like, pretty cut and dry. I want to have a podcast, and if I don’t come in here and record it, I’m not going to have a podcast. You know? I mean, I wanna be a person who has a successful podcast. Well, in order to do that, I gotta put on my Philadelphia Phillies t shirt and come on in here to Manayunk and record this podcast like that’s just what I have to do. I want my kids to be able to go to college. I wanna be able to retire like those things also are drivers, right? So I really, really want you to know that no matter what you choose to do, there will be days, weeks, months, when you’re just like, I don’t want to do it. I don’t want to do it. It doesn’t mean it’s the wrong thing. Never in my in my last six years have I thought, Oh, I’m on the wrong course. This is just what it feels like to have a job. This is just what it feels like to be doing the right thing in your life. It doesn’t actually feel good. And I think so many people with ADHD are waiting around to feel really good in their job, in their career, like, like, really, like, dopa meany and very just aligned all of the time. And like, this is, I don’t have any fear, I don’t have any doubt, I don’t wonder if this is the right thing. I’m just like, this is just perfect all the time. And truly, I think having a job is just hard. I think being human is hard. I think being obligated to, like, put on a bra and go to work is hard, like, I’m sorry, it’s just is not ever easy. And so I think that you can be doing aligned work and still crash and burn and still feel like I don’t I don’t want to do it. I don’t want to do it every day I come in here, I tell Dan, I tell Dan, I don’t want to do it. It’s too hard. I’m already sweating recording this is like, I’ve got cameras looking at me. I’ve got a timer going. Isn’t my computer. There’s just, like, so much involved. So I do crash and burn. You’re witnessing it right now. You’re witnessing my crash and burn. But what I want you to know is that that is just a part of it. We don’t get to have a job and do meaningful work without crashing and burning almost constantly. It’s just, in my opinion, in my experience, just the way it is. Your last question is, how do you ignore the voices of panic or doubt? I panic on the regular. I’ve I’ve really done a good job of self soothing and taking care of myself and giving myself what I need, and not making the panic or doubt mean that I should throw in the towel again. Panic and doubt are just par for the course in anything that you do, especially if it’s something new, especially if it’s something that you’ve never done before, especially if it’s something forward facing on a camera on YouTube, listening on on like, all of that stuff, like the panic and doubt is just extremely a part of it. What am I trying to say here? It is just a part of it. So how do I ignore it? I don’t necessarily ignore it. I’m more just, like, observe it and keep going. Oh, there’s the panic, there’s the doubt. Yep, that’s what’s involved. That’s what we got here. That’s what that’s what we do.
You know when, like, Greg came in with me, and we talked about our marriage, and we talked about our kids, like there is panic and doubt there, that, like I’m being so exposed and like my relationship is on display. And what are people gonna think and what are, what are the observations gonna be about the way that we interact, the way that we relate to each other? I have no idea. There’s a lot of doubt in there. There’s mild panic. And even with Greg like us, and I was like, your episodes coming out, and he was like, Oh my gosh, it is hard. So panic and doubt again, they don’t mean that you’re on the wrong course. They mean that like you’re just a human do. Doing human things, and panic and doubt are just along for the ride. So I observe them. I’m just like, Oh, there you are. Sometimes I have to, like, sit and really breathe through them and like, regulate myself, regulate my emotions, regulate my nervous system. But in general, I just expect them to be there. Instead of saying, uh oh, something’s gone wrong. Panic and doubt are here. I guess I’m on the wrong path. I’m just like, Yeah, this is just what it feels like to do the things. Oh, gosh. So I just want to encourage you, Aubrey, and anyone who relates to aubrey’s questions, like, just choose something and give it your all and decide that it’s the right thing. Because who’s gonna make that decision for you, if not you? Who better than you to decide what the right thing is? Just make a decision. Go for it, give it all you’ve got, allow the crash and burn, allow the voices of panic, allow the dopamine to ebb and flow, but mostly ebb. The dopamine will ebb and flow, but it will mostly ebb. It will mostly just feel like work, because it’s work. This is just what it feels like to work. And I’m saying, and it’s so interesting, because when, if we ever have the privilege of stopping work, I think that’s not going to feel good either. Like, I just don’t think that humans get to feel good all the time. I think most of the time we’re just kind of in this state of, like, I wish I was doing something else. Like, all day long, I’m like, I wish I was in my bed. Do you know I’m saying? Like, I just think that that’s kind of what it is to be human, and that’s okay. It doesn’t mean something’s wrong. It just means like, Yeah, this is the human experience. So Aubrey, thank you so much for calling in. Thank you for allowing me to go off and rant an answer to your question, and if you want your question answered on the podcast, I would absolutely love to hear from you. The number is 833-281-2343, again, that’s 833-281-2343, you can just call. Leave me a message. I listen to every single one of them. I answer as many as I can. I absolutely love to hear from you. Everyone with ADHD knows what to do to improve their lives. You go to bed at a reasonable time, you wake up early, you make a list, you cross things off the list in order, blah, blah, blah.
Like, yeah, we know what to do, but ADHD is not a disorder of not knowing what to do. It’s a disorder of knowing exactly what to do but not being able to get yourself to do it. That’s why I created focused. It’s an ADHD coaching membership for adults with ADHD. I’m a life coach with multiple certifications, and since 2019 I’ve coached over 4000 adults with ADHD from all over the world. I know what it takes to help an adult with ADHD go from Hot Mess express to grounded and thriving. I’ll teach you how to understand your ADHD brain, regulate your emotions and your behavior and accept yourself, flaws and all. And with this foundation, we’ll build the skills to improve your life with ADHD. And not only do you get skills and tools and focus, but you’re surrounded by a huge community of adults with ADHD who are also doing the work of self development right alongside of you. Dr Ned Hallowell says healing happens in community, and I have absolutely found this to be true. So if you’re an adult with ADHD who wants to figure out how to be motivated from the inside out and make real, lasting changes in your life. Join hundreds of others from around the world in focused go to I have adhd.com/focused to learn more. That’s I have adhd.com/focused to check it out. Okay, so I want to tell you about some unhinged ADHD quest that I have been on in the last in the last couple of weeks, and that is, this is so silly. It’s so silly, I’m almost embarrassed to tell you, but it relates to, like summertime, and it relates to being in nature. And so I just, I think it’s important for me to tell this story. So I live in a neighborhood that was built in the last four years. So over the last four years, my neighborhood has been built. It’s been complete for about a year now. And at the entrance, at the one entrance of the neighborhood, there are two gardens, like one on either corner, and it’s a very interesting thing happening in those gardens, because the builders or someone planted these areas, it’s just like a little entrance to the neighborhood. And. Some neighborhoods have, like, fancy signs. Ours does not have a fancy sign. That’s totally fine, but there’s just like, garden areas at the entrance of the neighborhood. And when I tell you that in the two or three years that those gardens have been there, that no one has taken care of them, it makes my heart so sad. No one’s taking care of them, at least not for the last two summers. So they’ve just been completely overgrown. There’s weeds everywhere. Um, it’s the kind of situation, you know that meme where all the spider men, spider mans, Spider Man, not sure, are standing in a circle. There’s like five or six Spider Man costume people, this is getting awkward. Okay? Anyway, they’re all pointing to each other, like, it’s you, it’s you know, it’s you. It knows you. That is what it’s like with these gardens. So like the the HOA says that it’s the property owner, like the people who have corner houses, it’s their responsibility and but the property people are like, well, we’re not this is not this is not our property. We’re not paying taxes on this. So the township says it’s the HOAs problem. The HOA says it’s the property owners problem. The property owner is just like, I’m not sure whose problem it is, but I’m not dealing with it. And so inevitably, everyone’s pointing at each other, and no one’s taking care of the garden. So this year, I said to Greg in the spring.
I was like, I think I’m going to like, it’s kind of awkward. I’m not a part of the HOA. I don’t live in these corner homes, but like, somebody needs to take care of these gardens. So I have started an ADHD side quest. Am I in the middle of writing a book? Yes. Do I have three children? Yes. Do I have a full time job? I do, but I am also now weeding and cleaning up and pruning rose bushes, which, if you’re on YouTube, you can see some scratches pruning rose bushes, or like knockout rose bushes. I don’t know if those actually count as rose bushes, and making these corner gardens, like these entrances at least, like, acceptable, like, they’re just so overgrown. It’s like, embarrassing. Like, this is our neighborhood. It’s so beautiful. This has been such an ADHD side quest. I lay in my bed at night, and think about it. So the first day I went, and I I brought, like, some small tools and gloves, and I was like, weeding, and people were passing me, like, you know, neighbors, like, driving in their cars. And I’m just like, oh my gosh, this is kind of embarrassing. Like, what right do I have to be here? But also, this is, isn’t it, all of ours? I’m not sure. And then the next time I went, I realized I needed a shovel. So now I’m out there with a shovel. Kristen Carter, should I be writing a book? Yes. Should I be doing my job? Yes. Should I be parenting my children? Yeah, I should, but I’m not doing any of that. I’m weeding these garden entrances, and I have no idea what the point of this is, other than to say I still have ADHD, I still get hyper focused on things that like, Is this really a priority in my life? Probably not. It’s probably not a priority, but I want it to look nice, and I love to garden, and it is a procrastivity task where I’m like, I would rather do this than anything else in my life right now. Shout out to Aubrey. Back to Aubrey and being like, how do you know it’s the right? Like, I don’t want to write my book, I don’t want to do my job, I don’t want to parent my kids. You know what? I’m I want to go weed that garden over there that doesn’t belong to me, that has no owner. Apparently, I’m gonna, I’m gonna go weed that. And I was saying to Greg last night, maybe that’s what I do in my retirement, is just go around from like, garden to garden, like, doesn’t belong to me, like the rogue gardener, and just like, weed random shit all day, every day. He was like, I think that would get old. Like, Okay, that’s fair, that’s fair, but I think that’s like a note of procrastivity. It’s a note of ADHD, and it’s also just allowing ourselves to be in nature and enjoy simplicity. There’s something so simple about an overgrown garden that like you get to see immediate gratification, immediate results, immediate like this is so much better.
It’s so cute. So anyway, if any of my neighbors are listening, I hope you don’t feel intruded upon. If the HOA is listening, you guys are worthless. You do nothing. I’m annoyed if the township or the builder or the developer, like none of you all are listening, but I it truly is. And we’ll show that meme on if you’re listening on YouTube. We’ll show that that meme where it’s just like everybody is pointing at everybody else, and I’m just. Like, you know what? I’ma weed it. I’m a weed that thing good. I I want to encourage you that if you have just like, a little side quest, a little side project, don’t hold yourself back if, if you can afford it. And by afford, I mean like, if you do have a little spare time. If you do have a little spare energy, don’t hold yourself back from doing things that like are meaningful to you. So for me, it’s meaningful to have a beautiful entrance, to drive into the neighborhood and not be like, Oh my gosh, the thing is so overgrown. The weeds are higher than the actual shrubs. Like that’s embarrassing to me that mattered. I don’t know why. Who cares? I don’t know why, but I just, I did it. I do actually, I’m still doing it, and I’m still it’s like, the one side is completely done. It looks so much better, and then the other side is like, only maybe a quarter of the way done. So I’ve still got my work cut out for me. I’m letting all of my rose bush scratches heal before I go back. All right, we’re gonna move on to the resource of the week. And this is so cringy. I’m so so sorry. I almost said sorry. Shout out to my Canadian listeners. I am so sorry. But the resource of the week is nature. I want you to get out into nature. It is free. It is everywhere. It is so calming for the ADHD brain. Go put your feet in the grass, if you’re not allergic to it. Go hug a tree. Go for a hike. Go sit by some running water, go weed a garden that doesn’t belong to you, okay? And when you get carted off to jail, you can say it was my fault. All right, I’m so sorry, but nature, especially if it truly is like summertime for you, still, nature is free medicine. It is free medicine. We’re going to move on to research. And guess what it is going to be about. Nature is so regulating to the nervous system, it makes us feel calmer. I’m linking a bunch of research articles in the show notes, but exposure to natural environments has been linked with decreases in anxiety and rumination, which How many of you would love to stop ruminating? Just take a deep breath with me and imagine a life without rumination.
It is possible that if you get yourself into nature, you will have decreases in your anxiety and rumination All right, which obviously are associated with negative mental health outcomes such as depression and anxiety. A recent systematic review of more than 40 experimental studies indicates that measures of heart rate, blood pressure and perceived stress provide the most convincing evidence that exposure to nature or outdoor environments may reduce the negative effects of stress. Y’all, nature is free. It is right there. Like I and listen, I’ve lived in urban areas for 11 years. I lived in West Reading, Pennsylvania, which is like a very bustly, hustly, bustly, urban ish area, but I still found ways to get out in nature. And yes, I had to drive to it, but it’s still important, even if you have to drive to nature to make it a part of your life. Okay, these studies have shown that time in nature, as long as you feel safe, is an antidote for stress. It can lower blood pressure and stress hormone levels, reduce nervous system arousal, enhance immune system function, increase self esteem. What that’s crazy. Increase self esteem, reduce anxiety and improve your mood. ADHD and aggression, less sin in natural environments, which also help speed the rate of healing. ADHD, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, this, this article that I’m reading from says Attention Deficit Disorder. You all know how I feel about that, so let’s call it the proper name, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder and aggression lessen in natural environments. In a recent study, psychiatric unit, researchers found that being in nature reduced feelings of isolation, promoted calm and lifted mood among patients. It’s so good the growing body of research, combined with an intuitive understanding that nature is vital, and increased concerns about the exploding use of smartphones and other forms of technology has led to tipping point at which health experts, researchers and government officials are now proposing widespread changes aimed at bringing nature into people’s everyday lives. Our. Right? That specific article that I was just quoting was written by Luisa Rivera for Yale environment. And all of this is linked in the show notes. So there’s I’ve linked a couple studies, a meta analysis, and this particular article. The point is that nature is medicine. Nature calms stress. Nature allows your nervous system to regulate. Nature can help you rid yourself, at least in the moment of rumination and ADHD symptoms, your heart rate can go down, your blood pressure can go down, your stress levels can go down. Are you taking advantage of nature? Are you? This is like a sales pitch for nature. One of the things that I’m so grateful to my parents for is that they loved being in nature, especially my dad and he would take us, like on hikes. He would make sure we would go out for walks.
He was, I think he intuitively knew that nature was calming. It was very calming to him, I believe, and that was something they instilled in us at a young age. They took us to national parks. We went to Grand Teton National Park, we went to Yellowstone National Park. That was like such amazing memories as kids, even when we were living in Guam, where it’s like mostly jungle and mostly rain forest, we were still hiking. So there’s a mountain called Mount lamb lamb in Guam. You can Google it. I don’t even know we would go. We would see wild Buffalo, and we would hike in nature. We would hike to a waterfall. It was wonderful. Loved it so much. It’s something that I will always be grateful for them instilling in me, and I hope that I am instilling it in my own children. Although I have one child, he’s an indoor cat. He is an indoor cat. But that’s fine. That is fine. Currently, my other child is out golfing today, which I just think is the cutest thing ever, like little kids golfing. Are you kidding me? I’ve never golfed a day in my life. I’m way too ADHD for that. I have absolutely no desire. Anyway, back to the point. Health experts, researchers and government officials are now proposing widespread changes aimed at bringing nature into people’s everyday lives. And I just want to ask you, how can you bring nature into your everyday life? How can you do it? How can you go out and make sure that you are surrounded by nature at least once a week, once a day, if possible, go weed a garden that doesn’t belong to you, if, if that’s the only thing you can do. Do you know what I’m saying? Because this will calm your stress levels. This will calm your anxiety. This will help your ADHD symptoms to dissipate, even just in those moments, which is fine, what a relief. It will help you to ruminate less often. It will be so calming. That’s my sales pitch. Sales pitch for nature.
All right, my friends, it is time to shout out long time supporter of the show, AG, one. I’ve got a story to tell you. I get refills from time to time from ag one, which I’m so thankful for. But because I just like, I got a box that looks familiar, and I just I let it sit. I let it sit on my mud bench for weeks, which is kind of embarrassing, but whatever, I let it sit there for a long time, and when I finally opened it, I squealed with delight, which is, I mean, it called attention. My husband was like, what’s going on? AG, one has new flavors. When I opened the box, I was given three brand new, beautiful, exciting flavors. They have citrus, Berry and tropical This is a big deal because after drinking years of the original which was fine, fine, fine, fine, we’ve got some options. Now. There’s more options. I’m obsessed with this. I’ve been on an ag one streak for a long time. You already know this about me. It’s one of the few habits that I have added into my life and actually stuck with for years, and this has just made it even better. My favorite is citrus. The favorite new flavor that I’ve tried to citrus. It’s sweet and tangy. It’s like lemon and orange had like a wellness baby. It’s delicious. And if citrus doesn’t float your boat, there’s also Berry and tropical, and of course, the OG original, which is kind of like a pineapple vanilla, but it’s very, very subtle flavor. Okay, so if you’ve tried green powders before and you weren’t into the taste, these flavors might just change your mind. There’s no sugar added, no artificial sweeteners, and there’s. Show packed with 75 vitamins, minerals, prebiotics, probiotics, super foods to support your energy, digestion, immune system and to fill nutrient gaps. And each year, who among us does not need to fill nutrient gaps? My goodness, I have been using this product for years, and it is not magic fairy dust. It’s not a silver bullet. But for me, it’s like nutritional insurance. It helps me feel like I’m starting the day doing one good thing for my body. I notice a difference I truly do in my gut health, in my energy, in my bloating or not bloating, depending on whether or not I’m being consistent with it. It is simple and quick. If it wasn’t I wouldn’t do it. If it wasn’t easy, I wouldn’t do it. I say this every time. It’s the truth. If it wasn’t easy, I wouldn’t do it. I really encourage you if you’ve been thinking about trying ag one now is the time, because when you use my link, you’re going to get a free welcome kit, which is a value of $76 so each new subscription comes with, obviously, just like the 30 day supply of ag one, but then also five free 81 travel packs, a shaker bottle, A metal canister, a metal scoop and a bottle of vitamin d3, k2, now listen, I’ve been using the metal canister and metal scoop literally for years. I think we’re going on three years now, and the original canister and scoop that they gave me, like in in the initial pack, is still going strong. I just I run it through the dishwasher between refills, and it’s amazing. So this stuff is not messing around. Give the new AG, one flavors a try today. Go to drink. AG, one.com/i have ADHD to get started. That’s drink. AG, one.com/i have ADHD. Check it out.
Okay, as we get wrapped up, as we get wrapped up here, let’s just talk about the fact that it’s August and we’re gonna take a deep breath together. I don’t know if you feel the same way that I do, and if you don’t, that’s okay. We can be different. You can feel a different way than me, but I am guessing that a lot of you are like, wait, what? It’s August. Are you kidding? I do not consent to summer ending. And you may be feeling what I called earlier an emotional soup, because you might be feeling some regret about like, oh, I had big plans for the summer. I was going to clean out the garage, I was gonna do this project. Maybe you’re feeling a little sad, like I always feel a little bit of grief at the end of summer, like it’s so sad, or maybe dread of what’s to come, like the if you have school age kids, like the transition into school and all of the busyness, or a mix of all three, maybe you’re just like, so glad that summer’s ending. You’re like, good, get it done. Get it over with. But it, it doesn’t matter to me what you feel. I just am asking you to tune into you. What is it that you’re experiencing? Are you experiencing regret because you thought that you’d declutter your basement or start that new habit, like, this summer I’m really going to run, or whatever it is, and maybe you just didn’t do it. Maybe, like life happened and you didn’t get to it. Or maybe you are feeling that dread, like the chaos of school and forms and lunch boxes and sports and vaccines. I got a letter from the school that my son is missing a vaccine, which I did not know, aka, like, I just, I truly, it wasn’t like I decided not to give it to him. It was just like, I didn’t know that he didn’t have it, and he can’t go to 12th grade unless we, like, get him into the doctor’s office and which is fine, like, we’re obviously going to do it, but the feeling of like, oh my gosh, like, I could be standing in the way of my son completing his senior year because I forgot, or didn’t realize that he didn’t have this one vaccine. Oh my goodness. I don’t think it’s like the actual I think it’s probably like the booster, or like the second one. I don’t even know. I don’t even know. I don’t even know I gotta take care of that. And I am feeling dread. I am feeling like pressure all of a sudden, and I’m feeling resistance to that. Like, excuse me, this is my summer. I do not wanna feel any stress. I don’t wanna even think about school. I don’t wanna think about like, the school nurses letter that I got in the mail saying you failed to do this for your child. If that’s not an ADHD thing, I don’t know what is. I’m so sorry. I’m gonna take care of it. Okay, I am. There’s a certain like nostalgia that some of us feel with summer, just like the season of it and what it means. To us, and it has, like, this kind of like magic. I even think about like fireflies, like lightning bugs, like, there’s just some magic to it. They sparkle. They sparkle, the darkness and like, that’s hard to let go of. Like, things like that are just hard to let go of. And again, maybe you’re feeling some urgency, like, Oh my gosh. There are so many things that I that I meant to do. Those of you who have real gardens, like, I don’t actually have a real garden, but those of you who have real gardens where you’re growing vegetables and you you might feel the pressure to, like, I need to harvest this. I need to can this. I need to what is it? What are the things that you do with gardens? I don’t even know. So I just am inviting you to check in. Like, just check in. Where are you at? It’s it’s not over, my dear, this is just the first week of August. You can chill. It’s not over, but let’s just check in. Where are you at? Take a moment to reflect on like, what did happen this summer, even if not everything went as planned, like, what? What did you do? What memories were made? Just take stock. Take inventory. Moments of joy or rest or connection the other night, like, these are my favorite types of several summer memories, like, it’s
probably like 8pm the sun is going down. We have a view of the sunset from our back porch. The kids, like, one by one are coming out. They’re all on their screens. It’s totally fine. And my 15 year old is like, Mom, look at the sky. It’s so beautiful. Like, what 15 year old boy is like, noticing that and enjoying it and calling attention to it, just like warmed my heart. Like, that’s a memory that I’m gonna be tucking away, a summer memory that I’m like, that was the best my 15 year old was like, Look at the sky, Mom, it’s so beautiful. Like, yes, it’s so awesome. Take note of your tiny wins. Like, if you have little kids at home, like, you kept the kids alive. Did you get them to the dentist? I did schedule dentist appointments. I was hoping that we could get in this summer, but we’re not going to get in. Going to get in. And I don’t even want to say it’s embarrassing, January. Okay, January, we’re not getting it until January. But I did schedule the appointments like, what are, what are your tiny, tiny wins? I will say that this, like garden weeding project that doesn’t belong to me, that I’ve taken over. That’s a tiny win for me. I feel really good about it. I feel like so satisfied that I get to enjoy it, that the neighbors get to enjoy it, that even though it wasn’t our responsibility, it’s still something that I can like, point to that like I did, that it looks so much better. We often like, forget what we’ve done right, because we our working memories aren’t that great, and so you might want to actually take stock, like, what is it that you did in the last couple weeks or last couple months? Like, name your wins, name the things that you’re proud of. For me, this was my first summer that I actually continued going to the yoga studio over the summer. Usually that’s a winter endeavor for me, because it’s hot yoga. And I don’t know, my brain every year has been like, why would I do that in the summer? But this year, I was like, I really want to continue throughout the summer, and I have been, I’m just, I’m happy about that. Have I gone every single time? No. Have I gone every single week? No, but have I gone more often than not? Yeah, I’m really, I’m so happy about that. I’m so happy about that. As you anticipate, as you kind of like, wrap up what you did this summer, which is kind of funny, because the movie I Know What You Did Last Summer is coming out, like the sequel. That just made me think about it. Shout out to the 90s. Shout out to Sarah, Michelle Gellar. Shout out to Jennifer. Love Hewitt. Love you both. You’re wonderful. I don’t know if there’s beef between you. I’ve heard it rumored that there is. I still love you both anyway. Remember what you did, like actually do. Remember what did I do this summer? What can I be proud of? What am I going to tuck away into my heart as like a beautiful summer memory? And what are you anticipating? So summer’s not over. You still have several weeks left. What do you want to do with the rest of it? What’s realistic for you? What could you maybe do with your next couple of weeks? That might feel magical. One of the things that I want to make sure to do, our weather has not been great, so we’ve had a lot of rain in the Northeast. But. But one of the things that I want to do is I want to have a couple fires. I want to make sure that we grab the fire pit and we have a couple fires before the summer is over, because Greg and I talked about that the beginning of the summer. We want to use our backyard more. We want to make sure to have fires with the kids. It’s like one of the only times that the kids, like put down their screens and they all just sit around the fire like it draws people, at least people in my family, and I love that, and we haven’t really done that, partially because of the weather, partially because it’s just easier to sit on the couch and watch Survivor in The Amazing Race, which is, those are our summer shows, okay? But what do you want to do with the next month we’re going to call the end of summer Labor Day, because traditionally, that’s when the true end of summer is. So you’ve got a full month left. What else do you want to get done? What else? What other summer memories do you want to create? Like, think about what magic you want to create in the next month before this season, before we can truly call it like done. And what are you anticipating? What are you anticipating coming? So for for me, I’m anticipating a really busy season these the like August through November. My all three of my boys are involved in their main activity, the main season of their main activity. Only school age parents are gonna get this. But like you understand the main season of their main activity. So we’ve got marching band, we’ve got water polo, we’ve got soccer, and the fall is the the season, the main season the main season for all three of those. And so I am anticipating being very busy being like the Uber of all Ubers. And I can’t wait to watch my kids do what they love. It’s my favorite thing. Is my favorite thing to do. It’s the best thing about being a parent is watching our kids do what they love. So I’m excited about that. I really am excited about that. I’ve always resisted the end of summer. I associated with, like, the end of my freedom. I think I have some like, I’m like, hungover from probably, like, my school age years. And I don’t know if you relate to that, but when my kids were younger, we were always that family that waited until the last possible second to get school supplies. This is like the most ADHD thing ever, where I would just be in denial that the summer was ending, not willing to look at what’s coming, not willing to think about the future. And truly, it wasn’t just because I forgot. It was like me rebelling like, How dare you target put school supplies right after the fourth of July. Are you kidding me? That is rude. That is so rude, and so I would just be in denial, denial, denial. I didn’t want summer to end, and I refused to participate in the back to school frenzy, which meant that my life was a frenzy when it was actually time for back to school, because all the stores were totally sold out. Now there’s this little magical thing called Amazon, but at the time, there wasn’t imagine a world without Amazon. So by the time that I would go to the store, like the week before school started, everything was picked over. There wasn’t, like, you couldn’t find a yellow folder or a glue stick anywhere, so I’d like try to find substitute. It was just like it was a hot mess. The point is. The point is that me working through my feelings of the end of summer has allowed me to prepare a little bit more in advance and do the right thing by my kids and, like, get them school supplies in time, which is great. But if you are in that rebellion, if you are in that like, I don’t want to think about it. La, la, la, la, la, la, like, don’t talk to me about it. I get it. I get it. Like, that is such a human thing, in my opinion. But I just wonder if we can, like, enjoy thinking about the summer that we have, I’m not gonna say had it’s not over, enjoy thinking about the summer that we have, and begin to think about the transition. Begin to think about what that transition means. Begin to think about, like, what’s coming and preparing for the next thing. We at each deers struggle. We really struggle to reflect and like, prepare for the future. Make a have a clear picture of what’s coming, and that’s because we have some deficient executive functioning skills, but this is your time that I’m inviting you like, prepare. What do you want the end of like, the rest of August to look like? What do you want the transition into the fall season, the autumn season to look like? If you have school aged kids, how do you want to prepare for the shifting in season? Ends all right, but don’t forget, you still have time. You still have time again. Summer does not officially end until Labor Day. When I grew up in New Jersey, I don’t know about grew up, but when I lived in New Jersey, from seventh grade to 12th grade, school didn’t even start until the Monday after Labor Day. Like it was so magical. We didn’t start school until September, which is truly the way I think that God intended it to be. I wish that’s what we did now. So I understand that. As someone with ADHD, you kind of live in this time warp, and we might operate in some like panic or avoidance, but I just want you to know like you still have time, but let’s let’s get anchored in. It’s the first week of August. How can you celebrate the summer that you had? How can you prepare yourself for the next four weeks? And what magic Do you want to create? What memories do you want to create? What project do you want to get done, and how can you prepare for the next season that’s coming so that you can welcome it without the chaos? All right, that’s it for this week. I had the best time with you today. I hope it was relieving, I hope it was helpful, I hope it was validating. I can’t wait to talk to you again next week. I’ll see you then bye, bye,
if you’re being treated for your ADHD, but you still don’t feel like you’re reaching your potential, you’ve got to join focus. It’s my monthly coaching membership where I teach you how to tame your wild thoughts and create the life that you’ve always wanted, no matter what season of life you’re in or where you are in the world focused is for you. All materials and call recordings are stored in the site for you to access at your convenience. Go to Ihaveadhd.com/focused, for all the info
