Kristen Carder 0:05
Kristin, welcome to the I have ADHD podcast, where it’s all about education, encouragement and coaching for adults. With ADHD, I’m your host, Kristen Carter and I have ADHD, let’s chat about the frustrations, humor and challenges of adulting, relationships, working and achieving with this neurodevelopmental disorder, I’ll help you understand your unique brain, unlock your potential and move from point A to point B.

Hey, what’s up? This is Kristin Carter, and you’re listening to the I have ADHD podcast. I am medicated, caffeinated, regulated, ready to roll. Happy to be here. Happy to be here with you. I feel like I have not been in the studio in quite some time. I haven’t been in here since December. You’re probably even listening to this in February, so it means nothing to you, but to me, it feels good to be back. I am happy to be chatting with you today. We’re gonna cover a lot of topics. This is solo show, which means, buckle up, get ready. We’re going all over the place. We’re gonna talk about dyslexia. We’re gonna talk about helping friends who you suspect might have ADHD, and we’re gonna get started with me talking about what I just did last week, which is kind of a wild thing, over the summer, Space X, reached out to Kristen Carter. Space X, you know, the company that builds rocket ships, reached out to me, Kristen Carter, and asked me to come and speak to their accessibility network, which is their like disability inclusion group. And I was like, Excuse me, what? Like, obviously, yes, I would love to one of their employees had actually been in my focused ADHD coaching program over a year ago and listened to the podcast, was a fan of a podcast and recommended that I come and speak at SpaceX. I’m still like, I can’t even get the words out without freaking out, because I am a person who looks at innovative companies like this as something that is just something to be celebrated.

And I’m very, very excited about that, especially having somebody who is neuro divergent leading such an innovative company, I think is really amazing. And so to be invited to speak to a bunch of people who are so smart, aerospace engineers, coders, I don’t know, I don’t even know the right words, because it’s so far outside of the realm of what I do in my day to day life. But so many smart, intelligent, really, actually, very young people working there, it was just such an honor to be asked. And so my son, my middle guy, has been interested in aerospace engineering for the last couple years, and so when I responded and was like, Absolutely, I would love to come. And also, could I bring my son? And they were like, Yeah, bring him. No problem. So last week, the second week of January, my middle guy and I traveled to Southern California. It was so beautiful. We stayed in Manhattan Beach. It was gorgeous. And I spoke at SpaceX and was able to talk about ADHD in such an incredible environment. It was so wonderful. I got an awesome tour of the just like one section of the facility, it was, let me say that the employees are like hype. They were so excited to be there. They were so excited to give me a tour. They were so proud of the innovative work that they do, which they absolutely should be. They work on rockets.

They work on satellites. They’re working to make space flight like something that, just like any human can do, like, just sign up, pay some money and go into outer space, like what, it’s just wild, the things that they’re working on. And so to be able to be in that environment, and just like be able to participate, just for a couple hours, in what they were doing, they actually had a launch that day. So we were in Hawthorne, California, which is where Mission Control was. And when I think of Mission Control, I am so sorry to be so old, but all I can think about is Apollo 13, the movie that I watched in the 90s like 700 times, and like, mission control is, like, a big deal for Apollo 13, all of you elder Millennials are gonna be like, Yeah, we get it. And all of you young folks are gonna be like, Kristen, You’re so embarrassing. And I am. I admit that I am so embarrassing, but that’s what I was thinking about the whole time. Like, Houston, we have a problem. Do you know what I’m saying? Yeah. So anyway, mission control was at Hawthorne, the Hawthorne campus, and then they were launching from a place in Texas. And so what I was able to do was like, see Mission Control, and everybody was gathering to make sure the launch went off successfully. And it was just an incredible environment to be, to be in, I was able to see like rockets that were being worked on to be shipped out. They they create about one a week, but they’re trying to launch one every two days, so they’re trying to figure out how to make production faster. I just know all the information because I was there. It was so cool. But what I realized was that speaking in such a neat environment, and being able to talk about ADHD, and to be able to discuss ADHD in in a place where, like, let’s be honest, a lot of people that work at SpaceX are likely neurodivergent. It was so much fun I didn’t do it perfectly. There are some things that I wish I would have done differently. I do work really hard on not judging myself too harshly, and not, you know, just being really perfectionistic.

And obviously, we’ve talked about perfectionism a ton here on the podcast, and if you feel like you struggle with perfectionism, I do have a free course. We’ll put the link right here for you wherever. We’ll put the link there for you. But I do have a free course on perfectionism, because people with ADHD struggle so intensely with perfectionism, and that is actually research based so reach. Research has found that perfectionism is the most common thought distortion of adults with ADHD. And let me tell you that I was suffering from my own perfectionism about my talk at SpaceX, thinking of all of the things that I could have done differently and should have done differently, and etc, etc, as we do, but I was able to just ground myself in like, No, you, you really did a good job. I followed my notes. I was engaging, I was funny, I did everything that I wanted to do. And like, yeah, it wasn’t perfect, because I’m a human, because this was my first time in this type of environment, because I was doing something new for the first time. So of course, it wasn’t perfect, but I’m really, really satisfied with it. I’m so honored that I was asked. I can’t believe that me the person that was like watching daytime TV for hours a day, completely under functioning, completely unemployable, completely unable to really like, to function and to live my life the way I wanted to now, to get to a point where I’m being invited to speak at SpaceX to their accessibility network and be able to encourage neurodivergent folks and give them tips and a guide for how to survive in a workplace when you are a neurodivergent person and how to work with someone else who has ADHD, maybe a co worker who who has ADHD, it was such an honor.

And I want to encourage all of you that where you are right now is not where you will always be. There is potential for change. There is potential for growth. You do not have to stay the same if you feel like me 15 years ago, where, where you’re just like, under functioning under life thing, not reaching your potential. Feeling like, is this just the like, this is just my life. Like this is just what it’s going to be forever. Just know that your brain can change. You can make improvements with at least if you’re like me, with an accurate diagnosis, with treatment, with therapy, with understanding your brain, with being able to do just even a tiny bit like dabbling in the work of self development and creating room for healthy relationships in your life, you can change and like, I know this is so cliche, but I just want to encourage you that like, the sky is the limit.

And when I say the sky, I mean like, like outer space, right? If we’re talking about space x like to be able to be the person who’s invited to speak about ADHD at SpaceX. What the hell that’s wild to me. But what it shows me is that being unemployable and living below the poverty line and having ADHD and knowing that you’re. Reaching your potential and wasting your time numbing out. At the time it was watching daytime TV because, like, social media wasn’t a thing, but literally, I would watch Live with Regis and Kelly, and then the Tony Danza show, and then the view, and then the news, and then I would be like, it’s 1230 I guess I should, like, do something with my life. And it was just like so under functioning. To go from that to be able to influence in such an innovative environment is a contrast that I would have never expected. And I just want to encourage you that things can change. Things can change for you and and I want to, like, throw some courage on you and empower you to make some changes whatever that is today. Do you need to pursue a diagnosis?

Do you need to pursue medical treatment? Do you need to actually take the medication that you have but you’re forgetting to take? Do you need to do some personal development work, even if that is just watching free videos on YouTube and journaling in a journal like it doesn’t have to be expensive, but I encourage you. I encourage you to go for it. I encourage you to make some forward movement, because your brain is willing to change from the cradle to the grave. That’s what neuroplasticity that’s what the science behind neuroplasticity tells us. Is that the brain is willing and able to change, and if we just give it, we just give it some nudge, if we just allow the brain to be a little bit uncomfortable, if we pursue this self development work in in any capacity, whether that’s with me and my program, somebody else’s program, or completely free, like you’re just watching free videos on YouTube and you’re journaling and you’re and you’re trying to do things absolutely on the cheap, which I highly recommend. Your brain will change. It will, I promise you, test it.

Test this theory, try it out. Come back to me if I’m wrong, but I’m not wrong. Okay, okay. Anyway, if you are listening to this and thinking like, oh, it’d be so cool if Kristen could come to my work and talk about ADHD in the environment that I’m in, or at my university or something like that. That’s something that I’m actually very interested in doing. Now I am writing a book, and I need to make sure that I stay focused. But if you work at a company like SpaceX, reach out to your girl. I would love to come talk to your company, or a segment of your company about ADHD. I would love to come to your university and talk to professors or students or both, about ADHD. My, I’ve said it over and over my my mission is to help as many people with ADHD as possible. Obviously, I have this podcast, obviously I have the focus ADHD coaching program. But if I can get the word out about ADHD in any capacity. I want to do it so contact my team focused at I have adhd.com they will, they will get in touch with me. And if you’re like, Yeah, that sounds awesome. Come speak to my to my company or to my university about ADHD. I would love it, I would love it. Okay, that’s that. Let’s move on to some voicemails.

I absolutely love hearing from you guys. I say this all the time. We got a bunch of new voicemails in the last couple weeks, which I was really excited about. The number is 833-281-2343, it’s also linked in the show notes, so don’t worry about remembering it. But let’s hear first from Elena.

Elena 13:52
Hi Kristen, this is Elena just finding out that this is a new segment, and I’m immediately adding this number to my contacts.

I be putting you on speed dial. Anyways, one of my very, very dear friends is thinking maybe he possibly has ADHD. He sits at his computer and stares at it for hours before he’s able to even start work for anything, which is literally so relatable to me. And I was like, Rob, you have ADHD, but he doesn’t have insurance. He definitely does have money to, like, pay for medication out of pocket. So he’s kind of saying, like, well, even if I do have ADHD, does it really matter? Like, like, I don’t know what I can even do about it. And you know, as maybe fear is hard to communicate, like, the value this podcast has been to me, and you know, I have 40 something on him that isn’t right for him. So I was just wondering, like, it’s like, I don’t know ways I can support him. And if he’s not looking to pursue medication or maybe probably not therapy either, and how I can convince him to start listening to the podcast and tell him that it’s worth learning about ADHD. And if you’re still not able to meditate, I don’t know I can be done rambling. Thanks.

Kristen Carder 15:21
You’re so cute. Elena, you’re not rambling. I love that you called. Thank you so much. I think that one of the hardest parts about being a grown up is that you can’t convince other grown ups to do what you think is the best thing. Honestly, for me, that is one of the hardest parts about being a human, is that I cannot convince or make other humans do what I think is best for them. And I don’t like that part. I don’t like that part of being human. It’s so so annoying. So honestly, like, what you’re doing by just talking to him and by by just sharing your own story is so impactful, but we can’t force other grown ups to do anything. Why? Like, I often think if I could just, like, control people and run the world and like, be like a puppeteer, everything would be so much better. But I guess it’s just not the way it’s intended to be. So I just, I encourage you to share your story with him. I encourage you to just be honest about what’s been helpful for you. I encourage you to just share vulnerably, like, here’s what has changed for me, here’s what’s impacting me, here’s what I think like, here’s what I see in you. And like, I appreciate when a friend says to me, like, Hey, I see this in you and that to me, like, that’s a real friend, and so I, I encourage you to do that, but you can’t force anybody to do anything.

But here’s the thing, even if he doesn’t have insurance, he might not know that he could use good RX coupons for medication. So like, yes, a diagnosis might be costly to him, but good RX is an amazing if you don’t, if you guys don’t know what it is, we’ll link it. It is so awesome. It’s essentially, there’s all types of medication on there, but there’s a ton of ADHD medication. I use it for my medication. The medication that I use is about 40 bucks a month on good RX. So because my deductible is so high with my insurance, it just it makes more sense for me to use a good RX coupon than to use insurance for my medication. So I just really want you to know, and maybe you can share this with him, that even if he doesn’t have insurance, there are cost effective ways to get medication. Additionally, even just knowing about your brain is so transformative. Now he might not agree, but Elena, I can hear in your voice that you’re like, This has been life changing for me, and so I agree with you. I agree that just knowing about ADHD, that just knowing how your brain works, that just knowing that your dopamine reward system is broken, and that you’re always going to be chasing dopamine, and that you’re always going to be looking for something to fill the dopamine void, that’s really important information, whether or not you choose to medicate. That alone is such important information, and so I am completely on the side of whether or not you choose to medically treat ADHD, it is still worth understanding your own brain information is powerful, and you get to choose what you do with that information.

But I, I, I would recommend that he get a diagnosis. But again, like he’s an autonomous human being, he’s maybe resistant to being told what to do, which is awesome, like a characteristic of ADHD, and he gets to decide. So I Elena would encourage you to share vulnerably with him and to let go of feeling any sort of responsibility for him. He gets to do what he wants to do. It is his life. You are just there as a friend. He gets to make his own choices, and that’s that, unfortunately, we don’t get to control the other humans. I don’t understand why that’s the way life is, but that’s the way life is alright. Thanks, Elena. Let’s move on. Let’s hear from Michelle.

Michelle 19:55
Hi. My name is Michelle Biggs. I’m calling from Greenwood, Delaware, and I. Absolutely love your podcast. It has been so helpful. I was diagnosed with ADHD about 10 years ago, and have had numerous counselors. But when I bring up ADHD, they just are like, no, no. They downplay it and such. And so your podcast has been absolutely amazing. Right now, I have a question for you. I have a twin who I’ve been friends with for like, probably eight years, and she seems to have all the same symptoms as I and I really think she has ADHD, but, you know, sort of deny all of it and help her with like these projects you feel totally overwhelmed with that’s the thing is, I feel so overwhelmed as well, and no one else is coming in, you know, saving her, so to speak, yeah, helping her, and cast on and, like, real, that’s what I’ve learned to do. We’ll make an offer today, but I just, like, try to come hard through. And that’s sort of like the really, I can’t come help you. Thank you, because I can’t. It’s freaking overwhelming for me, and I can’t even hardly get my own test done. Yeah Or no, can you help? 

Kristen Carder 21:24
Oh, Michelle, yes, I can help. I like hereby release you of the shame and guilt that you’re feeling. I sign a permission slip for you not to go over and help her. Here’s the thing, my friends, we’re not going to help people who are unwilling to help themselves. We are not going to sacrifice and give and and and drain our capacity when people are not willing to do things for themselves. We it’s a no. It’s a no. So you’ve shared with her, Hey, girl, I think that you have many of the same symptoms as I do. I think that you should pursue a diagnosis. And she said, Nah, I don’t want to. She said, I want to, and that is her choice that is completely within her, right, obviously, as a human, we just talked about this with Elena, right? She doesn’t have to pursue a diagnosis. But on the flip side of that, you don’t have to give what you don’t even have to give to help someone who is not willing to help herself, and it’s very painful again. It’s like watching other people suffer is so hard. And we have this desire, and I do believe that ADHD ers are filled with so much empathy. We have this desire to save people, to rescue people, because we know what it’s like. We know what it’s like to struggle. But Michelle, I want to, I want to hold up the contrast of like, yes, you know what it’s like to struggle.

You know what it’s like to have a difficult time, but you’re also, you also know about your brain, and you’re also like helping yourself with your ADHD. You are taking responsibility. That’s what I’ve been that’s what I was trying to find in my brain. You’re taking responsibility for your ADHD. You are learning how to work with your brain and not against it. You are you are understanding your capacity. You are realizing what you’re able to do and not able to do, and your friend is not on the same journey. Your friend wants you to rescue her, but I I hereby release you of the guilt and shame that you feel because you are not willing to rescue someone who is not taking responsibility for themselves? Okay? Pause. Please don’t hear me say that we should be a holes to everyone that is not at all what I’m saying. Please don’t hear me say that we shouldn’t have compassion for people. Please don’t hear me say that like, oh, well, if you’re not willing to do x, y, z, then I’m never gonna. That’s not what I’m saying.

Okay, do you do? You really hear me. That’s not what I’m saying. What I am saying, though, to you, specifically Michelle, is that you know what your capacity is. You understand that her projects are overwhelming to you, you also see that she is unwilling to take responsibility for the way that she’s functioning in the world, whether it’s ADHD or some other issue that she is facing. She’s not willing to pursue help wholeness and restoration for those things. Because, because of that, I would be very wary to give of my mental, emotional, spiritual capacity to her, because what that is actually doing is enabling her to continue to not take responsibility for her own functioning. It’s actually enabling her to continue to not take responsibility for herself and the way that she functions. So Michelle, I just want to release you. I want to release you from that shame and guilt, and when it inevitably comes, I want you to speak to that guilt, high guilt. I see you, I feel you. I feel you so intensely. I know you’re here because I’m not rescuing my friend. And somewhere along the way, I was taught that it was my responsibility to rescue other adults from their own lives, and I no longer accept that responsibility. It is not my responsibility to rescue adults from a life that they have created. It’s not it’s not my responsibility.

My responsibility is my life, my job, my kids, my animals, my home, my domain. Those are my responsibility. Anything else that I give is out of the overflow of my capacity. Anything else that oh, I’m yelling, I’m sorry, anything else that I give is out of the overflow of my capacity, and so if and when I have overflow of capacity. From overflowing from I’ve already given my mental, emotional, spiritual, physical capacity, to my own home, to my own responsibilities, to my own family, my own job, everything that I am in charge of, I’ve already given I’ve already taken care of those responsibilities, and if there is overflow, of course I want to help my friend. Of course I want to help my friend, but I am not going to give a portion of what actually belongs to my responsibilities. And so I see you guilt. I know you’re here because somewhere along the way, I was taught that it’s my job to rescue other adults, but it’s not. And Kristen Carter says I don’t have to. Like, sometimes I know my clients use it, and so like Michelle, I want you to use it as well. Like Kristen Carter says, I don’t have to. I I’ve written a permission slip for you, you do not have to rescue this person or any other adult human in your life. This just is, this just is so indicative of relational the overlap between relational trauma and ADHD, where as kids, so many of us and Michelle, I don’t know you, so I don’t know if this is your story, but I’m going to talk about myself and so many of the clients that I work with. So many of us were conditioned as kids that it was our job to take care of our parents. That’s what we were conditioned to believe, and because of that, because we were conditioned and groomed and really forced to take care of the emotional, most of the time, emotional and sometimes even physical needs of our parents, we have this tendency to now carry that over into our own adulthood, thinking that is our responsibility to take care of other grown ups, and it is not. And so you, Michelle and every listener here, I want you to ask yourself, am I trying to rescue a grown up? Is a really important question. Am I trying to rescue a grown up. Here’s another important question, do I feel responsible for someone else’s life, for someone else’s choices, for someone else’s path?

Do I feel responsible for an adult’s life? Because, like, obviously, it’s different when you have kids, you actually are responsible for them, but when we are talking about other adults who have autonomy and control and responsibility over their own life, we have nothing to do with that. We have nothing to do with that. We can support, we can encourage, but we should not ever rescue who I spent so much time on this, because I see this so often in the ADHD community that we feel so responsible to take care of other grown ups.

Right, and we’re just not, and what we are so prone to do is to use our mental, physical, emotional, spiritual capacity to help others, and then we have nothing left to help ourselves, and then we wonder why we’re struggling. And so I want you, dear listener, I want you to think about what am I in charge of, and am I using my mental, spiritual, emotional, physical energy and capacity and strength like everything that I have? Am I using it for my responsibilities, or am I very much focused on other people, other people’s drama, other people’s lives, other people’s responsibilities and making sure they’re okay? I will pause and say that sometimes it’s actually more comfortable to think about other people because it’s hard to it’s hard to take care of our own lives. And so sometimes it’s like actually more fun and more stimulating, more dopamine producing, to get into other people’s drama. And I just want to say, focus on your own stuff. Be committed to your own responsibilities. Understand what’s yours. Understand what I’m trying not to use this phrase, but I’m going to use it, what pigs are in your pen. Understand what pigs are in your pen. I want you to think about a pen. I want to think about your pigs.

What pigs are in your pen? This is a phrase that my sister’s friend used years ago. She would say, those pigs are not in my pen. It’s such a silly phrase, but it has stuck with me because it is such a perfect example. It’s such a perfect visual illustration of boundaries, because Michelle, your friends pigs are running around like crazy outside of outside of your pen and and she is saying, like, hey, help me with my pigs. This is the dumbest thing I’ve ever I can’t believe I am saying it like this. I hope that you guys don’t hate me. Guys are all like, immediately, unsubscribe. So sorry. Okay, Michelle, what pigs are in your pen? Worry about your own okay. We just have to think about like our own lives, our own responsibilities, and are we getting sucked in to other people’s domain? It’s a distraction from what we are put here on the earth to do. Okay, I promise I will move on, guys.

Did I lose you? I hope I didn’t. We’re about to talk about the research of the week, and I think it’s going to be interesting. Okay, so stick with me. I’m on a health kick right now, and my kids are so annoyed at me. I’ve changed the type of rice and pasta and bread that we eat at home. I’ve even eliminated all breakfast cereals from the house. No more Captain Crunch or cinnamon toast crunch to be found in the Carter home. It’s a true ADHD hyper focus for me right now. But one thing that I’ve stuck with, and I don’t think I’ll ever stop taking, is ag one i Kristin Carter, an adult with ADHD, have been able to be consistent with taking ag one every single day for a long time. It’s the first thing I do when I wake up the morning, before coffee, before anything. It literally takes me about 60 to 90 seconds to just scoop it into some cold water, shake it up and drink it. It really is so easy. And I’m traveling with my family to Indiana for the holidays. Will be staying in a hotel, eating out for a lot of our meals, and generally partaking in lots of non healthy activities, which is fine, because balance. You know what I’m saying, and I know that I can stay consistent with aging one thanks to their travel packs. I’m just going to pop six travel packs into my shaker, slip that baby into my travel bag, and done. It’s so simple I don’t even have to think about it. So I encourage you this new year if you want to do one thing to improve your health as an adult with ADHD, try aging one for yourself. It’s the perfect time to start a new healthy habit, and that’s why I’ve been partnering with aging one for so long. And listen to this. AG, one is offering new subscribers a free $76 gift. When you sign up, you’ll get a welcome kit, a bottle of d3, k2, and five, free travel packs, just like I’m going to be using over the holidays. You’ll get all of that in your first box. So make sure to check out drink. AG, one.com/i have ADHD to get this offer that’s drinkag1.com/ihaveADHD to start your new year on a healthier note. Research of the week, we’re going to talk about the overlap and the link between dyslexia and ADHD.

Now, I did interview a dyslexia expert pretty recently. It was Episode Two. 74 so you can go and listen to that. It was really, really an a fascinating episode. And actually, a lot of you reached out to me on Instagram and said that you were like, so encouraged, and that the episode was extremely helpful to you. So again, it’s episode number 274 if you are finding me on YouTube and you’re watching this on YouTube, 274, is audio only, so if you want to listen to it, go find it on Spotify or Apple podcasts, or wherever you listen to your podcasts. So let’s talk about dyslexia briefly, and then we’ll review the research that has recently come out. So dyslexia is a learning difficulty with neurodevelopmental origins, and that’s really important, neurodevelopmental origins. ADHD also has neurodevelopmental origins, interesting, right? Dyslexia manifests as reduced accuracy and speed in reading and spelling. It is substantially heritable meaning, like it runs in families, and it frequently co occurs with other neurodevelopmental conditions, particularly ADHD dyslexia is classed as a specific learning disorder in the DSM five and is defined as persistent difficulty with accurate and or fluent word reading and poor spelling ability. Okay, so if you struggle with reading, if you struggle with spelling, and I know dysgraphia is a different thing, but if you struggle with writing, it’s under the dyslexia umbrella. Here’s a weird fact about dyslexia.

There are no universal diagnostic criteria. Let me say again, this is crazy. There are no universal diagnostic criteria for dyslexia, but it’s typically identified when reading and writing abilities fall below expectations considering the person’s age exposure to effective education and other cognitive abilities. Essentially, if your intelligence is relatively high, but your ability to read and write is relatively low compared to your intelligence. If there’s a large gap between the two, you will often be classified as dyslexic. Okay, so it’s like, if the reading and writing can’t be related to some other like, oh, you struggle with reading and writing because of this specific deficit. So if it’s like your your cognitive abilities are relatively high, but your reading and writing abilities are relatively low, and there’s a large gap between the two, then you are often classified as dyslexic. Okay, it’s typically identified in childhood, but you don’t grow out of it. It is just like ADHD in that case, where you know it may be identified in childhood, but you if you’re dyslexic, you’re dyslexic, it’s not something you grow out of. It’s been viewed as a neurodevelopmental disorder linked to structural, connective and functional abnormalities in brain regions.

Okay, I should be telling you right now that I’m actually reading directly from a study, and it’s called genetic neurodevelopmental clustering and dyslexia. We will obviously link into the show notes, but when it sounds like I’m reading, that’s because I’m reading from the study. There’s also a really interesting article that kind of synthesizes the study from attitude magazine, which we will also link if you’re interested in the research between dyslexia, the overlap between dyslexia and ADHD. So we were just talking about the diagnostic criteria and what, what I find interesting for our for our conversation here is that dyslexia and ADHD are very closely linked. And what they found is that there are 49 genetic regions that ADHD and dyslexia share, which is wild, 40 of which are newly discovered, 174 genes including 121 unidentified ones.

So there’s a ton of genetic overlap between dyslexia and ADHD, which we did not previously know. We did know that like, oh, it’s really interesting that a lot of people with ADHD are also dyslexic, but now what we can clearly see is a genetic overlap between the two, and that is wild. What’s also interesting, so, ADHD is a neurodevelopmental disorder. Autism is a neurodevelopmental disorder. However, I’m reading from the study here. This is this is right from it. In this model, ADHD aligns more closely with dyslexia than autism, suggesting that ADHD may be better termed as a learning difficulty than a psychiatric disorder, and highlighting the importance of it being managed within the education and later employment. And the genetic correlation between dyslexia and autism is almost non existent, so major genetic overlap. Between dyslexia and ADHD and almost no genetic overlap between autism and dyslexia. It’s wild. It’s just very, very, very interesting things that I think are really important to note. Dyslexia is highly heritable, just like ADHD. It runs in families, if someone you know, your mom, your dad, your aunt, your uncle, if those people struggled with reading, writing, spelling, it’s very likely that you will as well. It’s very likely that the diagnoses co occur. And for myself, like I notice a lot of dyslexic tendencies. Even though I am a proficient writer, I struggle a lot with with reading clearly, with remembering what I’ve read, with reading out loud. I struggled so much more in my youth than I do now, but I will always prefer to listen to an audio book, which, by the way, is reading.

Listening to an audio book is reading. I would so much rather listen to an audio book than actual read the written word. I have a kiddo who’s diagnosed with dyslexia. It’s probably more dysgraphia. He enjoys reading. He loves to read, but the writing and the spelling and getting his thoughts from his mind to the paper is so excruciatingly difficult for him, and so I see this play out on a daily basis in my family. He’s such an intelligent kid, and this is so important that dyslexia, just like ADHD, is not related to intelligence, you can be a brilliant human and still be dyslexic. And actually, to even be diagnosed, there does have to be a gap between your cognitive ability and your intelligence and your ability to read and write. So it’s almost like dyslexic people are many are wildly intelligent, but then just struggle with the reading and or writing fascinating. If you or someone that you know and love is struggling with dyslexia, or you suspect they might be dyslexic. I again want to refer you to the podcast that I did on dyslexia number 274, and just all of the amazing information that the dyslexia expert gave was so helpful and so go listen to that next you

okay, the resource of the week falls right in line with our discussion on dyslexia and ADHD. So we’re going to get into that now. I want to tell you about audio diary. Now this is something that one of my clients posted in the focus ADHD coaching program in our community. And she was just like, hey, I just came across this. Have any of you used it? An audio diary? I looked it up. It’s so cool. And if you are dyslexic, it will be so helpful to you. It is a super smart voice journal that captures, organizes and analyzes your thoughts. It analyzes your life’s moments. Dyslexia can make it so hard to write something down, to get your thoughts out onto paper, to journal, and one of the ways that we move forward in our developmental process, in our self development, is journaling, is getting our thoughts onto paper, is observing our own thinking. Is working on the skill of metacognition, which is a executive function that is essentially thinking about your thinking. And one of the primary ways that we do this is journaling. However, if you’re dyslexic, journaling might feel like death. It might feel like a hell to the no. It might feel like absolutely not. I will never just sit down and write things out. And so audio diary could be a really helpful resource for you. Dyslexia can make it hard to write, and that makes it harder to journal and to get your thoughts out on paper. ADHD can make it hard to think and process without talking out loud. How many of you ADHD years? Maybe you’re not even struggling with dyslexia, but how many of you can’t really think unless you’re talking? Hello, I’ll wait so many of you it’s like, I’m not actually thinking unless I’m talking it out. So I I process things verbally. And so that app seems like a really great fit for both disorders. Okay, it’s a space for you to get your thoughts out easily. You can talk about anything or use their they have, like questions and problems. Prompts to guide you and to like get you started talking. It also talks back to you, so audio diary listens to what you say and provides insightful feedback on your entries. And what’s cool about this is it automatically organizes and groups your entries so that everything is always like, situated and neat and tidy. They suggest realistic it’s like aI on steroids, I’m guessing, like, realistic and relevant goals to help you achieve what’s important, you can add photos. Everything’s organized. It just sounds like a really cool resource. It’s free. I’ve downloaded it. I haven’t used full disclosure, but I have it. It’s downloaded on my phone, so like, that’s at least something. I’m not an affiliate. I’m not getting any money for this, but it seems like a really awesome resource that could be super helpful for anyone who’s ADHD, dyslexic or both. So I hope you’ll check that out. I hope you’ll check it out that it sounds again. I can’t stress this enough. I said it at the very beginning. I said it in the middle. I’m going to say it here at the end. I can’t stress enough. How much journaling, getting your thoughts onto paper, or in this case, like into an app, where you can see it, observing your thinking. I can’t stress enough how important that is. If you want to move forward in your self development, it’s imperative. What we struggle with as ADHD ers is self reflection and metacognition, and those are two things that allow us to be in charge of our own thinking, in charge of our own decision making, in charge of our own destiny.

And so those are two extremely important skills that we need to work on improving. And as I said earlier, it can be improved. Your brain wants to change. It is willing and able to expand and grow and make progress, but, but not if you are not making any changes. It doesn’t just happen automatically. It’s not going to happen to you like lightning striking. You have to make some choices. You have to you have to start somewhere, and I promise you that journaling and observing your thoughts is going to be a great starting point. Noticing what you’re thinking, noticing yourself talk, noticing what’s not helpful and what you might want to tweak with the with your outlook, with your worldview, with what what you’re thinking about, what you’re focusing on, all of that can move you forward, and that’s all I care about. Is like my mission in life, help people with ADHD and help them get from point A to point B. Like, educate the world on ADHD and help people with ADHD get from point A to point B. I don’t know where your point A is. It is not my job to tell you where your point B is. That is only for you to understand and decide, but I want to nudge you in that direction, whatever that direction is. I am here for you. I adore you, and I can’t wait to talk to you next week. I’ll see you there.

If you’re being treated for your ADHD, but you still don’t feel like you’re reaching your potential, you’ve got to join focused. It’s my monthly coaching membership where I teach you how to tame your wild thoughts and create the life that you’ve always wanted, no matter what season of life you’re in or where you are in the world. Focused is for you. All. Materials and call recordings are stored in the site for you to access at your convenience. Go to Ihaveadhd.com/focused, for all the info you.