Kristen Carder

Kristin, welcome to the I have ADHD podcast, where it’s all about education, encouragement and coaching for adults. With ADHD, I’m your host, Kristin Carter and I have ADHD. Let’s chat about the frustrations, humor and challenges of adulting, relationships, working and achieving with this neurodevelopmental disorder, I’ll help you understand your unique brain, unlock your potential and move from point A to point B.

Hey, what’s up? This is Kristen Carter, and you’re listening to the I have ADHD podcast. I am medicated, caffeinated, regulated, ready to roll. How are you how are you Welcome? Come in, come in. Get cozy. Grab a snack. Grab some water, ADHD, or don’t forget to hydrate. Don’t forget food is a thing. I’m just really glad you’re here make sure you’re taking care of yourself while you’re listening to this. This episode is a perfect body double for you to be able to get the stuff done as you’re going about your day. And remember that ADHD is a thing. ADHD impacts you. ADHD can make it hard to remember to eat and drink and, you know, do all of the self care things.

So if that’s what you’re using this episode for, as a body double to get the self care stuff done. Amazing. I’m so glad that we are here together today. Today is going to be just a really fun episode about all of the things that I wish that the world knew about ADHD. As I was thinking through what would be beneficial to talk about today, I just really want to have this, like lightning speed round discussion on like, here’s everything people need to know about ADHD. Obviously, it’s not an all encompassing list, but it is what came to mind, and it is a comprehensive list for me, of the things that I wish that the world knew about ADHD. It’s so interesting right now, ADHD is much more known than it was when I started the podcast. ADHD in adults, is something that is being diagnosed more and more. That’s a good thing, not a bad thing. Let me talk to you about why that’s such a good thing. There is such a discrepancy between the amount of children that are diagnosed and the amount of adults that know that they have ADHD, meaning there are a lot of adults walking around in the wild that don’t even know they have ADHD. We’ve got a lot of catching up to do to make sure that the appropriate people have the appropriate diagnosis. This isn’t about misdiagnosing people.

This isn’t about giving, like handing out diagnoses to people who don’t need it or who are not eligible. This is about making sure that there are not people out there in the wild who have ADHD, but just think that they’re flawed who have ADHD, but just think that they are selfish, or narcissists who have ADHD, but just don’t realize that the struggles that they face are actually due to symptoms of a neurodevelopmental disorder. So that’s why I’m creating this episode. That’s literally why I created the podcast, in general. And in the last six years, so much more awareness has been raised on this disorder, which is amazing. So we’re going to talk today about what I wish everybody knew about ADHD. This would be a great episode to send to a friend. This would be a great episode to send to a loved one, to a neurotypical who maybe doesn’t understand the disorder, or to someone who maybe you’re suspect has ADHD, or you’ve had conversations about ADHD and they’re not really quite ready to take the step of like being diagnosed or assessed. And that is totally fine, but this is just a great episode to share with the general public, because it’s, I just think it’s such important information. So we already know that ADHD is a neurodevelopmental disorder. It’s considered a mental health condition, but here’s what I want you to know. Number one, ADHD is one of the most treatable mental health conditions, if not the most treatable, there is a huge, huge percentage of people with ADHD who respond positively to treatment. Dr Russell Barkley, he’s the goat he’s been around forever.

Thank you, Dr Russell Barkley, for all of your work in the community, and one of the things that he says is that clinical improvement in behavior occurs in as many as 75 to 92% of those with ADHD, huge, huge. 75 to 92% of adults with ADHD who choose to be medically treated for the day. Disorder see clinical improvement in behavior. It’s massive. So we’re starting right off the bat with good news, and I want to make sure that this episode is really balanced between like, the severity of ADHD, which is quote, unquote bad news, but also the really good news that comes along with a diagnosis. It can be overwhelming, it can be hard to handle. It can be like, you can just be like, Oh my gosh, like, I never knew, and now, what am I supposed to do about this? But I really want this episode to contain a ton of good news, and that’s why we’re starting off the bat with some very, very good news that ADHD is one of the most treatable mental health conditions, if not the most treatable with behavioral improvement across the board, in those who respond well to treatment, which is most people okay. So that’s good news.

Number two, support systems really enhance success a robust support system can make it or break it. For somebody with ADHD, that’s a good news, bad news situation. That’s actually not good news to people who are struggling and don’t have a support system. That’s actually not good news to our friends who are underserved. That’s actually not good news to those who are impacted by poverty, food scarcity and like all that, that kind of thing. So that’s a good news bad news situation. The good news is that if you can develop a support system, your outcomes are going to be amazing. The bad news is that if a support system is not available to you, it’s going to be much harder for you to thrive. And so I hope that this podcast is one of those things in your support toolkit that will allow you to feel seen and heard and understood and give you knowledge and empower you to do right by yourself. And so I understand that those of you listening, I mean, I have listeners from all over the world, which is so fun, absolutely wild to me. And so I know that people have varied access to support. I understand that.

I do want to inspire you to begin to build your support system. And for those of you who are supporting someone with ADHD, maybe somebody sent you this podcast and you’re just like, I don’t have ADHD, but I’m listening to this because I care about the person who sent it to me. I want you to know that if you are a part of somebody with ADHD support system, that’s a really important role. And we thank you for your service. We thank you for your support. We thank you for what you do to help to build scaffolding for your ADHD person. And that’s what somebody with ADHD needs, is scaffolding, a scaffolding of support. And the higher the scaffolding goes, meaning the more support that you have, the more progress that the person with ADHD is going to be able to make, the more that person with ADHD is going to be able to thrive. So a varied support system is going to be really important, friends, family, accommodations at work, therapy, coaching, exercise, diet, like all of the things that just go into making this possible, it’s important. Okay, a support system really enhances success. Next number three, you’ve heard me talk about this a million times, but maybe you are a brand new listener. Maybe, maybe you’re a brand new listener, and if so, welcome. I adore you. I’m so glad you’re here. I hope you feel seen and heard and validated and understood in this space.

Here’s what I’m going to say. Number three, the superpower label can be very dismissive to a lot of folks with ADHD. Okay, there is kind of a movement in society, in my opinion, a toxically positive movement to try to make ADHD sound awesome. And that’s a no from me. That’s a no for me. I think people are awesome. I think that your personality is awesome. I think your sense of humor awesome, your creativity, the skills that you bring to the table, your ability to be empathetic, your sense of justice, everything that makes you, you superpower, awesome, amazing. ADHD itself, not so awesome, difficult disorder, a lot of symptoms that are going to hold back the most vulnerable of us. So sure, if you are a tall white male who’s rich and creative. And who’s had a support system his whole life, then sure, Adi, she is awesome for you. Awesome for you. That’s great. I’m so happy for you. But if you are just a typical Joe Schmo, maybe if you’re a kid who grew up in a city, maybe if you didn’t have access to a diagnosis or health care, or a two parent household or a one parent household, or had any adults in your life who were supportive. Maybe you didn’t have access to care or to therapy or to coaching.

Maybe you don’t have access to that now it is. She’s not so awesome for you. Is it okay, so be really careful about the way that you think about ADHD, in my opinion, trying to label it as a superpower or as awesome as some do, it’s not helpful. It’s not helpful to the general population of ADHD ers understanding that there are people from all different kinds of backgrounds struggling with this disorder. So for some you might look at your life and it’s a great life full of creativity, full of support, full of access to care, full of opportunity. And you look around and say, Wow, ADHD really did meet a solid it’s great. I’m actually glad I have ADHD. That’s great, and I am not. I don’t want to take away from that. I do want to make sure that you are owning the fact that that is your story, but not the typical story for someone with ADHD for me, personally, ADHD was debilitating. ADHD was a barrier to success. ADHD for me was not awesome. It was difficult. It was hard. It made my life so much harder than it would have been had I been a neurotypical. Okay, okay, so even though my life’s work is built around having ADHD, I get that I’ve been asked before, would you do it differently? Would you choose not to have ADHD, knowing what you’ve built today? That’s a hard question to answer. I still think the answer is, yes, I’ve been able to do this in spite of mine. ADHD, not because of my. ADHD, would I choose not to have? ADHD, yeah, I would, 100% 100% I’d do something different, right? I’d have maybe more success earlier. I’d have, I don’t know. I mean, I’m glad you’re here, I’m glad you’re here, I’m glad I’m here, I’m glad we’re together, I’m glad this is the way that everything is panned out. But it’s not fair, in my opinion, to label, to put a general label on ADHD as a superpower or as awesome when most people who have ADHD are really struggling, it can be very dismissive, it can be very invalidating, and it can be very like, what’s wrong with you? Because ADHD is a superpower. A lot of people who hear the ADHD as a superpower quip, a lot of ADHD ers receive that as well.

Then I must be bad at having ADHD, because it don’t feel like a superpower to me. It doesn’t feel awesome to me. I must be bad at it. This must be something like just another thing that I’m not really good at. I’m not good at having ADHD, apparently, because it’s not I don’t feel like it’s awesome. Okay, let’s move on from that one. That was number three. Here’s number four. Number four, ADHD. Medication is not enough. Pills don’t teach skills. Yes, most people respond really well to medication, and for those of you who are willing to give it a try and who have found it to be helpful, I’m so so glad. But pills don’t teach skills, and medication itself is not enough. Normally, what we need is a multitude of factors. And we talked about this a little bit in, like, support systems, but I’m I’m talking beyond support systems.

So like medication management, yes, it’s a great thing. But also regular physical exercise, very necessary therapy, like DBT, CBT, cognitive behavioral therapy usually not recommended for ADHD because we need much more focus on our emotions. So something like DBT, dialectical behavioral therapy can be extremely helpful. And other modalities like EMDR, somatic experiencing, internal family systems, those types of things can be helpful for us too. ADHD coaching is absolutely huge.

You know, I am passionate about coaching. Have a coaching program that I want you to join immediately go to Ihaveadhd.com/focused, to learn more about that mindfulness and meditation, like intentional breathing. I know that sounds like so terrible, but those kinds of things, community a come. Community of people who know you, who love you, who can be safe with you. Huge nutritional counseling. A lot of people with ADHD fall into one category of either being an over eater or an under eater, not all of the time, but that can generally be if we’re just doing like, an anecdotal overview, I would say a lot of people with ADHD struggle either with overeating, like I’m I’m sense, I’m seeking sensory stimulation, and I just, like, can’t seem to stop, or an undereater. I totally forgot to eat. I can never remember to eat. And then when I remember, like, it’s too late, I’m already shaky, I’m already hangry, I’m already dysregulated, and so nutritional counseling or working with someone specifically who understands ADHD and eating habits can be so helpful. So like a comprehensive treatment plan beyond medication is huge.

Okay, we’re flying through these. How are you doing? You good. Let’s go on to number five, the significance of emotional regulation. I wish every one in the world understood how much emotions play a part in ADHD management. There is no ADHD treatment that is successful without looking at emotions. Emotional dysregulation is a core aspect of ADHD, and being dysregulated impacts all areas of our life. It impacts our job, it impacts our relationships, it impacts how we are able to show up for work. It’s literally why we procrastinate. I have got tons of episodes on this, but like, if you procrastinate and you’re like, Why do I procrastinate? I don’t know why I procrastinate. It’s because of emotional dysregulation. Okay, not because you’re lazy. It’s not because you’re a bad person. It’s not because you just need to learn the tips and tricks. It’s because of emotional dysregulation. So I wish that the whole world understood how much emotions impact our ability to function as people with ADHD, who that is a very, very, very big one, the next one is hard. So I just, I want to, like warn you, this one is hard. Many of us, many, many, many, many, many, most question mark, all. Question Mark, I don’t know, but many of us with ADHD grew up in dysfunctional homes.

ADHD is inheritable. It is as inheritable as height. That means that your parents and your grandparents and your great grandparents and generations and generations and generations of people in your family likely had ADHD. And what do we know about people with ADHD? They are dysregulated, they are emotionally explosive, they are a little bit chaotic. They are distractible. They are really impulsive. They struggle with impulse control. They are more prone to addiction. So think about how that impacts generations of families. It’s not nothing. This is a big deal. So many of us with ADHD grew up in chaotic, dysfunctional families. There’s a correlation between ADHD and higher ACE scores. Ace stands for adverse childhood experiences. If you’ve explored the work of Dr Gabor Mate, who I am working out a date to have on the podcast. Fingers crossed. Knock on wood, salt over the shoulder, all of the things. I can’t wait to have a conversation with him. I’ve got very specific questions for him about his views on ADHD and trauma.

But suffice it to say, if you’ve explored his work at all, you know that he believes that ADHD is literally caused by these dysfunctional families and trauma. I do not go so far as to say that that’s not where I’m at. That’s not the camp that I am in. But I do know that there is a correlation between ADHD and adverse childhood experiences. I do know that I’ve coached 1000s of adults with ADHD, and I poll them constantly. I hear about their families. I hear about their growing up experiences and many, many, many report having chaotic, dysfunctional, highly, what’s the word highly? Highly? Oh gosh, guys, sometimes the words just don’t come. Don’t forget that I have ADHD too.

Okay, hi, all right. Highly dysfunctional, highly dysregulated, emotionally explosive families, many of us did not experience co regulation as kiddos, and CO regulation is very necessary for brain development and also for teaching you how to regulate your emotions, right? So I. Wish everyone knew that there’s a large connection between ADHD and dysfunctional families, and I wish that there was more focus put on that and that families in general, like when you discover that you have a kid with ADHD, and then you maybe discover that you have a diagnosis, because you’ve been filling out the paperwork, and you’re like, Oh, this is me. This is me, then thinking about your parents, who were likely undiagnosed, but maybe your parent was, but your grandparent definitely wasn’t, and thinking about the impact of that on families. Get your butts into therapy, get your butts into trauma, informed therapy with your family, so that we can start to change patterns in families. Okay, I could do this. Is why I’m writing a book on ADHD and relationships. I am so excited to get this out into the world, hopefully coming in 2026 if I can nab the right publisher. If you’ve been listening to this podcast for really any length of time. You know that I am so so so particular and who I allow to sponsor this podcast? And I am so excited to introduce a brand new sponsor, cozy Earth. Oh my gosh. I cannot wait to tell you about these products.

They’re changing my life. I’m not I’m not saying that lightly cozy. Earth’s mission is to transform your five to nine, you know, the time that you’re home, the time that matters most, into the most comfortable part of your day. They were so kind to send me a set of sheets and a pair of pajamas. And I cannot, I cannot communicate clearly enough how freaking soft, comfortable and cooling these items are every time I wake up in the middle of the night, which you know, it happens, I am literally wrapped in coziness, in comfort. I am not sweating through my pajamas. I know this is way too much information, but if you are of a certain age, you understand what I’m saying. I have loved using

cozy Earth sheets, cozy Earth pajamas, and I’m about to go buy a bathrobe with my own money because I’m obsessed. Again, there’s going to be way too much information about Kristen Carter and my sleep habits and what happens to me at night while I talk about cozy Earth because it is relevant. At the age of what am I? 43 I am sweating through every single t shirt every single night that I sleep in. Except I have not done that with these cozy Earth pajamas. They are so cooling, they are so comfortable, and I don’t have to wake up feeling sticky. I’m so sorry that I’m saying this, but it is relevant. I wake up feeling clean and dry, the pajama and sheet set combo, I’m telling you, life changing for me, my husband, he is really enjoying the sheets. They’re so comfortable, they’re so soft.

And those of us with ADHD, those of you who struggle to sleep, those of you who just feel like you’re hot, then you’re cold, then you’re hot, then you’re cold, those of you who are of a certain age, who are maybe sweating through your pjs every night and waking up in hot flashes and feeling uncomfortable. I’m telling you, these are going to change your life. I am very stingy with who I allow to be a sponsor on this podcast. You know that if you’ve been listening to this podcast for any length of time, you know I’ve said no to a ton of sponsors, and I am so excited to have cozy Earth as a supporter of the podcast, because I truly have been transformed by their products. What’s so cool is there’s 100 night sleep trial, so you can enjoy over three months to experience the unmatched comfort of cozy Earth. If you’re not completely in love with your bedding, you can return it hassle free. I guarantee you’re not going to want to. I guarantee you’re not going to want to, but you do have that assurance that if you don’t love it, you can return it hassle free. There’s also a 10 year warranty on all betting products they stand behind the quality of their bedding with a decade long word team. That means years of luxurious worry free sleep knowing your investment is protected. And listen, it is an investment. When you go on your website, you’re going to be like,

Wow, this is an investment. But what is so cool is that you can use the code I have ADHD at checkout for 40% off best selling sheets, pajamas and more. You’re not going to regret it. You are not going to regret it. I’m headed there now to use my own code to buy me a bathrobe and listen. Mother’s Day is coming up for those of you who are mothers who want to treat yourself, or if you have a mother in your life that you love. That you want to spoil, that you want to be like, Hey, I heard these are life changing. Give them a try, because I’m telling you, they’re gonna be so happy. You’re gonna get all the brownie points in the world. I swear. Listen, sanctuary awaits at cozy Earth. You’re gonna wanna go to cozy earth.com and use the code I have ADHD for 40% off best selling sheets, pajamas and more. There’s incredible temperature regulation. I have heard cozy Earth ads on other people’s pods, and I’ve been like, yeah, right. Literally, that has been my response when I’ve heard the ads about temperature regulation. I have not believed them, and then I started using the sheets, using the pajamas. And I’m not kidding, it works.

The sheets are so breathable, you’ll sleep several degrees cooler, and I’ve only been using them for a little while, so I can’t speak to this personally, but they pride themselves in durability. They do have that 100 night sleep trial and a 10 year warranty. So they really believe in their products. Like I said, I can’t speak to that quite yet, but I believe them, because everything else that they’ve said about them is true. So go to cozy earth.com. Use the code I have ADHD for 40% off of best selling sheets, pajamas and more. I will be going to buy a bathrobe shortly and enjoy. Don’t forget, Mother’s Day is coming up, so use code. I have ADHD for 40% off number seven.

What I want everyone to know, not just ADHD ers. I want the whole world to know that people with ADHD are not trying to be annoying. We’re not out to get you, we’re not trying to make your life harder. We’re struggling. That’s what I want you to know. There’s a there’s like, a huge misunderstanding that people with ADHD are intentionally disruptive, intentionally inattentive or just plain selfish, and that is not actually true for the majority. Of course, there are exceptions to the rule, but the majority of us care so deeply about other people and how we show up, and we’re working really, really hard in the background to be quote, unquote, normal and typical and show up in a way that you like, but it’s just a really hard for us, because we’re struggling with all of these symptoms that impact our behavior. Okay, but these behaviors, they stem from neurological differences, and they’re not deliberate attempts to annoy you or to frustrate you. I promise, if your neurodivergent person sent you this podcast and you happen to be neurotypical, and you’re listening because you love someone with ADHD, I want you to hear me say so gently but firmly, your ADHD person is trying real hard. In the background, they’re trying really hard. They know they’re not hitting the mark. They know that they’re messing up. They know that they appear lazy or selfish.

That is not their intention. They’re working on it. They’re trying to do better, but ADHD really impairs their ability to show up as typical, to show up as organized and prioritized and regulated and grounded and just like a neurotypical person. So what I ask of you, please do not expect us to be typical. Please do not have a standard of behavior that is neurotypical, that that you’re expecting your ADHD person to meet. That’s a standard they’re never going to be able to reach. They’re they’re always going to be failing if the bar is set at neuro typical. This is, like the secret thing that I think that most of our people want from us. They want us to be normal. They want us to be normies. They want us to be typical. If you could just be organized, if you could just not be time blind, if you could just not be emotionally exposed, if you if you could just not you know, on and on and fill in the blank and like,

Sure, there are things that we need to take responsibility for. We need to own our part, and we need to own the impact that we have on others. And it is unfair to expect me to show up as a neurotypical person, because I’m not neurotypical. That’s unfair of me to require that of myself, and it is unfair for my loved ones to require that of me. What does that look like? Practically? I don’t know. I don’t know. Everybody has it. Kind of has to figure that out in their own relationships. Everybody has to negotiate that, negotiate the terms of the relationship. Negotiate what what is expected and what you’re willing to tolerate. Like I understand that if your ADHD person is just like, continuously not able to meet the mark, that might be a deal breaker for you, but then just let it be a deal breaker and move on. Because I got to the point in my relationship. This was years ago. Greg and I’ve been married for 20 years. We’ve been working at this a long time, but I got to the point where I was just like, I am working on myself, but also this is who I am. Do you like me?

Do you like me? Do you accept me? Or no, I’m gonna need an answer yes or no there. There was a level of like, acceptance that I had to kind of put my foot down and require. And thank God he was like, yes, that is something that I will do. And there’s been a big shift. I mean, like my husband is, he’s a good man. He’s made a lot of changes, and it’s been really healing for me, but it might get to that point at each year where you have to look someone in the eye and say, like, Hey, I’m working on it, but also I’m never gonna meet the standard of being neurotypical. So do you like me or not?

Can we be friends or not like you’re gonna have to Whew. Okay. So what I want people to know is that we’re not trying to be difficult, we’re not trying to be annoying, we’re not trying to be selfish. These are symptoms that we’re really struggling with, and maybe we should take more responsibility, and you can ask us to do that, and that’s understandable, but also we’re never going to be neurotypical. Okay, moving on. What I wish everyone knew about ADHD. Somebody with ADHD is going to need flexible and creative systems. This kind of goes along with what I just talked about. Traditional organizational methods might not align with the ADHD cognitive process. Y’all. Traditional methods of doing anything might not align with the ADHD cognitive process and as much wiggle room as you can take for yourself, person with ADHD, as much wiggle room, as much flexibility as you can give yourself in these types of areas, the more you’re going to be able to thrive.

There will be areas in life where there’s just not wiggle room. So for example, I spent four hours at the DMV. That’s the Department of Motor Vehicles for people out in the wild. I spent four hours at the DMV two Fridays ago, four hours that’s not an ADHD friendly environment. That’s like a take a number, sit and wait your turn in a very noisy, uncomfortable setting. I was not about to, like, ask for an accommodation in that setting. I knew that I just had to buckle down and sit there and wait for my turn and do the things. So I’m trying to prove the point that, like, I understand, that not every environment is going to allow for creative solutions and flexibility like I get that you might also have a job where you’re having to fit into a very tight box, and that’s understandable if you’re able to do that, do it, but what I will say is that you’re going to need recovery time, so I hope that you’re allowing yourself in your safe places, to be flexible, to be creative, to do things your way, to have a lot of recovery time. So for example, after the DMV, I was there from 1pm until 5pm on a Friday afternoon, and I was like, I am doing nothing for the next however, many hours, I went home immediately. I couldn’t really talk to anyone. I couldn’t really engage with anybody. We ordered food for dinner. I sat on the couch in my PJs and looked at my phone for the rest of the night, and I was happy to do it like that. That’s what I needed to do to recover. So what I’m saying is you might have areas of your life that are extremely black and white, extremely inflexible, that’s fine, but in your safest places, can you allow for creative systems?

Can you allow for your own organizational methods? Can you allow for flexibility within your family, for enhancing your own productivity in ways that just allow your brain to like Buzz and thrive. If you can allow for those moments of flexibility, moments of creativity, moments of thinking outside of the box and like, bonus points, if you’re able to do that at work, bonus points if you’re able to do that in shared spaces, that’s incredible, but at the very least. Just allow that for yourself at home in your safest places. I wish everyone knew this is number nine. I wish everyone knew that sleep has a huge impact on your ADHD symptoms. Now this is a good news bad news situation, because some of you are not able to sleep. The good news is, if you’re able to get your sleep under control, you can really improve the severity of your symptoms. The bad news is that sleep is one of those issues that most of us, ADHD ers struggle with. Okay, so understanding, like being able to examine the common sleep challenges faced by people with ADHD and understanding that like if you can get yourself to power down earlier, if you can get yourself to be able to relax, to calm down your nervous system, to do some emotional regulation before bedtime, to journal, to Disconnect from screens to wear blue light glasses to allow yourself to sleep in we’re going to touch on that in a second. If you can improve your sleep, it’s very likely that you will see an improvement in your ADHD symptoms, not that they’re going to go away, but when you are on little sleep, you’re going to see an increase in ADHD symptoms. When you are sleeping better, you’re going to see a decrease of ADHD symptoms. So sleep really impacts the severity of symptoms.

Many ADHD ers have what’s called a delayed circadian rhythm, meaning that our bodies naturally want to stay up later and naturally want to get up later in the mornings. And this hearkens back to a couple weeks ago, and I was like, Why does everything start so early? Why does everything start so early? Most of us, neurodivergent folks do not do mornings. We want to get up late. We want we start thriving around 10:11am, am I right? Like, where? Where’s the petition that I can sign to make sure that, like every neuro divergent person is able to start their day later. This will absolutely help us to thrive. So sleep impacts your ADHD symptoms, the severity of symptoms, and also it’s important to understand that, like, if you struggle to wake up early, that’s typical for people with ADHD, that is, that is not new, that that’s something to be expected. So the question is, are you able to do something about it? Can you accommodate yourself? Can you accommodate your life, or is it something that you just have to deal with? And if so, how do you want to support yourself in that? Because beating yourself up and telling yourself like, Oh, come on, everybody else, can do it. Why can’t you do it? Why can’t you do it? You should. You should just be able to do it. You have three alarms set. Why do you keep missing it’s because you’ve got anything. It’s because you’re neurodivergent, is because your body and your brain are not consenting to wake up at an early time. They’re not consenting.

Okay, so you’re trying to force yourself to do something that your body’s not consenting to do. How can you support yourself in that can you do everything the night before so you can get up at the last minute? Can you shower, pack your lunch, pick out your clothes. Can you make it so that there’s very little that you need to do in the morning? Can you have someone like your partner or your parent or your best friend or your roommate helping you get out the door in the morning? Can Is there any kind of support that you can add for yourself, all right, number 10, and this is the last one on my list. And then I’m going to go through, like, a really quick list that I Googled. But these were the these were the things that off the top of my head when I asked myself, What are the 10 things that I wish everybody knew about ADHD? These were the 10 things that came to mind. The last one, number 10. There’s a lot of successful people with ADHD. Having ADHD is not a death sentence. It is not a sentence of like you’re never going to be successful, and that is good news. Do you see how I’m sandwiching this entire episode with good news? That’s very important to me. I want you to know that there are a lot of successful people with ADHD. I’m not saying ADHD is a superpower, and I am not saying that ADHD is awesome, but I am saying that with the right treatment, with the right support, with the right understanding and access, and, let’s be honest, money like with the things people really can thrive with ADHD.

I’m going to go through a list of people that you will probably recognize who have ADHD, Channing, Tatum, Emma Watson, Ryan Gosling, Will Smith, Liv Tyler, that’s a blast from the past. Tom Hanks, Adam Levine, Zoe, oh gosh. Jay Chanel Alfie, Allen, James Oliver, Howie Mandel, type. Bington, Solange Knowles, Justin Timberlake, Adam Levine, Lily, Allen Grimes, Richard Branson, Walt, Disney, the IKEA founder and gosh, his name Ingvar comprod, I hope I said that right, but he founded IKEA. That’s not nothing. Athletes like Michael Phelps and Simone Biles and influencers like Paris Hilton and probably a million other influencers now that you’re following on the tiktoks and the Instagrams and all of the places, ADHD

is not something that holds everyone back. ADHD is something where, if you are willing and able to get a diagnosis, be treated, add in a lot of support, spend extra money on yourself to provide support that you need to provide the scaffolding if you’re if you’re willing to do the deep work, if you’re willing to do the things you that there is nothing that you will not be able to accomplish. You will be able to set your mind to something and get it done. If you’re willing to learn how to regulate your emotions, there’s nothing that you won’t be able to do. If you’re willing to seek treatment and build a scaffolding of support, if that’s something that’s available to you or that you are just like, okay, that’s not available to me right now, but I’m gonna make a five year plan so that in five years, it is available to me, which is valid.

So I understand it’s not gonna be available to everyone listening immediately. But can you make a plan for it to be available to you eventually, if you’re able to harness this wild Ferrari engine with bicycle brakes, if you’re able to you can do amazing things. People with ADHD can be highly successful, highly intuitive, highly creative, highly respected individuals in society. And I want you to know that just because you have ADHD does not necessarily mean that you are going to be held back by this disorder.

No having an ADHD diagnosis is simply information about yourself. Now we know what we need to focus on, what we need to treat, what we need to support, what we need to spend our money on, the areas in which we need to grow. And here’s the best news ever, and maybe we’ll end here. The best news ever is that your brain is willing to change. The best news ever is that your brain is neuro plastic. It is willing to change from the cradle to the grave. The brain is willing to change. There was once the idea in science that the brain was fixed, that cognitive skills were fixed, that ability to regulate emotions were fixed, that there is no changing it like it is what it is you get what you get, and you don’t get upset. And that is not actually the case. What science tells us now is that neuroplasticity is a thing, and it refers to the brain’s ability to change at any age. And so what I’m telling you, adhdr, is that these are skills you can develop. You can develop impulse control. You can develop emotional regulation. You can develop the ability to focus and to organize and to work on these things. But it’s not just going to happen. It’s not just going to happen something you have to be intentional about, something that you have to pursue. It’s something that you have to set your mind to and again, I am saying this understanding that everyone listening has a different level of access to care. But what I’m saying is at least put this in the back of your brain as a plan for the future. Okay, and if you have access to care now, take advantage of it, you are privileged. Act like it. You are privileged. Use that privilege. I just I’m getting hot. I’m getting hot like those of you who have money, spend it in ways that are supportive to you. Not everyone has money. I get that, but it’s almost insulting. It’s almost insulting to those without money that those of you with money aren’t using it to support yourself, use your money to support yourself. So what does that look like? That looks like you hiring support systems like a therapist, like a coach. It looks like you hiring people to help you around your house and to be your frontal lobe, to be your assistant, to be to do your laundry, to like all of the things that we suck at, hire help. My goodness, my I didn’t. This was not in my notes.

This is. So this is not in my nose, but I just, I think that there’s this barrier where it’s like, I suck at this stuff, and I should be better at it, so I don’t deserve to get the support. And I am saying, No, you suck at this stuff. You are lucky to have access to help. So take it. Take it. And for those of you who don’t make a plan, okay, I don’t have access now. How can I make a plan for the future, and what free things can I lean on now so that in the future I’m setting myself up for success. So here are some free recommendations, YouTube channels, like how to ADHD my podcast, I have 311 episodes. That’s hours, that’s hundreds of hours of free. Help for you start to journal. Journaling is free. There is nothing more free than journaling. Pick up a pencil, pick up the back of an envelope, and start writing your thoughts down. Become aware of your thoughts and emotions. Read books on emotional regulation. Listen to my podcasts on emotional regulation. One of the books that it’s kind of old now, but it’s called the brain that changes itself, by Norman Doidge, and then one called the brain that heals itself. They’re all about neuroplasticity and how the brain is willing to change. If you believe that, if you believe that science, you will make a change. You will go out and make a change, even if it’s a free change. You know, it’s free exercise, go for a run. You know it’s free community, meeting with a friend, finding safe friends. That’s free. So do the free things. If you are sitting here and you’re just like, I just, I don’t have access to care, I don’t have any money, like, there’s no hope for me. No, that’s not true. Do the free things. Like, it’s your job, okay. Oh, this is what I wish everyone knew.

This is what I wish everyone with ADHD knew, those are the 10 things I’m not going to go into anything else. Thank you so much for being here. I was a little bit spicier than I expected it to be, so I hope you loved it. If you are someone who’s neurotypical, who like you know, your ADHD person sent you this podcast. Thank you for listening. That means so much to us. It means so much to us. Thank you for opening yourself up and being willing to understand, being willing to hear, being willing to learn and listen. We appreciate you. All right, peeps, I can’t wait to talk to you next week. I’ll see you then. A few years ago, I went looking for help. I wanted to find someone to teach me how to feel better about myself and to help me improve my organization, productivity, time management, emotional regulation, you know, all the things that we adults with ADHD struggle with, I couldn’t find anything. So I researched and I studied and I hired coaches, and I figured it out, and then I created focused for you. Focused is my monthly coaching membership where I teach educated professional adults how to accept their ADHD brain and hijack their ability to get stuff done. Hundreds of people from all over the world are already benefiting from this program, and I’m confident that you will too go to Ihaveadhd.com/focused for all details.