Kristen Carder 0:05
Foreign Welcome to the I have ADHD podcast, where it’s all about education, encouragement and coaching for adults. With ADHD, I’m your host, Kristen Carter and I have ADHD, let’s chat about the frustrations, humor and challenges of adulting, relationships, working and achieving with this neurodevelopmental disorder, I’ll help you understand your unique brain, unlock your potential and move from point A to point B.
Hey, what’s up? This is Kristen Carter, and you’re listening to the I have ADHD podcast. I am medicated, caffeinated, regulated ish and ready to roll. So glad to be here with you today, coming at you from Manayunk, Pennsylvania. Happy, happy, happy to be in studio recording. And I gotta tell you, I am hung over. I am hung over in the most serious way today, and it’s not exactly what you expect, because, yes, I am still sober. Ish, mostly very much sober. I haven’t had a drip of alcohol in quite a long time, but I feel so hung over. I just got back from a six day trip to Texas where I took my middle guy, Charlie, to a water polo tournament. Apparently, I am the mom now who spends money and time and energy at water polo tournaments far far away in a land far far away called Texas. And yes, I did go to a rodeo. And yes, it was so much fun. We had a great time. But here’s what happens when I travel. I don’t know about you, but when I am out of my element, I’m not sleeping in my bed. I don’t have my food, I don’t have anything that like is mine. My routine is not mine. My time is not mine. When you’re on somebody else’s schedule, My bed is not mine, my food like nothing is mine, like I It depletes me so much. And we landed in the Philly airport at 11pm on Sunday. Got home at 2am because we had to wait for our whatever. It’s annoying. I don’t even want to say it. It took forever. It took forever. Usually it’s just like an hour. Boop, no problem. But it took forever to get home. And then here’s what happened. I got home at two, 2am I just wanted, like, shout out to all of the people who have to travel for work. I don’t know how you do it. Shout out to all of the people who are traveling for like, sports and all of the things it is so hard with ADHD to just like, bounce back into your life. So I’m hungover, y’all I’m so I just I don’t feel like myself. I feel like I’m floating right now and not in a good way, not in the cute way, not in an adorable way.
I just don’t feel like I am fully here, but I am ready to go. Okay, we’re gonna talk today about a topic that doesn’t get a ton of attention in the ADHD world. We talk a lot about medication, we talk a lot about therapy and coaching and diet and exercise and all of that is really, really good, but what we’re going to talk about today is setting up your life to reflect your ADHD brain. We’re going to talk about lifestyle and environment and changes that you can make in your own world to accommodate your ADHD because, yes, medication, therapy, coaching, all of that is powerful, diet and exercise matter, but at some point in your ADHD treatment journey, you’ve gotta stop and ask, Is my life set up for my brain, or am I trying to live like a neurotypical? Am I trying to live like someone I’m not? Am I trying to pretend that I’m just like, sure I’m easy breezy, I can do everything everyone else does. I can. I can live my life just like everybody else. Am I? Am I trying to fit into the box that was never meant for me in the first place. But before we get to that, I have, I mean, we’ve reached a goal, guys, I have a big announcement. I’m so happy. We finally got to 10,000 subs on YouTube, and this is a big deal for your girl, for all of us, for this little, little baby community on YouTube, trying to make a way for ourselves in the world, trying to get started here. I’m so glad like thank you so much for being a part of this show. Thank you for watching. Thank you for your comments. I read every single one. I do try to respond to all of them. I don’t always get to do that, but your engagement matters so much. I appreciate you so much. Please continue to like and subscribe. It matters so much. And for my OG audio listeners like I have not abandoned you. I You are the reason why I am here. You are the reason why I’m I am in this beautiful studio.
You my OG. G audio, Apple Spotify all of the things. Listeners, thank you. I love you. Please continue to listen. You don’t have to move over to YouTube. Just stay where you are. We love you right where you are. So if you don’t mind, though, following the show and giving a rating and maybe even a review that would matter so much, this is what keeps the show going. Is your engagement, your listening, your rating, your reviewing, your subscribing, all of that is what keeps the show going. It’s what keeps me getting in my car every Tuesday and popping down the Schuylkill expressway to be able to come here and record in Philly. So I appreciate you. I love you. I’m so glad you’re here, and I’m so glad that we’re we’re growing the ADHD community of people who are interested in self development, who are interested in making a difference in themselves and in the world. I’m so glad that we’re giving light to like, a healthy approach to an ADHD journey that matters so much. And I really, really am so grateful. I’m so grateful. Okay, so let’s get back to the topic for today. Most of us are trying to meet the expectations of society without really even realize that we’re realizing that we’re doing that. So we’re trying to have, like, a really tidy home and a rigid routine, a traditional schedule instead of which is fine if that’s what you love, but if it doesn’t work for you, you can build your life around things that do support your brain, that accommodate the way that you operate, that that are more functional and and work better for you. Okay, so accommodating your ADHD, like taking medication, engaging in therapy, engaging in coaching, increasing your exercise amount, making sure that your diet is like healthy. It’s not giving up, it’s not cheating, it’s smart, it’s compassionate to yourself, it’s actually the most efficient way to become someone who can thrive with ADHD, and once you’ve accepted that ADHD is like a real thing, that it’s not just like this cute, little, non serious diagnosis, but that it is an actual, legitimate diagnosis that deserves medical treatment and that has amazing outcomes. Once you decide to take it seriously and treat it and you start, you stop trying to, like, catch up with everybody else, the next step is aligning yourself, aligning your life with the brain that you have, not the brain that you wish you had. Not not like the fantasy version of you, but like the actual, realistic reality brain that you do have, which is a great brain you have.
You have a wonderful brain, but it just might require some accommodating. Okay, it might require some accommodations. And it’s not about making things on the outside look good. It’s not about making you look neurotypical. It’s not about making you like fit in. It’s about saving your capacity and your brain power. I talked about Spoon Theory years ago on this podcast. And essentially, it’s like everyone is given a certain number of spoons, and we spend those spoons throughout the day on the different things that we do. And as someone with ADHD, it costs me more spoons to do certain activities, like, for example, just getting out the door in the morning, which is just like a very normal, natural thing that neurotypicals do. And it’s just like whatever, like, they just go through the routine, and it’s not very costly to them speak. I know I’m speaking in generalities, okay, in general, for somebody with ADHD, it is actually quite costly. Just that, quote, unquote simple thing, getting out the door in the morning. How many decisions are you having to make? How many steps are there? There’s like 742 steps that need to be accomplished before I can get out the door in the morning, fully dressed, clothed, showered with food in my belly, with medication in my system, not leaving a disaster of a home behind me. Like being able to just like start my day actually costs a lot of spoons, right? And so what we’re talking about today is adjusting your lifestyle and accommodating yourself so that you’re spending your spoons in areas that actually matter.
Do we want to use all of our brains energy and capacity on things like keeping our home clean? Or do we want to spend our brains energy and capacity changing the world, changing our lives? Lives, being amazing at our job, being amazing at parenting or partnering or whatever it is that’s like, really important to you. That’s where I want you to spend your spoons. That’s where I want you to spend your energy. I don’t want us to have this idea that we have to give all of our time, all of our energy, all of our capacity to things that don’t actually matter in the long run. So today, we’re going to talk about accommodating our lifestyle so that it is less costly for us to just live, to just like do the things. And I want to shout out my focus members here. So I have a coaching program. It is wonderful. I would love for you to join. I serve adults with ADHD from all over the world, and it is the warmest, most encouraging and lovely community of adults with ADHD you will ever find. So I encourage you to go to I have adhd.com/focused
to learn more about that. But last week I polled my focus members. I just said, like, Hey, how are you accommodating yourself in real life? And these are people living with ADHD who’ve taken the time to reflect, experiment and create sustainable systems for themselves that actually work. And so I’m so grateful to them. I want to say a huge thank you to those of you who contributed. It’s really, I know it’s going to be helpful for so many people. So we’re going to what I’ve done is I’ve categorized their suggestions. And so we’re going to start with meal prep and food systems. Here are some easy, breezy tips for simplifying and a com simplifying your routine and accommodating your ADHD brain when it comes to meal prepping and food systems, I kind of like played with how I wanted to do this. Did I just want to, like, list it out, list out the tips? Did I want to? I don’t know, but I think it’s actually going to be great for you to hear from these ADHD ers in their own words. I think that is actually and this just goes to like community matters. Being surrounded by people with ADHD actually matters. Hearing from other people who have the same brain as you really, really does matter. So I’m just gonna read their exact words, so that you can hear the heart behind it, and you can get a little bit of the flavor of who they are. So this is in the category of meal prep and food systems, which, Lord knows, at least for me, is a very costly area of my life. Actually, even this morning, as I was getting out the door, oh my gosh, I made pancakes this morning. My kids love them. It’s just one of the mom things that I do. So I got up early to make them for my son before he went to band camp, because we got a band nerd on our hands. He’s so good at the snare drum, he’s he’s at band camp all week, and I ate pancakes for breakfast.
It was wonderful. I made them and I was going to eat them in the car on the way to Philly, but I forgot that lunch was a thing. Like, did you know that lunch is also a thing? I’m going to be here till two. I’m going to need lunch also. And I just, like, I just got so angry in the moment, like, I have to think about lunch also like, why is my life so hard? I end up just throwing a yogurt in my bed, like, that. Ought to do it. A yogurt ought to do it. But here are some meal prep and food systems that will help you spend less spoons in this area. So Liz says, I have about three recipes for each meal, meaning breakfast, lunch and dinner, and I eat them on repeat. When I want something special, I get it or I go out, but it keeps the decision fatigue at bay. Do you have just like a bunch of meals that you know are easy breezy and that you can just have on hand so that you don’t have to continue to decide at every single meal what you’re going to eat. Ashley says, I keep, this is very similar. I keep a list of regular meals that I cook clipped to a ribbon inside of a cabinet, and then I transfer them to the ribbon on the outside to plan meals so inside of the cabinet and outside of the cabinet, the clips on the outside of the cabinet have the days of the week written on them. Can you visualize that in your brain eat each year? So on the inside of the cabinet is all of the meals that she makes, and on the outside she clips the meal to each day. That’s brilliant. Lizzie says we always have frozen pizzas in our freezer, so if you’re tired or you don’t want to cook, you just throw one in and no guilt because you didn’t order takeout. I am a huge proponent of this frozen pizza, frozen like french fries, chicken nuggets, tater tots. Can we give a shout out to tater tots? Because Lord knows that an American child who. Loves a tater tot. I just I am so in favor of having easy things on hand for the days where you’re just like, I cannot. And what’s the difference between eating fast food takeout and a frozen meal? Probably not much, except for it is so much more economical to just grab a frozen pizza from your fridge than to order a pizza from you know, our go to place, which is paparones. Paparones Pizza, baby. So good. Okay. Lizzie also says I have a digital grocery list on my phone, and I use it as I notice something is out, I immediately add it to my list. Digital grocery list is a great idea. What I did this like last night, we used the last of the ketchup at dinner. What was we eating? Oh, we had eggs for dinner, and we used the last of the ketchup. And I literally left the ketchup out on the counter. And I said to Greg, I’m leaving this ketchup out on the counter because I am going to order groceries in the morning and I don’t want to forget it. I could have just said a reminder in my phone, but as I’ve said, I’m exhausted. I just I’m not thinking clearly, so I just left the ketchup bottle out on the counter, and did I remember to order it this morning? Yes, yes, I did. It works. Okay. Like leaving it in your sight line does work. And Lizzie makes a great point her her list is digital, because if she writes it down, she loses the piece of paper. Like, how relatable is that?
Like, I’m just gonna lose the piece of paper anyway. There’s no point in me writing it down. I’ll keep it on my phone. I loved this suggestion. Liz adds another suggestion here. She says, I keep healthy snacks, baskets of healthy snacks and water everywhere in my desk, in the basket under my desk, in my car, just stashing things for your future self is really a kind gesture, isn’t it in her nightstand for all of those times that I’m hyper focused and I forget to eat. Solidarity girl, everyone with ADHD knows what to do to improve their lives. You go to bed at a reasonable time, you wake up early, you make a list, you cross things off the list in order, blah, blah, blah. Like, yeah, we know what to do, but ADHD is not a disorder of not knowing what to do. It’s a disorder of knowing exactly what to do but not being able to get yourself to do it. That’s why I created focused. It’s an ADHD coaching membership for adults with ADHD. I’m a life coach with multiple certifications, and since 2019 I’ve coached over 4000 adults with ADHD from all over the world. I know what it takes to help an adult with ADHD, go from Hot Mess express to grounded and thriving. I’ll teach you how to understand your ADHD brain, regulate your emotions and your behavior and accept yourself, flaws and all. And with this foundation, we’ll build the skills to improve your life with ADHD. And not only do you get skills and tools and focus, but you’re surrounded by a huge community of adults with ADHD who are also doing the work of self development right alongside of you. Dr Ned Hallowell says healing happens in community, and I have absolutely found this to be true. So if you’re an adult with ADHD who wants to figure out how to be motivated from the inside out and make real, lasting changes in your life. Join hundreds of others from around the world in focused go to I have adhd.com/focused to learn more. That’s I have adhd.com/focused to check it out. Okay, let’s move on to medication and health routines. So here are just some tips from regular schmegular ADHD ers who are just trying to keep their shit together when it comes to medication and taking care of their health. David, I love this idea. David’s Doctor accepts email requests for refills, which is wonderful, and I’m jealous of that. So when he sends a refill request, he then schedules the next email to go out, so he writes the next email and schedules it so he’s not always forgetting to request a med refill. I wonder what your plan is for your Med refills? I haven’t, I haven’t implemented a good plan with this, and I often am left without medication because of it. So I just want to say, like do as I say, not as I do, because I haven’t figured out a great system for this. But if your doctor accepts emailed requests. This is a great system. Just schedule the next email to go out. I love that Ashley, and I think I will start doing this. Ashley has a great suggestion. Ashley says I hide a few days worth of meds in another container so when I run out. Out of the medication in the main jar. I know it’s time to call in a refill. I love that. That is really good. Maybe I will do that one,
because it’s not enough urgency for me when I like see it, if I can still shake it and hear rattling, I’m like, I’m good, but to run out of the first jar that’s really, really, really smart. I love that. Valerie says I take advantage of technology scheduled send for emails, alarm notifications to take my meds. I have an app that helps me manage my groceries and household supplies and doctor’s appointments, another app for a cleaning schedule. I pay for them, and they allow me to share them with my family, so I’m not the keeper of all of the information. Valerie that is so smart, similar to this, Clayton says having an Apple watch with reminders, timers, texts and music was a life changer. With a watch, I don’t pick up my phone and get distracted because of the simple tools that are just here on my wrist.
Another thing that Clayton shared is that when he’s in a conversation with someone and an important thing comes to his brain, he asks the person, hey, can you just hang on a second? I need to set a reminder. And he sets a reminder on his phone during a conversation, I will say that I also do this, and it took a little while for me to get comfortable, because it is a little jarring sometimes to the other person, when we’re going back and forth and I’m like, wait a second, I just had a thought, I need to set a reminder. But it has been so helpful to me to be able to do that. I’ve even done it during a class that I am teaching. I’m like, teaching a class, and I’m like, Oh my goodness. I just had a thought. Just give me a second while I set this reminder. Now, to be fair, I am teaching ADHD ers, and so I can kind of lead by example there, but it has been life changing to be able to have the confidence and the self assurance to just pause and say, like I need to take a moment here to set a reminder. Because how often do important things come to our brain, and then we want to look like we’re paying attention to the other person, but really we’re trying to hold that important thing in our mind and like, don’t forget. Don’t forget. Don’t forget. And then we’re just pretending to pay attention to the person that we’re interacting with. That’s not really great for them. They can tell they can tell that we’re pretending. So why not just pause and say, I’m really interested in what you’re saying, but can I just pause you so I can set this reminder. Then you pause and set the reminder. Then you come back to them and say, Thank you so much for your patience. Okay, what were you saying? Let’s get right back into it, and then you can give them your full attention. I think that’s really I think that’s a really nice thing to do. Okay, let’s move on to the category of your home life. All right. Emily has a great suggestion here. I love this. She said I started making homes, and I’m using air quotes like homes for for things in places where I actually drop them instead of the places where I think they should go. Let me say it again, she creates homes for things in the places where she actually drops them, because she’s onto herself. She knows herself like in an esthetic home. This should go over here, but I know me, and I know that I’m gonna walk in the door and I’m gonna just drop it on the mud bench, so I might as well create an actual home for it right there. She goes on to say, if I need to see it, to remember where it is when I need it, it’s hung up on the wall at eye level or stored in a see through container. See through container, by the way, genius. If I don’t need to see it, it’s stored out of sight to reduce visual clutter. I love it so much. Liz shares something very similar. She says, hooks, hooks, hooks and bins, bins, bins. Let’s all gather around ADHD ers and our version of kumbaya is hooks, hooks, hooks and bins, bins, bins. Okay, like that’s where we’re storing stuff, laundry, this is her suggestion with laundry, jeans, bras, sweatshirts and anything I wear more than once goes on a hook so that I know that it’s clean enough, all of my dog’s things and my outerwear are in a bench by the front door shores, shoes are in bins under it, keys are on a hook right next to the door, plus an air tag.
It took me years into adulthood before I like realized that you have to put your keys. In the same place every day. I didn’t know that. I didn’t know that. It took me years. Now what I do my hack is that I just keep my keys in my purse. My keys are just always in my purse, and my purse is on the hook, and that’s just that, like I don’t maybe that’s just a woman thing. And what’s awesome is that I don’t need the actual key to turn on the car, so I never have to go looking for my key. It’s just always in my purse. Okay? Lorna says I pretty much never physically go into the supermarket or large shop. I buy online. Or if I must go into a large shop, I go 10 minutes before it closes, so that I have the urgency to stay focused on what I need to get. That’s brilliant. I agree. I never actually go to the grocery store unless it’s just like I forget something and I run into go get it. But when I’m placing a large order, I cannot remember the last time that I actually bought a week’s worth of groceries by going into the store. One of my first episodes on this podcast. And I remember recording it in my basement on the floor, and I was so, like, passionate about it, and it was like, How to grocery shop with ADHD. And the whole point of the episode was like, you don’t grocery shop with ADHD. You just place an order. Like you don’t actually go into the shop shout out to 2018 me who recorded that cute little podcast. She really, she really didn’t even know where we would be right in six years. That’s so funny. But I fully second this. Like, if you are not ordering your groceries weekly online. You need to start and I order from my grocery store, and it has like a past purchases. So I just go into past purchases, and it’s like the same thing every week. I’m just clicking the same things every week. Today, I ordered groceries as I already said, and it was so expensive, I don’t know how. How are we? Like, all surviving? Are you okay? Like, is everyone okay? Groceries are It’s wild. Now, to be fair, I have three boys, two of whom, like, I have a 1715, and 11 year old. So, like, I I am feeding a lot of mouths growing boys, but still, gosh, okay, let’s move on. Bill says I keep post its and Sharpies in almost every room in my house. So when I think of something that I have to do, I write it down fast before I forget. It’s worked pretty well. Sometimes I lose the Sharpies, or someone moves the post, it pads, and then I have a hard time staying emotionally regulated. Like, God damn it, where are my post its right? Like, I can just imagine bill being like, I know that I had Sharpies and post its here and someone stole them. So solidarity. But I think this is a great idea. I love the use of post its and in focus last week, we were talking about how to celebrate your wins. And if you are the type of person that writes a to do list, that writes a that writes you know, things on post its that you need to get done, I encourage you to have a place where you actually put the things that you’ve done and you can see them and celebrate them. We coined it a done it wall. So, like, instead of a to do list, now I have a wall where I can, just like, put all of the things that I’ve actually done, and I can recognize my work, and I can celebrate myself, and I can stop telling myself that I never do anything that I say I’m going to do, because that’s not actually true.
So making a visual representation of the things that you’ve actually done, I think could be so amazing. So anyway, I just had this thought, because we were talking about post its and I love a good post it, like, who doesn’t love a post it. But if you could create a space in your home where you can pop the post its of the things that you have done because, like, crossing it off the list is nice, like, who doesn’t love a good cross off the list, but then it’s kind of over. Like, I wonder if, if if you struggle to celebrate yourself, if you struggle to acknowledge what you’ve done, if you struggle to feel good about yourself, if you could create a wall, even if it’s just like the inside of a cabinet or the inside of a of a closet door, where you just, like, post all of the things that you’ve done. I’m imagining it. Can you? Can you imagine it with me? It’s like, covered in all different color, post its then at the end of the week, you can see, like, oh, here are the things that I’ve actually done. I’m not a loser, I’m not someone who’s lazy. I’m not not doing things I actually do get things done. Just a little pro tip there. I hope that’s helpful. All right, next, Emma says when I was. Organizing a new space. I saved good, small to medium sized boxes with lids. I used the bottom of the boxes like trays to keep them in the same category together. Never put the lid on so that I can see everything. Bonus points for putting fun paper in the bottom to make them look nice. Love it. Lorna says, I allow myself permission to throw clothes on the floor in my bedroom before bed. Hell yeah, Lorna, I don’t even bother trying to put them away, but in the morning I have to pick them up. Usually I make it a game. She’s so cute. Usually I make it a game to a favorite song, playing like, go do it before the song ends, I will just say, circling back to me being hungover, if you could see my closet area with like my dresser, it is a hot mess. Express. And last night, I was getting ready for bed and Greg was stretching because we’re in our 40s now, so we have to stretch before bed anyone else. So Greg is stretching. I’m getting ready for bed, and I just look at him. I’m like, I’m pointing to, like, the suitcase on the floor and the clothes everywhere, and like the toiletries and all of it. And I was just like, Listen, I don’t have it in me. I do not have it in me to do anything about this. I have to record to like, I had just finished a chapter of my book because I had a book deadline last night, of course, and then I was like, I have to record two podcasts tomorrow.
I can’t care about this. I can’t I didn’t say these words, but essentially, what I was saying to him is, I can’t spend my spoons on this mess right now. I can’t care about it. I don’t want to give my energy to this. I don’t want to give my capacity to this. And he literally said, Babe, it’s been 20 years. I think I can handle it. Okay? It’s been 20 long years. He knows like and so I love this. Lorna says, allow myself permission to throw the clothes on my floor. Yeah, who cares if there’s clothes on your floor? Do you know that it’s not moral? Do you know that it has nothing to do with your character if you have clothes on the floor? Who cares? The people who say like, the way that you do one thing is the way that you do everything? No. Bs not true. Absolutely not true. Those are the people who say, like, it matters if you make your bed, come on. Are you kidding me? It like, yeah, like, really serious people make their bed, and that’s what’s going to lead you to success if you make your freaking bed. I’m sorry, but no again, going back to capacity, going back to how costly it is to do the simple things in life, I am not going to use my energy to make my bed. I am sorry. No, I will use leftovers to do things like that. So every once in a while I feel like making my bed, in that case, I will, but it is not a thing that I’m like, Oh, I have to make my bed. I have to keep my room tidy. I have to make sure my dresser. No, I’m gonna be messy. If I want to be messy, it’s fine. I have more important things to do with my life, like recording this podcast, like helping people with ADHD, like writing a book like that is way more important than me picking my clothes up off of the floor or unpacking my suitcase within 48 hours of returning. It’s gonna be way more than 48 hours we’re going. We’re going at least 72 and listen, I don’t care. I have more important things to do with my life, and so do you all right, my friends, it is time to shout out long time supporter of the show, ag one. I’ve got a story to tell you. I get refills from time to time from ag one, which I’m so thankful for. But because I just like, I got a box that looks familiar, and I just, I let it sit, I let it sit on my mud bench for weeks, which is kind of embarrassing, but whatever, I let it sit there for a long time, and when I finally opened it, I squealed with delight, which is, I mean it, it called attention. My husband was like, what’s going on? AG, one has new flavors. When I opened the box, I was given three brand new, beautiful, exciting flavors. They have citrus, Berry and tropical. This is a big deal, because after drinking years of the original, which was fine, fine, fine, fine. We’ve got some options now. There’s more options. I’m obsessed with this. I’ve been on an ag, one streak for a long time. You already know this about me. It’s one of the few habits that I have added into my life and actually stuck with for years, and this has just made it even better. My favorite is. Is citrus. The favorite new flavor that I’ve tried to sit with. It’s sweet and tangy. It’s like lemon and orange had like a wellness baby. It’s delicious. And if citrus doesn’t float your boat, there’s also Berry and tropical. And of course, the OG original, which is kind of like a pineapple vanilla, but it’s very, very subtle flavor.
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Okay, we’re going to move on to some ADHD friendly accommodations for time management and productivity. So here’s a suggestion from Valerie. She says, I have opening and closing checklists for both home and work. Do you know what that means? Like when you open your day? Here are the things that need to be done, and it’s it’s like every day, it’s the same stuff. What’s hard for an ADHD er is that even though it’s like, every day is the same stuff, our brain doesn’t hold on to that routine. And so it actually is pretty costly for us to have to go through that routine every single day, because we’re like, where am I? What’s next? Do I have to make a decision about what to eat? There’s just so many steps, like I said earlier, 742 steps to like, get out the door. So what Valerie has done is she’s created an opening day checklist and a closing day check. Here are the things that I have to do to open the day. Here are the things that I have to do to close the day for both home and work. I think this is brilliant. I think this is brilliant.
She goes on to say, that way, I know all the important tasks get done every day, but I don’t necessarily have to do them in the same order. I’ve also calculated how much time all of this takes. So it’s just easy to stick with it. I mean, we gotta clap it up for that one. That is a great that is a great suggestion. You may wonder how Valerie calculated her time. I’m going to guess that she did a time audit so she timed herself a couple days doing the things so that she could kind of get an average of how long something takes. She did not tell me that specifically, but I’m going to guess, because she’s in focused, and that is one of the things that we suggest in our time management course. And by we, I mean me. Okay, here’s a really good one. I’ve never thought to do this. Dominique says I use the travel time feature in the Apple calendar app to make sure that I remember that I have to get from one place to another. There’s a good chance I’ll still forget that I have to park and walk inside of a building, but at least I’m much less likely to be leaving at the time that I’m supposed to be there. Okay, so here’s I was like, trying to figure out what she was saying. And I think this is actually. Be brilliant. So I want you to, like, lean in, turn up the volume. You know how you’re like, Okay, I have to be at work at 8am it only takes me 15 minutes to get there, but the 15 minutes is like the distance in the car. It doesn’t account for. I have to find a parking spot. I have to walk from the parking garage into the building. I have to, like, unload all of my stuff. So, like, there’s more to your travel time than just the actual time in the car or on the train. And so Dominique is making the point that she uses the travel time feature in the Apple calendar app to make sure that she’s accounting for not just the distance in the car or on the train or subway or whatever it is, but also like walking to the building, getting to the destination. I remember the moment when I was pulling into the church parking lot at 11am the service started at 11am and I remember asking myself, I’m on time, but I’m still going to be late, because I pulled in at 11, and I was like, Oh my gosh, I’m on time. But then I was like, Wait a second, I’m still going to be late. Because even though I arrived at the church building at 11am I’m not going to be in the service. And it was in that moment, it was like, it was like a baby, like a baby chick hatching out of an egg. I felt like I was really becoming a person like, oh, I need to actually get here five to 10 minutes earlier if I want to be in my seat at the start of the service time, that seems like information somebody should have told me yesterday, but, like, nobody actually taught that to me, and my brain did not naturally go there. And so, yeah, accounting for more than just the distance in the car kind of important who I’m getting fired up. Okay, Dominique also says I have nearly zero ability to keep track of the passage of time, so when I need to be conscious of time passing, I’ll set alarms on my watch. For example, if I’m getting ready to go somewhere, I’ll set a three minute timer and keep resetting it until I leave. That keeps drawing my attention to the passage of time so that I can adjust my pace.
That is brilliant. Okay, in her home, Liz uses dry erase markers to write notes on windows, mirrors and the fridge. I’m stealing that one, Windows mirrors and the fridge. That’s brilliant. Dry erase markers, y’all, don’t confuse it with a sharpie, or your spouse is gonna be pissed. Okay, dry erase markers, Liz also says I use Voice Memos for everything. It’s great for verbal processing. It’s so much easier for me than replying to text. I even have Siri automations to send voice notes to my notion. Notion is like an organization app. It helps keep my brain free of clutter. Pardon me, my goodness. Love these tips. All right, we’re going to end here, my friends with some travel tips. If you are someone who travels, here are a couple things to make your life easier. Russell says, I have a few checklist templates in Evernote before I pack, I copy and paste the template as I pack the things, I check the item off the list. Historically, I always manage to forget something that I only realize I forgot while I’m unpacking this mess and mess. Let’s try again. This method has not been infallible, but it has been helpful. Liz says I keep an extra set of all toiletries permanently packed and in my suitcase with, of course, extra contacts and medication. That is brilliant. I i I packed for the Texas trip, and I thought I did a great job. I was really proud of myself, and I even bought extras. So I because I have a couple trips coming up, and I didn’t want to have to go to the store to, like, buy all the travel items again, so I bought a couple extras of everything. So I now I have a bin of travel like toiletries, which I’m very, very proud of. Guess what I forgot? Guess what I forgot a toothbrush. Toothbrush. Guess who was calling down to the like hotel receptionist, like front desk, not receptionist, front desk. Hi, I forgot a toothbrush. And then guess who had to do the walk of shame in her PJs down to the front desk to get the hotel the hotel toothbrush, which I used all week long. I just used the hotel one. It was so bad, and I was very excited to get home and use my own. Sometimes we forget things. It’s fine, it’s fine. But I love. The idea of packing a whole extra set of toiletries. That’s a great idea. Great idea. Okay, that’s it. I was just scrolling my notes to see if there was anything more. I think that these are very simple, practical ways that US ADHD ers can implement to cut costs. And what I mean by cut costs is lower the price of just living our everyday life. It is emotionally, mentally, physically expensive, if you know what I mean, just to survive everyday life, okay, and these ADHD accommodations, they’re not shortcuts. They’re just some scaffolding. They’re just support systems. They’re they’re, maybe could make the difference between consistent, quote, unquote, failure or forgetting or like, not meeting the mark that you’re wanting to meet and sustainable function. I highly encourage you to take some of these ideas and tweak them in ways that work for you, or just start thinking about for you. Like, what are the ways that I can accommodate my own ADHD? What is practical for me. What are the ways that I can set up my home, my space, my day to day routine that works for me and like
that is just, I just really want to encourage you, like this is worth it’s worth doing the work upfront so that the price is lowered in your day to day life. Okay? It’s worth the effort that you spend on the front end so that there’s a lot less effort on the back end. All right? So sometimes we think like, I don’t feel like thinking this through, or I don’t feel like doing like, gosh, it sounds like a lot of work to have to go out and buy Sharpies and notepads. I don’t feel like doing that, because that’s gonna that’s gonna be a lot of work to go do that. But think about Bill. Think about Bill, where every room in his house he’s got a Sharpie and a notepad that’s actually in the long run, going to save so much work. It’s actually in the long run, gonna accommodate him so well. Think about David. Think about how it is kind of, quote, unquote, a lot of work for every time that he sends an email to his to his doctor to request a medication, he’s actually sending two.
He’s sending one and then he’s scheduling one. And you might think like, Oh, it’s too overwhelming, it’s too much work. It’s not worth the effort. But I disagree, because now David doesn’t even have to think about it, because it is scheduled. It saves so much effort in the long run. Now he doesn’t have to keep medication refill in his brain for four weeks. He just knows that that email is gonna be sent. Okay? Brill yint Remember that your job here is not to fit into a neurotypical box. It’s not to look like everyone else. It’s not necessarily to fit into society. It is to be as much of yourself as possible to live up to your potential, to set yourself up for success, to set yourself up to be able to spend your limited capacity on the things that matter the most to you, that matter the most to your life, that matter the most to your like your passions and your what you want to do in your life. Okay, so whether it’s a freezer full of frozen vegetables or a sticky note on the bottom of a bathroom mirror, or a time blocked calendar with built in naps, like scheduling time for naps. It’s not weird, it’s brilliant, it’s wise. It’s accommodating. Okay? I really encourage you to think through what are the ways if you are diagnosed and medicated and you’re in some sort of self development therapy, coaching, something, okay, great, great, great, great. Now the next step, how can you accommodate your life? All right? And I just wanna say thank you again to every single focus member who contributed to this episode. Ah, your real life hacks. They’re gold. They’re gonna help so many people, so many other ADHD ers, feel less alone, feel more empowered. And I hope listener, that your creativity was sparked, that you have some good ideas now. Are things that, of things that you like really can do to tweak and accommodate your own life. And if you’re listening and you’re thinking, Gosh, it, these people seem cool. These people seem cool. And I want to figure out how to build my life around my ADHD brain. This is what we do inside of the focus program. Okay, so go to I have adhd.com/focus to learn more about that. Come join us. We want you. We want you in. Our community. We want you to be with us, doing this work together of self development. Okay, you are our people. We I know it already. I know it already. All right, so go to I have adhd.com/focus, to learn more about that. This has been so fun. I’ve had the best time with you. Thank you for hanging out with me today. I can’t wait to see you again next week. Bye, bye. A few years ago, I went looking for help. I wanted to find someone to teach me how to feel better about myself and to help me improve my organization, productivity, time management, emotional regulation. You know, all the things that we adults with ADHD struggle with I couldn’t find anything, so I researched and I studied and I hired coaches and I figured it out, and then I created focused for you. Focused is my monthly coaching membership where I teach educated professional adults how to accept their ADHD brain and hijack their ability to get stuff done. Hundreds of people from all over the world are already benefiting from this program, and I’m confident that you will too go to Ihaveadhd.com/focused for all details.
